Monday, February 28, 2011

Wind died down. Thoughts on Charlie Sheen

2/28/11 Monday
The wind has died down and it’s to be a nice quiet day today. I went out with the camera to take pictures of what the wind brought. Things weren’t as bad as I thought they might be, as bad as we’ve seen with sandstorms in the past, but it was just a cursory walk around so I’m sure I’ll find some stuff later. Meantime we’re grateful there hasn’t been a lot of damage done. I took some pictures to show how the sand builds up around anything that will cause an eddy in the wind so it will deposit what is being carried. Our land is several feet higher than the farms around us, due to how much dirt has collected in the weeds and grass over the decades and how much has been eroded away from the plowed fields.

It’s dry, so dry. We haven’t had a measurable rain for almost half a year now. What will this year bring? Will we get enough rain to wash the salt out of the soil that has built up from the irrigation? Will we get enough to plant and grow any crops? These are the questions we face every year, the questions all dry land farmers face. We will have to depend on the Lord more this year than ever before, depend on Him to supply our needs for this farm and for all our future hopes. So watch and see, what the Lord can do.

I was watching the short clips of an interview with Charlie Sheen on ABC, where a reporter was allowed to spend a whole day with the actor. It brought back lots of memories of my last days before the accident, of my slide into madness. Charlie was bragging about how much crack cocaine he would use at one setting, talking about how “normal” people couldn’t handle it. Multiple times he expressed his belief that he was beyond normal people on both a physical and mental level and essentially showed his “I’m superman” disconnect from reality.

This is a psychosis that is directly related to Charlie’s intense drug use and something I’ve seen and experienced during those last days before I died. For me there wasn’t a huge ego and the sense of invulnerability, quite the opposite. I no longer cared about living and used drugs to escape from reality. But in the process I used massive amounts of drugs and with it came a definite disconnect with reality. Adding to that was another traumatic brain injury and a stroke that had gone undiagnosed so I was way out there. I remember shooting at the ninjas who were rappelling through the ceiling of my warehouse to steal my dope. In talking to people who knew me then I heard some scary stories about behavior that went beyond bizarre. Some of them feared for their life and thus stayed away from me. This is all a reminder of how blessed I was to have that accident, how I had to die in order to live once again.

I fear for Charlie Sheen. Once again we will watch the public destruction of someone rich and famous as he indulges in every wanton pleasure he can grab. Just watching him on TV, as he chain smoked his cigarettes, you could see how his lifestyle was aging him. Sad doesn’t begin to describe it, but he thinks he is on top of the world.

There is lots of work to do. I must call the VA rep because we got a letter from the VA asking questions and saying they thought we were exaggerating when we said we spent $100 dollars a week on food, along with other stupidities. What world do they live in? So that fight continues. Meantime I continue to work on the bathroom. Learned what “Mudding” means along with phrases like “Floating the drywall” when the contractor asked me if I had any mud. That had me stumped so he explained that mud is what comes labeled as joint compound and putting it on is called mudding. “Did you float all this drywall?” he asked, referring to the work I’d already done. I didn’t think drywall floats, and it probably doesn’t, so asked if that meant I put it up and he said “yes”. Don’t mind looking dumb, sure I do that all the time.

That’s it. Work to do and this stupid laptop is doing crazy stuff so I must run the spyware program. It keeps shutting down on me because the battery doesn’t work and the power cord is loose and worn so if I’m not real careful it gets unplugged and I lose everything.

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