Nothing easy

7/31/14 Thursday

            In my busyness I forgot about this blog again. Had an email from the newspaper that showed someone had accessed an old post and a picture of Rascal when he was a puppy. They track who accesses things because our blog has a link from the papers website. Going back and reading the old posts from 2007 revealed how far I have come regarding the brain injury. At that time I was still having seizures and struggled to understand things or people. I still struggle to understand people and probably always will. What bothers me the most is how many wear their “I’m a Christian” label but seem to not understand what that means. So many have their “God in a box”, a box that fits who they want God to be and allows them to live any way they choose, justifying all the hypocrisy. They choose a god in the box that requires no personal sacrifice and little personal discipline, one that makes them happy and allows them to despise or ignore everything outside of their comfort zone.

            The seizures have been gone for years now. Praise God for that. It was sad to see Rascal as a little puppy right after we got him and Trixie, because he is gone now. The cancer that took him was a horrible experience but we loved him the best we could, making his last months as joyous as possible. We still miss him and so does his sister, Trixie. She hasn’t been the same since. But this is life. There is no life without death and often death brings life. As a follower of Christ I died to my old way of living and all the things that held me bound, but now I am set free, born again, and have a new life to live, one that hopefully shines a light in the darkness that surrounds us.

            Things are going slowly here. Nothing is easy and there are always problems to overcome. The Oasis project is a struggle. Now that I am no longer with A-1 we don’t have a source of income. I hoped to sell trucks we bought at auction but failed to take into account that people can go to a dealer and get financing. Had a few potential buyers ask if I would take payments and I did not want to get into that zoo because if they missed payments I would have to repo or go to court. So despite having good trucks at great prices we haven’t sold any. Someone broke the glass out of the driver’s door of the 2004 F150 we had at the Oasis store on the interstate. They rummaged through the glove compartment and did not take anything.

            So we sit on a potential gold mine with the Oasis store but are having a hard time buying food or gas for the vehicles. It is frustrating. Some have helped us a little with personal needs but the help I really need is to create a business of some kind. We are working with Midland College on a business plan. That is going slow because I still have a hard time organizing and following through on things. Had a friend suggest I get on disability because, to use his words “You are really disabled”. That disturbed me a lot. I sent him an email explaining that if I ever declared myself disabled that would close the door for any kind of a future so would not do so. He did not respond or answer my phone call. That too bothers me, how some of my brothers and sisters in Christ distance themselves because we are in need.

            That’s it for now. Lots to do. We had a rare rain last night so I must get some diesel fuel for the tractor and move dirt while it is wet. Once it dries it becomes hard as a rock. Will work on the cabin spaces at the store and must disc here on the farm. As always I will try to update this blog more often, but history shows I haven’t been good at that.