Ran with the devil, Walked with angels

Obama's speech

2012-01-25T13:23:00.000-08:00

1/25/12 Wednesday
We have rain, not much, just a little drizzle. It’s cold so have a fire going. Cooked some chicken for Cherie. Right now I am working on a response to Obama’s State of the Union speech. I’d called him “Liar in Chief” on my facebook page and got someone a bit upset. He asked me to name the lies so I am taking the time to go through his speech and do just that.

Part of the difficulty with Obama’s speech is he, and his team of assistants, is careful to not be caught in an obvious lie. However Obama is an expert at bending the truth and spinning facts in such a way as to achieve his purpose. We live in an age where propaganda is so pervasive it is hardly recognized, and the sheeple often swallow whatever line they are fed. So I will go through his speech point by point.

“For the first time in nine years, there are no Americans fighting in Iraq. For the first time in two decades, Osama bin Laden is not a threat to this country. Most of al Qaeda’s top lieutenants have been defeated. The Taliban’s momentum has been broken, and some troops in Afghanistan have begun to come home.”

Ok, That’s a fact, kind of. But is this good? There are still troops in Iraq but they are not technically fighting but training and providing some guidance. Meantime Iraq is decaying into a civil war as the situation deteriorates. Iran’s influence is immense and growing so though Obama’s early withdrawal we could well end up with a worse enemy than we had. I know Obama would like to take credit for Osama Bin Laden being killed but those wheels were put in motion with President Bush so Obama inherited that blessing. Al Qaeda’s top lieutenants defeated? Taliban momentum broken? Bull. Sure we have killed many Al Qaeda leaders but there are plenty to step into their shoes. As far as the Taliban goes, many of you may not be aware that Obama has opened channels of negotiation with the Taliban and part of that negotiation involves releasing many of the prisoners we have at Guantamino Bay, along with other compromises. Troops coming home from Afghanistan? Sure, whenever it is politically expedient our president can order some home for a big false show to impress us.

The reality in all this is that we are fighting a war with an ideology, a religion that believes in lying and deceit to achieve it’s goals. And our president has done much to hide or disguise that fact. All references to “radical Islam” Muslim terrorists, and anything else that identifies violent acts as being motivated by the Islamic religious belief has been ordered purged from all official government communication. Meantime the Obama administration is funneling not just millions but billions of dollars into the hands of these radicals through all kinds of back doors and under many guises.

“In the six months before I took office, we lost nearly four million jobs. And we lost another four million before our policies were in full effect. Those are the facts. But so are these. In the last 22 months, businesses have created more than three million jobs. Last year, they created the most jobs since 2005. American manufacturers are hiring again, creating jobs for the first time since the late 1990s. Together, we’ve agreed to cut the deficit by more than $2 trillion. And we’ve put in place new rules to hold Wall Street accountable, so a crisis like that never happens again.”

Sounds good doesn’t it? That’s because it’s supposed to sound good. The 4 million jobs lost were a fact, part of what Obama inherited, however that was over a 9 month period, not six as stated. But read how carefully he states the next sentence “we lost another 4 million Before our policies were in Full effect” The reality is that took a full nine months and this includes 8 months after the trillion dollar stimulus package was passed. So despite a trillion dollars being put on the table job losses still continued. The reality is that he talks about 8 million jobs being lost but only created three million to replace them. Unemployment today is still at one of its highest points ever. And the unemployment figures used aren’t honest anyway because many have given up on finding a job and thus are no longer counted. Here is another fact. Obama has the worst job creation record of any president since world war ll.

“We will not go back to an economy weakened by outsourcing, bad debt, and phony financial profits… It’s time to apply the same rules from top to bottom: No bailouts, no handouts, and no copouts.”

Interesting. Obama was the bailout and handout president. He bailed out the banks but held no one accountable, he bailed out the auto industry, and he’s handed out billions of dollars. “No copouts” is a meaningless good sounding political phrase that has no real value.

“Right now, American oil production is the highest that it’s been in eight years. That’s right — eight years. Not only that — last year, we relied less on foreign oil than in any of the past sixteen years.”

Not really. America’s oil production is practically unchanged since 2003 and according to the Energy Information Administration is only slightly up in the last few years. Oil and gas production on federal lands directly under Obama’s control is down 40 percent compared to 10 years ago, according to Spencer Pederson, a spokesman for Representative Doc Hastings, a Washington Republican and chairman of the House Natural Resources Committee. In 2010, the U.S. signed the fewest number of offshore drilling leases since 1984.

“Lower imports are the result of lower demand, and increasing production has come despite Obama’s policies”, according to Jack Gerard, American Petroleum Institute President. Here’s another quote from someone in the industry “The losses due to the Obama administration’s death-grip on offshore drilling and its unwillingness to open federal lands or issue timely permits for exploration far outweigh any energy gains that the White House may tout this week,” Thomas Pyle, president of the Washington-based Institute for Energy Research, said in a statement.

Essentially, the increase in oil and gas production has happened despite the Obama administrations apparent efforts to stymy that growth. Oh, but he’s quick to claim credit for it.

“Take the money we’re no longer spending at war, use half of it to pay down our debt, and use the rest to do some nation-building right here at home.”

And it’s the “Let’s play with words” game. The money we spent on war we borrowed. Period. So what he is saying, in such a nice way, is that we will continue to borrow money “to pay down our debt” and keep on borrowing more for what he calls “Nation building”. What this really means is that he wants to increase domestic spending relative to what we use with the military. And all the while keep borrowing money while increasing our countries debt. Creating more debt to “pay down” debt is the height of stupidity but our country has been practicing this long before Obama became president. We now have to borrow money just to pay the interest on money we have already borrowed. Why can’t anyone in government see this is a bad course to follow? It’s like a heroin addict stealing money for his next fix and saying “this will be the last time I do this”.

“Right now, because of loopholes and shelters in the tax code, a quarter of all millionaires pay lower tax rates than millions of middle-class households.”

Blame it on the rich. That’s the popular thing to do now. The reality is that most millionaires actually pay more tax, about a 30 percent tax rate. But there are loopholes that I personally would like to see dealt with, loopholes put in by our self-serving congress. Personally I would like to see a flat tax with no loopholes.

I’m tired and have stuff to do. There is much more in Obama’s speech but it’s your country, so investigate and read up on it yourself. Don’t forget to Vote and get your friends to vote too.

Starter fell off the truck

2012-01-14T10:55:00.000-08:00

1/14/12 Saturday
Went down to 26 degrees last night but today is the start of a nice warm up. I went to get mail and buy some diesel for the tractor but when I came out of the post office and tried to start the truck, it wouldn’t turn over. At first the starter made a grinding sound that I recognized as it not engaging the flywheel, but then it just clicked. There were several people who offered help, one went home to bring his truck back in order to give me a jump. While he was gone another fellow pulled up next to me, seeing the hood up and jumper cables out, and asked if I needed a jump. That didn’t work, the starter still just clicked. Another nice gentleman asked if I would like him to tow me home, saying he had a chain in his truck. Sounded like a good plan to me so I gratefully accepted.

When we let the truck roll back so we could attach the chain a lady coming out got my attention and pointed to a long bolt laying on the ground where I had been parked. Come to find out one of the bolts that held the starter on had broken off. The threaded part is still in the motor block. That will be an adventure to get out. Now that Cherie gets paid on a two week basis money is tight at this time of the month, but it’s always tight anyway. I will need to get a screw or thread extractor in order to clear the bolt hole, or perhaps left handed drill bits. Problem is I don’t think my drill runs in reverse but I’m pretty sure the cordless one does. When I crawled under the truck the starter fell off and broke the big wire fitting that supplies it’s juice so I have to fix that too.

I think I will go get some diesel with Cherie’s truck and run the tractor while the ground is still damp and workable. The pain level has been pretty high since yesterday, making simple movements a challenge. Can’t take the morphine till 2:00 but it barely dampened the pain yesterday so it is just something I’ll have to endure. I am tired too, though it is only 12:45. Today I am back to where I was 8 years ago regarding pain and that fatigue that comes on so easily. Reminds me just how blessed I am.

I appreciate reminders.

2012-01-12T12:35:00.000-08:00

This morning's sunrise, over the frozen little lake our driveway becomes.

1/12/12 Thursday
As always, I am faced with the many things I have not gotten to. Was grateful for the reminders sent regarding updating the blog for the Kairos prison ministry. We were stuck in Ohio when the last Kairos event happened so I not only missed it but failed to write in the Kairos blog regarding the event. That was in September. So today I must focus on that, or I will proceed to some other thing and forget again. It is frustrating to be so smart and so dumb at the same time. And then there is the personal problem I have when I perceive that someone dismisses my opinion as having no or little value. That happened recently during a conversation so I made the decision to walk away before my frustration grew to the point I would say something I regretted. The person followed me, not allowing the escape I sought and then later called on the phone. I expressed my perception that he had a lack of respect for my opinion but he seemed unable to see that fault in himself, so I again brought the conversation to an end. There was a time when I would have just unleashed all that emotion but I continue to improve there.

The snow has all melted now. It went down to 25 degrees last night so the ground froze again, along with the lake we have in front of our house. The high is only predicted to climb up to 47 degrees or so, so it will be a cool day for sure. I had been thinking of climbing on the tractor today but may not. But I do want to take advantage of this moisture in the ground and see if I can work the soil some more in that new 5 acre plot we cleared.

Evidently this is not a plow. I don't know what you call it but was told that it is technically not a plow.

A friend stopped over the other day and helped me understand a little more regarding the equipment I have cobbled together. He had taken college courses on mechanical agriculture, or something like that, way back in his early years. I said something about trying to “plow” that new plot as he looked at my tractor and, pointing to what I had on the tractor said “That is not a plow”. I don’t remember what he called it but when we walked back to where the other bits and pieces of equipment are he pointed to the single blade I have used to create trenches for the drip irrigation and said “That’s a plow”. The other things Mark told me were to basically scratch the surface and the “plow” is what I use to break what he called “hard pan”.

This, however, is a plow. Unfortunately I only have this one that is complete, though I do have another that contains two of these, but they are worn out and the front blade is missing on one. Considering my tractor seemed unable to pull the two blade thing I pictured above it might not matter. So I will hook up the single blade and take twice as long with twice the fuel to break up the new plot of land.
Mark was surprised to hear that there are no area farmers helping me to understand these things or anything else about farming. I explained the power of gossip in this area and how some seem anxious to spread that which would inhibit anyone from being friendly with us. But on the other hand I must admit that I am not that good at reaching out to others and being friendly. I also am not good at asking for help for when we have nothing seems to come of it, with the exceptional exception of a few and the friends we have at the First Baptist church in Midland. Here in Stanton there has been very little contact and some of those we have met sometimes seem to turn and stab us in the back. There are exceptions to that general observation, but not many. Hopefully in time that will change. This town needs a good dose of the real love of Jesus, instead of the version we have experienced.

I am being pulled more and more in the direction of starting a bible study here, and will pursue it and see what happens. Have talked to several people we know and respect about it and have heard nothing negative regarding the concept. That is up to God. I am not really worthy of doing such a thing and realize intently that there comes a tremendous responsibility any time you stand up and represent God. My desire is to reach all those whom are not well looked on by others. In my conversations at the jail I perceived a definite feeling of not being accepted in local churches by those who were incarcerated there. This is so sad, and such a poor reflection on the truth of God, who’s main commandment is to Love Him with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind, and to love your neighbor as yourself. That’s it. Real clear and simple, but appears to be as rare as it is clear.

Last Sunday Cherie and I had church and communion at home. We feel it vitally important to have the Lord’s supper, to remember through the bread and wine that He died so that we may have life. During the devotional we had together we read how Abraham “Walked before the Lord”. “What does that mean, to walk before the Lord?” I asked Cherie, fully intending to answer my question. But I will ask you too, all who read this, what does it mean to walk before the Lord?

The scriptures talk extensively about how we walk, both before and with the Lord, and also walking in the vanity of our own mind as well as in sin, following the paths of others who are not pleasing to God. In Genesis 5 we find this rather mysterious statement “Enoch walked with God ; and he was not, for God took him.” The sentence before that said “Then Enoch walked with God three hundred years after he became the father of Methuselah, and he had other sons and daughters. 23 So all the days of Enoch were three hundred and sixty-five years”. It would seem that Enoch began walking with God after the birth of his son, Methuselah. I believe that there is a delicate line, a point where you have advanced past “walking before” the Lord to that level of spirituality where you are walking “With” the Lord.

Before their sin, their act of pride in the garden of Eden, Adam and Eve walked with God in the garden daily. It was a time of fellowship and communion, when there was nothing to stand in the way between them, it was the way God intended when He created them, but that fellowship and communion was disrupted by their sin. Enoch, apparently achieved that level of righteousness and purity that I so would like to come close to, and God simply took him to heaven.

Before you can walk with God, you must walk before Him. Here is the scripture I had read that brought this up with Cherie and I. “Now when Abram was ninety-nine years old, the LORD appeared to Abram and said to him, "I am God Almighty ; Walk before Me, and be blameless.” Enoch was 65 and Abram was 99 so that gives me hope at my young 56 years of age.

Listen then, while I tell you what I believe it means to “Walk Before The Lord”. When you are before someone, you are in their presence and very aware that they are examining you. In court you appear “before” a judge, whose job it is to study what you say and even how you say it. To walk before the Lord then is to be constantly aware of His almighty presence. I am sure many will say that they are constantly conscious of God’s presence but I would be careful with that. I know that I am not, despite longing to achieve that awareness.

Let’s be real. We behave often according to the company we are in. When your father or mother is present most of us watch our P’s and Q’s carefully. When you are with the pastor or priest there is little question that you would be on your “best” behavior. But then you get around some rowdy friends, and that all changes. I find myself being easily drawn into their mode of conversation and sometimes catch myself saying or agreeing with things that I would be ashamed to talk about in front of certain others, and more importantly to God. To Walk before the Lord means to be acutely aware that there are no secrets and nothing is hidden from God, and that we will all give account for every word we speak, especially if that word causes spiritual harm to another.

This is the start of the day. At least as far as this blog is concerned because it is somehow already 2:00. I hope to visit the jail today, and need to despite many other things to do. There is nothing more important than the eternal life available to all, nothing. Bye now. Be good and remember that there is a God and He really does love you. I have many friends who don’t share this belief and read this blog, but I don’t apologize for possibly offending or causing them discomfort. They should know that I love them and judge no one for not sharing the same convictions I have. Been there so very much understand.

I'm fed up, tired of this constant self serving

2012-01-08T07:55:00.000-08:00

Received this email today. I don't do the forward thing but I will post this on my blogs.

Congress Unexplainable, Inexcusable
Col. Amos wrote, "Please forward this to every one you know, we need a 28th Amendment along these lines. No one has been able to explain to me why young men and women serve in the U.S. Military for 20 years, risking their lives protecting freedom, and only get 50% of their pay. While Politicians hold their political positions in the safe confines of the capital, protected by these same men and women, and receive full pay retirement after serving one term. It just does not make any sense. Monday on Fox news they learned that the staffers of Congress family members are exempt from having to pay back student loans. This will get national attention if other news networks will broadcast it. When you add this to the below, just where will all of it stop?
Governors of 35 states have filed suit against the Federal Government for imposing unlawful burdens upon them. It only takes 38 (of the 50) States to convene a Constitutional Convention. If you agree, please pass it on. This is an idea that we should address. For too long we have been too complacent about the workings of Congress. Many citizens had no idea that members of Congress could retire with the same pay after only one term, that they specifically exempted themselves from many of the laws they have passed (such as being exempt from any fear of prosecution for sexual harassment) while ordinary citizens must live under those laws. The latest is to exempt themselves from the Healthcare Reform... in all of its forms. Somehow, that doesn't seem logical. We do not have elite that is above the law. I truly don't care if they are Democrat, Republican, Independent, or whatever. The self-serving must stop. If each person that receives this will forward it on to 20 people, in three days, most people in The United States of America will have the message. This is one proposal that really should be passed around.
Proposed 28th Amendment to the United States Constitution: "Congress shall make no law that applies to the citizens of the United States that does not apply equally to the Senators and/or Representatives; and, Congress shall make no law that applies to the Senators and/or Representatives that does not apply equally to the citizens of the United States..

How I love the Lord

2012-01-04T11:29:00.000-08:00

1/4/12 Wednesday
How I love the Lord, who has raised me from the dead and given me life. Today is a windy day. I had planned to get out and working on that old 29 AA Ford truck by now but keep remembering things I must do. Right now I am going to write one of our lawyer friends about an injustice I became aware of through my prison ministry. I am not free to give details so won’t. There are too many who read this blog with the intention of tracking what we are doing so that they can interfere where possible. They don’t worry me for we are God’s servants and He takes care of us, and thus those who work against us are in reality working against God’s children. The last thing I would want to do is give God a reason to come against me.

I went and picked up mail so on the way back stopped and got a burrito from the little roadside stand on the main highway through town. Told the girl I wanted one of their world famous burritos and explained it would be world famous because I talked about it on this blog. Well, that might be stretching things a bit but I do have people around the world who read this so not too much. She asked what the websites name was and I told her, but figure I’d better hurry up and talk about the burrito’s so I wouldn’t be a liar. They are chili verde burritos, and are usually quite spicy, but the one today was pretty mild, made I’m sure for your average Joe’s tastes. Personally I like the heat. But they are good for sure and priced right, so if ever you come through Stanton and come down the business 20 road, look for a little roadside building with a carport metal awning set up in front and stop in for some good food.

Finally got the plowing figured out. Seems that my tractor doesn’t have what it takes to pull three plow blades through this tough Texas dirt, at least not now that it has dried some. Perhaps when there is a fresh rain it will. I attached the two bladed plow and finished the new five acre plot. Two plow blades make only one hill, or whatever it’s called, between two furrows, so it takes a lot of passes to cover the five acres. I used about $40 worth of diesel on that small plot of land, between discing it twice and plowing once. That’s a chunk of change for sure. I am studying further making bio diesel from vegetable oil and when I brought it up with some big farmers who are in the prison ministry with me it sure sparked some interest. So I know that anyone who wants to save money (and who doesn’t want to do that?) and uses diesel fuel would be a potential customer.

That’s it for now. I will not get into a bible verse for that would lead me to spend an hour or more digging into it. For those who have found their prayers no longer have the power they once had I will simply suggest you read Isaiah 59 to learn why. We pray every day for those who gossip and hate, doing so in the name of the Lord in their blind self-righteousness, asking God to have mercy on them but more importantly to bring them to understand how wrong they are.

Happy new year, I hope, and pray

2012-01-02T11:58:00.000-08:00

+1/2/12 Monday
2012 is finally here. What do we expect for this coming new year? While most people like to talk about all the good things that they want to happen, or expect to happen, I prefer to live in reality. Do I want to sound a trumpet of positive things? Certainly I do, but I see the handwriting on the wall in so many ways that I can’t honestly do so. We hear this phrase “The handwriting on the wall” many times, but do you know where it came from? It is found in the book of Daniel, chapter 5.

It was in Babylon, that great city which is no more but is talked much about in biblical prophecy, so will, or perhaps already has, come again. Anyway, Belshazzar was now king after his father, Nebuchadnezzar, had died. He was having a great party and all were drinking and having a grand time, when a hand appeared out of nowhere and began writing on the wall. No one could interpret what the handwriting said so Daniel, the man of God, was summoned. The king promised gold, silver, and one third of the kingdom. Daniel told the king he could keep his gold and rewards, “Give them to someone else” he said. Then Daniel explained to the king what the writing said. "This is the interpretation of the message : 'MENE '-God has numbered your kingdom and put an end to it. 27 " 'TEKEL '-you have been weighed on the scales and found deficient. 28 " 'PERES '-your kingdom has been divided and given over to the Medes and Persians."

And so it was. Now I don’t see a ghostly hand writing on a wall, I see the whole world teetering on an edge, with lots of people anxious to push it over, ready to take advantage of all the instability. There are many who have designs to accomplish various goals in this day and age. Some are socialist, some anarchist, communist, and then the religious groups, mostly various versions of Islamist. Many desire to see the United States come to ruin, for this nation, with it’s powerful military, has traditionally been a guardian of morality. Sadly though that morality has been eroded and changed, so that what was right is now seen as wrong, and what once was considered wrong is promoted as right and any who don’t see it that way are branded as intolerant.

With the decline of moral standards comes a cancer of wanton decay. And in the process the one true God is being driven out of any form of influence. Now I know that one true God, having met Him just a few years ago, and I know that He has had plans long foretold for these last days. True to those prophesies of old we find many who hold to a form of Godliness but deny it’s power. They have created their God in a box who lets them do what they want without fear. That lack of fear, no comprehension of accountability, a sense and false doctrine that they can do anything they want and it’s all forgiven, leads many who wear that “Christian” label to do the very things God despises, and call it good.

Jesus said that there are two commandment we must keep. Love the Lord with all our hearts, soul, and strength. And the second is to love our neighbor as ourselves. But we see so many who are busy backbiting and gossiping, busy tearing down and causing division, looking down their noses at others, all the while saying “Look at me. I’m so spiritual and right”. Jesus also said that the way we treat the LEAST of His little ones is the way He feels we treat Him. The LEAST??? That would be the ones we think less of, the ones who are poor, ragged, caught up in various sins, who are hard to love. We know a lot of people who sure do love themselves a lot. They are proud of all they have done and anxious for everyone to know it, they are proud of all the money and success they have, and make sure you respect them for it. Now if we could only get them to love others as much as they love themselves it would be a very different world.

I see the handwriting of the world’s finances written on the walls too. That bubble will burst, come crashing down, and it won’t be pretty. But our leaders seem blind to the obvious. We, the United States, sent ten million dollars to China as part of a government program. Where did the ten million come from? We borrowed it from China, who has purchased much of our debt. Social Security has turned into a giant Ponzi scheme and anyone who can do simple math can clearly see that the money coming in is far less than the money promised to go out. On top of that our government has long been raiding Social Security coffers and thus stealing the money for use in other areas of Government.

It’s not just us. All of Europe, the European Union, and their currency, the Euro, is in shambles. We are bailing out country after country and despite publicly stating otherwise we are supporting the Euro through financial shenanigans. There is Greece, Great Briton, Scotland, and the list goes on of countries that are spending more than they bring in, the head of that list goes to the United States of America. None of us, as individuals, can spend consistently more than we make, can borrow more money than we know we can pay back, without understanding that there is a consequence. Yet that is what the whole world is doing.

Some of my welding attempts

And there are so many hair triggers out there in the world, so many little things that can precipitate crisis. Right now Iran is holding out the threat of blocking oil flow through the strait of Hormuz, where 40% of our oil comes from. There is a new dictator of North Korea, Organized crime has long controlled the Russian government, and in these along with many other cases there are nuclear missiles and bombs waiting to be unleashed.

Here at home there is so much that most of Americans seem to choose not to be aware of. There have been laws enacted that our government has put into place to deal with any potential economic or social crisis. Detention centers have been built, designed to house and imprison hundreds of thousands of people. Just on new year’s eve president Obama signed into law a bill giving our military unlimited powers to detain, and even kill, any who are deemed as domestic terrorists, and the law at the same time dismantles our constitutional bill of rights. Thus anyone deemed as an “Enemy combatant”, despite being a born American citizen, no longer has the right to a trial or even to be represented by an attorney. I’m not making this up. It’s all out there publicly available to see, but no one is looking, or at least not many. Those that do make an outcry find their voices muted. Our mainstream media only prints and broadcasts the company line, ie what our government wants us to know. The government is working fast to control the internet too, that last bastion of free speech left.

There is so much more I see. Food and the ability to obtain it will become a vital concern, and one that new laws have been put into place to control. But what about the positive things? God knew this was going to be, and talked about it through His prophets thousands of years ago. The descriptions of those last days are so horrendous that many Christians have developed a doctrine that says we will all escape it. But that doctrine is false and doesn’t hold up to a close study of what the bible says. What it does say is that we will be hated by all men for Christ’s sake, we will be persecuted and even killed for our faith. Then Christ will return as a conquering messiah, and put an end to all this terrible pain, for just a thousand years. After that the devil will be released again and things will once again become ugly. Why? Why? Because in the end God is interested in those who will stay true, who pass the test so to speak. It is not going to be easy folks, but when all is said and done the reward is great, eternal life in heaven.

Jesus said that the way is broad and easy that leads to destruction, but the way is hard that leads to eternal life and there are few who find it. So prepare yourself for the days to come. My desire is that all make it to eternal life but the reality is all won’t. So I sound the trumpet of warning. Make straight the way of the Lord, strengthen your selves and put on the full armor of God in preparation for the fight to come. Don’t take the easy way for that leads to destruction.

Meantime I finally got the plow to work. Took lots of trial and error. I welded and found I didn’t weld good so I welded again. Went and got another tank of oxygen so I could try to gas weld the plow, but that didn’t work good either. Then I turned that little miniature arc welder up full blast and that seemed to work better.

Going out with the plow and tractor I discover that I have much to learn. It kept bogging down the tractor so I had to keep adjusting things. Then one side would dig in so I made a block that helps keep the plow centered. That seems to work better now. Today, after I charge the battery up again, I will go try again.

So what do I do after I get this plowed? I really don’t have a clue. We do not own a seeder device that can put seeds in the ground so it will all have to be done by hand. What will I plant? Don’t know that either. We have some blackeyed peas left to plant. However there is the question of drought. We’ve been in drought for 2 years now. Will this year be better? Who knows. I certainly don’t. So I will proceed in faith, as I always do. I know plowing is important to farming because all the other farmers plow their field. If nothing else it helps the land not blow away as fast. We will put in the drip irrigation as planned but not sure what to do with this new five acre area. Sure would be nice if I had a relationship with some of the local farmers, but they don’t seem too anxious to be real friendly. Oh, they say Hi and stuff but no real conversation about farming or my plans.

The most important question, ever

2011-12-24T12:40:00.000-08:00

12/24/11 Saturday
It’s the day before Christmas. We have snow, as you can see from this picture I took this morning. I had planned on making the two hour trek to the Lynaugh prison today but the people I was going to ride with decided road conditions make that unadvisable so it was cancelled. That’s unfortunate because this time of year is always extra hard on those in prison, locked away from family and friends. But this time of is hard on so many in this world. I will call my friends in Ohio to try and give them some cheer and hope. Allen may be in jail by now, facing a charge for growing marijuana, and Suzie had recently been calling and texting, desperately looking for financial help since her car got impounded because of her son. How I wish we could help but we struggle just to put gas in our vehicles and pay the bills as it is. If we still lived up there I could at least provide transportation for her and the teenage daughter who is now pregnant. It breaks my heart to watch people suffer the consequences of decisions made, knowing the answer to their problems but unable to make them understand or accept that answer.

So, unable to go to the prison, what will I do today? I must finish writing the short version of the story of my life. I have been so undisciplined in pursuing the writing that needs to be done. Discipline is simply something that must be applied, something I must make myself practice. A big part of the issue here is the remaining effects of my brain injury. I have improved and healed tremendously in the ten going on eleven years since the accident but there are still some problems I must battle. My memory is better but still very poor, and my ability to follow through on tasks is a continuing struggle.

Cherie is getting better at helping me, a little more understanding that I must be reminded repeatedly, like a child, in order for some things to get done. I was taught to have a written schedule of tasks to be completed at the Brain Injury Institute in St. Louise but have yet to make that a practiced part of my daily routine. It is hard for Cherie to understand for she sees me daily and thus observes that I am very intelligent but there is the rub. The score of the IQ test I was given by the psychologist a month or two ago was 112, definitely above average but a far cry from the 136 genius level I was tested to be during high school. What is hard for people to understand, seeing an obvious level of smarts, is why I seem unable to remember things or complete tasks, and why I sometimes have a hard time comprehending easy stuff. Some people judge me to be lazy or a dunce because of that. I’m not, it’s just that some parts of my brain don’t exist anymore or don’t work as good as they used to.

