11/28/08 Friday
There is much to be thankful for lately but I have been remiss in not writing about it. There was the fellowship event where lots of folks from our Sunday school came here. They brought tools and food and helped us do lots of stuff like paint, put in carpet, install lights, dig postholes, and other stuff. I had lots of pictures but they are gone now, lost in the demise of my laptop’s hard drive. But it was a big blessing.

We a good friend of ours took Cherie to a store and bought us this new refrigerator. The old one is now out in the garage where it may get put to use with agricultural type stuff. I’m sure there’s stuff that should be kept cool on hundred plus degree days. It hasn’t worked well since we got here and would often freeze everything. This new one is fantastic. They had a hard time finding a fridge that didn’t have a cold water and ice disperser in the door. We can’t use one because of the hard well water.

I’m having a hard time writing. Think I’m getting slow. Cherie is house sitting for our friend so only comes home once or twice a day. I went to Tommie and Jamie’s where Chuck, Lillian, and Miracle were for their thanksgiving meal. They were sad Cherie couldn’t be there.


I am grateful that I actually completed two projects. I built and put in the doghouse. I made a workbench for the garage. I’m supposed to meet Cherie in Midland for something. I’m not sure what. I’m slowing down bad now. It’s only eleven. I haven’t gotten a thing done. This sucks.

Racing the sun

11/22/08 Saturday
I didn’t finish getting the kennel and doghouse moved. Raced the sun and the sun won. Once it got too dark to see I quit but was quite tired by then anyway. Yesterday was Cherie’s last day at the temp job she had. She liked it but being on her feet all day was hard on her. She needs to see the chiropractor now.

It’s four o’clock now. So far it hasn’t been a fun day for me. Cherie said I woke up angry. That isn’t good news. When we met for lunch at Rosa’s she remarked about how glad she was I was doing better. I had just gotten the laptop “fixed” again at Best Buy so was happy. I don’t remember being angry, or much of anything else about this morning, and it bothered me to hear it. I reassured her I was doing better and came home while she continued her busy schedule of things to do in Midland.

First thing I did was turn the laptop on to see if it worked. It didn’t. Frustrated I tried to duplicate the steps I had the tech guy show me to enable the wireless. Despite carefully watching in order to remember I don’t. But at least I remembered the first two steps so eventually figured it out. Eventually being an hour or so. In great hope and anticipation I “enabled” the wireless and tried to go online. NO. It can’t pick up nothing, it just doesn’t work , just like it wouldn’t work before. I tried this, I tried that, I “restored”, I “unrestored”, I called the Best Buy tech guy, I cussed, I screamed, and I did it till 3:30 this afternoon.

While at Best Buy I picked up a wireless card for the desktop computer that had belonged to Eileen so we could go online with it as well. I decided to install it so I could verify the Lynksys broadband router was working. The CD player wouldn’t read the software disc to the computer so it won’t work. More frustration and anger.

Understand that this anger is part of the emotional control issues that come with a traumatic brain injury and is not good to see. Things have been rather unstable with me lately and that worries me. I can recognize what I’m doing but that doesn’t stop it. I don’t know if it’s because of more stress in my life or what. I just don’t like it. My leg has been giving me problems too, the paralysis is making itself known and my ability to control the leg has gotten worse.

I finally walked away from the computers and went out to work on the kennel for a while. Now I can’t find the pick axe, which I need. Crap. I could feel a slowdown coming so came inside to try and relax. So I’m writing this now. All of this is depressing, this lack of control, being unable to figure things out. I want to crawl into bed, close my eyes and wake up just feeling fine tomorrow. I’m tired. This is real hard on Cherie too and that upsets me. I love her and don’t want to be such a load.

A push through day

11/21/08 Friday
This is the first entry that will be placed on this new hard drive. I hopefully will become more astute as far as keeping this journal up goes.

It’s been a push through day so far. The brain isn’t running too speedily and the right leg is noticeably absent making walking an awkward task. Trying to get things done with this computer has been an exercise in frustration and the more frustrated I got the harder it was to think. I got Microsoft Office downloaded and maybe something else but I can’t remember. Then it came time to go online in order to obtain more software (Such as the two spyware subscriptions we’ve paid for) but the wireless doesn’t work. It did for a second showing a wireless source within range called “DQTECH” but it did not detect our in house wireless set up. So I went and plugged in the cable to our satellite internet box and got online.

I took the laptop back to Best Buy after talking to a Geek Squad lady and not comprehending much of what she said. She worked on it for a half hour before begging help from the technical main dude. They got it to work so I thanked them and came home after picking up some eggs and bread at HEB. First thing I do when I get home is turn on this laptop. Damn!!! The wireless doesn’t work now. Restarting it probably made it revert back to the original problem. It didn’t have the driver for the wireless installed. That should have been done when they put in the new operating system.

