If I stink, it's your problem! (how I used to think)

7/15/10 Thursday
11:00 – Been out planting, or at least that’s what I went outside to do. No seeds have actually made it into the ground yet. I untangled the drip hose that was rolled up in order for me to till the areas to be planted. Then I started laying the hose out but had to cut up some more coat hangers to make wire hold downs to keep the hose from blowing away. I looked at the seeds to be planted last night and discovered many of them will require trellises. That means I need to till and prepare beds over where I built the T-frames for this purpose. Some of the other seeds must wait till later in the year to be planted so they were put aside. I picked out four or five seeds to plant in the area already prepared. Reading the instructions on the back of the package I see the suggestion that the seeds be soaked for one or two hours before planting to insure or enhance germination. They are soaking now. While they soak I’ll go to work on the trellis area. I’m planting okra, garden peas, bush beans, and maybe some squashes. There are carrot seeds that interest me but I must re read what they require. It would be nice if I could remember what I’ve read and studied before, every year, but hasn’t happened yet.
This was a 7 foot tall weed with a 2+ inch thick stalk at the base. No wonder I break hoes. Almost went and got the axe or chain saw to get it.

Came in to take my 11:00 pain pill so that’s done. I’ll post this and get back out there. Will need to come in and clean up before to long for the meeting in Big Spring. Don’t want to go there all nasty and soaked with sweat. Cherie’s doing a good job of teaching me about little social things like that. My personal inclination is “I’m a farmer so if I stink that’s the way it is. If you don’t like it that’s your problem”. But I’m learning to be considerate of my public appearance and of what others think. Not terribly convenient but I suppose it makes life easier.

That’s it. There’s always work to do and the day is shortened by my need to run to Big Spring. While there I need to remember to stop at the VA and get a new ID card. Still haven’t gotten the new driver’s license yet. That should arrive in the mail next week. You watch, as soon as I get all this stuff replaced I’ll find the wallet. I wonder how much money is in it? Don’t have a clue and can’t remember, but I know money was tight so doubt there’s very much in it. What I miss the most is the piece of paper that had all the phone numbers in it. Can’t replace that.

Another snake

There are many snakes in life. Rattlesnakes usually announce their presence, as this one did when Rascal ran past it. The dangerous snakes are the ones that don't do that, the ones that hide in the grass and disguise their intent.

7/14/10 Wednesday
Another Wednesday. Some call it hump day cause it’s halfway through a five day workweek. I don’t have a five day nine to five job so every day is hump day I suppose. Everyday I get up and overcome whatever difficulties arise and every day I work as much and as long as I am able to. Every day we put our trust in God. We trust Him to protect and guide in this often times wicked world from those who would take advantage of us or who strive to keep us from achieving our goals. This isn’t paranoia, it’s a reality we have been forced to face more often than we’d like.

Yesterday I was forced to kill another rattlesnake. Hate doing it but we can’t have them around the house where they could kill the dogs or bit us. I think that’s only the third one this year. Cherie killed one by herself a few weeks back. It was small, a baby that had not yet developed rattles but a rattlesnake none the less with well developed fangs that can inject venom.

It’s going to be another hot and humid day and the humidity is forecast to continue for days. I don’t mind the heat too much but the humidity is nasty. If it was dry like it normally is out here in the desert then the evaporative air conditioner would cool the air effectively. Unfortunately it doesn’t work well at all with high humidity so the house isn’t cooled off and we spend most of our time in front of fans, which are placed strategically in every room.

The blackeyed peas I planted last week have come up. I planted more yesterday and still have much more to get in the ground. The soil has lost most of it’s moisture and is dusty dry on the surface now. I had to run the tiller back over where I’d tilled just a couple of days ago to break up the crustiness that develops when it dries. Today I plan on planting the various seeds that Cherie picked out. Plus I need to prune the tomato plants and run wire through the T-frames I built months ago in order to begin guiding the plants to grow vertically.