But there is another aspect of this equation. It is known that Albert Einstein had to be reminded to tie his shoes. His teachers thought he was just plain stupid in his childhood years of school. Bill Gates, the founder of Microsoft, was often so focused on things he needed to be reminded to bath, unaware even of his body odor. There is no question these two men were and are highly intelligent but despite that displayed what some considered signs of a lack that intelligence. Am I equivalating (Equivalate is now listed as a new word by Webster dictionary, though it has been used in several publications on occasion for some time now) myself with Bill Gates or Einstein? Not at all, I can’t even pretend to approach their intellect but I am no dummy. But I am absent minded and take comfort in having good company in that respect.

We have already taken quite a bite out of our firewood. If it runs out I know of a dead tree I can cut up for more.

So I digress. I need to write. There is much I have to say and much that needs to be said in these last days. I understand that it is through writing that I will have a voice. I also understand that my voice can be heard world wide through the poser of the internet. I also understand that our enemy will work to keep me distracted and thus keep my voice from being heard. So discipline must be practiced because time is getting short. There are some hard days ahead for us all, what we considered to be secure will be shaken hard, what we thought was solid ground will become sand.

I am a voice crying in the wilderness. A light in darkness that grows deeper every day. Some will think me delusional but time will prove my words true, and truth is becoming ever harder to discern as the days turn into night. Truth is called a lie by those who’s deeds are exposed by it. There are those whose concerns regard more of what others think of them, of their reputation among men, rather than what the living God, who sees all, even the deep hidden thoughts of the heart, perceives. The sadness is many of these have deceived themselves, have formulated a gospel that is a lie, one that makes their actions and thoughts acceptable in their minds when they are repugnant to God. My dog took a dump on the living room floor last night. We were almost overwhelmed by the odor of it and not at all happy, but such are some of the deeds, words, and thoughts of many, who wear the label of being a follower of Christ proudly, to the living God. A detestable pile of dung, whose odor permeates the very garments of all around it, yet they try to say it is a pleasing thing to God. Try to dress it up and make it pretty. Put a bow on it proudly say “Look at what I did for the Lord”. Listen to what Jesus says “I know what you are doing: you are neither cold nor hot. How I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm, neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of my mouth! For you keep saying, 'I am rich, I have gotten rich, I don't need a thing!' You don't know that you are the one who is wretched, pitiable, poor, blind and naked!” (Revelations 3)

There is a doctrine preached these days that is all about money. It says that if you are a child of God you will be blessed with great prosperity and wealth. It also implies that if you do not have wealth you must not be doing something right in your spiritual life. And thus, with this doctrine, comes judgment. It is judgment that is one of those detestable piles of dung that permeates so much of the church. Judgment comes disguised in many spiritual garbs. Sometimes it is dressed as the “gift” of discernment or it comes packaged as doctrinal superiority, where all those who don’t believe as you do haven’t received the “revelation” and thus aren’t as high as you are on the spiritual ladder. So there is this sense of superiority, which automatically makes the rest inferior, that becomes a vital part of all false doctrines. That in itself is often the draw, the bait so to speak, that attracts so many to take up the flag of deceit and run with it, clueless that they are causing more harm than good. At the core of this sense of superiority is that most dangerous of all sins and internal flaws, Pride.

The love of money is the root of all kinds of evil and pride is the root of all sin. Join them together and you have the basis for one of the most eagerly sought after and quickly accepted false doctrines there is. And it is powerfully destructive as well as causing great division within the body of Christ. Like Jesus said, that I quoted earlier “For you keep saying, 'I am rich, I have gotten rich, I don't need a thing!' You don't know that you are the one who is wretched, pitiable, poor, blind and naked”.

Is wealth bad? No, it is not bad at all, but it is dangerous. All of our life must be kept in balance and balance is often so hard to achieve. The bible doesn’t say money is the root of all evil, it says the LOVE of money is. Why is that? Because anything that we make more important than God becomes our god. Colossians 3 says ”Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry”. How is greed idolatry? The desire for more, whether it is money or possessions, can become a focus in life and thus the thing you worship. We are to trust in the Lord to take care of all our needs, to not worry about it. We are also to work hard and take care of our families too, but that is not greed.

Now a man came up to Jesus and asked, "Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?" "Why do you ask me about what is good?" Jesus replied. "There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, obey the commandments." "Which ones?" the man inquired. Jesus replied, " 'Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother,' and 'love your neighbor as yourself.' " "All these I have kept," the young man said. "What do I still lack?" Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth. Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." (Mathew 19)

Does this mean that Jesus wants us all to sell everything we have? I don’t think so. He said “If you want to be perfect sell your possessions and give to the poor”. A key here is having “treasure in heaven”. But let’s be real, as uncomfortable as it is. What does Jesus require of us, exactly what He gave for us, our lives. What it boils down to is what is most important to you. Are you willing to give up your life for what you believe in? I ask this question with the hope that what you believe in is God and His love for you. Are you willing to sell what you have and give it to the poor? Would you do that if God asked you to? What do you have in your life that is more important to you than God? These are serious questions you need to ask yourself. I know many people who hang on to what they have, even when they no longer have a use for it. There are many who have died clinging to all of their possessions, and even trying to still control them after they die through their will and the legal system.

It’s sad to see. But I have had the privilege of losing everything I own, from being worth over a million dollars on paper (though the reality was I would have been hard pressed to come up with 70 grand cash at the time) to wandering homeless carrying everything I owned in a plastic garbage bag. I had the privilege of dying and then was miraculously brought back to life, not by men but by God. The medics had given up, the coroner was called out to the scene of the accident, where he officially declared I was dead, I was covered up and on the way to the morgue. That brings the reality of death home for me.

I carved this as I recovered from the accident. It says what I believe

So here is a serious question I would like you to consider. When you die, what will have been the value of your life? What will happen to all your things, your possessions and money? Will there be the divisions and fighting over it I so often see? Will family members and loved ones get angry and bitter as they rush to get what they can out of your estate? But the important question, the only one that matters, the only one you will be worrying about as you stand before the Throne of God, is…Will God be happy with you?

Miracles still happen

2011-12-22T10:31:00.000-08:00

12/22/11 Thursday
We are blessed. There are so many times that it seems we can never dig our way out of a hole. Money is tight, will we be able to buy food? Can we even afford the gas we need to go get food or other essentials? Can we pay the electric bill, because it is more than what we have in the bank? So many questions, so many concerns, and so much stress for Cherie and I, but we are blessed. Our God is real and He does supply our needs according to His promises to do so. I believe we are being trained by God for the hard times that are coming, being taught to learn what it really means to trust in the Lord with all our heart, to not lean on our own understanding, so that in all our ways we acknowledge Him, and so that we can have confidence that God will direct our paths.

Here is an example of that. I learned this year that I can grow watermelons and cantaloupe with the salty well water so made the decision that next year I would focus on that. In order to do so I must install drip irrigation over the 5 acres we have cleared to farm. But money is tight. There is no way I can afford to buy the hoses and drip fittings required to do that. Not even close. So what do I do? Because I do trust in God and have faith in Him I talk confidently of my plans, but don’t talk about the seeming impossibility of being able to do it.

Here you can see the irrigation tubing laid before the furrows I plowed days ago.

So last week there was a Kairos prison ministry council meeting, where we began to make plans for next year. In the course of conversation Ken, a fellow Kairos member and tree farmer, tells me “I have a mountain of drip tubing that I no longer use. You can go get as much as you want”. Come to find out it has drippers placed every six feet, exactly the spacing I would use for the melons. I had already plowed the furrows needed to install the tubing, despite not having any and not knowing where I could get it, just a few days before.

This is miraculous provision folks. Some would say it’s just a coincidence and that I am reading into this something that is not there, but it’s not a coincidence, it’s a Godcidence. See, there is that word I had to invent because so many things happen in our lives that after a while one must realize that these things cannot all happen by chance, that there is a real supernatural hand putting these things together.

There are three sections just in this pile. I estimate it would cost me $100 dollars a section to put this together. Multiply that times 7 and you can see the Lord's blessings we have received. So much of what we have is others' leftovers and it is always just enough just in time.

So we are blessed. God loves us and has a plan already made out for our lives. But with that comes problems as well. Just as God is real so is our enemy, Lucifer. How easy it seems for the devil to manipulate others to work against us. He places seeds of doubt and judgment in their minds and encourages some to gossip and spread the poison that judgment is, staining the souls of those that receive this poison. There are some who promise to help but never do, and then there are the religious ones, the saddest part of this story.

Jesus said “Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.”. What is the will of the Father? It’s pretty simple, Jesus left only two commandments, to Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. And then to “Love your neighbor as yourself”. How is it that the religious people, who are “all that” in church, some pastors, some teachers, many good friends and followers of the others, don’t understand that when you talk bad about others, gossip about them, look down your nose at them, and think you are better than they are, you are not loving them at all. To love someone means you care how they feel, to truly love someone means that you will make the effort to help them be better people. Reach down and pick them up when they fall, feed them when they are hungry without worrying why it is they have no food. Real love requires action.

This is the Model AA 1929 Ford I get to work on. I told the owner that my fee is easy. I will do the work, keep tract of the time and materials used, and when done he can pay me whatever he feels like paying, if at all.

Jesus said clearly that the way we treat the “Least” of His little children is how we treat Him. Who is the least of His children? The ones with the most problems, the ones many of us think the least of, aren’t comfortable around, these are children whom God loves dearly. Understand that children require the most effort. They must be fed, protected, taught, and also understood. For a child often doesn’t comprehend that it is not good to get angry, jealous, or to not share his or her toys with others. The same is true with spiritual children, who despite being much older in years are still not mature in the things of God. Greed, selfishness, covetousness, are all issues many of us face no matter how mature we think we are in the Lord, along with many other issues. It is real love that helps us overcome these things, that motivates us to put forth that extra effort to help another. Real love requires sacrifice. Without sacrifice it is just empty talk.

Enough said. I have farm work to do as well as to go visit the guys in jail. It’s getting chilly these days so I must get some anti-freeze for the tractor because the last thing I need is a broken block because it froze up. With the Lord’s help I hope to start a bible study in Stanton, as well as at the prison in Lamesa. There is so much need for the basic truths of our faith to be presented. I understand that with that will come more attacks and opposition from the devil, so pray for me if you could. Nothing good comes without a cost.

Remember, God is good, He loves you so much He sent His son to come and die, so that you can have life. This is the truth of Love, showing us by His example how we should behave towards each other.

start of another week and we got rain

2011-12-19T19:05:00.000-08:00

12/19/11 Monday
Ahh, the start of another week. They seem to come and go so quickly these days. I am certainly staying busy. Went to the Fort Stockton prison Friday and got home at midnight from that. Left at 7:30 Saturday morning to attend the Kairos reunion at the prison in Lamesa. While I greatly appreciate the opportunities to help others it always comes coupled with a heaviness of the heart from seeing so much darkness in some of these souls. I often sit where I detect some need, whether it’s a sense of isolation or what. In Fort Stockton I saw a man sitting at the circle of chairs alone so I sat next to him. He had attended the last Kairos, the one I had missed because we were in Ohio. We talked a bit and I shared a little of what God has done in our life when the others for that group showed up. Come to find out it was a Spanish speaking gathering where some didn’t speak any English so others interpreted. I stayed and they were gracious to make sure I understood what was said as well as to include me in the conversation. The way I figure it is the more Spanish I hear the better able I will be to learn the language.

At Lamesa the group I sat with were mostly pagans and witches, who had probably gotten involved with Kairos for the free cookies and coffee. That was fine with me. I know a few pagans and various types of witches so have probably a better than average understanding of their belief systems. There were some interesting conversations there. I doubt I made any significant changes to their beliefs but I’m just there to show them the love of God and speak the truth.

We had planned on visiting with the widow that Saturday evening but she was sick so we waited till Sunday. Sunday morning we went to First Baptist church in Midland where we got to visit with all our friends we know there. We certainly have missed them and it became quickly apparent many of them had missed us as well. It was a wonderful time of fellowship and that brought home the lack of friends we endure here in Stanton.

After that we went to lunch with Jen and Wally, who had sent us the invite to the Sunday school Christmas get together. We met at Logan’s steakhouse and enjoyed the meal along with lots of good conversation. Wally asked about the farm and plans we have. I talked about my dreams and vision for the future regarding not just the farm but what we see coming in the whole world. There are some serious hard times coming, lots of major disruptions of what we thought was secure. I explained that was why we felt such an urgency to make this farm a producing entity. When it all is said and done you can’t eat gold and eating is the most essential requirement to live, along with having water to drink. People will always need to eat so producing food is a pretty safe bet when it comes to a business.

We went to see the widow after lunch. Cherie visited with her while I mowed her lawn and cut down the tomato plants that had finally succumbed to the freezing weather. We discussed things I can do for her in the future and talked of things of God. I wore out, almost falling asleep at the table, so had to cut the evening short. Always hate to do that.

We had some rain last night. Always am grateful for rain. I was able to get the tractor running so attached the single blade plow to the back. With it I was able to make the furrows I had marked out to install the tubing for drip irrigation for the melon patches. The ground being wet helped that task greatly. Tomorrow I hope to start running the half inch tubing for that. I was talking with a friend and he said he had a “mountain” of half inch tubing that had drip emitters already installed every six feet I could have for free. I’ll need to go to Odessa to pick it up. Perhaps that can happen tomorrow.

There is lots of work to do to be ready for planting come spring. No money for seed but at least I have seed left over I got from the watermelons and cantaloupe, along with okra and some other seeds. Certainly no money for fertilizer and the people I was getting horse manure from were unfortunately the church people with that little church in Stanton, and had evidently believed some lies being told regarding things I was purported to have said, so there is no longer any horse manure available. That is sad, such evil has been done there in the name of the Lord.

I’m tired so this is all I will write. Goodnight.

What does God want?

2011-12-16T09:43:00.000-08:00

12/16/11 Friday
This will be a busy day. Lord willing I plan to visit the Lynaugh prison this evening. These Friday Prayer and Share events make for a long day. It’s almost a two hour drive there, which of course makes it a two hour drive back so by the time I get home it is midnight. Then tomorrow I go to the Smith Unit prison in Lamesa. That is much closer and we can better afford the fuel to go there. At fifty dollars in gas to get to Fort Stockton prisons and back I wouldn’t be able to go if it wasn’t for hitching a ride with other Kairos ministry members. God always provides.

The visit’s to the Stanton jail have been productive. I worry about and pray for the young man who accepted Jesus as his Lord and savior 2 weeks ago for he has been released and I have no contact with him. There is a responsibility that comes with representing God here on earth. Jesus said “Go out and make disciples” not go out and get as many people “saved” as possible and then leave them on their own. Making a disciple requires that sacrifice so few seem to be willing to make, a sacrifice of your personal time and effort. That is not convenient you know, and here in America we have developed a “convenient” Christianity that requires only as much as one is willing to give and little sacrifice at all. Many churches have made things as easy as possible for their members, often just asking for money and saying thus they have fulfilled their duty.

At the Stanton jail I have been asked again what church I have or go to. Many incarcerated there presume I am a pastor with a church. But I am detecting something else in their questions. They want to come to my church and one specifically asked if I would be willing to spend time teaching him more about this Jesus I believe in. In Kairos there is a rule that you do not reveal your home address or any personal information for fear it will be used by those who desire to take advantage of others. I understand the Kairos policy for it is also the policy of the Texas Department of Corrections as well. However here at home I find a great need for the bible to be taught clearly, not with a denominational slant or the ulterior motives too often found in those who desire to be ministers of Christ.

As I talked with the guys in the jail they brought up their experiences in churches, both here and abroad. There was a general consensus of a lack of acceptance found, a lack of that most integral foundation of our faith, Love. They spoke of judgmental attitudes, gossip, and one said “I went to several churches, and there was nothing there”. I avoided telling of my experiences in the two churches we attended in Stanton because I didn’t want to reinforce their negative feelings. But I did turn to Mathew 24 and Mathew 7 and read the words of Jesus, of His predictions regarding the church and the problems that would be a part of it. “Watch out for false prophets, for they come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves”. When you understand that the definition of a prophet involves anyone who speaks for or represents God, anyone who is a pastor or preacher falls into that category.

So I recognize a need in this area, a need for a place without judgment where all the rejected and looked down on can come and feel welcome. These are the people Jesus came for, the ones He was gossiped about for associating with. Read what Jesus did and said in Mathew 9 “As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector's booth. "Follow me," he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him. 10 While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house, many tax collectors and "sinners" came and ate with him and his disciples. 11 When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?" 12 On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 13 But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

Who does God love? All of us. Who did Jesus die for? THE WHOLE WORLD, everyone, no exceptions. Who did Jesus have the greatest problem with? The religious people who thought they were better than others. What did Jesus say about that?
"Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men--robbers, evildoers, adulterers--or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.' 13 "But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.' 14 "I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted." (Luke 18)

So I am seeing more and more a need for balanced teaching, and for someone to reach out to those whom others seem to think not a whole lot of. Is God moving me in this direction? I have lots of questions don’t I. If this is what God wants then doors will open. Pray with me about it would you? Time to go things to do.
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Been working on getting the tractor to run. Put air in the tires that had gotten low, then went and got diesel fuel for it. Without a fuel gauge that works and unable to remember what I put in before nor how long it was run, plus because running a diesel out of fuel can cause some real problems, I figured it safer to put some in. So I got 5 gallons of diesel for about twenty bucks and put it in. Filled the tank up before I ran out so it wasn’t bad on fuel. I checked the oil and found it was fine so tried to start it. Not a bit of spark left in the battery so I put jumper cables on from my truck. Let it charge for an hour but that still wasn’t enough so I drug out the 100 foot extension cord and hooked up the battery charger. An hour later and it still won’t start. Nuts. Hope the battery hasn’t gone bad because we sure can’t afford a new one. I don’t even have money to get some anti-freeze and that could be a serious problem should we get a hard freeze. Last thing I need is a cracked block. There was anti-freeze in it but the tractor loses a gallon or two of water every time I run it so by this time it is pretty thinned out.

I sure want to plow the furrows we need to install the drip irrigation lines in preparation for growing some serious melons come spring. When I dug the grave for Buddy, whom I miss constantly, I found that the ground was wet a good 18 inches deep. Considering it gets rock hard and the plow won’t dig deep when it is dry this is a good time to do it.

But I will be leaving for the prison at 4 or 4:30 so am running out of time for that. Perhaps I can get it running and at least attach the plow. But tomorrow I go to the Lamesa prison and we also want to go help the widow out. Gonna be tight.

Just buried another dog

2011-12-13T09:01:00.000-08:00

Buddy reaching up for his pets

12/13/11 Tuesday
We buried another dog yesterday. Buddy is gone. I always called him the world’s friendliest pit bull and he was. Unfortunately that was his undoing. Buddy craved human attention more than any dog I have ever known. Yesterday, as I worked on writing my blog post, he would come to the bedroom window and give a little whining sound. When he saw me get up he would race around the house to the veranda door, where he knew I would come out. When I did Buddy would reach up for his pets, as he always does. I sat down with him each of the three times he got me to go out and Buddy would almost bowl me over as he crawled into my lap and kissed my face fervently. Buddy had become Trixie’s best friend. They would spend much of their time together exploring and playing.

The problem was that anytime someone pulled off the road Buddy would go visit them and whether it was the farmer across the road or workers on the oil well, he would cross the busy highway to be with them. I got into the truck many times to go and retrieve him from there. Yesterday there were crews out locating and marking pipelines and underground phone cables. I locked Buddy and Duke in the veranda, knowing he would be over there and not trusting Duke to not follow. When I saw they had left I let them out. Unfortunately they came back after lunch and it appears Buddy went over to visit with them. Perhaps it was when they left that Buddy got run over. I don’t know. Never heard brakes or a horn honking, just took out garbage and saw his body on the road. Broke my heart, again.

Trixie so misses her playful companion, just as we do. She spent her morning looking for Buddy, finding all the places he left his scent.

As always, my dogs teach me spiritual lessons. This one is my tribute to Buddy, but also should make you pause and think. While Buddy was the most loving dog we’ve known, he was also a problem. It didn’t matter how many times you would scold him, he would still cross that highway. Buddy’s pit bull instincts were also a problem so I had to break up fights between him and Rascal, as well as Duke, a few times. So he was a wayward dog who didn’t pay much heed to scolding, yet loved more than any other, always there when we came home or went out the door. But in the end his lack of obedience caused his final demise.

We knew this could happen. In the same way God knows the eventual outcome when His children constantly stray and are self willed. Like I loved Buddy and would go retrieve him when he strayed God loves us and works to get us to come back home, where we are safe and cared for. Proverbs says “There is a way which seems right to a man, but the end of that way is death”. We need to get real with our faith, and understand that in the end it is life or death. Moses stood before the nation of Israel, after they had been rescued from Egypt, had wandered in the desert for forty years, and just before they were to go into the land God had promised them, and said “I set before you blessings and curses, life and death, Choose you this day whom you will serve”. It was a pretty simple equation, obey and serve God and be blessed or go your own way and get the unpleasant fruits of that decision.

Those fruits are eternal and there is a point where they are final. Some have argued about this, pointing to people who have made millions directly from things that are diametrically opposed to all that God calls good. “Where is their bad fruit” they say. Jesus said “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. 36 What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? 37 Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? 38 If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his Father's glory with the holy angels." (Mark 8)

Buddy is gone. His death is final and there is no bringing him back. The fact is we will all, at some point, stand before the living God, and be called to answer for our life, and we will all suffer the consequences of decisions we make. These are inescapable basic principles of life that so many of us wish to ignore. Jesus also said "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”

There is no such thing as “Easy Christianity”. It requires sacrifice, giving up things you like because you choose to obey God. So many preachers these days, anxious to get as many people in the door of their church as possible, make it an easy gospel, and in the process lead millions down that easy broad road that leads to destruction. What is their end?

Again I turn to the words of Jesus, the son of God, who is, who was, and who always will be, and who also will be our judge. "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' 23 Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'

Understand please, that Jesus is talking about church people. They are praying to God, saying “Lord, Lord”, they are prophesying in the Lord’s name, they are casting out demons and healing the sick in the name of Jesus, so they are more than your average sit quietly in a church pew type of Christian, and in their minds, they are right with God so they are self deceived. They are walking down that broad and easy path to destruction, to a bad final end.

The lesson I have learned from Buddy is this. There are consequences to the decisions we make and there is a point of no return, a point where there is nothing you can do. Like Jesus said earlier “What shall a man give in exchange for his soul?”. We loved Buddy and Buddy loved us, craved our affections, was always there, but…But he went his own way, doing what we tried to show he should not do, self willed and seeking comfort where he should not have. Won’t you learn a lesson from Buddy too? Your life is in your hands. Choose this day whom you will serve. Either God or yourself. Please feel free to contact me if you want to talk about this. My email is bobcarver2@yahoo.com

Today I have a Kairos planning committee meeting and at the same time the Ministerial Alliance is meeting, so I must choose which one to attend. While in town I will make a water run and get 20 gallons of filtered drinking water for the house. Don’t like to waste any gas so if I’m going to make the 40 mile round trip to Midland I want to get the most of it I can. I need to buy new windshield washer blades for Cherie’s truck and we can just squeeze that out of our budget. Continue to study for a CDL driver’s license and hope to find a job. Would love to find a church I could serve at as well, but leave that in God’s hands.

Be blessed people, and know that God loves each and every one of you. I'll leave you with a final word from Jesus "Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. 26 But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash."

Truth???

2011-12-12T11:55:00.000-08:00

A picture of the winter wheat and rye we planted

12/12/2011 Monday
Ahh, Monday, the start of another week. We are halfway through the month of December and getting ever closer to the start of a new year. Cherie and I have both been fighting off a cold so are taking plenty of vitamins along with exercise and eating right. That plus a little prayer, which I am sure does more than the rest.

Cherie’s laptop picked up a nasty virus three days ago. I spent all day yesterday fighting it, going online and learning different ways to get this Trojan completely off of her computer. That fight is still going on this morning but I feel that at least I have a handle on it. The Trojan shows itself as “XP antivirus 2012” and pretends to be a windows product that has discovered all kinds of nasty infections on the computer. It then wants you to install it and if you try it tells you where to go to pay for the better version that will actually work. None of it works, all of the infections were placed there by the virus in the first place. Unfortunately this also means that a keylogger program is installed along with the serious possibility that all passwords have been compromised.

This Trojan made lots of changes to her computer, labeling every program as infected and thus stopping them all from working. I closed out her laptop and opened it up in safe mode. From there I was able to get online and download spyware programs to remove this. The first spyware program found it but didn’t make it go away, despite saying it did. The second one would not run in safe mode and when I went to regular mode was instantly infected so would not work at all. It almost seemed like there was someone on the other side watching my every move and countering them as I tried each technique learned from my other computer. I restored to earlier dates several times, ran spyware, thought I had it beat, and then it all showed up again, with a vengeance. Worked on Cherie’s computer from 9:00 in the morning till 10:00 at night nonstop Sunday. Nothing else got done.

Finally I went to Malewarebytes, one of the many programs recommended, and downloaded it. That program worked while the laptop was in safe mode and discovered 18 infected files. Those were removed but even after they were taken out I had to deal with the changes made to Cherie’s computer that kept me from going online or using any of her programs, including the Malewarebytes program. I posted to several computer forums and got an answer on how to correct that this morning. Now I’m running the Malewarebytes program and it has so far found 6 infected files, so the fight continues.

Meantime there are many other things I need to pay attention to. I applied for a job Saturday as a maintenance person for a storage locker. I explained my desire for something with flexibility to allow me to continue ministering at jails and prisons, along with my need to operate this farm and was assured that this job would allow it so went in to fill out the application.

Just filling out the application turned out to be quite interesting. I haven’t held a job since I woke from the coma ten years ago. When the lady learned that previous to that I ran three companies at the same time, all of which I had founded, with well over a hundred employees, and was applying for a job that paid only ten dollars an hour sweeping floors and cleaning up, she sat there looking at the application in silence. I told her about the accident, and how blessed I was to be alive. We will see what happens, it is in God’s hands. We got our electric bill and it is over 200 dollars. Cherie’s new job is part time and she doesn’t even make that in a week. It’s important for me to find work that pays. I’ve worked on this farm and house for five years but that hasn’t paid much. Like it or not I have difficulties from the brain injury but would hate to give up the dream we have to make this a working farm.

The tire is going flat on the tractor. I have a five gallon air tank for filling it up but that big tractor tire needs a whole lot of air. This little tank would probably require ten or perhaps twenty trips to fill that tire back up where it should be. I have a nice compressor our nephew gave us to bring here when we first moved but never hooked it up. Finally got an electric motor that should work on it but running and hooking up electricity is one of the many tasks I have not gotten to. Here I am surrounded with the reminders of my deficiencies, surrounded by so many uncompleted projects, things started but never finished. With a little help I could do wonders but a little help is hard to find out here.

The ground is wet so this would be an ideal time to hook up the single plow blade and make the trenches needed to place drip irrigation pipes in the ground for next spring. Wet ground is rare out here for sure. On one of our walks Cherie and I were out where I had planted the winter wheat and rye grain. Both of us were astonished at how many rabbit droppings there were. Now I understand why the wheat and rye never went very far. It’s been feeding rabbits for the whole area. It is all still there but at ground level with nothing more than an inch tall.