I’ve got a doghouse to place in the kennel, which I am also going to move, so can’t talk as much. I seem to be clearing up cognitively. Always love it when that happens. Oh, I’ve got pictures of the doghouse. I made it so big that moving it will be quite a chore. The Ben and Gretchen didn’t go into it last night despite me putting a bowl of food inside to entice them. I sure hope they figure it out cause it will keep them warm being well insulated. Got a go.

I got my laptop back so now begins the process of rebuilding what I can and figuring out how to download software I once had. It's basically a brand new computer now with nothing on it. I don't even remember much of what I had. All the links and research are gone. The book I'm writing I'll start over from scratch. The wireless isn't working now so I must figure that out. It worked before I took it in. I'll call Best Buy this morning to see what they say. It's twenty five degrees or so outside so will be a good day to stay in and work on this but there are still (and always will be) things to do outside. Hope I don't get too lost or confused.

Yesterday was a pretty good day after having two really bad ones in a row. Hope today will be good as well. Need to fix something to eat while I'm thinking about it.

It's wednesday.

I just got back from helping the old man. We're working on what he called a pasture bin. I asked him "What's a pasture bin?" and he just laughed and said "It's one that's not square". Not sure what that means but I'll figure it out, maybe. I started out the day running strong but started slowing down after a couple of hours. I get tired pretty quick nowadays and hammering three big nails into the big boards had me out of breath and struggling to hold on to the hammer. I can't remember but I don't think it was this hard a while back but hammering nails has always been hard for me to do.

It's two o'clock now. I made sure to get something to eat cause when I didn't eat lunch yesterday (or the day before, I can't remember) it sure seemed to make me weak. I'm tired but that's normal for this time of day I guess. I'm having a hard time deciding what to do. That's indicative of a slowdown. Suppose taking a nap would be smart but I just don't like the idea. There's so much to do and napping in the middle of the day seems like being lazy. The bitch of it is that the pain level is way down so the body is willing but my mind just isn't processing well.

I called about my laptop. The guy couldn't find it for the longest time and when he finally did nothing has been done. This is day four now. Not happy but not really in good shape to go in there right now. It would be nice to get it back.

I guess I'll lay down now whether I want to or not.

rough morning

It's a rough morning for me. Not moving fast at all and my ability to think things through is hampered. Probably running a four on the bob scale. Yesterday I worked for the old man and did well. When I came home I worked mostly on the dog house. Quit at seven because it got to where even walking was a chore and I kept tripping, having to hold onto things as I moved about so I wouldn't fall. Cherie came home right when I was turning everything off in the garage and she could tell right away how bad I was doing. That was it, I came in and laid down. Cherie fixed dinner. I had forgotten to eat lunch, which probably didn't help things. Hope the rest of the day gets better. The doghouse I'm making will probably be to heavy for me to move. No probably about it, it's already too heavy and I'm not done.

Hi folks, I'm almost back

It's 3:00 and I have so much to do I shouldn't be online writing this but I feel a responsibility to the millions of you regular readers. What!!! There's not millions?? Ok, but there are a lot of you out there. One of the issues with not having my laptop is I don't have a journal started yet on Cherie's here yet. (Dummy!) I kept my laptop next to the bed and when I came in to lay down and rest I would reach over and grab it. Then I could write little segments that I uploaded as a group later. That gave me lots of time to write but now I'm typing it directly on the blog. It didn't take much research for me to figure out I shouldn't try to install the hard drive myself so we took it back to Best Buy and they are putting it in. Can't wait to get it back and start EVERYTHING over again.

There is so much I need to tell about. I've got a ton of pictures that will help me remember what's been going on. Losing everything on my laptop makes me realize a little more how important these records are for me. There was so much lost, the trip to Toledo, seeing our friends, the apple butter festival, and... When I downloaded the latest pictures I took I found lots of, Uhm...Stuff I'd forgotten I did or saw. This journal truly is my memory and the pictures a big part of that. We will be saving up our money to send the old hard drive to a lab where they hopefully can recover it all. In the meantime I need to get on the stick and write some. But there is so much to do.

Here's some pictures and commentary to give you an idea of what's happening.




I put this flag up on Veterans day.







Winter is here so most of the garden is done for. This is, or was, the okra. Next to it is a row of tomatoes. These were a surprise as a freeze had taken out everything two weeks or so ago. Cherie therefore never bothered to check them.












Yep, LOTS of tomatoes. This is what's left after the farmers market and church. Cherie is making sauce. I spent much of this afternoon sorting, washing, and bagging them for freezing. A friend told us about how much easier it is to skin them this way by dropping the frozen tomato in boiling water. We plan on making some of my grandmother's chow chow with the green ones as well as pickling some.