Here's a lone carrot I found as I was tilling to prepare for summer plantings. It was at the end of a row I had planted in the spring, the sole survivor of a hundred seeds. It's small, which tells me the seed germinated long after it was planted, probably after a rare rain. We're grateful for everything we get, no matter how small

So there’s plenty to do, as there always is at Westbrook Farms. In addition to work on the farm I now need to start working on developing a blog for the Kairos prison ministry I’m involved in. Met with other members of the group yesterday where we discussed ways to recruit more people to get involved. With my background in marketing and experience blogging I am well equipped to contribute in this way. When I explained just how potentially powerful a well designed blog would be they got excited about the concept. Another thing I’ll be doing is helping them develop a media package designed to promote the Kairos ministry and hopefully get some air time on local TV stations. I guess I’m the media director for the ministry now and that includes creating media releases for newspapers, radio, and television, in addition to internet venues. It’s exciting for me to take this on, and a mark of how far I’ve come in my recovery from the brain injury. Hopefully I’ll fulfill others expectations and do well.

Nuff said. There’s heat to beat and work to do so time to get outside while it’s still cool, relatively speaking.

There's work to do (Always)

7/12/10 Monday
No time to do a lot of writing this morning. There’s work to do and a busy day scheduled. The rain has stopped and the ground is quickly drying up so I’m under the gun to get seeds in the ground. I know there are still tons of weeds that need to be tackled but If I don’t plant seeds there is no hope of late summer/fall crops. The people who judge us based on how deplorable things look can go to…well I need to control those thoughts and not let it get to me. We try hard and do the best we can. I’d like to see some of those who talk keep up with me. Doubt many of them would despite not enduring the pain and fatigue I daily overcome. The hard part is the mental one, forgetting what I need to do and getting distracted so my original task remains undone while I work on something else I saw.

Anyway, time to get to work. It’s still only in the 70’s though will soon reach the ninety degree mark. There are a few phone calls on my written schedule to make so I will get them out of the way and get out there.
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Spent 4 hours at the friends house. They left without letting me know so the last hour was spent sitting around wondering where they went and what to do. It was hot so I was soaked with sweat. It took a lot out of me. Wanted to go to work here on the farm but I have no energy left. Am physically weak so odds are I need to replenish electrolytes and certainly need water. I’m also in a real crappy mood. Dogs got yelled at more than once. Not a good end for the day. There’s work to do and I’m not up to doing it. Tomorrow I meet with Dave and Ken with the Kairos ministry. That’s right in the middle of the day so will once again keep me from getting things done.

Cherie rearranged the bedroom so the tv no longer sits on the tall dresser. Now we can only get two stations, the Christian one and channel two. Fox is no longer there. There goes that. Doesn’t help the mood any. Fox had some of the few shows that I could stand to watch. Ok, Fox comes in now after Cherie put tin foil on the antenna and fiddled with it.

The heat is back

Before

7/11/10 Sunday
The heat is back. It was nice for a while when the high’s were only in the 80’s, despite the 90 + % humidity. We went to church this morning and enjoyed fellowshipping with our many friends there. After we went to visit some other friends and were surprised with a barbeque rib cookout. We discussed some issues they are helping us with and I’ll go back over there tomorrow to do some work for them. Unfortunately that took up the cool of the day and there is lots to do so when we came home I went straight to work. Didn’t last as long out there as I thought I would so came in to sit in front of the fan and cool off. It’s 6:00 now so should start cooling off soon. It will be a late day again as I work to get as much done. I told our friend that I wouldn’t come over till later as I plan on getting as much done as I can around the farm during the cool of the day.

After, same area minus weeds.

9:00 – I’m done for the day. Worn out again. As much as I would prefer to be planting seeds I’m forced to spend time fighting weeds. Been mowing them for days now and have barely scratched the surface. You can see in the first picture how high the weeds are. Many of them are five foot tall now and got that way in just three or so weeks. There are areas that were cleared to the ground with a hoe twelve days ago and the weeds are back, already a foot high. That’s the rain. Desert weeds are geared to go for broke anytime it rains and, boy do they go.

I spent four hours mowing these weeds down. Now I know that because I just mowed them they will grow back right away so the next step is to break out the tiller and till what’s left under. The reason I mowed is to catch the clippings with the grass catcher in the mower. These clippings will become compost in the raised beds I never was able to finish. The front end loader died before I could move dirt back into them and I was never able to get the sixteen remaining railroad ties needed to finish building them because of whomever convinced the old man I was out to take advantage of him. May God deal with them. So I’ll pile clippings there as high as I can and next year it will be some good fertile soil.

