Friday, November 12, 2010

Can't fire the woodburner so it's cold

Yesterday's sunrise (I think, or the day before)

11/12/10 Friday
A cold front just blew in. We can’t fire up the wood burner because all of the disarray piled up around it in preparation for the new bathroom we haven’t put in yet. I put that off twice now in order to go to Fort Stockton with Kairos. Talked to the pastor about it, wanting to get a clearer idea of what the church wanted to do. She came out with some people who do work for her, people who have construction experience, in order to have them give her a quote. In the process I learn that someone had misled the church regarding our bathroom, had given them the idea that things were much worse than they actually are. The contractors were surprised to see we had running water at all. What they had heard was that we had a garden hose running through the bathroom window for water, not quite true. I explained that the cold water side of the bathtub was plugged with mineral deposits so we only had hot water and would pour a bath and wait till it cooled off enough to get in.

I was anxious now to talk with the pastor and makes sure she knew we didn’t mislead her, it wasn’t our doing. I love the lady who got this all going, who told the church we had a need and convinced them to help, but…well she oversold the need. She’s a sweetheart who loves God and loves to help others. What I also know and recognize is that she too has suffered a severe traumatic brain injury and this overselling is actually a common problem with TBI survivors. Part of it is a tendency to confabulate, to fill in the blanks that often occur with short term memory loss. Often TBI survivors don’t even realize they are doing this, and it can be quite confusing, along with causing some problems.

Anyway, the contractors came up with a quote for the pastor. Five thousand dollars but because of the circumstances he said he would do it for $3700. She called me to say that this was beyond what the church could do, and that’s fine because I’m confident we could buy the material for a several hundred dollars, it’s just a matter of labor and the skills to do it right. So we have a budget of five hundred dollars, and that works well, because I know what we have to work with and can plan accordingly.

Meantime, today I prepare to go back to Fort Stockton for two days. We decided we can afford for me to stay at a hotel overnight, that this would be better than coming back and catching a ride with someone the next morning at 6:00 in the morning or so. I’ll have to make sure things are taken care of here on the farm. With the cold front came wind, has the curtains blowing despite the windows being closed as I sit here and watch the bedroom windows. Doesn’t help it stay warm for sure. Extreme home makeover is coming to the area to do what they do for their television show. I daydreamed for a moment that they would do our house but then forced myself back to reality.

It would be sweet but what I’d like most is to be able to see my vision for the farm come about. Then we’d have greenhouses, orchards, and mostly could create jobs to help others in need. With that there would be a business that would create income that allows us to fix up this old house, make the improvements it needs. It will happen. I have a dream, and it’s a good one, but mostly I have a God who can do miracles. I just need a little help, to find others who want to share in this dream, for it’s not something I can do by myself. It’s quite frustrating for me to still have to fight the results of my brain injury and to see how it has hindered progress in pursuing this dream. I know what I need to do but in the daily tempest of activity so many things don’t get done. The difficulty completing tasks is another common problem with TBI’s, along with a need to be organized.

I have much to do before leaving for the prison. First there are four letters I’ve been meaning to answer from the guys at Lynaugh prison, letters I’ve been meaning to write for over a week now. I wanted to get them done and out so the guys would have them by the time we got there. See!!! This is just another example of me not accomplishing what I wish. So many things that just don’t get done, but I don’t spend my days sitting on my ass, I stay busy but don’t do what I need to do.

On that note I’ll quite writing this post and get to writing the letters. Need to be at Cherie’s work by 4:30 to catch a ride with Dave to the prison. I know that if I walk outside to do stuff I’ll once again forget to write the letters so must stay focused.

Midnight, at the grave of Ben and Gretchen.

Just a note, something to share with y’all. We are much more protective of Rascal and Trixie now, after losing all the other dogs. When we let them out in the morning we check on them often and make sure they don’t wander far. They pretty much stay on the farm but with two dogs shot and one poisoned I feel better keeping them in sight. They are both on the bed with me now, laid out in comfort as we listen to the wind blow.

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