As Christmas approaches my thoughts turn again to those at that little church in Stanton. We pray for them every day, that they would recognize the blatant hypocrisy they so willfully displayed and be restored to a correct relationship with God. I wonder if they read this blog at all and if they do how they might interpret what I say. Odds are they would see it as me being bitter and vindictive, speaking words of poison to get even, and thus further justify their actions. This is the way of people, who always want to see themselves as righteous and often refuse to recognize any fault within. So here is a simple question for them, Does God desire for you to love or despise your neighbor? Actually I have a lot of questions. Does God desire separation or unity? Isn’t that which causes division from the devil and not God? Which is most pleasing to God, to talk about someone or to actually sit down and talk with them?

Of course what they did hurt us, and the idea that they smugly believe what they did was right really digs it in deeper. Do I want to hurt them back? No. I pray for them because I understand that we all must answer to God for every word we speak, and I also know, from Jannie’s own words, that we were not the first to be so treated. What a dangerous road she treads, and leads others to follow, judging in the name of the Lord that which they ought not to even touch. I sometimes send copies of blog posts to Jannie but have no idea if she even looks at them. I on occasion send her a note explaining that we love her and are praying for her. Does she see them or just automatically delete anything that has my name on it? I don’t know for there is no contact with our brothers and sisters in Christ from that arena. How I long to talk with them, to heal this rift caused by gossip and judgment. Ephesians 4 says “Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, 3 being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

One of the reasons I talk about this so often is it was not an isolated example. Throughout the church in America, there is an increasing incidence of this kind of judgment and rejection. With that comes a great increase in false teachings and doctrines as well. I understand that nothing that happens to us happens by accident. In these last days God has raised many to stand up and speak out for true righteousness, to stand against this great falling away from the truth. Who am I? you may ask. I am nobody, the smallest and least in God’s kingdom, but I am His child and small as I am do know right from wrong. Who are you to deny what you know is the truth? There is a way which seems right to a person but the end of that way is death. The one who knows what is right to do, and does not do it, to him (and her) it is sin. If you go on sinning willfully after receiving the knowledge of truth there no longer remains a sacrifice for your sin, but a certain, terrifying judgment.

There are so many spiritual lessons our dogs provide me. I watch as they fight and play, sometimes it is hard to tell the difference. But there is always that jealousy displayed, and the desire to be the top dog, to be recognized as dominant. How often I see this same spirit displayed in people. The desire for everyone to look up to you, and to bow before you, acknowledging your position of importance, is the central tenant of pride.

What is the truth? That God so loves us He sent His only son to die for our sin. Love is to be the hallmark of our faith. What is Love? True love is demonstrated in actions, not empty words, true love requires sacrifice on a personal level. True love gives, not takes. True love accepts others, not rejects. True love draws in the lost and needy but hypocrisy soon becomes evident and brings those who see it to flee. This is the danger I fear for many, for if by your actions others who could have accepted Christ as their Lord instead reject Him, their blood is on your head.

Several times now others have called me a prophet. I am not happy about that and not keen on such a title at all. Such a thing I would never declare that about myself. We have seen way too much falseness and deception performed by those who claim to be prophets, and make good money along with getting lots of accolades in the process. What does a true prophet of God do? He/she leads others to live lives more pleasing to God. They point out the sin and falsehoods others practice. And they seldom are popular because of that. I am a servant, nothing more. I hear God because I listen and study His words. I see what is clear to see but wonder why others can’t.

Here is a scary scripture I was shown two days ago. It is found in Ezekiel 13. Why is it scary? Because there are many these days who’s actions follow this pattern.

Then the word of the LORD came to me saying, 2 "Son of man, prophesy against the prophets of Israel who prophesy, and say to those who prophesy from their own inspiration, 'Listen to the word of the LORD ! 3 'Thus says the Lord GOD, "Woe to the foolish prophets who are following their own spirit and have seen nothing. 4 "O Israel, your prophets have been like foxes among ruins. 5 "You have not gone up into the breaches, nor did you build the wall around the house of Israel to stand in the battle on the day of the LORD. 6 "They see falsehood and lying divination who are saying, 'The LORD declares,' when the LORD has not sent them; yet they hope for the fulfillment of their word. 7 "Did you not see a false vision and speak a lying divination when you said, 'The LORD declares,' but it is not I who have spoken ?""' 8 Therefore, thus says the Lord GOD, "Because you have spoken falsehood and seen a lie, therefore behold, I am against you," declares the Lord GOD. 9 "So My hand will be against the prophets who see false visions and utter lying divinations. They will have no place in the council of My people, nor will they be written down in the register of the house of Israel, nor will they enter the land of Israel, that you may know that I am the Lord GOD. 10 "It is definitely because they have misled My people by saying, 'Peace !' when there is no peace. And when anyone builds a wall, behold, they plaster it over with whitewash ; 11 so tell those who plaster it over with whitewash, that it will fall. A flooding rain will come, and you, O hailstones , will fall ; and a violent wind will break out. 12 "Behold, when the wall has fallen, will you not be asked, 'Where is the plaster with which you plastered it?"' 13 Therefore, thus says the Lord GOD, "I will make a violent wind break out in My wrath. There will also be in My anger a flooding rain and hailstones to consume it in wrath. 14 "So I will tear down the wall which you plastered over with whitewash and bring it down to the ground, so that its foundation is laid bare ; and when it falls, you will be consumed in its midst. And you will know that I am the LORD. 15 "Thus I will spend My wrath on the wall and on those who have plastered it over with whitewash ; and I will say to you, 'The wall is gone and its plasterers are gone, 16 along with the prophets of Israel who prophesy to Jerusalem, and who see visions of peace for her when there is no peace,' declares the Lord GOD. 17 "Now you, son of man, set your face against the daughters of your people who are prophesying from their own inspiration. Prophesy against them 18 and say, 'Thus says the Lord GOD, "Woe to the women who sew magic bands on all wrists and make veils for the heads of persons of every stature to hunt down lives ! Will you hunt down the lives of My people, but preserve the lives of others for yourselves? 19 "For handfuls of barley and fragments of bread, you have profaned Me to My people to put to death some who should not die and to keep others alive who should not live, by your lying to My people who listen to lies.""' 20 Therefore, thus says the Lord GOD, "Behold, I am against your magic bands by which you hunt lives there as birds and I will tear them from your arms ; and I will let them go, even those lives whom you hunt as birds. 21 "I will also tear off your veils and deliver My people from your hands, and they will no longer be in your hands to be hunted ; and you will know that I am the LORD. 22 "Because you disheartened the righteous with falsehood when I did not cause him grief, but have encouraged the wicked not to turn from his wicked way and preserve his life, 23 therefore, you women will no longer see false visions or practice divination, and I will deliver My people out of your hand. Thus you will know that I am the LORD."

Then in chapter 14 Ezekiel speaks of those elders and leaders who have set up idols in their hearts yet still come to seek God. “Then some elders of Israel came to me and sat down before me. 2 And the word of the LORD came to me, saying, 3 "Son of man, these men have set up their idols in their hearts and have put right before their faces the stumbling block of their iniquity. Should I be consulted by them at all ?”

It goes on to spell out clearly the price prophets pay when they decide to speak with those who, despite knowing they are doing wrong, (for it says “these men have set up their idols in their hearts and have put right before their faces the stumbling block of their iniquity”) still come to the prophet, and you can even say the pastor for they are the representatives of the Living God, and as for a word from God. What is the warning from God to those who represent Him and speak in His name? 10 "They will bear the punishment of their iniquity ; as the iniquity of the inquirer is, so the iniquity of the prophet will be, 11 in order that the house of Israel may no longer stray from Me and no longer defile themselves with all their transgressions. Thus they will be My people, and I shall be their God,"' declares the Lord GOD."

What does this mean? It means that if you allow a person to continue doing wrong, coddle them and refuse to speak God’s mind on the matter, you bear the responsibility and will pay the price for that other persons sin as if it was you doing it. The scriptures are clear in many areas concerning this. It says “let not many of you become teachers, knowing you bear a stricter judgment”. This is found in James chapter 3. How I fear in my heart for the so many who do not take their walk with God seriously, who’s religion is a matter of convenience. The time is coming when we must all answer to God.

I’ll close with this. James goes on to talk about our tongues, how they are full of bitter poison. With our mouths we praise God and talk about all kinds of good religious things, but with the same mouths we put down others, and talk bad about them. For some the idol we have in our hearts and put right before our face, is ourselves, and thus we are blind to what is right in front of us. Here is the final scripture from that same chapter in James Who among you is wise and understanding ? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. 14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. 15 This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. 16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. 17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. 18 And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

Jesus tells us to judge by the fruits of our actions. Do our seeds bring peace and love? Or do they bring discord and strife? We are all to examine ourselves, every day, look to see if there is any evil thing in us so that we can root it out and thus remove those things that cause separation between us and God.

The young man at the Stanton jail asked me if I had a church. Sure I do. You are my church and everyone I can share the love of God with is the church. They are not MY church, for no one owns a church, not the true church of God, for we are all a part of that family, that kingdom that has existed thousands of years, and we all serve the one true God.

Deception

2011-12-07T11:05:00.000-08:00

12/7/11 Wednesday
Talked to the DAR’s lady yesterday and she finally got the report back from the psychologist. My IQ test score is 112, up from the 99 I scored last time. Not up as high as I hoped but any improvement is appreciated. Still a far cry from the genius level my IQ registered at 40 years ago. It’s frustrating for me to be above average on one hand but unable to complete a project or to remember what I need to do on the other. This is the difficulty with traumatic brain injuries, difficult for others in that they can detect intelligence and assume the person is “Just fine” but can’t comprehend why this intelligent person doesn’t perform well. In this world of great judgmentalism, where many prefer to look down on others and find faults instead of even trying to understand, there is little compassion. This Jesus predicted saying that in the last days the love of many will grow cold.

(Mathew 24:6 You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. 7 Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. 8 All these are the beginning of birth pains. 9 "Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. 10 At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, 11 and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. 12 Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, 13 but he who stands firm to the end will be saved. 14 And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.)

How we see this everywhere we turn. There is so much deception that it is glorified in the programs we watch on TV, movies, and amazingly enough even on the advertisements used to sell us products. It is so accepted that most of us don’t even recognize it. Here’s an example, how many of you have heard the advertising campaigns used to convince you to go to Las Vegas? What’s the motto? “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” and the examples used always extol secrecy, where you can go do things that you might not normally do and keep it hidden in the darkness, keep it from view of family or friends. Do you not understand that this promotes living a lie and encourages people to practice living a double life? I lived that kind of life before, and choose now to live a life that has no shame, one I can be proud of without any need to run or hide. I desire to be exposed to the world with no secrets or shame, to live a life my God can be happy with.

We find so many these days being exposed, to their great shame and chagrin. Politicians running for president have their secrets brought out into the light of the world, though some of that could well be purposeful manipulation by their enemies, lies created to hurt and destroy. There have been the recent revelations of famous coaches who turned out to be pedophiles exploiting children. The pastor of a mega church exposed having many homosexual relationships. While it is sad and disconcerting to hear about all of these failures of human dignity the fact is that NONE of us have any secrets before the living God. We will ALL stand before Him in judgment, where all these things will be laid out.

I was talking to Cherie about this as we did our short devotional this morning. We have both been hurt by others, who have not practiced what they professed to believe. “Cherie, when I think about them and what they have done I get sad, not angry. For I know that they must answer to God for their hypocrisy and that can be a terrifying thing.” I explained to her. “So our desire needs to be for them, to love them and pray that when they stand before God they are found approved and lacking nothing”

There is, in the Christian churches, often teachings presented that lead people to think they will be exempt from any judgment or responsibilities for their actions, no accountability. This too was predicted. Paul, in his last days before he was to be put to death for his belief in Jesus, wrote this to Timothy “I solemnly charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by His appearing and His kingdom : preach the word ; be ready in season and out of season ; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine ; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires, and will turn away their ears from the truth and will turn aside to myths.” (2 Timothy 4:1-4)

So, confident that they are exempt from any kind of judgment, many in the church seem eager to judge others, to look down their nose at them, to talk about them and tear others down, and to forget the greatest command of our Lord, who died for all of us. That commandment is to “Love your neighbor as yourself”. The greatest deception is the one where we deceive ourselves, and it is the most dangerous. So I would like to have you read what Jesus, the Son of God who died so that we may have life, says.

"But when the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the angels with Him, then He will sit on His glorious throne. 32 "All the nations will be gathered before Him; and He will separate them from one another, as the shepherd separates the sheep from the goats ; 33 and He will put the sheep on His right, and the goats on the left. 34 "Then the King will say to those on His right, 'Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. 35 'For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat ; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink ; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; 36 naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.' 37 "Then the righteous will answer Him, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink ? 38 'And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? 39 'When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?' 40 "The King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.' 41 "Then He will also say to those on His left, 'Depart from Me, accursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels ; 42 for I was hungry, and you gave Me nothing to eat ; I was thirsty, and you gave Me nothing to drink ; 43 I was a stranger, and you did not invite Me in; naked, and you did not clothe Me; sick, and in prison, and you did not visit Me.' 44 "Then they themselves also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not take care of You?' 45 "Then He will answer them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.' 46 "These will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life."

Do you not yet understand? This is the way our judge, Jesus, sees it. How we treat others, Jesus regards as how we treat HIM!!! So in your conversations and especially in your thoughts, think of others as the representatives of Jesus. “Oh, but this person is trash. He/she is evil doing all kinds of deplorable things” you might say. Really? So tell me, does God love that person? Did Jesus not die for the whole world, all of them, including you? So who are you to judge another? Have you forgotten from where you have been brought from. Hear these words Jesus spoke to the apostle John.
”I know your deeds and your toil and perseverance, and that you cannot tolerate evil men, and you put to the test those who call themselves apostles, and they are not, and you found them to be false ; 3 and you have perseverance and have endured for My name's sake, and have not grown weary. 4 'But I have this against you, that you have left your first love. 5 'Therefore remember from where you have fallen, and repent and do the deeds you did at first ; or else I am coming to you and will remove your lampstand out of its place -unless you repent.”

This is found in Revelation chapter 2 and is a message to the church. It doesn’t matter how many things you do for God, for it is not what you do but why you do it that matters. Understand that I was made alive from death for a purpose, and that purpose is to tell the truth no matter how unpopular it is. Don’t think more highly of yourself than you ought.

Looking for work

2011-12-06T11:39:00.000-08:00

12/6/11 Tuesday
It appears our water system survived the first real hard freeze of the year. It’s 19 degrees out this morning. Tonight will be another test when it goes down to 17 degrees. We did our best to insure Buddy and Duke were safe in this level of cold. Ben and Gretchen used to sleep together to share body heat and I could cover them up at night and they would stay under the covers. Duke and Buddy don’t get along for that. We suspect Duke had been an inside dog before we rescued him from how bad he wants to come inside. He sleeps in the garage, as close to a house as he can get I suppose. Buddy stays out on the veranda. We put the electric blanket out last night, to provide a warm spot, and spread it from the love seat to the landing in front of the door to see if that would attract Duke to stay on it. Nope, he prefers the garage so I’ll work on a winter spot for him there.

I am looking for ministry opportunities as well as some work I can do to pay bills. Investigating getting a CDL license as they are hiring truck drivers everywhere. Hope to find something that allows me to continue my ministry in prisons. Ultimately it’s what we do for God that has real value and that is where my heart is. Most of you know I have a powerful testimony and I am anxious to share what God has done in our lives. If any of you hear of something or can point me in a good direction it would be appreciated.

Snow

2011-12-05T07:39:00.001-08:00

12/5/11 Monday
It’s a rare thing out here. I’m talking about snow, or any kind of moisture for that matter. We had rain two days ago and over three inches of snow last night. We went to the widow’s house yesterday afternoon, where I did a variety of chores and installed the insulating cups we bought for her outside water faucets. But mostly Geneva craved the company, someone to talk with and share the things going on in her life. It was good for Cherie too as she had someone to share with other than me. We all sat together after I got done with the various chores and talked about God and spiritual things. But knowing it would freeze last night I called it an evening and said we had to go. So we prayed together, as we always do when we visit, and I hurried home.

The urgency was because I knew I needed to insure the work I had done with the booster pump was protected from freezing. One good freeze and all that work would be erased with broken plastic pipes spewing water all over the place. We found an old electric space heater that I put in the pit we dug, then I covered it over with old pieces of plywood and a tarp. Held the tarp down with a bunch of cinder blocks to insure it didn’t go anywhere.

That evidently worked because we had running water this morning. I went out to take pictures and also to see if the old rotted pieces of plywood held up to the weight of the snow. It all seems to still be in place. Today I will focus more time on fixing that up. Eventually I plan on building a cinderblock building to cover and protect all of that but for now I must devise a better temporary solution. There are some serious cold days coming, like tomorrow, when it gets down to 20 degrees or so. That little space heater will send our electric bill up there and things are tight as it is.

I hope to find some work driving a truck. Am studying for the written part of the CDL exam but I need to find a semi to use for the driving part of the test. Meantime there is plenty to do here. I have windows to calk now that I found two new tubes of caulk I’d forgotten I had purchased. And I still need to tile the bathroom but that is a major project that will require the removal of the toilet while I tile that area, along with the bathroom sink.

I must go brush off and warm up Cherie’s truck so will be back.

That took a while. Brought back memories of living in Michigan and Ohio. I like the snow, but I don’t. It’s beautiful and not convenient at all. There were some 4000 reports of power outages in the area, mostly caused by the weight of snow breaking branches of trees that fell on power lines. Plus there are reports of car wrecks this morning. Most of the schools are closed today as this area is not equipped for snow. The weather report says that the snow will turn to rain later in the day. That will be a mess. I sure wish I had a way to collect all this moisture for the dry times to come.

No water this morning

2011-12-04T07:26:00.000-08:00

Last nights sunset

12/4/11 Sunday
Sunday morning. It’s chilly and we don’t have any water. I will fill up a bucket from the plastic children’s pool outside, that we always leave full for the dogs to drink out of, so we can use it to flush the toilet. As soon as I am done writing this I will return to working on the booster pump. I think I will take Cherie’s hair dryer out with me because the glues may be temperature sensitive. Perhaps that’s why it blew apart last night, for it was definitely getting cold. Plus, in my haste to be done, I didn’t wait as long as I should have to let the glue set. And there is the possibility that I forgot to put glue on the joint that came apart.

We listened to Charles Stanley this morning. For now our church is on television. We don’t have the money to drive into town more than necessary so visiting the churches in Midland will be put off till things get better. It’s sad we have found such a judgmental spirit at the church in Stanton. From what I hear this is not an uncommon problem in many churches here in America. How our Lord’s heart must break as His commandment to love your neighbor as yourself is ignored every time it becomes inconvenient. But it’s not a new problem, has been around as long as man. It was the religious leaders, the preachers, teachers, and pastors, if you will, who, in their arrogance and self-righteous assurance they were pleasing God, persecuted and conspired to kill Jesus. After Jesus was crucified the persecution was next focused on all those who believed in and followed Jesus. One of the greatest persecutors, Saul, was confident he was doing the work of God as he traveled finding Christians, putting them in jail, and watching in approval as others stoned them to death. But he had an encounter with Jesus on the road to Damascus, and understanding his error repented and became one of the greatest proponents of Jesus that ever lived, changing his name to Paul.

So you, who think poorly of your fellow brother or sister in Christ, gather hope from this. For God is always there to forgive you of this grave sin and help you change your mind as soon as you understand how evil it is to despise those whom God loves.

I've got a well to fix so must resist the urge to do a short bible study or devotional. Bye now.
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Here is the finished booster pump arrangements. The pipes seem to be holding now but there are several small pinhole leaks. I suspect they are due to the glue not working well in the cold weather. The red plastic coffee container I used to provide some protection for the power plug. We can't afford to buy a regular waterproof electrical socket so do the best we can with what we have. When weather gets warm and budget allows I will probably redo the entire thing, re-gluing all those joints. Everything you see is subject to freezing, and that will be a major problem. I plan on building a shed around it with the cinder blocks I recovered from an old hotel that was torn down. Now I wish I had gotten more of those bricks for they all got hauled away. So I will learn a new skill, having never done any brickwork before. But till then I guess I'll have to cover this all with blankets and hope it doesn't freeze and break the pipes. If we had the money I would buy the pipe heating stuff I saw at Lowes that allows you to wrap the pipes and plug it in to keep them from freezing. Maybe a small space heater and some plywood over the top would work for now.

Looked at the whole booster pump array in the daylight. Could only find one area where the joint gave way. It does not appear that I forgot to put glue on the joint but if I did it wasn’t a whole lot. I got Cherie’s hair dryer and heated everything up the best I could in 36 degrees and glued it back together. This time I heated it after gluing for fifteen or so minutes to do my best to insure it held. Read the instructions again just to make sure and it says to leave the joint set for two hours to allow the glue to set, and longer if it’s under 60 degrees outside. I didn’t let it set last night in my haste and tiredness so that’s probably the problem. Will see at 11:30 when I run down to the well and turn it on.

The internet says our high today will only be in the 40’s so I started a fire. Tomorrow the real cold hits with a low down in the 20’s. We dug the electric blanket out for the dogs but Duke and Buddy don’t sleep near each other. Duke sleeps in the garage and Buddy stays out on the veranda. I think I will clean out the insulated dog house I made for Gretchen and Ben a year or two ago, when Gretchen had her puppies. How I miss those dogs. The hurt is still there, along with wondering who shot them and why. Was it random or something personal from someone who is busy with the hate that consumes so many. I don’t know but still pray for them, and continually forgive every time it rises up in my mind again.

Christmas is coming. This is one of my least favorite times of the year as the insanity and fervor for what has become a false holiday increases. It has become the one time of year many businesses depend on for survival as the battle to buy presents rages on. There is nothing wrong with giving gifts but now, if you don’t, you are looked on as a scrooge. So many these days expect to receive and get angry if they don’t. Depression and suicide are at an all time high during this season as many struggle to deal with all the pressures that our society and culture have forced on us. At the root of it is greed. There is corporate greed as businesses strive to strip us of as much money as possible, competing with each other for every dollar we have been so carefully instructed to spend. Then there is the greed we breed into our children as the day after Christmas it becomes a “What did you get” contest.

Lost in this mix is the tale that this is the day that Jesus was born. The fact that the early church, under Constantine and his mixing of pagan beliefs with Christianity, chose this day to replace several existing pagan holidays that revolved around the shortest day of the year is lost on most. The fact is no one knows for sure what day Jesus was born, but historical evidence points more to in the fall than Christmas, based on when the census was that forced Joseph and Mary to travel to Bethlehem and the Jewish feasts. There is strong evidence that Jesus was born during the feast of Passover which would place the time somewhere in the middle of April. Personally I think it not bad to pick a day to celebrate the birth of the son of God, that it is good to recognize and celebrate His birth regardless of what day it was. But the Christmas tree and giving of gifts are directly related to the religion that came out of Babylon when Nimrod’s mother, who was also his wife, instituted that practice. Like it or not this is historical fact.

So I will celebrate the birth of Jesus, every day. And not just His birth but His death and resurrection too. For it is in this that I have a hope of eternal life. I explained this to the young man in Jail. We have all heard (or most of us) the scripture found in John, 3:16 16 “For God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life”. I spent a lot of time with the young man explaining what it really means to believe. Lots of people believe, or say they believe, in God, but do you really believe that you will stand before God and be judged for what you do? To truly believe means you understand God is God and Lord and thus you submit to His authority, obeying what He says to do. Most people are not willing to surrender what they want, to make a sacrifice of personal pleasure, to obey God. Instead they try to put God in a box that allows them to do what they want without fear but in the end God is God and we will have to answer. Do you really believe? I know I get preachy but I hold an answer to many peoples problems, an answer I have learned is real and works, I know how to live forever and enjoy God's blessings here in this life as well. When you have a life saver in your hands and are watching someone drown to not throw them the life saver and even try to save them is a crime. And God will hold us accountable for that for sure.

Not as good as I used to be

2011-12-03T19:24:00.000-08:00

12/3/11 Saturday
I focused on finishing up the well today. It was a greater struggle than I expected. I thought I had all the pieces of PVC cut and trial fitted so that when it came time to turn off the well so I could cut into the pipes things would go smoothly. Such was the hope but that was shattered by a strong dose of reality.

I hate reminders that I am not as smart as I used to be and today those reminders were slapping me in the face. I’ve come a long way since I woke from that coma but still face some difficulties. I looked at a piece of pipe as I prepared to glue it in place and wondered why I had cut it so long. So I cut it shorter and glued it in place. It was maybe twenty minutes later I realized it had been cut correctly. I confused the intake with the outtake parts of the pump and that was just a start. Five hours later I am finding joints I forgot to glue and came up with some creative ways to compensate for mistakes I made earlier.

It’s dark now so I got flashlights out so I can see what I am doing. My pain level is way up there from crawling in and out of the pit I dug in addition to carrying the pump itself to the garage five or six times to modify the mounts in order to make the pipes line up. Finally I think I am done so have Cherie come out and keep an eye on it while I drove the half mile to the well and turn it on. Unfortunately my phone had run out of juice unbeknownst to me earlier in the day so she couldn’t’ call like I had asked.

Coming back to the house I discover there were just a few small leaks from poor glue jobs but I figured I could live with that for now and would fix that later. But then a pipe let loose. Nuts. So I rushed back to the well and turned it off. Coming home I find Cherie screaming at Buddy and Duke, who were viciously fighting. I tore them apart. It’s not the first time they have gotten into it. In fact they had fought just the day before and I got bit when I reached in with my hand to pull them apart. Not good. Looks like we will have to find another home for Buddy. He is absolutely the friendliest dog I have ever known, but he doesn’t get along with other dogs well.

I am beat. Worked on the well all day long. But tonight we have no water at all. While we did have the booster pump running I had Cherie turn on the water in the bathroom. It was a little better but still just a trickle coming out of the shower. This tells me that the new pipes installed are plugged up. Probably with the shredded plastic I have found in the filters of the farm irrigation system along with salt and hard water deposits. It looks like I must replace the pipes in the new bathroom already. What was installed are small diameter flexible hose things that screw into place. The new fixtures were set up to use those or to use conventional copper or PVC pipe and the plumber our friends hired to do the job opted for the easier flexible pipe stuff. I don’t think it would have mattered as that shredded plastic would have lodged where the valves and stuff are. Oh well.

Cold blew in

2011-12-02T09:00:00.000-08:00

12/2/11 Friday
I finally got the concrete slab poured. Took three loads with this concrete mixer I bought a few years back, knowing I would have many uses for it on this farm. I’ve used it to mix seeds, soils, fertilizers, but this is the first time I used it for concrete. I have a poor eye for volumes so was surprised at how small an amount of concrete it made after it was poured out onto the ground. I took the pump and set in on the wet concrete to make marks where the bolts that hold it down go. Then I pushed the bolts into the wet concrete. I hope that the bolts are in the right place when the concrete dries.

Cold weather blew in hard last night. Got the woodburner going and because the high for today will only be 40 degrees will keep it burning all day long. There is moisture outside. Not rain so much as a drizzle. I hope to finish the booster pump today. Had a bad slow down last night. Don’t remember having many of those lately but Cherie reminded me that I have had a few. She reminded me I need to take a bath too. I take great consolation in learning that Albert Einstein and Steve Jobs of Apple fame also had to be reminded to bath. I simply don’t think about it and don’t remember when I last took a bath. If I took one yesterday I won’t remember. I don’t remember to eat and if I do don’t remember that either. When it comes to taking my medication that can be an issue. If I don’t remember taking my pain pill so take another one it can be dangerous. To combat that I make notes of when I take a pill or tell Cherie when she is home.