Cherie went through seeds and picked out some for me to plant. That’s a big help for me. As much as I need to keep up with weeds I am also pressed to plant seeds. We hope to have a fall crop due to the rain fall we’ve been blessed with but the ground is drying out quick. It’s a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation. Weeds need to be removed from where I need to plant for sure. One of the comments we received at the USDA meeting was an observance of the weeds and with that the question came up regarding my ability to keep up with the work. Frankly I can’t by myself and explained that if we can create an income we can afford to pay for the help we need. Meantime I do the best I can with what I’ve got, and all I’ve got right now is me. Not much to look at and a little disabled but I keep on plugging.
This was just a few small spots of grass a few weeks ago.

We’ve got a few spots where some of the tens of thousands of Bermuda grass seed actually germinated. It looks real good and I had to mow it. The grass on the side of the house I wasn’t sure about because I didn’t have an eye to be able to tell what kind of grass it was, so I left it alone hoping it was the Bermuda I planted there. It wasn’t. Don’t know what it is but it’s nasty looking stuff so I’ll have to till it all under and plant Bermuda again. I’ll take some of the Bermuda that came up in other places and transplant it Once it takes root it’s proven to do quite well and spread rapidly. Eventually we will have a yard.

With all the rain there have been lots of mushrooms come up. This bad boy is as big as my hand. In Michigan we had morel mushrooms come up. I knew someone who pointed them out to me so knew what they were and picked them to eat. Not even going to think about that here. Too many mushrooms will kill you in a heartbeat. But I can enjoy the pale beauty of them and wonder at how quick they come up.

I’m tired and plan on getting up with the sun to get as much done as I can. See ya when next I can.
Be

I WILL OVERCOME

7/9/10 Friday
The meeting with the USDA people hit Cherie harder than I thought. “I hate this place” she exclaimed as she broke down. “It’s like it was a big joke” she said as I tried to console her. I’ve admired Cherie for her strength, for the burden she took on when she remarried me despite the severe effects of the brain injury. I admire the fortitude displayed when we moved here to a house with no hot water, heat, or much of anything else. She endured the rejection and isolation we experienced at the church we attended for over a year until we found the love and fellowship we needed in Midland. We lived on my disability check for the first few years a meager life, eating a lot of peanut butter and jelly along with whatever else we could scrape up. She hung in there, she has stayed at my side, we are in love if nothing else. As Cherie cried she said that me and her job were the only bright spots she had. It breaks my heart to see her pain but it was good to hear that I was the bright spot in her life.

So what can I do? I love Cherie with all my heart and it is for her I wish to build this farm into a thriving business, in order to provide a life for her and also with the hope of gaining acceptance and a measure of prestige. But it’s been a struggle, there’s no doubt about that. I’ve been a one man show fighting through the effects of the brain injury and pain to accomplish the little that has succeeded. My reaching out for help has met with little success. We been blessed by many who have donated needed items but as far as accessing government programs and serious level business resources my efforts have to date done little. So I sit on seventy five acres of land that I don’t have the tools or resources to develop. The USDA guys said we qualified for payments on our acres through a government program that was similar to the CRP program, only we could lease it out for grazing or do other things with the land, except grow vegetables. But that is just meager subsistence money. I have land that can be farmed and developed. Why would I want to just sit on it and barely exist? I don’t understand that whole attitude. Am I regarded as some kind of low life who has no ability or worth, someone who should just be relegated to a bare just getting by existence?

I’m upset, and my words reflect that. I won’t quit. But I love Cherie. I want to make her happy and secure. In my mind the path for that is through this farm, it’s a resource that has yet to be developed. I’ve perceived that some think I’m chasing a pipe dream, perhaps even think I’m a fool for daring to dream of better things. Perhaps I am. But the alternative, to dare not to dream, to resign myself to subsisting and just existing, is not acceptable to me. There is that spirit deep within that says not only “I will survive” but “I WILL OVERCOME, I WILL SUCCEED”. I made it past the survival mode after I woke from the coma. I wasn’t expected to live and did, I wasn’t expected to ever be able to walk and talk, and I do both well now though I have a limp and sometimes say things I shouldn’t. Should I worry about what others think? I know the answer is No but what people think hurts. What people think also becomes another obstacle that must be overcome for their attitudes precipitate actions that cause problems. Whomever convinced the old man that I was only there to take advantage of him caused much harm, which could well have been their intent. I know that if a community came together to help someone great things can happen but also that the opposite is true. Jesus did fantastic things everywhere he went but when he went to His hometown the bible says in Mathew 13:58 And He did not do many miracles there because of their unbelief. So even Jesus was hampered by the attitude of those around Him. As a sales trainer I used to teach the power of a positive attitude, of a “Can Do” mentality. It’s just hard to maintain in the face of all this.

