1/31/11 MondayHard to believe, it’s the last day of the month. Wow, sure flew by fast. It’s been an interesting month, but every month is interesting, at least to me. The frustration of the bathroom is still going on, but at least there has been progress. This fiasco has caused deep depression in my wife and seems to be creating problems elsewhere.
In church I asked the lady, who started all this with a lie, to forgive me. “Why” she asked, so I started to tell her I had been angry because she started this mess 3 months ago and then disappeared. I never got to finish my sentence. She went off, saying “Your not asking for forgiveness” as she pointed her finger at me accusingly. Cherie, having deep hurts because of this, left the room, not desiring to hear any of this ladies tirade. And it was a tirade. She told me she was tired of me harassing her and that if I kept it up she would be forced to do something about it, very much a veiled threat, of what I haven’t a clue. When I protested that I haven’t even spoken to her about this, and for that matter haven’t spoken to her in three months, it fell on deaf ears. She practically screamed “you want me to forgive you? I forgive you, I forgave you last time we talked about it” and stormed out. (I've never talked to her about it) Every contact with her come with a display of this tension, obvious evidence, at least to me, that there is no forgiveness and a definite lingering bitterness, for what I don’t know for sure but have some suspicions about.
Unfortunately this all happened publicly in church. I had waited till Sunday school had ended and most had left the room but it spilled out to the sanctuary. Now I must wonder what will come of it. The pastor talked a bit about gossip and the power of the tongue, quoting from James. We long for friendships there but there has been no closeness that has developed yet. Why is there this distance? What do people say behind closed doors? I will trust in the Lord, and trust that He will work it out, that Jesus’ only command, that we love The Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength, and Love our neighbor as our self, will be practiced. Meantime we feel like we are outside looking in. I try to assure Cherie, telling her that God led us to that church for a reason and that we should submit to the leadership and wait till His purpose is revealed.
So it’s been three months and we still don’t have a complete bathroom, but we are much closer now. I called Ricardo yesterday and apologized for being angry the day before. He had promised to be here Saturday and work on it but his plumber friend blew us off again and Ricardo was in another part of Texas working on a job. When I called him to see when they would show up and learned this I expressed my frustration. The pastor mentioned something about how people want others to do for them all the time and I had to wonder if she was expressing her feelings about us. As a result I told Ricardo that we would take care of our bathroom our self, and wouldn’t rely on anyone else to help. Relying on others to keep their word hasn’t worked out well. We never asked for this, we never said a word about our bathroom, it was all someone else’s idea that was thrust on us. And now someone is judging us for it? Ricardo offered several times to help us buy the parts needed but I told him no. He’s a great brother and was roped into this so it’s not his fault at all. Fact is Ricardo is the only person in the church who has spent any time talking with me regarding anything of depth. Basically that means he knows me better than anyone else there. I know his heart and he is real, and we are blessed to know him.
There’s good news, a storm is coming. It’s supposed to blow in tonight and bring with it snow and ice. I bought a new bar for the chain saw, so it’s back up and running. Sure have worn out some parts on that machine. With this storm comes some pretty cold temperatures so I will go cut a load of firewood and get it inside the house today. It hasn’t rained in over three months so we are grateful for any moisture we can get but I must prepare for what’s coming. I sense in my spirit that there are some other storms coming as well, and they are not as easy to prepare for. For them we have God as our cover and comforter. Through it all we will be stronger for the difficulty.
Got to go cut some wood so bye now.
2 comments:
It's too bad the woman at your church isn't mature enough to not have a conversation with you. I am sorry Bob that you are going through this...I know you and Cherie, and for you to be treated in a shabby way by those who "profess" to be Christians is disheartening. So, on another note, your pastor is a woman? Or did I misread that? Well, it's cold here tonight, already below freezing. The wood stove is having a hard time keeping up. We have the kerosene heater going in the bedroom. Was fortunate to find a local place that sells heater kerosene at a very affordable price. I was paying $24.99 for a 2.3 gallon jug at Academy, but a local fuel/oil place sells it for $4 a gallon, so I can get 4 gallons for less than the price of 2! So, I have filled up all the empty containers, and we are toasty warm. Praise God!
I had to hang a quilt over the bedroom window due to the draft. I can see it billowing in and out, but without the quilt, it would be unbearable in the bedroom. Need better weatherstripping I guess.
Love is the hallmark of Christianity, but also seems to be hard to find. Folks are happy to love their friends and love when it's easy and others are watching, but when it's not convenient it seems to disappear.
Seems the well has frozen so I've got work to do.
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