It will be a cold work day, but that’s what coats are for.
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Hard to believe it is already noon. Certainly cold out. Just came in to warm my hands and put a few more logs on the fire. Step by slow step I am progressing on the booster pump. The bolts I placed in the wet concrete were close but not quite close enough so I spent an hour using a chain saw file to alter the holes in the pump base so it would fit. As usual I lacked the proper tools so had to do the best I could with what I have. So the pump is in place. Next I will piece together all the PVC pipe fittings needed to insure I have everything cut to the proper size and ready to glue together. That requires putting the one way valve first, then running pipe to the pump intake. The one way valve will prevent water from flowing backwards. Then I must connect the pumps outtake to the pipe that leads to the house and also out to the farm irrigation system. That will require some manipulation. Also I need to hook up the 55 gallon pressure tank to that same pipe. Plus I need to hook up the electrical wiring to the breaker box. Part of that task requires me to nail the wiring I ran onto the rafters and wall of the garage for it’s all just hanging loose right now.
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I went to the jail to visit the young man who made the decision to become a follower of Jesus. He was glad to see me for sure. I talked to him of the seriousness of the decision he made and read the parable of the sower so that he could hear what Jesus said regarding those who hear the words about God’s love. When I said something about how people talk about others he started crying for there is no question that there is lots of talk about him. I explained what the Love of God is and isn’t, going through first Corinthians 13 to make clear the importance of the motives behind what you do. It says that even if you give all your possessions to the poor but do not have Love it means nothing. There are many we know who mouth the words but who’s actions reveal the truth of what they believe. It’s a simple basic fact that if you reject someone, refuse to talk with them, and instead talk about them to turn others against them, you don’t love them. And when you do that but then say you are a Christian and love everyone you are a liar and total hypocrite.

The young man asked me if I had a church. I told him that he was my church, that the true church isn’t buildings but consists of the people who love God and are practicing the truths He gave us through the bible. I said “My church is in prisons and jails, it is where ever I go. Anyone I touch and share the things of God with is my church”. And so it is and has always been. The Kingdom of God that Jesus spoke of is not a place, nor can it ever be. It is a spiritual condition, an attitude of the soul, a unity of hearts bound together by the Love of God that spans generations and is not constrained by time or physical borders. The Kingdom of God has always been, but we have gained entrance to it through our faith in Jesus and because He has revealed the keys to us. I told the young man that I may start a bible study here in Stanton soon and the church would be there as well.

We prayed, he thanked me for coming. I am tired now. Didn’t get the booster pump all the way installed yer but am close. Hopefully that will get completed tomorrow before we go visit the widow and help her winterize her home.

The first day of December

2011-12-01T08:53:00.000-08:00

There are storms coming, storms that will rock the world and cause many's hearts to fail them for fear

12/1/11 Thursday
First day in December, the last month of the year. Time moves so fast but plans and dreams seem to still move at slow motion. I’m desperately working on the booster pump for the well project, making lots of mistakes because I don’t really know what I am doing and there is no one I feel comfortable seeking advice from. I’ve asked some for help but when I do it seems that they become distant. One enthusiastically told me he would come out to the farm and look around, even offered to bring equipment to help dig out the well from the wall of sand that has overtaken it. I saw him a few times since and tried to gently remind him, but still got positive “I’ll be out there” words but no actions at all. If asking for help estranges friends then I won’t ask for help.

There are some who have been wonderful in their assistance but I know that can get strained. I don’t want to be the person always asking for help. It is such an awkward position to be in. But then I must wrestle with the truths of our faith I believe in. The bible is pretty clear regarding these things, that we who believe, the family of God, are to look out for our brothers and sisters, and always be not just ready but anxious to help, to show that true love which is illustrated by actions, not words. As a preacher of the good news of God, and a teacher who has the responsibility to encourage others to follow the truths of the bible I find myself torn. For I know that some will not willingly receive a message that they are falling short, and will resent what they will interpret as a judgmental attitude. Then there is the concern that my words would be seen as an attempt to manipulate others for my personal gain, and thus find my reputation damaged. I’m not sure what my “reputation” is in many circles as it is, but I know that in some there has been plenty of talk and gossip and in those arenas I am not well thought of.

I cannot let that bother me. However I know that what others think of me reflects on my Lord Jesus Christ and for His sake I will be concerned. So I will live my life to please God and try to walk with care concerning my words and actions. We have seen so much hypocrisy it astounds us, and have also seen how that keeps others from coming to God. For the rest of the world sees it too, and rejects God because of it. It is the core value that seems to be missing or compromised. What value is that? Love. “Oh we love!!!” I can hear some protesting but the reality of their actions reveals the truth. What you really believe is shown by what you do, and true love compels action, not just talk. I am so tired of empty words, of those who talk but not much more. Love is patient, Love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast. Love is not proud, it is not rude. True love doesn’t seek selfish desires but puts the needs of others before personal wants. Real love is not easily angered but keeps no record of wrongs done. Of course it doesn’t delight in evil, in putting down those who have made mistakes. Love rejoices in the truth. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes for good to come, and perseveres in the face of adversity and doubt. Jesus only gave two commandments. Love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength is the first. The second is harder. That is to love your neighbor as yourself.

When you see someone close to you, a family member such as your mother, brother, or wife, in need of help what do you do? Most of us will take time out of our day, sacrifice that which is most valuable, our time, and do whatever it takes to resolve that issue. That is most of us. These days I see the bible prophesy, that in the last days the love of many will grow cold, coming true in so many ways. Love has become a thing of convenience for so many, and an empty concept with no teeth for others. How we remember our former friends, who would always make a point of ending a visit with the words “You know we love you guys”, but who proved themselves liars and hypocrites later. Because I do love them and have great concern for their well-being, I pray for them constantly, for they will answer to God, as we all must. I so want that final time of judgment for them to be one with no faults found. But they seem blind to the truth and have placed God into the box they want Him to fit in, a box that allows them to practice the fleshly pleasures they enjoy without fear of any accountability.

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. (1 Corinthians 13)

If the church, those who are believers in and followers of Jesus Christ and the only true God, who created the universe and gives life, would practice this true love, it would change the world. Part of this love requires us to make others more important than ourselves, and demands humility along with sacrifice. There is no room for judgment here, for looking down at others and thinking you are better than them. That in itself is a sin, and a bad one. If someone is trapped in problems, whatever they may be, love requires us to work to help them get better, to throw them a life raft so to speak, to lift them up and not tear them down. This is what our God longs to see in us, for this is how the kingdom of God will grow. God so loved us He sent His only son to die for us, so that we may live and not die, so that we may be set free from all that enslaved us. And Jesus said that we are to follow His example. This is the core, the foundation and bedrock of our faith, the first love that so many have left behind as they pursue religion and the accolades of others around them, and in the process forget that they too were brought out of the mud and washed clean by God, because of His love.

I will mix up some more concrete this morning and try to get it right this time. What I did yesterday didn’t turn out the way I wanted so I hope to do better this time. Then comes the plumbing part. That’s where it gets scary for me because once I cut those pipes coming from the well I must get it right. If I don’t we have no water for the house or anywhere else.

There is much else on my list of things to do but on top of that is visiting the jail. I helped lead a young man there to make the commitment to accept Jesus as his Lord and savior so with that comes a great responsibility. Jesus said we are to go out and make disciples of others, not just to “Get them saved” as so many preaches seem to think. The world is filled with people who “Got saved”, or who had an emotional experience brought on by skillful oratory coupled with music and other psychological pressures to make a “decision”, but were then left alone as the preachers proudly made more notches in their records so they could brag about what great things they had done. This is so wrong. I need to spend some time with this young man, to teach him the things of God so that he can understand what he has done as well as comprehend what lays ahead for him. Oh, I’ve got things to do, but nothing more important than a life hanging in the balance, so I must choose correctly.

the journey to Toledo and back

2011-12-01T07:11:00.000-08:00

I realized that in the fuss of catching up after we made it home I had failed to post the journal entry regarding what happened in Toledo. This is by no means complete, for I'm sure you don't want to read a book and some things that happened we will keep to ourselves. Read here then the joys and sadness we found when we went back to where we are from.

11/2/11 Wednesday
Wednesday morning in Toledo Ohio. There is much to write and I haven’t because we are busy here and because I don’t want to publish on the internet the fact that no one is at home back in Texas. But I do need to keep a journal of what we do here. This morning Cherie and I are going to meet Suzie, the daughter of Eileen, my former secretary who died three years ago under suspicious circumstances. We do our best to keep up with Suzie and others of Eileen’s family and help when we can. Right now Suzie’s husband/boyfriend is in prison but should be released in a month. He was sent to prison for punching the father of Suzie’s son’s girlfriend and possibly breaking his jaw. Stupid stuff to go to prison for and because Calvin has an extensive criminal history there was no mercy from the court.

So many of the people I know, or knew, back in Toledo are trapped in lifestyles of their choosing. Perhaps it would be wrong to say they chose the lives they live for most of them were raised in that type of life, that world of drugs, crime, and a different set of moral principle, which is foreign to many of us.
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11/13/11 Sunday
We are finally home. Arrived at about 5 yesterday afternoon. What a trip this has been, a trip filled with sadness and joy, good things and bad. This promises to be a long post so I will start at the beginning. This journey became possible when I sold the big diesel service truck we had purchased about 3 years ago at auction in Michigan. I paid $3,000 for the truck then, bought it in order to bring the John Deere tractor we also bought at auction back to Texas. We sold the truck for $6900, much less than the nine thousand dollar listed value but there were bills to pay. Besides the truck was pretty rusty and they are not used to rust here in Texas.

We had been trying to sell the truck for over a year with little success but I leave much of that in the hands of the Lord and trust His timing for such things. The timing was right. Cherie had been increasingly homesick, caring for and missing her family that lived so far away. I have been needing to fix my truck as the transmission had finally gone so we were down to one vehicle and knew I could get a used transmission for a cheap price up in Ohio. Besides that the truck was more than worn out, with windows that no longer rolled up and down and the air conditioner had not worked for over a year. It has nearly a quarter million miles on it, the motor still runs well, but it’s about done and needed to be replaced. What I knew was that I could find deals at auctions up in the Midwest so now that we had some cash after paying bills this seemed like an ideal time to get a new used truck.

Cherie was checking prices of airline tickets and ran into a deal where we both could fly to Columbus, where her sister lives, for only $370.00. When she told me about that price my response was “You’d better book them now”. She did and the next day that price was gone so it was a good thing. The timing on the tickets would play things close in regard to our attending the 4 day Kairos prison ministry event in Fort Stockton but I figured we could be back with time to spare. That part didn’t work out as planned, nor did several other aspects of the trip but all in all we were blessed.

So we made plans, called relatives, made reservations, and booked a rental car for the week we planned on being there. With any such ventures there are concerns, fears, and trepidations to be allayed and dealt with. We let the sheriff know we would be gone so they could keep an eye on the house. One of the concerns was our pets. It is so sad that we had no one local we could rely on, or even ask, to check on things. What a disgrace and shame it is that we attended a church for a year and yet there is no one there we dared to ask for such a favor. The hallmark of our faith, the core principle of Christianity is Love, love for God and love for each other, yet we found rejection instead. Gossip and judgment instead of acceptance and building each other up in the faith, pitching in to help one another. How Jesus must be hanging His head as He watches those who proudly do such things, confident in their self-righteousness as they do the opposite of what He desires.

With money tight and always budget conscious we decided to board Rascal and Trixie in a kennel and put out a load of food for the outside dogs, Buddy and Duke. We also put out a ton of food for the cats and kept the water dripping in a little plastic pitcher left in the bathroom sink. It all should be enough for the eight days we figured we would be gone. Unfortunately that turned out to be fifteen days, but at least it wasn’t a disaster. It just brings out the sadness regarding the coldness and distance we found so close to home. May God have mercy on them for they seem to be totally unaware of their hypocrisy. I have to wonder, do some of these people really believe in God? Because if you REALLY believed you would know He knows your inner thoughts and what you say behind closed doors. But I realize that the god many believe in is the one they have in a little box, one that lets them do what they want with no fear of repercussions. This is nothing new, people have been molding god to the image they want for all of time, refusing to be clay in the Masters hand, pliable and able to be molded into what He desires.

The flight to Ohio took four flights and ten hours to get to Columbus. Such is the price of cheap tickets. We flew light, having no desire to check our bags so it was just enough to carry our bags with us. First flight was Midland to Dallas and that one was running late by about a half hour. Arriving at Dallas we rushed to get to the next plane on the list. It too was late so we weren’t in bad shape. Next stop was Houston. There was a young man on board the Midland to Dallas flight who was from San Diego. He had come to Midland to work in the oil fields, as so many are doing during these tough financial times. Poor kid had never flown and was filled with fear, noticeable to me despite his attempts to hide it. “First time flying?” I asked, desiring to give him some reassurance. He said “yes” so I explained that statistically flying was safer than driving a car and said I had flown many times. Not sure that helped so I told him, after noticing him holding the cross he wore around his neck, that God would take care of us.

Houston was a bit traumatic. Plane was late landing, had to wait for a spot to park, and we got off fifteen minutes after our connecting flight was supposed to have left. It’s panic time. We run to the first bank of screens showing what flights where were and when they were supposed to leave, and our plane is not showing up anywhere. I rush to a Southwest flight desk and ask the lady “Where is our flight?”. She tells me to get to the back of the line just as I hear “Robert and Cherie Westbrook, please report to gate 40 for your flight”. “Where’s gate 40?” I ask the lady behind the counter, who really doesn’t care and ignores me. Someone else points so Cherie and I run that direction, pulling our bags behind us, thankful they are on wheels.

We make it to gate 40, huffing and puffing because neither one of us is in great shape. There is no one there, the door is closed and locked, and I see a plane with the walkway still attached sitting out on the tarmac. Now I’m in URGENT mode so I stroll out to the middle of the concourse and YELL “Can anyone help us? That’s our plane and the door is locked!”. There is a stunned silence as no one moves, seemingly shocked that anyone would yell in an airport. One lady across the way moves forward and says “Once the door is locked that’s it.” I strode quickly to her counter, because at least she recognized our existence, and just as we got there we heard our names once again on the intercom. This time they tell us to go to a different gate, and that our flight is waiting for us. More huffing and puffing as we scramble to get there. We are officially the last people to board the plane. Evidently someone had announced the wrong gate before.

The stewardess asked a young man to move to a different seat so that Cherie and I could sit together. That was thoughtful of her. Gratefully we sat down and prepared to take off. It took a bit for me to settle down, and some time for Cherie too but we did and realized that they had held up the flight in order for us to get there. Now we are off to St Louise, where we will catch our last flight, that will take us to Columbus. In Columbus Cherie’s youngest sister will pick us up and we get to spend the night at their house.

There was a sweet little old lady in the window seat where Cherie and I were seated. She talked with Cherie for much of the flight, sharing about what was going on in her life. When we were arriving at Columbus I asked if I could pray for her and a relative who has brain cancer, and she gratefully said “yes”. There are times when I feel a need to pray for people and situations and this was one of them. She gave Cherie a book she had just read, dug it out of a bag filled with books.

We were so happy to finally make it to Ohio, and grateful to find Connie, Cherie’s sister, waiting for us when we got off the plane. It was hugs and greetings time and then a trip through the maze that Columbus airport has turned into, in order to find Connie’s car. Connie got us to her home as quick as she could. We were greeted by her husband and son, who has grown dramatically since the last time we saw him. There was the visiting that comes with long absences of course but I was beat and retired early, letting Connie and Cherie catch up as they cooked stuff.

The next day we all left for Toledo, for it had been decided that this was a good time for all the family to get together and have a thanksgiving dinner early. A room was rented at an area hotel so that there was room for everyone. After checking into our hotel room we went to where the dinner was to be held. There was greetings, hugs, tears, and all the other things that go with long absences between family members. Food and people were hustled in, hasty arrangements for how it was to be distributed, and then we sat down to eat. There was lots of catching up to do of course. Much of the families knowledge of our life came from this blog and occasional phone conversations so there were lots of holes to fill in.

It was a good time and we are grateful we were able to get there. We were both glad to make it back to our hotel room, where we settled down and began to plan the busy days ahead of us. Part of those plans involve me finding and visiting old friends and those whom I try to help the best I can. I tried to visit the parents of my old Vietnam veteran friend, Bernie, who died of cancer last year. Unfortunately they had moved into an assisted living center in Michigan and I was unable to find the address before we had to head back to Texas.

Other friends I found, and with them saw again the depression and loss that comes with drugs and a life without God. It broke my heart to watch the 16 year old daughter of one proudly announce she was pregnant as she smoked pot. I felt helpless to help as this is the world she grew up in. Her grandmother, father and pretty much entire family all were and are habitual drug users or alcoholics. It made me grateful I had left that world behind and those things no longer had a hold on my life, but at the same time there is great sadness knowing these lives are so lost. And a sense of responsibility, knowing that I hold a key that can set them free. My other friend has pretty much lost his life, to the painful injuries he sustained from several events, and to the drugs that help his pain but also became an addiction. For him it is a trap with no easy answers. On top of that are multiple traumatic brain injuries, undiagnosed but obvious to me because of personal experience and consequential studies I’ve done. Again I feel powerless to help, a frustrating thing. There are so many lives we see, lives trapped by the consequences of decisions made long ago and locked into a path that leads to pain and despair. But there is nothing we can say, for if we say anything it would be perceived as an attack or put down. So all we can do is pray and hope, all the while knowing that without change there are hard consequences ahead for them. Bleak futures reaped from bad seeds sown long ago. There is hope and life available through faith in Jesus, but so many won’t accept that.

I went to the first auction in Michigan, and was disappointed at what I saw. Prices were much higher than I had seen in auctions 3 years ago, but I wasn’t worried, there were other auctions to come. I learned from my nephew and sister in law that one of the online auctions I had enrolled in was not ethical at all, with all kinds of hidden fees and tricks being used, so I threw that out the window.

After we had been there a week there was still no truck to be bought and time was getting short. We had planned to be on the road Monday in order to get back to Texas in time for the Kairos prison ministry so pressure was on. The last big auction was in Illinois, almost at the Wisconsin border. Nate and I hopped in his big car carrier, the kind that has a deck that rolls back and angles to the ground so you can pull a vehicle up with the winch, and made the seven and a half hour drive to the auction.

Here I was confident I could find one, and maybe even two, trucks. If the prices were right I would get one for personal use and another to bring back to Texas and sell. With something like 300 vehicles in the auction I figured it would be no problem. They had them lined up with newer years first and older models at the end of the line. The first trucks were smaller Ford rangers. I wanted a full size pick up so didn’t bid despite the prices being attractive. I figured that as the auction proceeded to older more beat up trucks the prices would come down, but I was in for a surprise. I guess a lot of others at the auction had the same idea for as the auction progressed the prices kept getting higher and higher. In hindsight there were many good deals I could have gotten but was hanging on for a steal that didn’t happen. In the end we got nothing and had a long drive back empty handed. It was a long drive because we had left at two in the morning to make it there, so were definitely tired. I am grateful to my nephew for his sacrifice to help us out.

Now we are under the gun. We had bought one way tickets so had no way home except by driving the truck we came to buy, and there was no truck. The whole time we were there Cherie would hit Craigslist online and I had called about many of the trucks we found there. One of the better looking ones was also an older one. It was a 1994 Chevy 2500 diesel with only 190,000 miles on it. He had it listed at $3400 dollars but when I called he dropped the price to $1600 because they had bills to pay. This truck was 130 miles away in Indiana but for that price I told him I would make the drive. We did and it was a nice truck, other than the rust that plagues everything up north, where the salt the roads heavily to fight snow and ice. It had belonged to his grandfather and the interior was in great shape.

Sold. We now have a way home and I now have a truck that runs. I had hoped to get a rebuilt or used transmission for my other truck, so that we could sell it, but that didn’t work out. The friend of Nate, who rebuilds transmissions for a living, said he could ship one to us, but I don’t think I would bet the farm on that. He’s a great guy who has improved his life in many ways since we saw him last, but in the busy day to day struggle of life in Toledo best intentions often get placed aside. If it happens we will be blessed, and pleasantly surprised, but I suspect that the red truck will stay up on jack stands for a while, waiting for the parts or me to have the finances needed to fix it.

It’s time to say goodbye and hit the road. There were some last minute repairs on the new/used truck that had to be made. I detected a knocking sound that we determined to be the vacuum pump. Should that go it would cause the serpentine belt that drives everything to go too so had to be replaced. There were other things I wanted to check, like brakes, but no time and money getting short so didn’t.

Getting out of Toledo always seems hard. Last minute problems abound, people to say goodbye to have to be found, but we finally made it out. It was late but I was determined to hit the road and at least get out of Toledo. We had extended out hotel stay three times already and were checked out. We didn’t make it out of Ohio, got as far as just the other side of Dayton, but were glad to get that far.

Things were uneventful till we got to Missouri. I was pressing as far as I could each day, driving until tiredness got bad and then pulling into a hotel. We would sleep fitfully in uncomfortable beds till 4:00 or 5:00 in the morning and hit the road again. Had almost made it to Joplin Missouri, where we were going to stop for the night, when it happened. BAM!!! I heard and felt an impact. It was maybe nine at night, long dark, and lots of traffic on the road. I’m wide awake now for sure. Pulling to the side of the road I get out carefully in the heavy traffic to look and see what happened. Didn’t really see anything and all the tires looked good so, worried about the traffic and safety I got back in the truck and headed for the first exit, where I could more carefully examine the truck.

I had just noticed a sign that said if there was an emergency to dial a two digit number and then the pound sign so as soon as I found a place to park I did so. Cherie had seen a flash of white just before the impact but I had seen nothing at all so I wasn’t sure what to report, just that we had hit something, and it was big. We had lost count of the dead deer we saw on the road long before this so I knew that was a possibility. The operator got our location and said a trooper would be dispatched.

I got out and looked at the truck. We had bought a set of tools for the trip home but didn’t think to get a flashlight. Sure would have been nice now. There was some damage to the driver’s side lights, with the turn signal light fixture just hanging by the wires. But the real damage was the whole drivers side of the truck. That was caved in from behind the door to just before the rear wheel. My nice new/used truck wasn’t as pretty as it was, but it really wasn’t pretty to start with due to the big rust holes in the body.

As we waited for the trooper we heard sirens and saw fire trucks and ambulances heading down the other side of the highway, back the way we came. Soon the state trooper showed up. He wasn’t happy we had driven to the next exit, said it was leaving the scene of an accident. The truck had no plates on it at all because Indiana law states one has the right to drive without plates for thirty days after the purchase of a vehicle and when we went to Ohio’s bureau of motor vehicles to get temporary transfer tags they refused because the truck was bought out of state. This raised the troopers eyebrows but he understood and had run into the mess caused by so many states having different laws. We didn’t have proof of insurance because when Cherie called our insurance agent their computer was down, so we had insurance coverage but were unable to get a copy printed fifteen hundred miles away. The officer was nice about that. Technically he said he was supposed to write a citation for that but wouldn’t. I expressed our gratitude. He got our information and had to go because there were wrecks at the mile marker we had our problem at. Later he called and told us it was a deer, probably the same one we hit, that had caused the other accidents. Evidently our impact didn’t kill it and it wandered dazed to the other side of the interstate, where other vehicles finished it off.

All in all we were blessed. “How is that a blessing?” you might ask. We were inches away from hitting that deer head on and it could easily have come through our windshield, so I will look at it that way. It could have been much worse, and others did get hurt along with suffering much worse damage, so I choose to believe that God protected us and look at the good side of it.

We stopped at the first decent looking cheap hotel we saw and gratefully crashed. Woke up long before the sun and got going again. When it got daylight I pulled over to see the damage to the truck for the first time in the light. It actually didn’t look as bad in the light as it did at night, but still was a pretty big dent. Fortunately we could open the door to the fuel tank and had room to screw open the cap.

So we filled up with diesel and checked the fuel mileage again. There has been a disappointing steady reduction in how many miles the new/used truck gets. The day we bought it that truck got 21 miles per gallon of fuel. We filled up every 300 miles and each time it was less till the last tank, which was only 14 miles per gallon. I hope to figure out why and also hope the solution isn’t expensive.

What am I thankful for???

2011-11-27T11:32:00.000-08:00

I carved this in St Louise, while recovering from being dead

11/26/11 Saturday
Thanksgiving is over. When I visited the guys in the local jail, they asked what I was going to do for thanksgiving. “Nothing” I told them and seeing their stunned response explained “All of my wife’s family lives far away. I am not close with any of my family and none of them live close either”. I told them that it was just me and my wife for holidays and that we are thankful for every day we have. There were some new people in the jail so I shared again the miracle of my life, how I had lived a life fraught with drugs and crime, had died in the accident, and how God, in His love, had restored my mind, faith, marriage, and life. I explained that I now know there is a real and living God, who loves not only me but all of them too. At the end I asked what they would like prayer for. I prayed for their families and for one of them that he would find favor with the judge. I didn’t talk of the disappointments we had experienced with the church people who lived close, to whom we had reached out to, hoping for fellowship and to share the love of Christ with, for that would not help build them up. Instead it would reinforce the feeling so many outside of the churches have regarding the hypocrisy of those who call themselves religious, but only have an outward show with no inner true care, concern, or love. They are springs without water, vines without fruit, empty and in danger of facing a fearful judgment when they stand before the living God, who will call us all to account for what we did and did not do while here on the earth.

What am I thankful for? I watched the ABC special on Gabriel Gifford, the senator from Arizona who had been shot in the head. They showed early clips of her rehabilitation, as they taught her to talk, nod her head, and all the basics of life. This brought me back to that hospital in Oklahoma where I woke from the coma. On a strictly medical basis my injuries exceeded Senator Gifford’s. I didn’t suffer a bullet tearing through my brain, instead my brain was torn to shreds through violent impact. That type of injury damages the entire brain, tearing billions of connections throughout that precious organ that enables us to live, breath, and think. In me a focus of the damage was on the frontal lobes, a kind of self-induced accidental lobotomy. Fully ten percent of my brain no longer exists at all and they discovered that I had incurred a stroke at an earlier time of my life along with evidence of multiple brain injuries that date back to childhood.

I watched as Gabriel Gifford struggled with basic tasks, and as she broke down crying in frustration, and remembered well my tears and even screams while still in the hospital. She has the benefit of the best medical help available and the most valuable healing tool, the love of her husband and close family, as well as a nation. It is a marked contrast to what I had. Her coma was medically induced to allow her body to cope with the trauma, my coma was not induced, in fact they doubted I would ever wake up, much less live. I had no insurance, had signed a divorce the day I left town running from the law, and there was no close family there at all, just my brother, who chose not to understand what I had endured or needed.

In essence I was thrown out by the hospital and barely tolerated by my brother, evidently an inconvenience he wasn’t pleased to be saddled with. But to his credit, he did more than anyone else, I’ll give him that. Through the help of social agencies, that I was put into contact with after wandering to a hospital desperate for help for the intense pain and confusion I was experiencing, I was enrolled at the Brain Injury Institute in St. Louise. There I was finally given some basic tools on how to live and function, but I was suddenly extradited back to Toledo, where there were warrants out because I had fled the state.

It didn’t take the judge long to figure out I was a mess, and would be expensive to keep, so I was placed on probation and kicked out to the streets. There I wandered lost and confused, homeless and not remembering much of my past, just bits and pieces like a giant jigsaw puzzle. The Veterans Administration put me in their homeless program and provided some basic medical attention, but seemed anxious not recognize I had incurred a brain injury or was disabled in any way.