Just talked to the widow we help. Other peoples problems sure help make yours seem smaller. I want to help others but have a hard time helping myself. Doesn’t matter, I will still do what I can for others when I am able.
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As soon as I walked outside it started raining. Wasn’t a hard rain, just a light sprinkle. I looked at all that needs to be done and found myself once again fighting depression. It’s too muddy to do a lot of things. As long as it’s just a light sprinkle I’ll stay out there working. The words of that meeting keep echoing in my head, particularly the question asked about what made me think I could do any of this stuff we dreamed about for our future if I had a hard time keeping up with what I had to do now. With God’s help I can do amazing things. There is a scripture that says “I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me” that comes to mind. I think I’ll go online and look it up.

I so enjoy having internet access now. I use a site called crosswalk.com that has great bible study tools. The scripture is in Philippians chapter 4 and when I read the whole thing it brings comfort. Let me share it with you. The first part is one I know well.

6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

This verse is a principle I try to practice, though often not successfully. It is important as Christians, and for everyone else for that matter, to take care what we feed our minds. It’s just like the computer adage, “Garbage in, garbage out”. You are what you feed yourself and I don’t care who you are, if you stay in filth you will get dirty, both inside and out.

8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things

And there is the scripture that started this

11. I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. 12 I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. 13 I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

Does this make everything better? No. It just gives me strength and helps me to choose to trust God.

Breaks over, time to get out in the rain and work. Doesn’t matter if I get wet from the rain as I generally get soaking wet from sweat in a few minutes anyway.
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The miscreants are back. They’ve stayed close for a few days, to our great relief, but went exploring again last night. As is often the case there is evidence of trouble they flirted with. Ben looks ok but Gretchen’s back leg is bloody and swollen. At first Gretchen was the only one I found despite calling but when I came back to the house later Ben was there.

I think I’ll focus a lot of energy working around the house to make things look nice for Cherie. I’ll mow the weeds we call a lawn after pulling the big ones and fix things up in her flower beds. Hope that helps put a smile on her face. It needs doing badly anyway as I’ve neglected that as I struggle to prepare beds and plant seeds. Can’t do it all but sure wish I could.

I could rule the world, with the right equipment

7/8/10 Thursday
Spent three hours meeting with USDA folks. Discussed what we would like to do versus what we are able to do. These are the guys who have their fingers on all the programs the government offers to help people like us. At the end there was nothing there. The advice I got was to keep on doing what I’ve been doing. That and to make friends locally. We would love to make friends locally, tried with no success. There’s all kinds of beginning farmer programs but we don’t seem to qualify, despite being beginning farmers. Lots of the programs require matching funds and previous experience. We don’t have any funds to match and no agricultural experience. So help is out there but we can’t seem to get any. Did I just miss what was being said? Or did I simply not understand it?


Been beating my head against the wall for five years now. No wonder depression is something I must fight all the time. I was asked about my physical ability to do things, it was a “what makes you think you can handle more if you’re working at your limit now” kind of question. I explained that what I do now was physical labor with few tools and that if I had the right equipment my capabilities would be expanded a hundredfold. We talked of the dream I have for the place and all agreed that it was a very possible and doable vision, wonderful was a word used. We discussed basic things like raising goats for milk, growing alfalfa, drip irrigation, water quality issues, even putting in an RV park campground. But when I said “All these things are good, but what I need is the resources to accomplish them. How can I get the resources?”. There seemed to be no answer to that. There are millions of dollars worth of resources out there but obtaining them is tough. Everyone agreed there was great opportunity sitting on our seventy five acres but no one presented a clear plan on how to tap into it. Wine grapes is a great option but it costs eleven thousand dollars an acre to develop and then it takes years before you begin to see a return on that investment. That’s just like putting in an apple orchard. You must invest in the trees and then wait five years before the investment begins to produce. “What can I do next year?” I asked several times, but got no answer. I can grow alfalfa but have no equipment and need to install irrigation.

