To break a hard heart

10/14/10 Thursday
I love the cool nights and mornings. Normally that would mean that both Cherie and I sleep better but such was not the case last night. Cherie had gone to see her Chiropractor yesterday to get adjusted after falling down a few days ago. He said “Whatever you’re doing, quit” after looking at her back. I told Cherie that I agreed with him so she needed to quit falling down. She feels better this morning but her hip pain from the fall kept up most of the night. I had unsettling dreams that, from their random nature, were a result of being restless and not enjoying a deep sleep.

When I checked statcounter (my tracking software program that tells me who visits, when, and what they looked at) last night I was astounded to see 459 visitors to the blog. Wow, that’s a record for sure. Looking at the details more closely I found that someone in Toledo, using a browser I’m not familiar with called Chrome, has downloaded over 400 pages of the blog. Curious to be sure. If I wanted to make the extra effort I could chase down the IP address and narrow down who it is, or at least what company they came from if it was on a company computer. I really don’t have the time. There are many times I wonder about my visitors but unless they are doing something threatening of unsavory I’m not that worried about it. I get some anonymous comments that I could easily do that with as the exact time they comment is recorded so that makes it easy but it hasn’t been that important to me. There are too many things I need to do every day and I seldom finish my tasks as it is so don’t need to get distracted chasing ghosts.

At church we have a guest in from Africa. His name is Mwambi, and he is a bishop overseeing churches and ministries throughout south Africa. He’ll be here till Sunday or Monday, not sure exactly, and will start services and ministering at the church Friday through Sunday. Our church is named Hosanna and it’s right at the main Stanton exit off of interstate 20 and 137, on the north side. Of course everyone is welcome to come. I apologize for not knowing the exact times. I’ll presume they start at 7:00 pm but presuming is seldom a good thing to do. It was all announced but little details like times and names are the kind of things I forget easiest. (I checked, it is at 7:00 all three days

“This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice in it and be glad” is how I choose to start this day. That’s a scripture somewhere in the bible that I’ll look up later, but I don’t know where it is at the moment. It is a good declaration to make, a good attitude to start the day with. Things might be tough, money might be extremely tight (especially after the VA seized our check), people we love may abuse and reject us, someone has shot two of our dogs, and things look bleak for the future, but this is the day the Lord has made and I WILL rejoice in it and be glad. No matter how bad it seems I know there is a world of people who are in much worse shape, who are going through trials that would make me quiver, who do not have food to eat or a warm safe place to sleep, so I am blessed and have no room to complain. My life is a gift and my God has a plan for me, so in that I will trust. There are those who lay in wait to disrupt our life and desire we not succeed, and there are those who unknowingly are the tools of our enemy, who’s pride and anger are inflamed against us. Having a form of godliness yet they deny Him by their actions. The truth is not in them or it is quenched by their pride. We pray for them.

This morning I fast regarding that. Interestingly he called me a prophet and when I replied that I make no claim of being a prophet his response was that I write like one. I do know things on occasion, there are revelations I receive that end up being true, but that doesn’t make me a prophet. All true Christians have the Holy Spirit residing within and through that God will do some wondrous things. I can recognize the spirits that operate in the lives of some, and I sometimes know what God will do in His attempt to get their attention. This I know, that a rebellious child of God will be disciplined, and I fear for some we know, for the error of their way will be made known. What will it take to break through a hard heart?

The scripture for today is this, found in Hebrews 12:6 because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." 7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? 8 If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. 9 Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! 10 Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. 12 Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. 13 "Make level paths for your feet," so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed. 14 Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. 15 See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

Always work to do. Love this cooler weather. Bye now.
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11:24 – Been out clearing weeds, and praying. There’s been a lot of praying lately. Something has changed, something is in the air, and with it comes this urgency to reach out to God. I started to have chest pains so came in to take a couple of aspirin like I always do when this happens. They always go away when I do. Haven’t eaten yet because I felt I should fast this morning. They say that fasting helps you break through to God. Jesus, when asked by His disciples why they had difficulty casting out a demon, told them “This kinds comes out only through prayer and fasting”, or something like that. The Bible says that we can find God when we seek Him with all our heart. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

I do seek the Lord, I do long for His touch on my life. In all our trials and troubles it is God to whom we turn, God who is our deliverer. One of my prayers is “Where is the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Joseph? Where are the wonders I read about in the bible?”. It’s not a prayer of doubt but a prayer of longing in this world. I know there are hard times coming, and I know they are just around the corner. The false prophets say “Peace and security” when the truth is there will be calamity. They pronounce “Prosperity” but their riches will vanish away. The fountains of their supply will dry up and they will be confused, wondering what happened. It is then, I pray, that they will repent of their wicked ways and return to the Lord.
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Heard a voice call as I was out in the back chopping weeds. It was a thin Mexican man who crouched down as the dogs ran barking towards him. I called the dogs back to me and walked over to him. He asked in broken English if I had some water. He carried a stick and small bag so it was apparent he was traveling on foot. I gave him two bottles of water and asked if he was hungry. He said he was so I went to the kitchen and opened the fridge to see what we had to offer. There were two pieces of chicken that Cherie had brought home from work so I got one out for him and grabbed the other for myself. We sat on the veranda as we ate and he asked if I was married, had children, and what the truck was for. I explained that the truck used to be a cable company truck that I got a good deal on but that it only had two gears that worked now. Asking where he was from didn’t get me a clear answer but he mentioned a city where his nephew had sold some dogs at. Asked where he was going and couldn’t understand the answer, Farmville or something like that. He asked which way Lubbock was so that gave me an idea of where he was heading. Had to get the mail anyway so I gave him a ride to 137 and showed him which direction to go. Dropped him off where our church, Hosanna, is so I pointed that out and said “That’s my church”. He asked “What day is it?” so I said “Thursday”. I had grabbed two more bottles of water for him and asked if he needed any money. He kinda said “yes” so I gave him the three dollar bills that were all I had in the wallet. Told him I would pray for him and dropped him off. Hope he’s ok, and hope he knows God. I’ve lived on the streets more than once so know how it is.