But look at me now. Ten years later I can carry on a conversation and function well in society. There are still some issues with my memory and it appears that my ability to socially connect with others is hampered, but I suspect that is as much their fault as it is mine. There are many we get along great with, but always a few who seem to choose to judge and look down their noses rather than love and accept. The saddest part of that is they so proudly wear the “Christian” label and are apparently unaware of just how far from that mark they fall. We pray for them every day.

So life isn’t easy but I am incredibly blessed. I have a roof over my head, I have the first love of my life back and our marriage miraculously restored. My mind functions well, and despite being partially paralyzed and suffering serious pain my body does too. But most importantly, my faith has been restored. So now I have a hope for eternal life, a future forever to look forward to, a goal to aim for of standing before the living God and being found pleasing in His sight. With that is a realization of how far I have to go to achieve that goal, an understanding of my faults and inadequacies, but also knowing that my God loves me and is merciful, extending grace that helps me overcome these faults.

So I am thankful for every day I wake up, for I realize that each one is a gift. I am grateful for all those who display how little they think of me, for it reminds me of who I am with Christ and allows me to practice the love and forgiveness He made the foundation of our faith. I am thankful for every meal, for I have wandered lost without a clue where my next meal would come from. I have been blessed with going hungry for it helps me understand those who have no food to eat. I have been honored to be poor for it has strengthened my faith and dependence on God. Experiencing poverty helps me appreciate the little we have and understand we are truly rich, and that the worlds riches mean nothing in Eternity. So I learn to be content with what I have, and true contentment cannot be bought at any price.

Power is out

2011-11-21T14:39:00.000-08:00

11/21/11 Monday
This morning we are without power. It’s foggy out so I fear someone had an accident and hit a pole. Power went out at almost exactly 6:00 am and I said a quick prayer for the protection or health of whoever had an accident, if indeed that happened. Cherie had already made our morning pot of coffee so we had that. The fog means moisture and when I took Cherie’s phone out to the truck, in order to charge it up on the truck battery, the soil was wet. Out here on this desert farm any wet is welcome. There is a chance of thunderstorms predicted today so we pray and hope some comes out way. The winter wheat and rye I planted is sure starved for water, along with everything else.

I got a door put up in the bathroom yesterday. Was grateful to Cherie for her encouragement and reminders to accomplish that task. The new used truck is now legal for the road but I need to pull wheels and investigate the brakes, for there is some grinding and squeaking to be heard while I drive. I also need to see if I can find some exhaust pipe in order to take out the soot collector device that is part of the exhaust. It looks like a catalytic convertor but isn’t and is not legally required on this year diesel. They are known to plug up and that could account for the steady decline in mileage. The shop that repaired our rusty exhaust so we could pass inspection pointed it out to me and will do the work for fifty bucks. Fifty dollars right now is a lot of money. We had gone up north with four thousand budgeted for the new truck but when all was said and done the $1550.00 we spent was all we had left. So I’ll see if I can do that exhaust job myself.

It’s 8:19 and there is still no power. There is a good lesson in this for us. Our reliance on electrical power is an issue we need to address when it comes to our long term plans for this farm. Out here on the farm power outages happen but in the days to come there may be serious interruptions. Iran has published plans that reveal a strategy to destroy or hamper our electrical grid and China has teams of computer hackers that regularly attack the computer systems that control our electricity, along with everything else. To be self-reliant is one of our goals, and that is why I bought a diesel truck. Should things all fall to pieces we can at least run the tractor and truck on vegetable oil. I can buy vegetable oil for a buck a gallon or so but need a filtration system to process it into bio diesel fuel. A press designed to extract oils from seeds would be great for the future too. We could grow our fuel then.

2:41 – The power is still out. I called this morning and learned that a substation that Sharyland Utilities (our power company) shares with Oncor, another power company, had caught on fire. He said they hoped to have the power on by noon. It’s obvious that won’t happen. Must have been one heck of a fire.

I have a fire going now in the woodburner. It was pretty cold here so a fire was a good idea. Plus with the woodburner I can heat up water for coffee or hot chocolate and in a pinch cook food. One of these years I would love to get a real wood fired cook stove. The kind that every house had before electricity and electric appliances became the norm. They still make them new, but those run about ten grand for the real good fancy ones. There are plenty of antique wood stoves out there, mostly up north, that can be found. So it’s on the dream list.

right now I am at the McDonalds in Lamesa. Came for the quest for manhood class I help teach at the prison and figured I could use the wi fi at Mcd's to go online.

It's good to be home

2011-11-20T08:01:00.000-08:00

This morning's sunrise

11/20/11 Sunday
We are so back home. Been back for a week now and still catching up. There was great concern regarding our outside dogs, as we had no one to come and check on them. We had left out several tubs and containers of food, confident we would be home in a week, but it didn’t last two weeks. Driving up to the house in our new used truck we were ecstatic to find both Buddy and Duke in the driveway, loyally waiting for us to come home. Seeing how thin they had become, especially Duke, who’s ribs were pronouncedly visible, brought home how sad it was there was no one we knew close by we felt comfortable asking to check on them.

But what it also did was cause me to think of the spiritual principle our dogs illustrated. Their food bowls were empty and had been empty for quite some time. Both Buddy and Duke are strays we rescued, so they had been on their own before, yet they stayed. Why did they stay and not go wandering to at least look for food? Because of loyalty and also a form of faith deep inside them, faith that we loved them and would always take care of them. Now I know they are only dogs and don’t display the higher cognitive thinking abilities we humans have, but there is a core deep inside them, a trust and faithfulness that we should all make note of.

Just as our dogs stayed, faithfully waiting for their masters to come and provide their needs, so should we wait and trust in God. Oh, there was rejoicing when we got home. They bounced and leaped, excited to see us, and we loved them intensely back. I ran and got food for them and even had to encourage them to eat for they, despite being desperately hungry, were more interested in crawling in my lap and being close. There is a lesson in this for me. Just as they trust in us, to the point perhaps of starving, so need I to trust in God, to truly believe He will take care of us and knows our needs even before we do. When things get bad, when situations all seem to go wrong, when church people who are supposed to love and care reject and gossip instead of doing what they know is right, I need to understand that God is still God. That He loves us even more than we love those dogs and will always lift us up. We pray every day for the pastor and others at Hosanna, intercede for them, ask God to be merciful but also ask that He help them see and understand how their actions directly contradict everything our faith is about. We are to lift up, not tear down, strengthen, not destroy.

I went to the Lynaugh prison yesterday. So missed attending the 4 day Kairos event we had planned so hard for. At the prison I shared something I had read when I was in prison over 30 years ago. It was a poem that I no longer know word for word, but the message still remains with me. The poem told of a man driving along and noticing a group of workers busy tearing down a building. He stops and talks with the foreman of the group, who tells him, “In a minute or two, I can tear down what others took years to do”. When I first heard this decades ago it had an impact on me, for the truth is it is much easier to tear down than it is to build up.

I shared this with the new converts and new members of the Kairos community because we are laying a foundation for them to build on. In prison, and out here in the free world, it is important to be builders and encouragers, to help each other out, protect and nurture our brothers and sisters in the faith. But when pride, ego, envy, jealousy, and all those other shortcomings we all must control, are allowed to rise up, then there comes discord, strife, and all manners of evil, and the Love of Christ, the foundation of our faith, is shoved off to the side. This is a dangerous thing to allow, for with it comes the judgment of the living God, who makes it clear many times that He will protect His little ones and hold accountable all who wear the label of “Christian” but harm the least of God’s children.

Mathew 7:21 "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' 23 Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'

I watched a pastor squirm regarding this verse not so long ago. She said “It says many people will “say” they do these things, but doesn’t say they do, in her attempt to make sure it didn’t refer to anyone she knew. Fact is there will be many false teachers and prophets who do have signs and wonders following them, they WILL prophesy in Jesus’s name, they WILL cast out demons, they WILL perform miracles, yet they are not pleasing to God.

1 Corinthians 13 says 1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

It’s not what you do, but why you do it that is important. True love is shown in actions, not empty words. True love forgives and always works to build up others, to choose what is best for them, not best for yourself. There are so many who seem blind to themselves, deluded they are all that in the church when the fruit of their lives reveals the truth.
The truck we bought in Indiana
That’s it. Got work to do so must go.

a heavy millstone

2011-10-20T18:18:00.000-07:00

The new faucet I put in.

10/20/11 Thursday
It’s starting to warm up a little, but I like the cool weather. I’m still getting used to this new laptop but it’s a great improvement over the old one. Biggest issue I have with it is that the keyboard is not centered because this one has a number keyboard on the right side so that slides the rest of it over. The touchpad is much larger than on the Toshiba and that is causing consistent problems. I’m used to resting my palms on the base of the keyboard and with this touch pad the heel of my palm touches it quite often, with some unwanted results. So I must learn a better way of holding my hands as I type. It keeps popping up screens that I am not familiar with, such as one that says “zoom” and other modifications of the view. On occasion it makes those modifications despite me not wanting them.

I just installed a new faucet for the kitchen. The old one had been given to us by Amy, a friend we met through the blog, along with the kitchen sink. It was great but the water out here is destructive. All faucets here develop leaks as the salt and minerals build up inside them. Salt is unfortunately one of the most corrosive natural elements out there and apparently ate through the metal of the faucet. Of course we have to wonder what else is in the water due to the extremely high level of oil field work done all around us. Fracking is a fairly new technique used these days to increase the production of oil wells but unfortunately that has often been linked with the corruption of the water supply.

We will be going to visit Cherie’s folks up in Ohio before the year ends. She is looking forward to that and it will be good for her. Out here there is no one close we can call a friend and that definitely contributes to her feelings of isolation and loneliness. We really have a hard time understanding the mentality we have run into in this area. What makes it even more sad is the “Christian” label so many wear but show no outward signs of actually practicing. Jesus died for us all, and gave only two commandments. Love God, and love your neighbor as yourself. We have found many good friends in Midland and through the Kairos prison ministry but they are miles away and visiting isn’t a practical thing. We had so looked forward to making friends and becoming a part of the community here in Stanton when we first moved here, and were baffled at the response we got. First we were rejected at the Baptist church. Gossip evidently played a big part in that. No one talked to or with us, but they had plenty to say about us when we weren’t around. Four years later we decide to attend the little church down the road called Hosanna. We attended faithfully a year and once again we experienced that cold we had found in the Baptist church. I know I talk about these things a lot, but I have good reason. We have heard and seen so many stories of those who should be showing the love of God doing quite the opposite. I can only imagine how Jesus’s heart breaks each and every time this horrible, and total, disobedience of the heart of our faith happens. How sad that the ones performing this sin so often believe they are doing the right thing. I see the same arrogance and self-righteousness that was so often displayed by the Pharisees in them. May God have mercy on them for Jesus said "And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me; 6 but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. I would not like to be in their shoes.

We’ve got tons of watermelons that need to find a home. With all the time I’ve spent with the prison ministries we have been unable to make any of the farmers markets. I’ve sent out emails to those we know to get the word out. If any of you readers who are near want some watermelon just let me know.

Time to go now. Good night folks

Red out

2011-10-17T20:15:00.001-07:00

10/17/11 Monday

I’ve seen blackouts, and endured whiteouts up north when the snow blew so hard you couldn’t see five feet in front of you. I think I’ll call what I just drove through on the way home from the prison a red out. While we were at the prison teaching the “Quest for Authentic Manhood” class a storm blew in. We heard a rumbling sound that almost sounded like thunder, except it was constant. Looking out the prison window we saw a red sky full of blowing sand. Everything got dark as it thickened and soon the guard came in to shut down the class. All the inmates were ordered back to their cells and the prison was put on lockdown. I knew it was a serious storm then. We headed back out through security and made the very sandy dash to our vehicles. I had to use both hands to get the door to my truck closed against the wind.

Sitting in the truck I called Cherie as it rocked back and forth in the intense wind. “Is it blowing there yet?” I asked. “Of course it’s blowing” she replied, because the wind always blows out there, so I explained about the storm that was heading her way. She went out and checked for things that might blow away and I headed home.

It was a long drive home. Visibility at times was so bad I couldn’t see the end of the hood on the truck. Part of the drive was spent going five miles an hour as I strained to see the white line that marked the side of the road. Whenever possible I would go faster but it was a little scary. Lots of oil field tanker trucks were on the road, as they always are out here, but they were moving slowly with hazard lights flashing. Despite being intimately familiar with the road home I had to creep up to where I knew the stop sign was because it wasn’t visible till I was feet away. Cherie had all the lights in the house on because she knew I would have a hard time finding the house. I still had to creep along the side of the road to try and find our driveway and almost drove past it.

Boy, is it good to be home. Even walking from the truck to the front door, a journey of about 20 feet, had me covered with a layer of sand. I took a washcloth and wiped as much of it off as I could but I’ll have to take a shower. Sand is everywhere, in my eyes, teeth, and when I blew my nose I thought I had a serious nosebleed till I identified it as sand.

It’s always good to see the guys at the prison. And they generally are glad to see me too. I was greeted warmly when I walked in and some pulled me off to the side to ask advice or talk about issues they were dealing with.

That’s all for now. I’m tired and looking forward to some sleep.

Went to the doctor

2011-10-12T10:52:00.000-07:00

10/12/11 Wednesday
Went to the doctor yesterday about what I thought was an infected big toe. Turns out I have something called gout. I’ve heard about gout many times but never understood what it was, other than it causes a lot of pain. I had figured the toe was infected because there had been a thorn in it that I had pulled out and squeezed pus out of. You can still clearly see where that thorn had been and the whole area had swollen up and turned red. It hurt so badly that walking was extremely difficult despite my high tolerance for pain. Kept hoping the infection would go away but it didn’t seem to so we went to the VA hospital in Big Spring. They did blood tests and I was surprised to learn there was no longer any infection at all, but high levels of uric acid, a sure sign of gout. They gave me medicine for it along with a list of foods I should avoid. The most important thing they said I need to do is drink lots of water, so I’m working hard on that. With the weather cooling off I haven’t been drinking as much water so that’s the big reason this happened. The infection just provided an area for the uric crystals to form so was the catalyst for this.

There are good things that can come out of anything bad. I’ve been needing to write for a while but haven’t been real focused on it. Now that I am hampered from working on the farm and not anxious to walk anymore than I have to I am forced to focus on writing. I see this as God sitting me down a bit.

There is much to do, always. Income taxes for last year need to be completed by the 18th, so that’s a rush. The VA is still confiscating all federal payments we get as we continue the three year long appeal process. Meantime, because we are listed as owing the federal government money, we are exempted from all USDA and federal programs designed to help beginning farmers and those starting up businesses. We are still putting together the business plan for the home inspection program we were trained and certified by the state to perform.

I sold the big diesel truck so now we are looking for a replacement vehicle, preferably a pick up truck that I can use on the farm. May go to Ohio to get one as there are great deals up there because the economy is so poor. If anyone reading this knows of a good deal on a truck let me know. I would love to get a diesel for several reasons but they cost way more than gas trucks do. God will provide, as He always does.

I’m not getting far on putting the booster pump in. As it seems to be with all my projects, I get started and then don’t seem to go anywhere. This drives me crazy and I’m sure doesn’t make Cherie real happy either. Our electric bill appears to be very high at the well so there is something that is not right. We don’t know enough to figure that out and can’t really afford to have someone look at it. What we know is the water pressure is low and the electric bill is high.

I planted winter wheat and rye grain when I knew some rain was finally on the way. Here you can see how I took a fertilizer spreader and tied it on the back of my disc to spread the seeds. Then I drug the old tires I had bolted together on top of it to press the ground down. Waiting to see if that did any good. I am always guessing on how to do things and am never sure because I can’t remember how I did it last time or what the results were.

We haven’t seen many snakes this year. I was harvesting watermelons one morning and after cutting a melon from the vine rolled it over to pick up. There was a young rattlesnake curled up under it that I didn’t see till my hand was about two inches away. It was cold so the snake wasn’t moving very fast. Later, as I was cleaning up the veranda area, I pulled a chair out to shovel the sand that had blown in out. There was this rattlesnake curled up under it. I shoveled it into this rat trap and took it to the tank that’s a couple of hundred yards away, where I released it. They keep the mice and rat population down and I’m all for that. You always have to be careful out here cause you never know where a snake might be. That holds true among people too.

Those who build and those who tear down

2011-10-12T10:48:00.000-07:00

10/10/11 Monday
It’s past time to give you all an update. Those of you who care want to know how things are going and those who want to keep tabs on us want to know as well. Our fake Ricardo sure wants to do that, but his/her motives are far from pure. But that’s ok, our God reigns and those who wish for us to fail will be constantly disappointed.

There is an old song I remember that says “Two kinds of people in this world, winners, losers”. While there is some truth to that I understand that things are more complex than this. There are in this world those who build up and those who tear down, the encouragers and the ones who enjoy pointing out all the failures in ones life. We understand that well, and have seen much of it. It’s so sad when those who strive to tear down are the ones who also proudly wear that “Christian” label. God is real clear about what He thinks of them, and it’s not good. A problem is that those who are so proud and arrogant about who they are in the church are also blind to themselves, unable to see or even recognize their hypocrisy.

We had a wonderful visit by Mark Case yesterday. Mark is a man of God who has traveled the world and has a message for the church of today. It’s a message that many don’t want to hear but those who don’t want to hear it are the ones who need to hear it the most. We’ve known Mark for a couple of years now and were so happy when he called to say he’d stop by. He had given a message at that little church in Stanton, the one we used to attend, so was close by.

We talked for quite a while, discussing issues in the church, the world, and our lives. We did a little bible study as Mark revealed some deep things he has been shown. Unfortunately he has a busy schedule and needed to get to Dallas so we had to cut the visit short and send him on his way. There are great needs in our area for accurate teaching of the bible, to counteract the many false teachings that circulate around, so Mark encouraged us to continue seeking avenues to do so. He understands our desire to not cause problems with another church, the one that rejected us, but said that we can’t let that get in the way of what God wants. Thus I am encouraged to start a bible study in the area and will look for avenues to do so. If others feel that this is done out of spite that is their problem, for my heart is pure in my reasons for doing this. I don’t see our faith as a form of competition, but so many others do. Jesus was clear when He, after being told that there were others doing things in His name, said “If they are not against me then they are for me”.

It is so sad when we see discord in the church. Don’t all these people understand that we are on the same side? Why don’t they all join in together to help each other achieve the goals that Jesus set before us all, to love. For our morning devotional I read again out of John 13, where Jesus washed the disciples feet. After He did that they all observed the Passover dinner, where Jesus broke the bread and explained that this was His body, broken for us. When they had all eaten Jesus said “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another”.

How is this a new commandment? It’s the same one that has been around for ages, a principle of the faith found in the old testament, where it says “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself”. So what makes it new? Jesus said we should love one another as HE loved us. That’s what makes it new, the example Jesus gave through His life, where He even died for us all.

But make careful note of what else He said “By this all men will know that you are my disciples”. Understand that when we fail to love each other, especially in the church, that the world will also know that we ARE NOT His disciples. The world is watching and sees every act, both good and bad, and you can bet it sees the bad quicker than the good. So when we get angry, spiteful, resentful, jealous, or any other thing against those who are in the family of God, and all others too, the world watches in disgust, saying “Look at those hypocrites” and many doubt God because of it.

Jesus said “Whoever causes the least of my little ones to stumble, it would be better for him that a millstone were hung around his neck and that he was thrown into the deepest part of the sea”. There is a judgment we all must face, so we should always walk carefully. In Mathew 7 Jesus said “"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' 23 Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'

Enough of that. I’ve got things to do. Will go to the prison tonight and teach some of the guys there.

Time flies by

2011-09-28T14:38:00.000-07:00

9/28/11 Wednesday
Wow, time flies by so quickly. As is often the case I was unaware of how long it has been since I posted on the blog. Got a comment from the fake Ricardo asking for me to update the blog so he/she could know how we are doing. I deleted it. Really don’t have time for those who are deceptive. Was just reading in Ezra about those who came to the Israelites who were rebuilding the temple saying “Let us help you, for we worship the same God you do”. They were liars and when their help was refused they proceeded to write the king of Babylon and get him to stop the rebuilding efforts. The more things change the more they stay the same.

This is the back of the shirt that was printed up for the Kairos. It is signed front and back by the men from the prison we ministered to.

We have been busy for sure. The Kairos walk for the Smith prison unit was two weeks ago. As always Kairos is a time of powerful moves of the Lord, with many lives touched and miracles happening every day. Last Saturday I went back up there for the follow up day, where we begin to train them on how to support each other in that prison environment, and to integrate them into the existing church at the prison. With that comes revelations of ongoing problems and issues. I had two in my group who expressed their dismay at not being accepted in a prayer group on their cell block. At lunch I sat at a table with another inmate, who has been in prison 21 years. He shared an issue he had regarding someone who went through the Kairos walk but was still actively engaged in homosexual activity. Come to find out it was the same person I had talked with earlier. It’s a sticky situation, where I was being asked for advice from both individuals separately. The answer in both cases is to love and forgive. We can hate the sin, but must love the sinner. In the end we all stand before the living God, who knows all things, even the deepest thoughts of our hearts. It is He who is the judge, not us. And it is God whom we must answer too, not man. In prison there are many uncomfortable situations and seldom easy answers. I can’t talk about lots of it but thought I’d give you just a small glimpse.

What else??? Oh, lots of things so I’ll fill in the best I can. Also teaching a class at the prison on Mondays, called “Quest for authentic manhood” that is biblically based. After the class I stopped at McDonalds for a bite to eat. There was a bible study going on that I was invited to join, so I did. It was interesting to say the least as one of the leaders definitely doesn’t fit into the normal “church” box. In fact several of them had been kicked out of churches and experienced many things in church that our Lord would definitely not approve of. Fact is that lately I have been running into a lot of people who have had problems in and with traditional churches. This type of things seems to be on the rise for sure. There have always been problems in churches. As a pastor friend of mine said “Church is great, except there are people there”.

People are human and thus suffer from the ailments that plague all mankind. Jealousy, envy, lust, ambition, greed, and all the other issues we must overcome, are the common downfalls of our civilization. The thing is though, these are also the same problems Jesus died to set us free from. Jesus’ final prayer, just before He was crucified, is found in John chapter seventeen. In it He said "I do not ask on behalf of these alone, but for those also who believe in Me through their word ; 21 that they may all be one ; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me.”

Our unity is to be the sign, the way, that the world will know that the Father sent Jesus to the world. What a shame it is that so many are so worried about their own personal desires, and are so not worried about what God or the world thinks, that they cause all this discord in the churches. They seem to have no fear of God, to be totally unaware of their selfishness and lack of true faith, and in fact often are proud of and flaunt their “religiosity” and hold high positions in the church. They are so self deceived that they are unaware of the judgment that faces us all and are confident they will be found pleasing to God.

We got this cute letter a few days ago. Someone went through a lot of effort to carefully print, cut, and paste our address on the envelope. When I picked it up I had to wonder what it was. Sure looks like some kind of ransom note or something. Opening it up we find a nasty note about our dogs and a story of the writer running off the road into our stone decorative wall to avoid hitting one of them. We looked, there are no tracks in the soft soil nor any evidence of anyone running off the road or hitting the stone wall. Whoever wrote it knows my name, post office box, and knows we are working to build a farm as revealed in their letter when she said we would lose everything we worked so hard for. A bitter person for sure, another example of that spirit that seems to be so prevalent in this area. And, like so many, a person that hides behind anonymity, a coward that speaks in hiding. It is so sad. We made sure to pray for them too, adding them to our list of people we hold up in prayer.

We bought a pump to boost the water pressure at the house and on the farm. Not sure how well it will work but got a good deal on it. Bought a pressure tank to go with it and I have gone online a few times to study up on this stuff. We will see how it works. I dug up where the pipe comes in from the well that is a half mile away. It is right were an old water well used to be so I took the rusted metal cover off and ran a string with a rock tied on it down the hole. I figured it would be a deep hole so worked to untangle at least a hundred feet of string for this task. It went down six feet and that’s it. This well is forty of fifty years old and had run dry long ago so was closed up. I wonder now about the possibility of clearing the old hole out and perhaps going deeper to find water that’s close to the house.

We sold the big red diesel truck Sunday and the trailer today. Didn’t get as much as I wanted for it but we need the money to get a new pickup that is more reliable. I am thinking of running up to Ohio where we can go to an auction and buy a truck for a decent price. It would be great to visit up there again. Sure want to see the dad of my old friend, Bernie, who died last year. And of course there are others it would be nice to see again. Some of them are friends from a different life, a life I no longer care to live, but friends just the same. I think I am well able to resist the temptations presented there but will be careful just the same.

Watermelons are doing well. Coyotes come in regularly and steal some, dragging them out into the field, where they eat them. Later we will be able to build fences and keep them out but meantime will just have to absorb the loss. With weather getting cooler we have hopes tomatoes will start producing. The Israeli cantaloupes have finally gotten established. I learned that letting weeds grow around them protected them from the rabbits. Why I don’t know but it worked. Noticed some cantaloupe growing in weeds unmolested while cantaloupe I had planted nearby was steadily being eaten so figured I’d give it a try.

So things are moving here at the farm. We look forward to seeing what God has in store for us.

It's gonna be a busy week

2011-09-12T07:35:00.000-07:00

There is so much going on I have a hard time keeping up. Today I must submit to a psychological evaluation for the department of rehabilitation. I've done this before. It's a battery of tests that includes and IQ test. Look forward to seeing how much my brain has improved. All of this is to jump through the hoops necessary to get help purchasing the equipment we need for our building performance certification.

First thing on my list this morning is to crawl under the truck and search again for the wiring problem that has caused the rear lights to no longer work. This makes the truck unsafe to drive as there are no brake lights, and undrivable after dark. There are no dash lights now either.

I will be going to a prison for four days starting Thursday, so have much to do before then. Our missionary friend is arriving Wednesday. We will pick him and his wife up at the airport and enjoy a dinner together, but then I must leave. Hate to miss any time I have a chance to spend with this man of God.

Farming is a constant battle with nature. But we have at least won with the watermelons and some cantaloupe. Water pressure continues to be a problem. We have decided to install a booster pump to help that. Sold some of the stock I inherited from my dad to help with that. It would be nice to have more than a dribble coming out of our new shower. Salt and mineral buildup in the pipes and new shower head is an issue. Talked to a farmer with the Kairos prison ministry who told me about putting in elemental filters that should help some. More expense we can't afford but I will see if I can build one myself and just buy the activated charcoal used in bulk to save money.

Here's the bible reading Cherie and I did a few days ago. It is a significant teaching that Jesus made, through His example, and one we all need to contemplate on. This is out of the book of John, thirteenth chapter.

1 It was just before the Passover Feast. Jesus knew that the time had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he now showed them the full extent of his love. 2 The evening meal was being served, and the devil had already prompted Judas Iscariot, son of Simon, to betray Jesus. 3 Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; 4 so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. 5 After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. 6 He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, "Lord, are you going to wash my feet?" 7 Jesus replied, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." 8 "No," said Peter, "you shall never wash my feet." Jesus answered, "Unless I wash you, you have no part with me." 9 "Then, Lord," Simon Peter replied, "not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!" 10 Jesus answered, "A person who has had a bath needs only to wash his feet; his whole body is clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you." 11 For he knew who was going to betray him, and that was why he said not every one was clean. 12 When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. "Do you understand what I have done for you?" he asked them. 13 "You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. 14 Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. 15 I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. 16 I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17 Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.