Cherie’s frustration was evident on her face when we left. She said “I wasted half a day so I’m going back to work”. I felt really bad. She took off of work to be there by my side, to help me keep up with what was going on. It’s not done, I need to come up with a plan but it’s clear we need to find others who can partner with us. I had planned on that anyway but it’s been made more evident.

I fixed a pot of coffee. We had a hard rain while this was going on but now the sun has come out. That means it will be a muggy day. The humidity was 93% this morning. Have to fight off the depression that wants to overwhelm me. This whole thing was a disappointment. But can’t quit, that’s not in me. I have a dream damn it and it’s a good one. So I’ll keep pushing on no matter what others think. If nothing else I’ll grow some vegetables.
This seeder didn't come with the different templates designed for a variety of seed types, but I do the best I can with what I've got.

Yesterday I remembered the seeder I had bought at an estate sale a year or so ago and dug it out. Had to put tape on the holes and cut it out to make them the right size for blackeyed peas in order to make it work. It still puts two or three peas in a hole sometimes but I can do in sixty seconds what it took twenty minutes to do before. I’ll just weed out the extra plants later. It’s a simple hand pushed seeder but that illustrates the difference the right piece of equipment makes. Sixty seconds versus twenty minutes. I could rule the world with the right equipment, or at least do some serious farming.
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Here's a picture of a barn swallow that built it's nest on the light in our veranda just outside the kitchen door.

Listening to a Bible study on GLC. It’s on the story of Daniel in the lions den where the king, Nebuchadnezzar, was talked into making a law that demanded death for anyone worshipping a god other than the ones of Persia. Because Daniel was caught worshipping the God of Israel the king was forced to enforce his own law. We all know how the story goes, that God prevented the lions from harming Daniel despite being in the lions den overnight. As I listen to this I realize that I shouldn’t be so demoralized by our meeting with the USDA guys today. If my vision for this farm is something God wants, it will happen no matter how many obstacles are in the way. If it’s not then I don’t want it to happen anyway. What I also know is that anything that God wants the devil will do his best to block and destroy.

This is the spiritual battle that goes on constantly, the battle of good against evil. For those who don’t have the belief in God we do, this is a laughable or even ludicrous concept. I’ve read many comments on a wide variety of news stories online where people are eager to express their disdain, or worse, of Christianity in any form. I understand this well, and at one time shared in that disbelief. I also understand well the history of the Christian church and what has been done in the name of religion over the centuries. But I know that true Christianity is about love, not the emotional type of feeling many call love but to choose for the highest good of others even at personal loss. It’s humbling yourself and swallowing pride. It’s turning the other cheek. When those who call themselves Christian act otherwise those who look for reasons to despise God are quick to latch onto it. We all mess up, no matter how good you are. I know I do all the time. That’s where forgiveness comes in and is so important.

We had a big blast of rain that blew through about an hour ago. It poured down pretty heavily. All of my rain barrels have been full for some time now. Too bad I don’t have more. Would love to build a cistern to catch the rain with. Have plans from the internet on how to construct one. It’s pretty muddy so I’m wondering if the seeder will work well. Don’t know but plan on going out and finding out now. If it doesn’t there’s plenty of other things to do and I have only two hours of daylight left so time’s awastin.

Bustin butt

It’s 5:24 now. I’ve been bustin butt out there but don’t seem to have gotten much done. Had to come in to let the pain settle down some. There’s a thunderstorm brewing to the south and when it got close it brought a nice cool breeze that was welcome for sure. I needed to go to Midland and buy a new ink cartridge for the printer but called Cherie and asked her to do it for me.