I'm building this doghouse for the outside dogs. It'll be insulated. I tried to draw a blueprint but wasn't able to think it through. I used to design and draw out lots of complex woodworking and other projects all the time but now a doghouse is a chore. I gave up and just started cutting and putting wood together. After each time I'd just sit and study to figure out what to do next. Been doing that three days now. It will be nice and I plan on putting hinges on the roof so I can get easy access to the inside.

Got to go now.

hard drive's fried

Well that's it. The hard drive is fried and they couldn't recover anything at all from it. There goes ten thousand pictures and along with them the memories they recover as well as all the legal documents I scanned in and everything I've done for the last four years I've owned the laptop. They said that the hard drive can be sent to a lab where it can be disassembled and information can be recovered bit by bit but that costs hundreds of dollars. We will save the hard drive with the hope of eventually being able to afford doing that. There is just too much on it that can never be replaced.

A good friend bought us a new hard drive along with an external one we can use to back up everything on both mine and Cherie's computer. I had planned on eventually getting one after seeing them at Sam's Club because it just makes good sense. But like most things I plan I never got to it.

Our friend was going to pay to have the new hard drive installed but I turned her down because it's physically easy to install. However just plugging it in isn't all there is. You have to format it and install software. I will research doing that myself. I love our friend but am frugal not only with our money but our friend's money as well. If I can't do it then I'll accept the offer.

life goes on

I finally had to take the laptop in to Best Buy to have it worked on. Wanting to avoid this expense I tried to fix it for over a week but each time I turned it on things would get worse. After spending five hours on it one day and four another I quit for a while. My frustration level was getting high and that affected how I acted so I needed a break. I decided to try one last time after not turning the computer on for a couple of days. That was it. Now the computer won't even turn on. It's going to cost over a hundred dollars just for them to recover all the pictures and other information on it but they are not sure they can even do that. If they can't it will be a big loss. For them to reinstall the operating system will be another $150 but I have a recovery disc that came with the laptop that will reinstall what was on it when I got it. Hope that works.




I was able to download pictures from the camera onto this (Cherie's) computer so here are a few. I've been spending a lot of time digging trenches and putting in the badly needed water system that will enable me to get water to the plants. Mike's dad rented a trencher that we used to dig most of the trenches but we only had it for a day and didn't get everything done I wanted. Part of the problem was I couldn't remember what I wanted. I've spent days going out and walking it all off to map it out. But I didn't write anything down so when Mike asked where to dig I pretty much had to start over and figure it out again. So much was missed.

These knee pads are a life saver. Look how many stickers get on them from kneeling down just one time. Imagine how hard it is on the dogs.

Digging these trenches by hand is excruciating but has to be done. The poor dogs just love to be with me whenever I'm out working but the stickers are so bad they can barely walk. So what they've been doing is walking on top of the dirt piled up from the trencher everywhere they go cause it's safe. The problem with that is they are steadily spilling the dirt back in the trenches so I will have to dig it all out again in order for the pipe to lay flat and low.

Mikes dad also bought the pipe and fittings needed for the initial dig but as I worked I would see another area I needed water so had to buy some more. I think I'll end up with twenty seven or so faucets out there.

There is so much I wanted to write but haven't been keeping the journal up because my laptop is dead so much of it I no longer remember. The pictures I use to help remember things are on it so if they can't be recovered the memories might not be recovered either.

Computer is messed up

I'm posting from Cherie's computer. Mine either caught something or I messed it up. I had opened an email that seemed familiar and important. It was just four lines of nonsense sentences. Something like "Mary had a red lamb and took it to the mountains". I closed it as fast as I could. Not sure if I caught something there but it's likely. Anyway, what happens now is a screen opens on start up that says "We encountered a problem and PadExe must close" or something like that. Then you must click on a close button. The computer just gets busy with something that it runs real slow and freezes up. When I click on "start" and then on "Help and support" nothing happens other than a quick flicker of the screen. Then when I click on the "Restore" button it comes up with a blank page. Some of the links I tried to find a way to fix this just brought up my HP scanner software, which is defective anyway. Both of my spy ware programs, AVG and Spysweeper, freeze up before completing. So did the Malware removal tool I downloaded from Microsoft. Any ideas? Should I reload windows XP?

There have been lots of wonderful things happening that i haven't written about. The wonderful things make us busy nowadays. Everything froze out here but we have some lettuce. Scooter, our little stray dog, disappeared. Odds are he was coyote food. We had just decided to allow him to come in the house and were going to have him fixed so he wouldn't pee in the house. He got to stay inside two nights. We let him out in the morning and that's the last we saw of him. We feel bad and miss him but that's the way it is out here. It's the law of the wild.

Hopefully I'll get this thing fixed. I've got over two hundred pictures we've taken recently. Just hope we don't lose them. There are about ten thousand pictures on my laptop and none have been backed up for about a year now. I forgot how to do it and couldn't figure it out again so that was it.

Gotta go