Jesus taught time and again about how we are to not think too much of ourselves, consider us as being too important to bow before anyone. Humility is the principle key to our faith. It is the opposite of pride and pride is the source of all sin, including the reason for Lucifer's downfall. Pride flies into the face of God, before whom we all shall bow. It is because of pride we have resentment, jealousy, anger, or any of the many other problems we all face. There is a quote from president Roosevelt's wife that stuck with me. "No one can offend me without my permission" Hmmm, that says a lot. It is pride that allows offense. "How dare he/she say that. Don't they know who I am?" is a thought process that often goes with being offended.

I knew a pastor once, who would expound from the pulpit on how offended she was when someone, who was sick with a fever, actually asked her to come and wipe her brow with a wet cloth. It bothered her so much that I heard this story several times in church, and each time my heart would break. How she missed the heart of God in this, how blind she was to her own pride. But more important than that was my concern on the effect this "Servant" of the Lord had on those she is a shepherd to, on how she was leading them down a road our Lord does not approve of. We pray for her every day, often several times a day, for the fruit of her ministry has been division and the self exaltation that comes from pride. God sent prophets to her, though some didn't know they were prophets, and all were chased away.

A prophet isn't just someone who foretells the future, a true prophet does much more than that. They lead others away from sin, and often do it by exposing those sins to the light of God's word. This is what Paul said about it in 1 Corinthians 14:24 But if all prophesy, and an unbeliever or an ungifted man enters, he is convicted by all, he is called to account by all ; 25 the secrets of his heart are disclosed ; and so he will fall on his face and worship God, declaring that God is certainly among you.

I was accused (and we know that Satan is the great accuser, and the source of all such things, the putting down of others to build yourself up) of using the Word of God to manipulate others. All I did was quote the scriptures in bible studies to go along with what was being taught, but it seems that those words cut, exposed the hearts of some who heard, and thus they lashed back. But they lashed back in private, behind closed doors, and never to my face, instead talking about me, not to me. I love them, and pray for them, for I fear for them. I know my God, and His heart. Without repentance judgment comes. No, I am not offended. I knew it was happening for all this was revealed to me by my Lord. I am saddened however, and greatly troubled in my spirit that the way of the Lord will be maligned because of those who bear His name.

"Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened." -- Sir Winston Churchill

Got work to do. Bye now

Slow down, type of seizure

2011-09-07T08:31:00.000-07:00

9/7/11 Wednesday
Am in the middle of a major slow down. Haven’t had one like this in a while. Been more slow downs lately. For new readers, these are a form of seizure stemming from the brain injury. Basically my brain slows down. Hard time talking, get lost easy. Even walking gets hard. Hope it doesn’t last long. Rough. Used to happen daily. Not so much lately.

A few hundred years ago...

2011-09-05T10:18:00.000-07:00

(I didn't write this but sure agree)

A few hundred years ago, some rather courageous men and women decided that they'd had enough of living under someone else's rule-- that the right of self-determination was stronger than any benefit or protection from living under a corrupt government.

The US Declaration of Independence eloquently posed the colonists' grievances against King George III, including among others, that he had:

"erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people, and eat out their substance;"

"obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers;"

"[deprived] us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury"

The Constitution was supposed to address all of these grievances as the Founding Fathers sought to create a government where no single branch or office had too much power. Even to this day, US government officials swear an oath to support and defend the Constitution against all enemies-- foreign and domestic.

My guess is that most of them haven't bothered to read it.

Take the Fish and Wildlife Service (FWS) under the US Department of Interior, for example. A few months ago, a government agent from FWS showed up to the home of an eleven-year-old girl with a federal summons in one hand and a citation for $535 in another.

The girl's crime? Saving a baby woodpecker from being killed and eaten by the family cat. The bird's mother was nowhere to be seen, so the girl (an aspiring vet) convinced her parents to let her care for it for a few days until the bird was well enough to fly away on its own.

Noble act? Wrong. Federal crime. It turns out that the bird is on the government list of protected species... and according to the government's newspeak, protecting a bird that's on the protected species list is a crime.

It sort of echoes Thomas Jefferson's line about King George having "erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people..." It seems not too much has changed.

What's more, the agent obviously couldn't come alone to confront an 11-year old girl and her mother. No, that wouldn't be threatening enough. That's why FWS requested to be escorted by a Virginia State Police Trooper who "stood on the porch and said nothing."

It's government fear and intimidation tactics at their best... a far cry from supporting and defending the Constitution.

Then there's the case of Gibson Guitar , a legendary American company that manufactures some of the most famous, high quality guitars in the industry. Less than two weeks ago, armed government agents (also from the US Fish and Wildlife Service) raided Gibson Guitar's manufacturing plants and corporate headquarters in Tennessee.

Gibson Guitar's crime? Being in possession of a rare ebony wood imported from India; they use it in their manufacturing.

Here's what's funny: possession of said wood is not illegal in the United States.

Here's what's really funny: Gibson Guitar has clear evidence-- letters from the Indian government-- proving that their possession of the wood is not illegal in India either.

And... here's what's really, really funny: This is the second time in two years that the company has been raided and inventory been seized by federal agents. Gibson's management team is STILL waiting for a court hearing to get their property back from the 2009 seizure.

Again, echoes of Thomas Jefferson: that King George "[deprived] us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury."

Welcome to the new reality. Executive agencies in the United States have extraordinary unchecked power. They can seize your assets, freeze your bank accounts, intercept your emails, comb through your credit card transactions, and even take away your children... all without so much as a court order or any form of oversight.

We've explored before how you can end up on the wrong side of a government agency, even if you haven't done anything illegal. If you are so much as suspected of wrongdoing, they can come after you... even if you're just in the wrong place at the wrong time, they can come after you.

These are two cases where the government has come after its citizens-- even when they are doing the RIGHT thing.

Think about it: two of the most unlikely people in the country have become enemies of the state: an eleven-year-old girl who wants to save a baby bird, and a manufacturing company that has managed to stay in business (and continue hiring!) in the midst of the worst recession in the nation's history.

The adventure continues

2011-08-29T07:47:00.000-07:00

8/27/11 Saturday, Sunday, and Monday
I got on the tractor early this morning, hurrying to disc up the soil before it dries out. Was surprised yesterday at how fast it was drying. In the morning had planted cantaloupe seed in soil that was plenty wet from the big rain we got the night before. When I went back out after dinner the soil was already bone dry for the top inch, and had hardened into a crust, so I knew that in this 100 plus degree heat it would dry out fast.

I haven’t run the tractor much this year, only once I think. That would be the one other time we had any moisture in the ground in eleven months. Unfortunately the tractor has a leak and most of the hydraulic fluid had disappeared. I discovered this when I went to raise the discs up so I wouldn’t chop up my irrigation tubing. It didn’t raise and I chopped it up. Nuts!!! So I poured what was left from the five gallon bucket of fluid into the tractor and that still didn’t register on the dipstick at all. Oh well, it was at least enough to lift the discs so I got back to discing up the soil.

Then I had another surprise. Running back around to make another pass on one of the pathways we have I was amazed to find a flood of water pouring out of an exposed PVC pipe. The reason I was amazed was this pipe had been installed three years ago. A good friend had rented a trencher and bought the pipe so we could install this vital part of our farm, the plumbing to extend water to most parts of the five acres we have initially used to create this business. The pipe you see was buried almost two feet deep in the ground. What is amazing is this is a clear illustration of just how much soil the wind can erode away over time. Of course we didn’t really notice it, at least not how much it was, because this happened slowly over three years. However I believe most of that was just in the last eleven months of drought. That’s a lot of dirt gone. We have other areas that are now two feet higher than they were and areas like this that are two feet lower. When I can get grass growing it will prevent further erosion, but till then we get this. There is so much we can and plan on doing, but it all takes money and more labor than one person with a bad back can do.

The next picture shows a blessing that came with the storm. All these telephone poles are the ones that the storm snapped in half. I saw the crews working and picking them up yesterday so stopped and asked if I could have them. “Sure, it would save us a trip taking them back to the yard” the foreman said. When they pulled up later to unload I made sure to give the guys some watermelons. There were some melons that the storm was so strong it rolled them down the path quite a ways.

I had wanted more telephone poles anyway so this way I had them delivered. I’ll get the chain saw out and chop off the splintered parts and use the rest as fence posts and liners for garden plots.

Had a good meeting with the elders we visit with on Friday afternoons. It’s sad the HeBrew has closed and looks like I won’t be able to get it opened back up. Was surprised at how unenthusiastic the former manager of the place was regarding my desire to obtain funding and support for it. I guess after 8 years it was wearing on him. I don’t know, but all ministry can be a burden, and we all can become weary.

I was asked about the church that kicked me out. It was hard for me to not express my views on what really happened there, not go into details, for to do that would make me guilty of the same gossip that had been used against us, make me just as big a hypocrite as they are. But it also raised up my responsibility regarding those who performed this deed. My concern isn’t at all about the wrong done to us, about the hurt caused, but it is for their spiritual well being. I have forgiven them from my heart, but fear for them also. What’s done to me is of no consequence, for if I am persecuted for righteousness sake that is a blessing. People can spit in my face, and that just blesses me for so they did with Jesus before me. What I know though, is that they will have to stand before the living God, who will judge us all, so for that I have great concern. Jesus was clear, many times, regarding the consequences of how we treat others. In Mark 9:42 He placed a child on His lap and said “Whoever causes one of these little ones, who believes, to stumble, it would be better for him if, with a heavy millstone hung around his neck, he had been cast into the sea”.

In Mathew 25 Jesus tells succinctly of that final day. He starts out with the sheep being separated from the goats, a telling illustration that speaks of the same thing His parable of the wheat and weeds does, how in the church there will be both good and bad present, those who are true believers and those who just think they are.

Mathew 25:31 "But when the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the angels with Him, then He will sit on His glorious throne. 32 "All the nations will be gathered before Him; and He will separate them from one another, as the shepherd separates the sheep from the goats ; 33 and He will put the sheep on His right, and the goats on the left. 34 "Then the King will say to those on His right, 'Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. 35 'For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat ; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink ; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; 36 naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.' 37 "Then the righteous will answer Him, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink ? 38 'And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? 39 'When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?' 40 "The King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.' 41 "Then He will also say to those on His left, 'Depart from Me, accursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels ; 42 for I was hungry, and you gave Me nothing to eat ; I was thirsty, and you gave Me nothing to drink ; 43 I was a stranger, and you did not invite Me in; naked, and you did not clothe Me; sick, and in prison, and you did not visit Me.' 44 "Then they themselves also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not take care of You?' 45 "Then He will answer them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.' 46 "These will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life."

At our luncheon meeting I was surprised to find myself teaching these elders of the Christian community in Midland. I had opened my bible and it naturally opened where I had a bookmark. Cecil said “What do you have to share with us today?” so I looked down and saw it was on Isaiah 58, an area I had just been studying. I read a great part of it and it speaks of the same thing I just addressed above, of the religious people who are so far off base. “"Yet they seek Me day by day and delight to know My ways, As a nation that has done righteousness And has not forsaken the ordinance of their God. They ask Me for just decisions, They delight in the nearness of God”. That sounds pretty good doesn’t it? What can be wrong here? How many people we know and have seen who seek God daily, who delight to display their Christianity, who crave and bask in the nearness of God, or at least think they do. There is a self deception that religiosity brings, a dangerous deception that can lead to hell. In it great pride reigns, great self aggrandizement as they strut proudly displaying their faith. But…

But the prophet goes on to reveal God’s view of these people. They complain “'Why have we fasted and You do not see ? Why have we humbled ourselves and You do not notice ?' and God answers "Behold, you fast for contention and strife and to strike with a wicked fist.” I have watched, watched as prayers are not answered but also watched as those who’s prayers aren’t answered pretend they are and call it “Walking in faith”. Claiming the victory when nothing has happened, denying the reality before them. And I have watched their confusion as they try to hide it. It was sad to see, sad to watch the blind leading the blind, knowing they both will fall into a ditch.

They speak of hearing the “Voice of God” but what they hear is their own imagination. For God brings unity, God brings peace, God brings fellowship and compassion. God is Love and love is that which chooses for the good of the other person over what you may desire. It is sacrificing your will to help and build up the other. If the “voice” they are hearing brings division and discord, separation and not unity, if it tears down, not builds up, that voice has it’s roots in the demonic realm. It is the voice of Satan, not the Holy God who so loved the world He gave His only son, who gives life.

Isaiah said “You fast for contention and strive, to strike with a wicked fist” and this is something I have also seen, and experienced. Was talking to a brother recently who told of a church he was asked to leave. In this church there were “Words from the Lord” and prophesies, but these prophesies were told in private to individuals, not publicly to be judged as the scripture instructs. These prophesies caused division and clearly were a tool used by this pastor to achieve her goals. I have talked to others who have also had similar bad experiences in church. Cherie and I experienced this at a huge level during our first marriage, as those who were “Spiritual” had prophesies and words from the Lord that were aimed at tearing our marriage apart. And they did. They were even casting out demons from me by proxy, having others stand in for me as a group surrounded them, all laying hands on the person representing me, and just having a holy good time doing what the bible clearly forbids. Then patting themselves on the back regarding what a great work for the Lord they had done, how they had beat back the forces of Satan with their prayers, when all they had done was the devils work.

There is so much “Counterfeit Christianity” out there, it is often hard to discern the truth from a lie. The sad part is the participants are often totally deceived, thinking they are doing God’s will, when they are far from it.

Life is getting busy as ministry opportunities increase. We have some full schedules ahead with two Kairos events at two prisons coming up, along with other chances to teach in prisons. I’ll go check out a new one today at the Smith prison, called The Quest for Authentic Manhood, and decide if I want to be involved.

Meantime there is always farm work to do. A brother in white just got out of prison after 15 years in and we were surprised and glad to see him at the Stepping Stone halfway house. Had gone there for a recruitment barbecue for Kairos when I heard a voice say “Bob”. Looking around I saw him and ran to give him a hug. It’s scary to be free after 15 years in prison. Everything has changed and is different. Cell phones were not common when he went away so even operating a phone requires education. But he has great support at Stepping Stone and with those of us who knew him in prison. That’s what it’s about, loving and caring for others, showing Jesus in your life and actions. Even saying that brings sadness because of what we experienced in that little church in Stanton. May God have mercy on them.

Got to go. Busy day scheduled.

Storms, rain, blessings, problems, life goes on

2011-08-26T07:34:00.000-07:00

8/26/11 Friday
Well, we got rain, and then some. The storm blew in hard with a first wave of sand followed by hard rain. Then a few moments later the second wave blew in. That one had wind much more intense than the winds that came with the first wave, which were pretty hard. I think these are called straight line winds. They ripped the latch off the front door so I had to struggle to hold it closed, putting all my weight into it and still barely able to keep it shut. We ended up wedging all kinds of things, like the dog crate, up against it.

When the storm blew through, only minutes later, I heard Cherie say “Bob, there’s something going on at the corner. Cars are stopping and all bunched together”. Going out to check on this I saw that ten or eleven power poles had snapped off like twigs. We now understood why the power had gone off. Actually it had gone off with the first wave so this was in addition too whatever caused the power to fail.

When it settled down enough to walk outside I took the camera to get some pictures of the damage. All our corn, the last batch that was doing so well, has been laid down by the wind. Oh well, such is life out here, always a fight with nature. But we got rain, a significant amount that will make a difference. How I long for the time we can have a catch basin built to catch these torrential occasions, but for now we are grateful for this rain that will wash the salt out of the soil, salt deposited by our well water.

With that comes work, lots of work. I’ll be able to disc up some soil now but weeds are going to sprout like never before. We were impressed at the response of the electric company. In minutes there were trucks all over the place, soon numbering ten or more, repairing the damage. I walked out and talked to some of the guys, asking if I could have the broken telephone poles. They were busy so I didn’t get a clear answer but there are some left out there this morning so I will fire up the tractor and drag them onto the farm.

It was a rough night. With out power there were no fans running, and with the rain lots of humidity, so it was sweltering to say the least. On top of that was the sounds of trucks and machinery working across the street repairing the power lines. They had the power on by two or so in the morning, an amazing feat. We were woken when fans and lights came on, and grateful.

That’s it for now. I’ll be busy, lots to do, more than usual.

In Prison south of Houston

2011-08-26T07:32:00.000-07:00

(I had decided to not advertise the fact that no one was home on the internet so didn't post this earlier)
8/19/11 Friday
We’re in Angleton Texas this morning. Cherie and I are preparing to go into a prison here, where we will help conduct a marriage seminar with inmates, and their wives. The wives will be provided hotel rooms and food for this three day event, and will be allowed to enter the prison, where they can sit with their husbands for this. I was able to observe this program a couple of weeks ago and agreed to accept a paid position with the organization doing it. Cherie will be observing and we look forward to being able to work together, serving the Lord. It’s not a “Christian” program per se, as it is funded through a federal grant, but when all is done we can discuss things of the Lord with them privately on the last day.

Angleton is just a few miles from the Gulf of Mexico, and you can feel the humidity. I mean you can “Feel” it on your skin and as you breath the air. Dramatically different from the West Texas desert we have become used to, but still very familiar to us because Toledo, Ohio, is in what was called “The Great Black Swamp”. It is forecasted to hit 103 degrees today, so that heat with this humidity will be rough. I hope the area in prison we are to conduct this seminar is air conditioned. If not we will be drenched in sweat within seconds.

Amy, if you read this, we will see if we can meet with you on the way back to pick up that air conditioner. I have your phone number somewhere in the emails or messages, but we left our address book home, so send me an email or private message on FB to give me the number. No promises as we are at the mercy of the director, who provided a ride for us. Besides, we are not sure if there is room in his vehicle. There is some room, it depends on how big the air conditioner is.

We had thought this seminar wasn’t till next week and I was out working on the farm when Ron called saying “I’m running a little late”. “Oh? Am I going somewhere?” I responded. Ron said “I hope so” and explained the seminar was this weekend. I immediately dropped what I was doing and ran to the house to let Cherie know, as she was just getting ready to head to the Laundromat. From that moment on it was panic mode. Cherie searched for clean clothes and we rushed to get bags packed, food out for the dogs and cats, and prepare.

This laptop caught another bug. The spyware hasn’t found it, but there is something wrong for sure. It refused to perform the restore function for one thing, and stuff is missing or moved around. I hope I don’t lose another hard drive. Already have to start the book over because all that was lost the last time it crashed, along with forty or fifty bible studies I had done. Can’t wait for that time we can afford to get another laptop, hopefully a Mac as they have less problems with this kind of thing.

This will be a slow day, as we must wait for the wives to arrive and the only thing scheduled is to take them out to dinner this evening. Tomorrow is when the real work begins. Perhaps I’ll get some writing done, or at least some research, today. I went out and prayed as I walked around the parking lot. I’m so used to doing this on the farm, and greatly enjoy that time with the Lord I have as I walk about pulling weeds or checking irrigation. As I wandered in the parking lot of this hotel praying I wondered what someone would think if they saw me apparently talking to myself or muttering. Oh well, there are plenty who think I’m a little crazy as it is anyway.

So that’s it for now.

Examine yourself

2011-08-14T07:47:00.001-07:00

8/12/11 Friday
The bible study we started out our day with was finishing up the 2nd book of Corinthians. Cherie and I try to start every day in the word of God and with prayer, though there have been a couple of mornings we got busy quick and that didn’t happen. In 2nd Corinthians we discover the issues Paul had with those who wanted to be seen as somebody in the church. How familiar this all was. We have seen and heard of these kinds of things our whole life, discord, pride, egos, division, and the power of the tongue to corrupt many.

It’s hard to imagine what Paul wrote about. Paul had been the one to first tell of the gift of eternal life Jesus made available through His death in Corinth so had founded the church there. Corinth was a sinful place to be sure, the Greeks had a saying, one of those common things heard in that day where everyone understood what it meant, a word that meant “to act like a Corinthian” that meant the person was fornicating. We know today how hard it is not to be influenced by all around us, but it could well have been much harder in Paul’s day.

Despite, or perhaps because, of the great sin in that city the message of the Love of God resulted in a growing and thriving group of believers. But, predictably, the lifestyles these people were coming out of often infected that group. This Paul addressed in his first letter to the Corinthians with no equivocation about it. By the time the second letter was written another problem rose up, in addition to the constant battle with immorality.

What was this problem? It was those who wanted to be put on pedestals, to be in charge and looked up to, who wanted to control this growing church. How did they go about this? First by tearing down Paul, the spiritual father of that church. In studying Paul’s response to this I have learned many things. His grace and humility are amazing to me as I read him striving to communicate the truth of who he is in Christ and to help them understand the errors they have become a part of. But in this letter are many clues to what was going on. In chapter two he mentions those who “peddle” the word of God. In chapter four those who “Walk in craftiness, adulterating the word of God”. In chapter six Paul says “We wronged no one, we corrupted no one, we took advantage of no one” indicating some of the gossip and accusations being thrown around regarding him. Chapter ten reveals that some were saying Paul was walking “According to the flesh”, accusing him of not being really spiritual. Wow! This is amazing, that such a thing could be spread regarding Paul, who in founding the church did so with many signs and wonders. But this too I was accused of in the church that not so politely escorted me out and said “Don’t come back”.

Chapter ten is where Paul begins to directly address the problems of those who sought to build themselves up by tearing him down. Verse ten of that chapter says “For they say ‘His letters are weighty and strong, but his personal presence is unimpressive and his speech contemptible”. And thus the gossip goes, that tool the devil most effectively uses to tear down and not build up.

All of this put Paul into a most awkward position, especially for a man who possessed true humility. Now he has to talk about himself, to counteract the gossip designed to make everyone think less of him, to show who he truly is with the Lord, that he indeed is an apostle chosen by God. How we can see Paul wrestle with this in his letter, and in his honesty. In it we hear of those who purport to be “Super Apostles”, evidently big on blowing their own horn.

I had started writing this Friday. Now it is Sunday morning and I am just getting back to it. Saturday I spent in Lamesa training for the Kairos prison ministry at the Smith prison unit. Friday afternoon we went to the HeBrew ministry, to say goodbye to the volunteers who have worked there for something like 7 years. It was a shock to hear they were closing it down. I am working to drum up support and keep the ministry alive. Have several pastors that have expressed interest but also seem to be running into some brick walls. I know the devil definitely wants that ministry to die, as it is a light shining in the darkness and is a powerful voice for the Lord to the high school students across the street.

So back to the short bible study. Paul now goes into detail to remind the Corinthians of who he is. He tells of the hardships he endured to tell of the Love of Christ, and then reveals how he was taken into heaven. What a glimpse into his life this gives us. It is no accident that Paul wrote a large portion of our new testament. He was truly a prophet, as were John and many others, though many don’t view him that way. But here we find Paul having to counteract the poison of the lips that had spread and infected many. In chapter 12 verse 11 he says “I have become foolish; you yourselves compelled me. Actually I should have been commended by you, for in no respect was I inferior to the “super apostles” even though I am nobody. The signs of a true apostle were performed among you with all perseverance, by signs and wonders and miracles.

What an amazing thing, that Paul would even have to remind them of these things. Evidently the poison of words had created great doubt and controversy in that church, so much that even the signs, wonders, and miracles the Lord performed through him were discounted. In verse 16 we read what appears to be tinged with some sarcasm where he says “I did not burden you myself; nevertheless, crafty fellow that I am, I took you in by deceit.” And spoke of Titus and the other brother he had sent to the Corinthians saying “He did not take advantage of you, did he?” so that leads me to believe these gossipers were anxious to tear down anyone related to Paul as well.

Now we come to the concluding remarks, and in it we see Paul’s heart. Verse 19 “Have you been thinking all along that we have been defending ourselves to you? We have been speaking in the sight of God as those in Christ; and everything we do, dear friends, is for your strengthening.” Those that work against the things of God tear down, not build up. They create division instead of unity. They are the ones who refuse to talk with another, preferring instead to deign themselves as better than the others and thus separate from them. And they do it in the name of the Lord, purporting to be wise they become fools,(Romans 1:22) false shepherds leading many astray.(Isaiah 9:16)

“For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder. 21 I am afraid that when I come again my God will humble me before you, and I will be grieved over many who have sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, sexual sin and debauchery in which they have indulged”.

Hear Paul again expresses his concern, concern that exists because of his great love for these people. He expresses his fear that some will not repent and explains how that will break his heart, that he will mourn for them if they have not. But then he also warns them of his authority in Christ. There is great grace in the things of the Lord, but great severity also.

On my return I will not spare those who sinned earlier or any of the others, 3 since you are demanding proof that Christ is speaking through me. He is not weak in dealing with you, but is powerful among you. 4 For to be sure, he was crucified in weakness, yet he lives by God's power. Likewise, we are weak in him, yet by God's power we will live with him to serve you. 5 Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you--unless, of course, you fail the test?

I must end this as we are heading out to church. “Examine yourself” it says, “Whether you are in the faith”. What a good instruction this is for us today. We should all examine ourselves and see if there is any unclean or improper way in us, so that we can bring them to the Lord and be cleansed of it. This I do daily, as my desire is to be found pleasing to the Lord in all my ways and thoughts.

Be blessed.

The more things change the more they stay the same

2011-08-11T09:07:00.000-07:00

8/11/11 Thursday
The wind is kicking up early today, so it promises to blow lots of sand. I went out and turned the irrigation off where we had it run all night, and then turned it on for the tomatoes and melon patch. Surveyed the damage rabbits did. It can be discouraging but I keep trying and hoping that we can get at least a few of the Israeli cantaloupe to survive. We are on our second replanting of them.

It is always interesting to observe what God is doing and how the enemy can get in to wreak havoc. What’s sad is that the enemy can only cause trouble when those who are called by the name of Christ open the door for it, when they do what they know in their hearts God doesn’t approve of. I’ve been reading 2nd Corinthians lately and learning from Paul much about how I should approach things. It’s fascinating to read what was written two thousand years ago and find myself experiencing the same things. In his letter to the Corinthians Paul expounds on the issues he is facing within that group. It’s hard to imagine, but there were those, who called themselves apostles, within that church, who worked to put doubts in the peoples minds regarding whether or not Paul truly represented Christ. In fact several translations interpret Paul’s reference to them as “Those who call themselves ‘Super Apostles’”. Earlier in the letter Paul talked about those who commend themselves and measure themselves with each other. This I have been seeing more and more, those who pat themselves on the back and are anxious to impress others with how “Spiritual” they are. I see it on TV and have seen it in some of the churches God has led me to visit. There are no accidents in my life, so I know these things I was meant to see. I know why I was meant to see them but that will be between me and the Lord for now.

So, because of the doubt and confusion these false apostles were causing Paul felt it necessary to explain again who he was in the Lord. This is found in chapters eleven and twelve, and is good reading. Elsewhere in the bible we find the instruction that we are not to think more highly of ourselves than we ought. Paul didn’t want to boast in who he was, but had to in order to counteract the poisonous talk of those who wished to be seen as somebody. How I can relate to that. In a church I once attended the pastor would tell others that what I did, I did in the flesh, that the Spirit of God was not with me. In fact she even intimated that I wasn’t saved several times in several ways. The devil delights in this kind of thing, to tear down and not build up, to despise and not love, to steal, kill, and destroy all that is good and glorifies God.