Here’s a picture of a phenomenon we’ve seen before out here. I walked out and saw tens of thousands of these winged ants covering the ground like a moving carpet. Plus they are flying all over this area and thus land on me and bump into my face as I walk by. I don’t know what the story is regarding these critters but now that I know Burr Williams of the Sibley Center I’m sure I can find out. The winged ants seem to be fighting or perhaps having sex. I don’t know but they gather in clumps wrestling and clinging to each other in piles. Burr said they are harvester ants and this is a mating swarm that happens after rain

I got the tractor out and carefully drove it over the rows I plowed yesterday. This compressed the dirt and helped make firm pathways between the rows. This will make things easier later when I must work on the rows weeding and picking what I grow. Yesterday it took almost two hours for me to use a hoe to level the plowed hill, make a furrow, plant seeds, then cover and tamp them down. Two hours for one row. I’ve got almost fifty rows to do so that’s not acceptable.

Today I fired up the Cub Cadet tiller we were blessed with and used it. Much better. Instead of making the traditional hill (Or whatever it’s called. The word escapes me at the moment) I’ve decided to plant on lower surfaces. I’ve been learning how to grow for five years now and fighting this memory issue in doing so. Each year I repeat mistakes I made the year before and did that again this year. Everything I planted this spring I did on mounded rows only to have the wind blow it all away. So this time nothing is raised. Eventually I’ll get railroad ties and telephone poles and create raised beds with them blocking the wind and providing some protection for the plants.

I got the wheelbarrow and a shovel and went to a pile of manure I got from the old man before he was told that I was taking advantage of him. It’s a shame that someone felt it was important for them to cause trouble and cause this division. Now I can’t even get manure from the old man. I suppose that even that could be interpreted as my taking advantage of him. I had to chop down the weeds growing on it first and then filled up the wheelbarrow. The thought was to distribute this on the rows I’m planting, thus enhance the quality of the soil. It didn’t take long for me to decide this won’t work. A full wheelbarrow load only lasted for one third of the row and shoveling it by hand was a lot of painful work. Too bad the Massey Fergusson broke down because with it’s front end loader I could easily move a lot of the composted manure in a timely manner. Eventually I’ll obtain the equipment that will help me do the work that needs doing. Till then I’ll have to skip work like this. It’s more important for me to get seeds planted. They won’t grow as well as they would with the compost but they’ll grow. So it’s a good idea that I don’t have the ability to pursue. I have lots of those.

I’m tired but there’s work to do. There is a bible study at the halfway house tonight that I wanted to attend but won’t. Rain is forecast for tomorrow and there is too much seed that needs to get in the ground. I’ll be working out there till it gets dark again, like I do most every day. I’ve rested and the pain pill is working as good as it’s going to. Cherie is fixing something for dinner so as soon as I eat I’m heading back out again.

Called me a "small minded man"

7/7/10 Wednesday
It’s another day. As is true with every day there is more stuff to do than one person can accomplish. When Sam was here working for me I would express my frustration about not getting things done that needed doing. His reply was invariably “it’s just you, your only one man”. There is so much I want to do, so much that can be accomplished, but he’s right. Currently it’s a one man show and there’s only so much one man can get done. Add to that the levels of pain, slow downs, and other things that demand my time, it’s an uphill battle wading through waist deep sand. But I’ll keep going, because that’s what I do. I know that in time all of the hard work and effort will pay off. I have a clear vision of where I want to go and a vague idea of how to get there, so God willing it will happen. I think it’s time to start looking for business partners, others who can share my vision and understand the real possibilities for this farm. A few months back, in an unrelated incident, someone called me a “Small minded man”. That person is a scam artist and this was his response to me trying to prevent a friend from getting involved with a criminal scheme, but his greed overcame any sense of caution so I gave up.

But the point here is that I am far from being a small minded man. Fifteen years ago my net worth was well over a million dollars. Oh I couldn’t have gotten a hold of a million dollars cash if I wanted to but my marketing company was billing fifteen to twenty thousand dollars a week and had according to the Ohio Bureau of Unemployment records I had 127 employees that year. Plus I had the liquidation company that maintained 80,000 square feet of warehouse at it’s height and would employ up to twenty five or thirty people depending on what was going on. As a marketing consultant I helped others start or revitalize their companies in addition to the work I did for many larger corporations.
A man reaps what he sows. I'm working hard to sow good seeds

So “What happened?” many would ask. Sin happened and I paid a dear price for it. Actually I paid a lot of prices for it many times but it all culminated in my losing everything, including my life and mind. I went from being on top of the world to wandering homeless with the severe traumatic brain injury. I could barely hold a conversation and even walking was difficult due to the right side being paralyzed.