Why do I write this? Why do I expose these things? It’s not anger, it’s not bitterness, though those who wish to justify themselves will accuse me of those motives. It is because of great love and concern. How can I talk with those who refuse to listen, and who have judged me to be an enemy when I desired only to be a friend and fellow servant in the Lord. I can only pray for now, and show love where I can. But I watch the poison spread, and see the effects of gossip increase, and fear for them for the end of that way is not good. Again I relate to what Paul writes here;

You have thought all along that we were defending ourselves to you. [No], in the sight of God we are speaking in Christ, and everything, dear friends, is for building you up. 20 For I fear that perhaps when I come I will not find you to be what I want, and I may not be found by you to be what you want; there may be quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambitions, slander, gossip, arrogance, and disorder. 21 I fear that when I come my God will again humiliate me in your presence, and I will grieve for many who sinned before and have not repented of the uncleanness, sexual immorality, and promiscuity they practiced. (2 Corinthians 12:19)

I’m not saying all these things are present with those who treated me so poorly, but some of them certainly are. I would gladly be humbled in order that they may be found perfect before the Living God. My desire is that they learn the true meaning of Love and practice it. Here is how Paul ends his letter;

Finally, brothers, good-by. Aim for perfection, listen to my appeal, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you. 12 Greet one another with a holy kiss. 13 All the saints send their greetings. 14 May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.

There is so much I want to say, but I’ve learned that anything I say will be interpreted as an attack, as coming from a bitter spirit. I know this and much more, for God has revealed much to me. My desire is only for them to walk as Jesus walked, to be that true light before the world, that no fault be found in them. I was accused of using the scripture to manipulate and control others, and understand that because they view me through that judgment there is nothing I can say that won’t be interpreted negatively. Yet I reach out still, knowing that some among them read this blog to keep tabs on what I am doing. I’ll close this section with the words of Jesus. Yes I am trying to manipulate you, trying to coerce you to do what Jesus commanded, to convince you to love as He loved. What a crime that must be, for me to encourage others to do right. Biting words? Not intended to be but the truth is often uncomfortable.

John 13:4 so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. 5 After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. 6 He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, "Lord, are you going to wash my feet?" 7 Jesus replied, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." 8 "No," said Peter, "you shall never wash my feet." Jesus answered, "Unless I wash you, you have no part with me." 9 "Then, Lord," Simon Peter replied, "not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!" 10 Jesus answered, "A person who has had a bath needs only to wash his feet; his whole body is clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you." 11 For he knew who was going to betray him, and that was why he said not every one was clean. 12 When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. "Do you understand what I have done for you?" he asked them. 13 "You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. 14 Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. 15 I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. 16 I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17 Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.

This happened at the last supper, where Jesus shared the cup of wine that represented His blood, and the bread that represented His body, and foretold of His eminent death, the ultimate act of Love, by which we are saved. And then the final command "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

What do I seek? My desire is to see this in all the churches, to find Love without conditions and judgment.

Moving on to our everyday life on the farm. God has brought into our life an old friend, a piece of my past going back to the days I was in high school. He just showed up out of the blue through facebook and has already filled in some of the blank spaces in my memory. I look forward to meeting with him in person, but that will take a week or so because of his work schedule. As I work on the book, that God is encouraging me to finish, I find great difficulty because of the memory loss from the brain damage. I say this often, for I find it to be true, there are no accidents in my life. Those who find it comforting to say God is not with me choose to not see this, but every day contains miracles, every day shows the hand of God directing and leading us.

I went to the Stanton jail yesterday and had a great bible study with the three men I spoke with last week. We discussed the last days, reading through Mathew 24, where Jesus described what is to come. I explained my belief that we are in those last days, that the time is coming near and told of the evidence we are seeing all around us. This evidence is found in the rise of false teachers and prophets, false doctrines, Islam in the world, nations failing and falling into Islamic control, the world turning against Israel, the rise in famines, droughts, and earthquakes, just to name a few. Jesus said that in these last days the love of many will grow cold, another truth we are seeing played out before us.

There was an old hotel that had been torn down a few weeks ago. There are many good cinder blocks in the rubble that I could use so I kept looking to find someone there and get permission to pick some out of it. Never saw anyone so decided to get some anyway, figuring it was all going to be hauled to the landfill anyway. After teaching at the jail I stopped and started picking up the bricks that were still good. The owner of that lot stopped to make sure I wasn’t stealing copper or scrap that he planned on recovering. I was glad to see him and got permission to get all the cinderblocks I could use. Cool. Always feel better to have permission so that there is no room for someone to speak badly of me.

We got our first harvest of cantaloupe yesterday. I took much of what I picked and took it to the courthouse, where I gave some to the judge, the sheriff, and a few others I know. I always like to do that, give the first fruits of my farm to others. Many of the cantaloupe had split open. I had been withholding water from them because it makes the melons sweeter so it must be this hundred plus degree heat causing them to split open.

We are looking forward to the opportunity to present marriage seminars in prisons and also for those out on parole. It’s an exciting powerful life changing ministry that Cherie and I can do together, and will provide some much needed income. This is another door that God has opened and as always it is in His timing. How grateful I am to have the Lord in our life.

I’m still working on writing my testimony. Trying to keep it short but I’m at seven pages already and barely halfway through. Already skipped so much stuff and will skip a whole lot more before I’m done. But it will help me when it comes to writing the book as well, so that’s a good thing. Hope to finish the testimony today.

Got to go, bye now.

a controlled burn

2011-08-10T08:33:00.001-07:00

The readership of this blog has risen dramatically during the last two weeks. There is a reason for everything.

8/10/11 Wednesday
There has been lots of change in the last day or two. Change is generally good. Cherie’s job didn’t work out and she made the decision to end it. For one thing, the job was more physically demanding than she expected, and caused her lots of pain. Adding to that was the way the company nickeled and dimed it’s employees, not paying for all the miles driven and demanding they spend lots of personal time creating reports when not on the clock. There were other issues as well but all in all it was a good decision to quit. Cherie said it was like a world of weight being lifted from her shoulders. This frees her up to work with me on the marriage seminars. Could be God putting us together for this ministry. I think so. We will go to Houston together for another marriage seminar as part of the training.

We finally had a chance to do that controlled burn. I thought the pile of wood and brush would burn three of four hours but in thirty minutes it was gone, just a pile of ashes with hot coals that would take a day to burn out. With that went a haven for the rabbits that have caused so much damage. One ran out of the pile as it burned. Despite that rabbits still attacked the cantaloupe, and for the first time ate some of the watermelon vine that they had not touched prior to this. I think the reason they ate the watermelon is that all the cantaloupe has been destroyed, with the exception of the Tuscan variety. That is doing well and we are now harvesting cantaloupe from it. With this drought we have the only green vegetation for miles so I’m sure that, desperate for food, rabbits are traveling to the farm. We’ve seen other signs of the devastation this drought and heat are causing. There was a young dove that showed up where our white dove has been getting fed by us. It was clearly in bad shape and two days later died despite having food and water.

Now that the school has ended, (Though we have yet to take the final exam) we were able to once again visit the widow. When I saw the tomato plants we planted for her I realized just how long we had neglected visiting her. Need to be more diligent about that. I spent a couple of hours pruning and guiding the tomato plants up strings. The are now taller than I am, but had been growing on the ground, having long ago topped the four foot tall tomato cages I had put in. I pruned away about half of each plant so they should be healthier for that and make lots of tomatoes.

The heat was…well, hot. The widow has air conditioning, something we aren’t yet blessed to have, so that helped. I would work out in the heat for a short time and run back in for water and to bask in the cool air. Kind of didn’t want to come home to our hot house after that, but our hot house is home. Several have said they could get us a small window unit but it seems that something gets in the way every time.
Duke is fitting in well. What a beautiful dog he is. Now that he is getting fed and loved there is a noticeable improvement in his coat. He is happier now, more secure, and enjoys running and playing. Just like Buddy, Duke can be in the way as he strives to get pets and hugs from me while I work with the garden. How like our relationship with God this is.

The Ministerial Alliance meeting was yesterday. It is always good to get together with fellow servants of the Lord. Fellowship is such a vital part of our faith that Jesus and the writers of the scriptures, both old and new testaments, all talked about it. When it came time for us to break up into small prayer groups, where we discussed and prayed for each others needs, my only request was for the welfare of the church that had rejected me. This surprised the pastors when they learned of it. I didn’t go into detail, just said there was great need. They complimented me on my concern and lack of bitterness regarding that. “I’m not bitter or angry, just have an immense sadness for I know the Lord’s heart, and He is pained too” I explained.

Another pastor we know commented on the reaction he had received from other churches and ministries regarding the fact that he had gathered all who desired to watch the “Response” prayer event that Governor Perry had initiated in Houston, via live streaming video. He was surprised at the nastiness of the emails other ministers, representatives of Jesus, had sent him. Just set him back. I spoke up and told him “Get used to it. For in these last days there will be great persecution and a lot of it will be coming from those who call themselves Christians”. We just talked to another brother in Christ a couple of days ago who had also been kicked out of a church, and it was an amazingly similar story to mine. Lots of control and self righteousness involved, along with using things like the gift of prophesy to say “Thus says the Lord” when it was just using God to justify and manipulate, in addition to protecting their power and authority in the little kingdom they had built for themselves. My heart breaks when I hear these things, for I know the end of those involved will not be good, unless they repent and submit to God, instead of being masters over their flocks, become servants of all.

We had a controlled burn at the farm, but so many things that happen here are mirrors of what will, and sometimes is, happening in the world. There are no accidents in my life, and sometimes it is a wonder to watch, then understand events. Simple things like a white dove showing up and deciding to take up residence, unafraid of the dogs. The dogs, especially Rascal, spend their days chasing birds. There are barn swallows in the same veranda area the dove stays that Rascal chases and jumps in an attempt to reach, yet for some reason he doesn’t even attempt to get the dove that is sitting calmly five feet away. So we nurture this creature, this anomaly of nature, as it has a damaged foot. Biblically a white dove is a symbol of the Holy Spirit of God. Now God’s Holy Spirit can in no way become damaged in itself, but our relationship with it certainly can. What I see around the nation is a gross misuse and misrepresentation of the Holy Spirit. It has become a tool in the hands of others to not only manipulate others but to manipulate God too. On top of that there are many who flaunt their “gifts” like a badge of authority, and use it to impress others with their “spirituality” and place themselves on pedestals, saying “Look at me. Come to me! I’ve got an in with God you don’t!” And in that they follow the footsteps of Lucifer, the most beautiful of God’s angels, wise and talented, the song leader of heaven, who in his pride corrupted and brought down one third of all the angels in heaven. It is a dangerous thing, to think to highly of yourself, to forget that Jesus, the son of God, bowed down and washed His disciples feet, saying “As I have done so should you do also”. It is the last who will be first in the kingdom of heaven, and the first will be last.

Malachi 3:1 "See, I will send my messenger, who will prepare the way before me. Then suddenly the Lord you are seeking will come to his temple; the messenger of the covenant, whom you desire, will come," says the LORD Almighty. 2 But who can endure the day of his coming? Who can stand when he appears? For he will be like a refiner's fire or a launderer's soap. 3 He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver;

There is a controlled burn coming, a refining where the evil in our hearts will be made known, for all to see. Some will repent and return to the Lord they first loved, not the one who has taken first place in their hearts. For many that false god they worship, the one who has replaced the true Lord, is themselves. Humility is false, designed to impress others, and the ones they fool are themselves, thinking they are holy when they are not, believing a lie that will kill them, rushing headlong down a path to destruction, singing and happy, confident in their cause, taking many others down that path with them, gaining comfort from the crowd, seeing it as verification their way is truth, when it is a lie. Willfully blind to the truth in front of them, unwilling to listen when they are warned, their pride clouding out all truth. Destroyers of those who do not conform and agree, judges with evil motives, for in your judgment you make others less and place you on top, thinking in your heart “I’m better than they are” when the Lord loves the least the most. The fire is a warning, a torment with the hope of redemption, the Lord’s last call. Please take heed. Please open your eyes and see.

Wow! Where did that come from? You must be the judge of that.

Drought, physical and spiritual.

2011-08-07T18:31:00.000-07:00

The new corn is doing well. I will be planting a new batch soon, the last batch

8/7/11 Sunday
I’m back from the prison now. Always appreciate the opportunities my Lord makes available to me, and have a deeper realization of how much good can come out of the not so good life I lived. There is power in the testimony of God’s hand on our life, of the miracles He has performed in restoring my life, wife, and faith.

What I participated in was a marriage seminar. “A marriage seminar in prison!!!???” I’m sure you might wonder. Absolutely. Fact is that marriages suffer greatly anytime someone is incarcerated, many end before that person is released and something like 80% end in divorce within a year of a persons release. The figures are even worse for female inmates. In all of this there is much pain and heartache, not just for the married couple but the whole family, especially if there are children.

It was a wonderful time, where we were able to bring the wives into the prison unit for this two day seminar. During regular visits there is normally no physical contact allowed but with the seminar they are able to sit next to each other and even hold hands. A normal visit only lasts a predetermined length of time but with the seminar they were able to spend a total of fifteen or so hours together, under supervision of course. I was there as an observer this first time, to see if this is something I would like to become regularly involved with. It is. I look forward to serving in this ministry.

Turned the TV on and went to the Christian station we can usually get. Once again I heard someone selling God. It would be one thing if the 49 dollar teaching DVD presented the truth but this one was far from the truth. I’m seeing more and more false teachings being presented as the truth, and always for money. This is accepted blindly more and more and those who speak the truth are rejected and even attacked. On the TV at the hotel, where I could get stations not available to us on the farm, I saw stories of men who conned millions out of churches that had the least, and other tales of those who use the name of the Lord for their personal gain. There is great deceit and many who, not aware they were deceived, are passing on the false message they so gladly received, confident they are speaking the truth and leading others to righteousness. These messages appeal to the flesh, speak of gaining wealth and spiritual powers, stroking the ego’s and feeding pride.

Opening the local paper I read the column produced by the pastor that led her church to reject me, and was not surprised at what I saw, just saddened. This pastor, who refused for a year to sit down and talk with me, rushes to talk about me. How can she be so blind? How is it she is unable to recognize the wrong in her actions, unable to discern what a great sin she is committing? Is it because of her age? I know she gets lost and confused as she teaches, so perhaps it is that. I don’t know, I pray for her, love her in the Lord, and fear for her because I know God, that His patience only lasts just so long, and then it’s hammer time. But God’s discipline is only to get us to repent, to change the direction we are heading in, too save us in the end.
You see the patch of green on the third hill on the left? when I left all twenty plus hills visible were covered with melon vines like that. More about that a little farther down

What I read in the paper revealed confusion. She talked of those who think they are saved but are not and said they cause destruction everywhere they go. Salvation is a judgment that only God can make, and anyone who dares to stand in that place of judgment, who puts themselves in the position of God, is deceived and deceiving themselves. She talked of those who know the bible, who can quote it, a not so veiled reference to me, something I’ve heard many times while at that church, and intimates that the person “hates” those who know the Lord. Fact, she has never sat down to talk with me. Fact, she made judgments regarding who I am and how I think, calling it discernment, yet never talked with me. Fact, she gossiped and talked about me to others, under the guise of “spiritual” concern. Fact, she never followed the clear instructions from Jesus, Himself, despite the fact I emailed and wrote them with the hope she would do what Jesus said. Instead, in the hardness of her heart, and stubbornness, she said I was using the scripture to manipulate her, stiffening her neck even farther. Is she unaware that God sent me to this church, that I didn’t come because I wanted to? Or is that just an inconvenient possibility. But now she is talking about destruction. Makes me wonder what has happened for I have no idea. However I do know my Lord, the One she denies I know. Here’s the scripture He gave me a few minutes ago.

Isaiah 44:24 "This is what the LORD says-- your Redeemer, who formed you in the womb: I am the LORD, who has made all things, who alone stretched out the heavens, who spread out the earth by myself, 25 who foils the signs of false prophets and makes fools of diviners, who overthrows the learning of the wise and turns it into nonsense, 26 who carries out the words of his servants and fulfills the predictions of his messengers

Time will tell. I love you pastor Jannie, though you refuse to understand that. I still pray for you and the rest, and will continue to do so. Anytime you wish to talk, I’m here. I serve in many places, both far and near, give much of my time helping others and do it to show the Love of Christ because His Love resides in my heart, and I see through the Lord's eyes.
There were seven Israeli cantaloupe on this hill, they covered the whole thing so you could barely see the ground. Multiply that by 40 hills and you've got an idea of the damage

I missed my farm and was anxious to go out and see what happened over those three days I was gone. It wasn’t all good. Seems the rabbits have almost totally wiped out the Israeli cantaloupe. They don’t mess with the water melon for some reason, bypass them to get to the cantaloupe. I have replanted much of it and will replant more tomorrow. Now that I have permission for a controlled burn I can get rid of one of their hiding places, but there are many more. It’s just hard but that’s a part of farming. If I had the money I could put up fences and other devices to keep rabbits away, along with gophers too. All in time, it will happen as God provides.

The other cantaloupe is doing well, at least the Tuscan variety that rabbits never messed with too much. Some of it has become ripe so I ate the first one just before I left for the prison. Ate another when I got home. Some of it split open. I think that is from too much water or something, though I haven’t watered them much lately because I heard that drought makes melons sweeter. Dogs haven’t messed with them much so that is good. There was one that had a bite mark, and was pulled off the vine, but it was never opened, just played with.

If you want to know what the Lord says about drought, read Jeremiah 14, all of it. It also speaks of the false prophets who say “Peace” when there is no peace.

Each day is a gift from God

2011-08-05T07:07:00.000-07:00

8/5/11 Friday
Praise the Lord for another day. I understand deeply that every day I live is a gift from God. I also understand that each day contains battles that must be won, tests that strengthen me, and revelations that will enable me to better explain the word of God to those in need of it. And in those tests I find my enemy, the devil, using those whom have given him access through the hardness of their hearts, pride, envy, and other doors opened through not submitting to the Lord. Here is today’s scripture.
Here's a picture of the car I died in on November 11, 2001

Mark 8:31 He then began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, chief priests and teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and after three days rise again. 32 He spoke plainly about this, and Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. 33 But when Jesus turned and looked at his disciples, he rebuked Peter. "Get behind me, Satan!" he said. "You do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men." 34 Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 35 For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. 36 What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? 37 Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? 38 If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his Father's glory with the holy angels."

This was an amazing moment, Peter, the man who would become a rock of the early church, being called “Satan” by Jesus. How can this be? What happened here? It’s pretty simple, in a scary way, for Jesus explained it "You do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men." So in that moment Peter was allowing the devil to influence him. It seems like such a harsh thing for Jesus to say, like a slap in the face, but remember, Jesus is the son of God and sees things much more clearly than we do so He knew the source of Peter’s not being happy about Jesus foretelling He would be crucified.

I have been guilty of this too, and I suspect we all have our moments when we are more concerned about the things of men than what God desires. It is hard in this fast paced world to not be caught up with the minute by minute decisions and directions we must choose and get our eyes off of Jesus. But we need to stop, take control of a moment, to meditate on what is going on, to pray a bit, and to see with God’s eyes. All of us fall short of the glory of God, but it is His love, grace, and mercy that restores us to where we should be. However, that only can happen when we recognize the wrong direction we have wandered into and turn away from that. The bible says we are to confess our sins one to another, one of the many clear instructions we have to communicate, to talk and be involved with our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Always, with Christ and God, it is about Love. Not cheap talk like “We love you” without any real action to go with it, but the love that requires some personal sacrifice. Otherwise we are just like what Isaiah prophesied, which prophesy Jesus quoted in Mark 7:6 He replied, "Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you hypocrites; as it is written: " 'These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me”. Real love, as described in 1 Corinthians 13, is like this; 1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.

Was this what we saw and experienced in the little church in Stanton? It is with great sadness I must say “No” but I continue to pray and hope that they will see and understand that for a moment they were not seeking the things of God, but the things of man. I hope for the best, but fear for them should they continue in the hardness of their heart, for God is just and will discipline His children when they go astray.

It was Peter’s words that sparked Jesus’ response, and in the prophesy of Isaiah we hear 'These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me”. So what comes out of our mouths reveals our heart. It is with the mouth we confess our sins and with our mouth we condemn and judge our brothers and sisters.

"Don't you see that nothing that enters a man from the outside can make him 'unclean'? 19 For it doesn't go into his heart but into his stomach, and then out of his body." (In saying this, Jesus declared all foods "clean.") 20 He went on: "What comes out of a man is what makes him 'unclean.' 21 For from within, out of men's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, 22 greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. 23 All these evils come from inside and make a man 'unclean.' " (Jesus in Mark 7)

I will close with this out of James, 3:2 We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check. 3 When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4 Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5 Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. 7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, 8 but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.

I have been accused of using the bible to manipulate people into doing what I want. Strange, at least to me, for I am a preacher of the good news of life in Jesus and the bible is my guide for all things of the Lord. Every preacher that is correctly shepherding the flock, also uses the bible. Is it manipulation, or do they just want to lead people to live in a way that is pleasing to God? All prophets speak to exhort, lift up, guide and lead to righteousness. But those who’s hearts were pricked by the word of God, who were exposed by the light of truth, rebelled against what they knew was right and often persecuted or killed the prophets. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

I have a busy day ahead. Got permission to burn the pile of brush that has become a haven for rabbits and must hurry to do that before the wind picks up. I’m supposed to go to Lamesa and train for a teaching position with People of Principle, but haven’t heard from them yet so am not sure what’s going to happen. Got to go.

A little leaven corrupts the whole group

2011-08-03T10:48:00.000-07:00

8/3/11 Wednesday
11:20 – It is already hot out there and we haven’t reached noon yet. I’ve been mowing the areas of grass that we managed to grow. On these small areas if grass I keep placing the water hoses that leak despite being turned off, so that none of the water is wasted and it encourages the grass to keep spreading out. Eventually they will spread to the point we actually have a lawn. A little unforeseen issue is that anywhere there is something that catches the blowing sand the sand builds up. I have some areas of grass that are almost 24 inches taller than the surrounding surface now, despite it all originally being the same level. Most of the areas are only 6 to 10 inches higher and close to the house it’s not a noticeable problem as the house disrupts the wind.

All of the grass clippings I am saving. Worked hard to get the mower that has a grass catcher running and after much playing have managed to override the governor that kept the RPM so low it would stall out in anything deep. The grass clippings are full of nitrogen, as in fertilizer, while green, so makes wonderful compost. It doesn’t stay green long in this dry heat so I pile it up in the composting bin where it won’t dry out quick. A lot of it I am placing in the center of the melon hills I worked hard to create. There it will provide some protection from the sun baking all the moisture out of the soil and some of the nitrogen will make it’s way into the soil.

I must replant many of the Israeli cantaloupe as the rabbits have discovered that patch. Went out last night to turn the irrigation on and my flashlight revealed a rabbit busily destroying them. I had thought that rabbits didn’t come out at night, that the best time to catch them was dawn and dusk, so that’s when I went out with the shotgun. Never found them at that hour and guess I know why now. Fact is I don’t know much about rabbits at all, other than they are destructive as all get out and prefer young tender plants over stuff that’s been growing a while.

This mornings bible reading included 2 Corinthians 2:5 through verse 11. I read the scriptures with the things we’ve seen and experienced always in mind and so it was with this one.

6 The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient for him. 7 Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. 8 I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him. 9 The reason I wrote you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything. 10 If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him. And what I have forgiven--if there was anything to forgive--I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, 11 in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.

There is a good chance that the person spoken about here is the one mentioned in 1 Corinthians 5, where a member of the church was sleeping with his fathers wife. In that situation the church evidently weren’t doing anything about it, and in fact Paul indicates that they were both arrogant and boastful. Paul gave clear instructions regarding how to deal with this sin and that included casting the man out of the assembly and advised them not to associate with immoral people. “A little leaven leavens the whole loaf” Paul stated, talking about how one persons corruption spreads to infect all around them.

Then Paul makes a statement that has thrown many into a quandary. He said “I have decided to deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of his flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus”. WOW! Do you see though, the final intent of Paul’s heart in this? First his concern is for the whole assembly there, that they not be infected with the sin that so easily creeps into our lives. But finally, that the person referred to be saved in the end, that he make it to heaven and not get condemned to hell.

So here we are a period of time later, and Paul evidently brings this subject up. It appears that the assembly did indeed cast this man out, but now Paul instructs them to forgive this person and “Reaffirm your love for him”. If it’s the same person or not I don’t know, but the principle revealed is one we should give attention to. Jesus said we should “Love your neighbor as yourself” and so it should be with one who had been caught up in sin and ostracized. Our goal, in everything we do, should always be for the betterment of other people, but NEVER for spite, jealousy, or any other personal reason.

Of course I contemplate this in relation to being “Cast out” of the little church in Stanton. What did I do wrong? I really don’t have a clue, because not one person took any time to explain it to me. What I know is what has been said, though no one directly spoke to me. There was all of this round about kind of speaking but no one had the integrity to speak to me. Domingo sat there next to me on that day, as we had class, talking about “Someone” who was in the church trying to change things, but they were doing it “In the flesh” but not “In the Spirit”. I figured he was talking about me so turned and said “Could you say that again” and watched his eyes as he repeated himself, confident that he was speaking the truth and looking directly at me with that righteousness he was given through whomever had filled his heart with such lies.

Paul ended his discourse on this with “I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, 11 in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.” It saddens my heart to know that in this little church Satan has indeed outwitted them, that he was successful in his scheme. My prayer is that they be able to see and understand the great evil they have committed, in the name of the Lord, in the guise of holiness and religion. Still there is no contact and though I reached out to Clarence he has not responded in any way. At the heart of all of this is pride, and there is evidence that the pastor was envious and jealous of the fact that I graduated from bible college and also that I have such a powerful testimony. God, have mercy on them, but bring them around to know the truth that no one else be treated in such a way.

I’ve had my break, drunk more fluids to rehydrate. Now I think I should grab something to eat, then run into town to check mail and deposit a check that came yesterday. The new dog, Duke, is doing well. He’s a beautiful animal. Now we have a white dove and a white dog. It would be real cool if I could get them to pose for a picture together but I know the odds are that will never happen.

May have a new dog

2011-08-01T04:32:00.001-07:00

8/1/11 Monday
First day of August. Triple digit heat predicted for the entire week and no chance for rain forecast. We may have acquired a new dog. A FB friend had this white German Shepherd mix dog show up in the alley behind his house and spoke about it on facebook. For some reason it stirred me. After talking with Cherie we agreed to go see this dog and perhaps bring it home to see how it gets along with the others. Buddy is an outside dog, not allowed in the house, so somewhat lonely at night. Besides he us just too friendly to be a guard dog. Runs up to all for pets, hugs, and love, so that doesn’t do much to deter someone. With all these melons turning ripe we want to discourage the theft we experienced before, where someone went through all the cantaloupe at night, cutting and taking them all whether ripe or not.

When we got to Robert’s house they were waiting for us. The dog was skittish but still readily came to me. Seems to prefers males, which indicates he had a male owner before becoming lost or abandoned. So we brought him home and named him “Duke”. First introduction was with Buddy, who wasn’t sure at first, but the acid test was Rascal and Trixie, who were raised here and view this farm as their property and rightfully insist on being dominant over all other canines that show up. (There have been quite a few over the years) I let them out of the house with trepidation, didn’t know if it would be an instant fight or what, but they got along ok. Time will tell more. Duke seems very laid back and not at all aggressive so it looks promising.

This morning we must run to Odessa college early, have to arrive at 8:00, for preparation for the final exam with the House Performance course. We should leave by 7:00 to get there in time. It’s 6:30 and still dark out so I need to go out with the dogs and let them run, along with interact with Duke. Time to go. I have much more to write about but that will have to wait.
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As you can see, the dogs are getting along. Too bad people can't show the same acceptance.
Spent the day in Odessa. Longest time we've had in the class ever. Spent classroom time reviewing what we learned and then went to the house we will test at to get familiar with the equipment and make a dry run. It was interesting and a good thing for we learned a lot.

Finally made it home by 5:00. Anxious to see if Duke had stayed around and not wandered off, plus there was the fear that he might wander out onto the highway and get run over. We were grateful to find him and Buddy just fine and happy to greet us. I let Rascal and Trixie out and we all went out to walk the farm. They ran, I walked. Duke wanted to play and enjoyed very much the freedom and room to run. It was good to watch.

There is always much on my mind. When I went to the prison Sunday I discovered that I was scheduled to be there at 2:00 pm, not the 9:00 AM I thought. I had a lot of time to burn and making the hour drive back home, only to come back again, didn't make any sense so I drove around looking for a church. Prayed "God, lead me to where you want me to go" and spied a church with a non denominational name so went in. I was warmly greeted and sat to wait on the service. What proceeded was one of the most unusual church services I have ever seen and I prayed hard to not be judgmental but wondered at what I saw. God speaks to me through the scriptures often and I opened my bible and found "Son of man, look with your eyes and hear with your ears and pay attention to everything I am going to show you, for that is why you have been brought here. Tell the house of Israel everything you see." (Ezekiel 40:4)

We live in a world with great spiritual deception, false teachers and false prophets leading many down an emotional and sensual road where deep biblical teaching is replaced with pump you up pep rallies that have little substance. And in the process these teachers and prophets, who love titles and the acclaim of others, make sure they milk the sheep for all they can, especially in the area of finances. I so don't want to be in their shoes when they stand before the living God.

Mathew 2531 "When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. 34 "Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.' 37 "Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?' 40 "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' 41 "Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.' 44 "They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?' 45 "He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.' 46 "Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."

Then there is this in Mathew 7:15 "Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. 16 By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17 Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them. 21 "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' 23 Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'

The pastor of a church we once attended was adamant in exclaiming "It says these people "SAID" they did these things but they really didn't". No, that's not how it reads, and there are other scriptures that talk about those who show lying signs and wonders in order to deceive many, so these people are praying for the sick and claiming healings, and the devil will make things happen in order to continue the lies, and to help others believe the lies. These are the last days and we will be seeing all kinds of stuff, hard to believe stuff, hard not to believe stuff

Mathew 24:24 For false Christs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and miracles to deceive even the elect--if that were possible.

What many don't want to understand is that much of this will be going on IN the church. When the scriptures talk about being drug into the synagogues, persecuted, and beaten, understand that the word synagogue was the closest thing the writers of the scriptures had to describe what we call church today. It is the same spirit, the same self righteousness, the same "I'm better than you are" attitude that killed the prophets, and killed Jesus, that is alive today in the church. Talking to a brother today about other churches he had been involved with where egos and pride overcame humility and servant-hood, and in the process the weak, along with the ones who walked with God, were disliked, seen as threats, talked about, and run off.
Mathew 24:9 "Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. 10 At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, 11 and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. 12 Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, 13 but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.

First rain in almost a year

2011-07-30T07:07:00.000-07:00

7/30/11 Saturday
We had rain!!!! It was a significant, though small and short lived, cloudburst that dumped a decent amount of water for just a few minutes. It’s still early this morning and just getting light enough to see so I look forward to going out with a shovel and seeing how many inches of the surface it was able to penetrate. If it’s deep enough I will be able to get the tractor out for the first time this year and disc up the areas that have been scoured clean by the wind over the last eleven months. Being able to do this will reduce the erosion in those areas, where I have lost up to six inches of the surface soil. My logical mind had assumed that to disc up the soil would only increase the erosion but I learned that it actually decreases it by making the surface chunky and rough. Learned that from watching what other farmers do and seeing the effects as we drove through sand storms that suddenly diminish when we pass freshly disced areas. The problem is that this must be done while the soil is moist, otherwise you just loosen the dirt into fine sand, which will blow away.

This ran came right as we rushed home from the funeral, so I got to run to the house through the downpour wearing my good clothes. We had left my cell phone home in our rush to make the funeral on time and it had the phone numbers of the brothers I was to meet and ride with to the prison in Fort Stockton. So it was twenty miles home and twenty more back to Midland. My phone was ringing on the bed when we walked in and it was Ron inquiring when I would arrive to his house.

Let me speak a little on the funeral. In general funerals are not pleasant times, but this one was the most uplifting one I have ever attended. It was a celebration of life, not a time of mourning and sadness, though there is certainly some sorrow regarding Ken’s sudden departure. As I listened to people testify about the impact Ken had on their lives, and on the lives of hundreds of others, I could only hope that I might have a fraction of that type of effect on the world I touch.

It brought things into perspective. We all will die, period, unless we are alive when Jesus returns, and we will all answer for the choices we make. Having already died and then brought back to life, having gone from being worth (on paper only) over a million dollars to wandering homeless with my memory gone and mind severely damaged, and then having my life, faith, and marriage miraculously restored, I already have a deep awareness of the frailty of life, and a realization of what is ultimately important and what isn’t. The funeral enhanced my awareness and sadness regarding the pettiness of the church people who, fueled by gossip inspired from jealousy, envy, resentment, and suspicion, (and goaded on by the devil, who greatly enjoyed the fruit of his efforts) self righteously kicked me out of church, of the place we should have found friends, security, and fellowship.

Romans 12:9 Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor; 11 not lagging behind in spirit, serving the Lord; 12 rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer, 13 contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality. 14 Bless those who persecute you, bless and do not curse.

I was late meeting Ron, but we got on the road and arrived at the prison gate just in time. Inside I was warmly greeted by many, who all expressed how they had missed my presence and were glad to see me. I was able to get updates from several, whom I’d developed a relationship with, and help assure and advise some of them. I miss going but without reliable transportation and tight funds it has been difficult to get there. I will try to get there more, to overcome the difficulties placed before me. Prison also helps put things into perspective. Here there is division too, a mirror of the outside world, but with much more at stake should an argument break out, for in this realm there is a great propensity for violence and even death. But I met with brothers in Christ who are concerned about what they face when released, and many of them are close to being let out of prison. Some of them have spent decades behind bars, sometimes more years locked up than free, but have an earnest desire to be free of the demons that put them there and a greater desire to follow Christ, knowing that they too will stand before the great throne of judgment.
If you look carefully, you can see some watermelons developing.

There is more but I must go buy some diesel fuel and fire up the tractor before the sun dries the moisture we got. Just a few feet down the road the land hardly looks like it got any rain so we were evidently blessed to have been in the direct path of this shower. Bye now, work to do.

Funeral and prison. Going to be busy

2011-07-29T10:58:00.000-07:00

7/29/11 Friday
This will be a busy day for us. I got up and out on the farm early and got a phone call from a state agency that may help us purchase the equipment needed to pursue the Building Performance Analyst vocation we trained for. Of course there is paperwork and other things I must do to qualify, but we expected that.

At 2:00 we will be attending the funeral of a dear brother in the Lord, who passed away suddenly after getting pneumonia. He was an elder in all things Christian, a gentleman with deep insight and profound vision, who’s depth of spirituality always kept me in awe. Ken would see the positive in every situation, when I had a hard time finding it. I was blessed to meet with him almost weekly at the Hebrew and he greatly enhanced my walk with the Lord. He is missed already but I know it was God’s time for him to come home so look forward to seeing him when we also get there.

After the funeral we must rush home, where I will change clothes and head right back out to meet others to ride to Fort Stockton. There we will be going to the Lynaugh prison unit for a time of prayer and sharing with our brothers in white, who are incarcerated there. We call them brothers in white because Texas State prisons require all the inmates to wear white uniforms, and it’s a lot nicer than calling them convicts, inmates, or prisoners, just a little more respectful. For while they may be in prison because they committed crimes, they are no better or worse than any of the rest of us.
All of us have sinned and all of us come short of the glory of God, but it is through the death of Jesus we are forgiven, and in God’s eyes we are equal. There is no room in the kingdom of God to look down our noses at any one. None of us have room to judge, and in fact that is a dangerous thing to do. God is the judge and part of His judgment will be based on how we judge others, along with every word we say. It is by our words we will be judged so be careful what you say about another.

Saturday I don’t have anything scheduled but Sunday I head to Lamesa, where I will be heading up the prayer and share time with the brothers in white at the Smith prison unit. I look forward to it. That prison has been on lockdown for over a week and just was released from it, so it should be interesting. The lockdown is a yearly event when the entire prison is scoured for weapons, drugs and drug paraphernalia, and any other contraband. I remember those days and it is always a time of stress, when all privileges are put on hold till all is done. It is so good to be free, and even better to have Jesus as my savior so I am free not only from prison but also from all the things that had once enslaved me. My life is a gift and I remind myself of how blessed I am and of the mercy and grace that God has shown me, all the time, lest I should forget and fall back into those things that destroyed me before.

Time to take a shower and get ready for the funeral. We are blessed to have a shower now, which only happened through the love and generosity of our friends in Midland, and greatly enjoy the convenience it offers. Plus on hot days (every day lately) we can get into it and cool off.

It's fun playing detective

2011-07-28T06:47:00.000-07:00

This morning's sunrise

7/28/11 Thursday
It’s kinda fun playing detective. Of course my mysterious anonymous commenter would attribute that to being paranoid, a theme he/she has been focused on lately. So, out of curiosity, (not paranoia) I started researching who this person is and also looking at everything they have looked at and downloaded from my blog. That in itself has been revealing. You see, anonymous, I’m not paranoid, but I am eternally curious and probably a lot smarter than you are used to dealing with.

There are actually two anonymous posters who are apparently pushing the paranoid agenda, though I have many who comment anonymously, and I am fine with all of them, even if they disagree, for such is communication. There are two IP addresses are the ones that show up related to all the comments in question. Interestingly enough one of them posted this comment April 4th

It's my idea, 'to be sold out to God', is when there is no doubt in heart or mind and we get up every morning knowing God is with me; and I am to live according to his instructions, and to be a shining light to all that see me, know me, and come into the arena with me. It is the 'power of being alive'. Not of myself. God is the source, of all good. We are to tell others. Our life is our story.

Strange how their attitude seems to have changed.

Unfortunately, with the tremendous increase in readership since this church so eagerly went against everything the scriptures, and our Lord Jesus, instructed, there is a crowd of visitors to sift through and determine which ones left the comment, versus just read it. But it can be done by careful analysis for Statcounter keeps a record of all activity. I know every page they visit, what pictures they download, how long they visit each page, and what searches they do, whether google, Bing, or some other search engine. It appears that the same computer used to make the initial reference to being paranoid, which by the way wasn’t signed Ricardo, is also the one making comments not using the name Ricardo but suggesting I go look at the Link Ricardo put up. Here’s the fun detective part, the initial link comment was not signed at all, so how do you, Mr, or Mrs, Anonymous, know it was Ricardo? Ricardo’s name wasn’t used till I mentioned my dear brother whom I loved and respected in a blog post so the evidence indicates the two are the same person or at least know each other.

Then the last comment, posted from the same computer, changed it’s tone after I deleted the personal attack ones from that computer as well. Now it’s “Bob, you should really give some consideration to Ricardo's comments.
You are in my prayers. Hope the cantoloupes are bountiful”
Another picture of this morning's sunrise

So here is my problem with all this. Basically we have deception at the root of it all. Someone using a name that is not their own, continuing to lie about it as they protest “There are many Ricardo’s” (Yes, but they don’t all use the same computer) and I suspect that all of this is a smoke screen as they continue to cover and excuse their actions, for I see strong indications they are connected to the Hosanna church. Oooh, is that more paranoia? Or just tracking down lies and liars? This is classic, to make someone look bad or unstable in order to reduce the value of their words or to justify your actions. Fact is no one, except the real Ricardo, has spent enough time with me to make anything resembling an accurate diagnoses of paranoia, or for that matter any kind of judgment regarding who I am at all. So keep on trying to cover your ass, and the whole world watches, many laughing and crying with me. Laughing at the absurdity but crying because of the sadness of it all. When you do what is right, talk to me, pray WITH me, acknowledge the truth, then God will be glorified.

So lets bring this all to a biblical conclusion. The devil is a liar, and the father of all liars. God is all about the truth and there is no lie or deception in Him, at all, not a shred. Even if you deceive in the name of the Lord, to try and accomplish some good or noble purpose, you are still a liar and the truth is not in you. I know more than one person, who, in their attempt at claiming spiritual healing and denying any lack of faith (Because their false theology says that it is lack of faith that results in miraculous healings not taking place) claim that despite serious surgery to correct serious documented issues, when the doctors went in everything was fine but they went ahead and performed the surgery anyway. So, do you lie to increase others faith, or do you lie to make it look like your faith is great and keep up the false image you present to the world? And do you lie, deceive, or put up a false face, saying nice things to look good, to cover a problem you created? A lie is a lie and the devil is the father of it, period. God is not mocked, and not fooled for he knows our hearts.

So enough of this. I’ve got farming to do and frankly, all you who make insinuations while trying to hide, you are not worth my time. We all answer to God for every idle word and the things we do. But my concern is for your spiritual well being and if you want to email me privately so we can talk it’s bobcarver2@yahoo.com. Even if I was rampantly paranoid, that would not justify what this church did nor the way they did it, for Christ is about healing, unity, loving, caring, reaching out to those in need, and is very much against all forms of hypocrisy and discord.

I will rejoice and be glad

2011-07-27T09:29:00.000-07:00

7/27/11 Wednesday
It’s another day, a day the Lord has made, I will rejoice in it and be glad, for that is what the scriptures say I should do. Some days it is harder to rejoice than others but this is all a matter of choice. When the storms rage around me and it seems that evil runs openly free, I look to the future, to the hope of that day when we shall all stand before the Living God, and receive our reward. So for me and the many who have submitted to God, it will be a good day, but for others, a terrible day as they realize they have fallen short. It’s hard to rejoice knowing that some who I know and care deeply for may fall into that last category. This morning’s devotional that I am sharing with my wife is on the parable of the wheat and the weeds, as found in Mathew 13.

24 Jesus told them another parable: "The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field. 25 But while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away. 26 When the wheat sprouted and formed heads, then the weeds also appeared. 27 "The owner's servants came to him and said, 'Sir, didn't you sow good seed in your field? Where then did the weeds come from?' 28 " 'An enemy did this,' he replied. "The servants asked him, 'Do you want us to go and pull them up?' 29 " 'No,' he answered, 'because while you are pulling the weeds, you may root up the wheat with them. 30 Let both grow together until the harvest. At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.' "

Jesus explains this parable to his disciples a few verses later, and I will post that as well. Meantime, lets look at some of the keys revealed in this. First of all, we are talking about the Kingdom of heaven, a study of which will require writing a small book. Jesus told a whole series of parables here, starting each one with the phrase “The kingdom of heaven is like”. All of these parables speak of the end results of an activity, of a path to a goal, so clearly the Kingdom of Heaven is something to be strived for. In several of the parables there is a sorting out of good versus bad, with both being mixed together. Jesus started this series of parables with the one about the sower of seeds, where some fell on no soil, bad soil, and good soil. That parable preceded the one about the wheat and weeds and they all relate with each other, together building a picture that is important for us all to see. But let me focus on the one about wheat and weeds.

Verse 25 states “But while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds” and that is a critical point. Today, we have a church that is both divided and asleep, very much unarmed and unaware of the dangers assailing it on every quarter. Our enemy is smart, and will take advantage of every weakness we have, in fact has lulled many asleep through false doctrines and complacency, that comes with wealth and comfort.

The next verse says “when the wheat sprouted, and formed heads, THEN the weeds also appeared. I’m a farmer and have grown both wheat and rye grain. When all of them first come up it is difficult to tell the difference between them and other grasses that grow wild out here. It takes a while before they begin forming heads of wheat on them, but even then there are some wild grasses that still look very similar, however it is when someone who knows can tell the difference.

The servants came and told their master about the weeds growing in the midst of the wheat and asked “Do you want us to go and pull them up?”. As a farmer, his answer puzzles me, for he told his servants “No, because while you are pulling the weeds, you may root up the wheat with them. 30 Let both grow together until the harvest”. I spend a great amount of time, just about every day, pulling up weeds, for if I don’t they will grow up and choke out the crops I have. But I must admit, no matter how careful I am, I invariably take out a good plant or two in the process.

So why does the master, and in the reality of our lives and church today, God, allow the weeds to remain, knowing they will cause damage to the wheat? Why do we have, in every church, both good and evil together? Here comes an answer that many will not like or accept. It is because God only wants that which is strong and pure, that which can pass the tests of life, to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Time and time again we find Jesus clearly proclaiming this primary principle of truth, Not everyone will make it. "Enter through the narrow gate ; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. 14 "For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it. (Mathew 7:13)

In addition to this being a purifying process, where only that which can overcome the obstacles and tests set before it survive, we also find the mercy of God. For His concern is that some good wheat may be uprooted along with the weeds and in His love for us, for those who may be uprooted, decides to leave them to grow together. "What do you think ? If any man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go and search for the one that is straying ? 13 "If it turns out that he finds it, truly I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine which have not gone astray. 14 "So it is not the will of your Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones perish. (Mathew 18:12)

Now it’s time to look at Jesus’ explanation of this parable.

36 Then he left the crowd and went into the house. His disciples came to him and said, "Explain to us the parable of the weeds in the field." 37 He answered, "The one who sowed the good seed is the Son of Man. 38 The field is the world, and the good seed stands for the sons of the kingdom. The weeds are the sons of the evil one, 39 and the enemy who sows them is the devil. The harvest is the end of the age, and the harvesters are angels. 40 "As the weeds are pulled up and burned in the fire, so it will be at the end of the age. 41 The Son of Man will send out his angels, and they will weed out of his kingdom everything that causes sin and all who do evil. 42 They will throw them into the fiery furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. 43 Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father. He who has ears, let him hear.

This is pretty self explanatory, but I want to point out something. Jesus is plainly referring to the last day, the final day of judgment, as He says in verse 39. How does this fit with the rapture doctrine taught around the world? It doesn’t, not even a little bit. Make note that the angels are gathering up the weeds, all those that CAUSE SIN and all who do evil. In the New American Standard translation it reads The Son of Man will send forth His angels, and they will gather out of His kingdom all stumbling blocks, and those who commit lawlessness. Remember, these are those who are in the church, growing together with the wheat.

How I fear for those in church, who are confident in their religion yet run headlong into error, and in the process drag many others along with them, blinded by their pride and arrogance. That “I’m better than you” attitude is the basis for judgmentalism, for if you understood that we are all sinners, saved by grace, but still full of faults, then you know you have no room to look down on another. Plus, if you truly love that person who’s faults you see, then you reach out to them and try to help them become better and more pleasing to the Lord.

Jesus always says it best “And He called a child to Himself and set him before them, 3 and said, "Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 "Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5 "And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me; 6 but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea”.

Unlike the rapture scenario, where the good Christians are taken away, and the rest are left behind, here we find that the bad people are gathered up by the angels, and thrown into hell, while the righteous remain. A careful study of the entire bible will find this to be the scenario spelled out again and again, clearly telling of what will come.

I have work to do. God is great and loves us all, no matter how big our faults, but there is a standard He has, a measure He will require us to meet in order to inherit that reward. I strive daily to be that person God desires, to be found acceptable. Only He is the judge and only His opinion matters. Be careful about deceiving yourself, watch and examine your heart.

1 Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. 2 Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. 3 If any of you think you are something when you are nothing, you deceive yourselves. 4 Each of you should test your own actions. Then you can take pride in yourself, without comparing yourself to somebody else, 5 for each of you should carry your own load. 6 Nevertheless, those who receive instruction in the word should share all good things with their instructor. 7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. People reap what they sow. 8 Those who sow to please their sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; those who sow to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. 9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 10 Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. (Galatians 6)

I have been told, more than once, that I use the scriptures to manipulate others into doing what I want. It’s part of the written accusations from my pastor. I am a preacher of righteousness, and like all who represent the living God, depend on the scriptures to point out the correct way to live and act. Whether or not these scriptures are being used properly, they are the word of God, and if they apply to your life then pay attention. For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12)

It's Midnight. Reading the bible and praying as usual

2011-07-26T22:04:00.000-07:00

7/26/11 Wednesday
It’s almost midnight, almost Wednesday so I went ahead and put that date on this post. It will be Wednesday by the time I finish writing this. I’ve read all of Philippians and will finish Colossians before I call it a night. Went out and prayed for a while. It is nice to pray outside under the stars and the calmness of the night. It’s still pretty warm out but much cooler than the 103 degrees it hit today. I read a comment from a brother I dearly care for and see that he too has been drawn into the poison that is the fruit of this disgraceful action of the church. Here’s a scripture I just read in Colossians 3:12 So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience ; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone ; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. 14 Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. 15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body ; and be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.

Ahh, the way it should be, unity, fellowship, truth, and true love, where you choose what is good for the other person, not what you want for yourself. How Jesus’ heart must have cried when they, in anger and self righteousness, violated the very heart of our faith. Lord be merciful to them, restore them and show them the great sin they have committed, that they might turn from such things, and future visitors will find the truth, not judgment. I suspect that the pastor saw me as a threat to her pedestal, the place of honor she has where so many adore and look up to her, a dangerous place to be for when all look up to you pride can easily set in.

That is why Jesus said this in Mathew 23:1 Then Jesus spoke to the crowds and to His disciples, 2 saying : "The scribes and the Pharisees have seated themselves in the chair of Moses ; 3 therefore all that they tell you, do and observe, but do not do according to their deeds ; for they say things and do not do them. 4 "They tie up heavy burdens and lay them on men's shoulders, but they themselves are unwilling to move them with so much as a finger. 5 "But they do all their deeds to be noticed by men ; for they broaden their phylacteries and lengthen the tassels of their garments. 6 "They love the place of honor at banquets and the chief seats in the synagogues, 7 and respectful greetings in the market places, and being called Rabbi by men. 8 "But do not be called Rabbi ; for One is your Teacher, and you are all brothers. 9 "Do not call anyone on earth your father ; for One is your Father, He who is in heaven. 10 "Do not be called leaders ; for One is your Leader, that is, Christ. 11 "But the greatest among you shall be your servant. 12 "Whoever exalts himself shall be humbled ; and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted.

A good part of Jesus’ ministry was to show by example that trait He most desired to see in us, humility. Jesus, the son of God, creator of the universe, humbled Himself to die a horrible death after being mocked, spit on, laughed at, and beaten till He was unrecognizable. He washed the disciples feet, instructing them this is the way they needed to act. He said that the first shall be last, the greatest will be brought low and the least raised up. Poor Jannie hasn’t seemed to get this, that to be a pastor means to be a servant to all. She told the story several times of the woman who called her, who was sick apparently with an intense fever, and asked for Jannie to come over and wipe her forehead with a wet cloth. “Some people have no idea of what a pastor is, or how they should be treated” she harrumphed “She actually expected me to go over there” Jannie said with great indignation. I listened and cried inside, amazed at the blindness I was seeing and her total lack of comprehension of the heart of God. This is why God sent me to that church. I evidently failed in my mission, but pray for her still.

Colossians 3:23 Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, 24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve. 25 For he who does wrong will receive the consequences of the wrong which he has done, and that without partiality.

The firestorm has started

2011-07-26T07:08:00.000-07:00

Our white dove is a daily visitor now. Such a strange phenomenon, a white dove with no fear of us, and that the dogs leave alone. Is it a sign from above?

Proverbs 24:10 If you falter in a time of trouble, how small is your strength! 11 Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter. 12 If you say, "But we knew nothing about this," does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not he who guards your life know it? Will he not repay everyone according to what they have done?

7/26/11 Tuesday
The firestorm over my being escorted out of church has started, with the perpetrators working to justify their actions, and ignoring the inconvenient fact that they did not follow the scriptures in any way during all of this. Such is the way of self righteousness, of the spirit of the Pharisees, who were blind to the truth before them in the person of Jesus Christ. For me, it was no surprise. Jesus promised that those who stood up for the truth would be persecuted and explained that that persecution would come from religious leaders in many cases as He described being drug into synagogues and beaten. A synagogue was the best word He had to describe church, for the word “Church” really didn’t exist then. The synagogue was the place where people who worshipped the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, our God, gathered. And so it is now. Jesus’ main commandment was to Love the Lord your God, and your neighbor as you love yourself.
Today's picture of the dove.

Not a single person spent any real time with me, with the exception of a brother named Ricardo, who has been exemplary in his behavior and whom I love with the love of the Lord. So with that one exception we have a whole church that said “We love you” but never put the words to action. Oh, we were given $500 towards fixing our bathroom, and that has already been thrown up as evidence of their “love” as they squirm to ignore the reality that there was no real fellowship, no communication, and little truth. I am sad, and will continue to pray that they come to see and understand the truth of their actions. The latest angle now is an accusation that I am paranoid, as if that makes things better. I laughed when I read that in the comments of yesterday’s post. Of course they are bringing up the fact that I have a brain injury too, an expected tactic of denial and justification. But the sad fact is this, if I was paranoid, Why didn’t you talk with me to help me understand I was loved and there had no reason to worry about gossip? If my brain injury was to blame, why didn’t you practice what is found in 1 Corinthians 13 where it says “Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous ; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly ; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth ; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

The truth is, this was not practiced, period, not in any way I could see. The scripture describes sin as knowing what is the right thing to do, and not doing it. But pride, and arrogance, blinds the eyes and those who are enslaved by that false sense of “I’m so holy, look at me” are treading dangerous waters as they refuse to recognize any fault within them. We have all sinned and we all fall short of the glory of God, but the truly righteous are the ones who recognize this and humble themselves before the living God, knowing they must rely on His grace and mercy. Proverbs 24 says “for though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again, but the wicked stumble when calamity strikes.” So I know we all fall. The key is to recognize when you fail to do what you know is the right thing, repent of that, get up and work to make it right. But to do so would require admitting you did something wrong, and that is where pride rears it’s ugly head. Pride, you understand, was and is the source of all sin, and is what displeases our Lord most. Pride is a deadly thing to allow in, and if allowed to flourish opens the door for satan to enter and wreak havoc with all that is good in your life.

Among the accusations leveled against me, not to my face but revealed in the one letter Jannie, the pastor, wrote, was that I was nit picking everyone. Not to my knowledge and at no time do I recall purposely nit picking. Coupled with that was the statement that I know the word of God and because of that talked down to everyone. What this sounds like is that as I read the word of God and expounded on it, conviction would set in. For the Spirit of the Lord is with me, I am His servant, raised from the dead and called to serve His will. The pastor accused me of using the bible at every bible study to attack and manipulate her. Sounds like conviction to me. My only desire was and is that we all do what is pleasing to the Lord, who died to set us free from the sin that so easily befalls us.

Nuff said about this. With great sadness I said to the Lord “They are yours God, do what is pleasing to you, let Your hand come down so that they may see the error of their ways, repent, and be restored. But be merciful.” What they don’t seem to know is that I have been interceding for them for almost a year, praying morning and night for their eyes to be opened to themselves, and thus staying the hand of God.

Back to the farm. Rabbit still cause lots of damage but much has grown past the point they can destroy. The rabbits seem to prefer young tender plants and haven’t seemed to mess with the ones that have grown past a certain point. We bought some live traps at Harbor Freight and have caught six rats so far. Some of those rats are big and bad enough to force their way out of the traps, bending the metal as they do so. Horned tomato worms, really caterpillars, are out in force, devastating some of the tomato plants. We picked off a dozen or more and today I will take some of our bottled water and spray the plants so that the BT dust will stick to the leaves. We can’t use the well water as it is so salty it will burn the leaves. Thus it is with farming, always a struggle with nature. So the battle goes on. I got up at 5:30 this morning to go out and work and pray. Turned the drip irrigation off that I ran all night long. That way less salt gets deposited on the surface. It will be another 103 degree day so enough of this writing. Time to get to work. Those that judge have talked about how I don’t have a job but I work from day break to after dark building this dream of having a farm we can live off of.