But God is merciful and has restored my life, my wife, and my mind. I still have difficulties to overcome but I am a fighter and every year the healing progresses. I bring this up as a sort of resume, to explain that I know business and am not a delusional dreamer with no hope of achieving my goals. I am a miracle, an example of God’s mercy and grace, and of His love despite my turning my back on Him. You watch and see what God has in mind, what God can and is doing. We will build a place that blesses many, that will be a venue that shows the power of God to change lives.


I had posted an outline of what we plan on doing a few months back and one of the locals commented it was “goofy”. There is a seed of bitterness that has been planted here. A seed that has grown, as they always do when watered and fertilized by gossip, so that this weed of poor opinion and judgment spreads it’s tentacles among those who have not talked with me, (not serious conversation beyond “How’s the weather” level) some have never met me. This is the devils work and the sad part is that these are often good church people who don’t comprehend the evil they are partaking of. So what do you say? Not much if they won’t talk to you, but I pray for them and pray that God will heal this and that they will learn what the Love of Jesus really is about. It’s about sacrifice, it’s about turning the other cheek, it’s about talking to and forgiving those who despitefully use you. Jesus made it clear in Mathew 22 when He said 'YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.' 38 "This is the great and foremost commandment. 39 "The second is like it, 'YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.' 40 "On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets." In John 13:35 Jesus said "By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."

So Love is the signature of Christianity, the light so to speak that shines in the darkness to show the world that God is and that God cares. It was this love we sought when we came here, knowing at the time that with my brain injury I was prone to say and do things that were offensive. I’m sure I still do that but not nearly as much as before. It’s taken a while but my brain constantly repairs and rewires itself and I continue to learn social skills. We found that love and fellowship in Midland, where we were graciously accepted with open arms despite my issues. My concern is to heal the wounds I may have created, and to help others walk in the Love of Christ. As a former pastor this is a deep concern for it is my desire to have all who wear the name of Christ walk in a way that honors that. I’m sure that some will be upset that I even expose any wrongdoings but isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be? Are we not to expose all works of darkness to the light of Christ.

Ephesians 5:8 for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord ; walk as children of Light 9 (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth ), 10 trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord. 11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them; 12 for it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret. 13 But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light.

If what you do embarrasses you and if there is a desire to scurry and hide in the darkness, shouldn’t that be enough to make you realize there is something wrong here that needs to be corrected? The words of Jesus, (right after the well known 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.) John 3:20 "For everyone who does evil hates the Light, and does not come to the Light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. 21 "But he who practices the truth comes to the Light, so that his deeds may be manifested as having been wrought in God." I try to live a life in which there is no shame, one open for the world to see. One that God, who sees all things and even knows the deep thoughts of your heart this very second as you read this, will approve of.

Galatians 6.1 “Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness ; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted. 2 Bear one another's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.” If I was wrong, and odds are I have been, then others should have, and still need to, come to me, talk with me, and help me correct the wrong I’ve done.

Anyway, I’ve gotten off track again. I know that great things will happen when people come together in one accord, with a singleness of mind to do good. This is my desire and I believe it’s God’s desire too. I also know there is an enemy out there who’s desire is to divide and destroy, and who finds far to many willing tools to accomplish this. Galatians 5:14 "YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF." 15 But if you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another. 16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh.

There’s work to do and time’s a wastin. I guess you can tell by now that I was a pastor. I want to end this with some scriptures, with the hope that some will read them and act accordingly. My words can be empty and vain but there’s little room for arguing with the words found in the bible, though I am sure many will anyway.

Ephesians 4:1 Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, 3 being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace….

14 As a result, we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming ; 15 but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ, 16 from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by what every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love…..
(Click to enlarge)

29 Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. 30 Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

Ephesians 5:1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children ; 2 and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.

Nuff said.

I'm a welder now, sort of

7/3/10 Saturday
It’s a Sabbath day, from the Jewish Hebrew roots perspective. We struggle with the many conflicting teachings we hear on that subject. It’s an old conflict dating back to the early church days and Paul spent much of his time writing on that. I read and study but am still not clear where to stand regarding keeping the Sabbath, how to do it, when to do it, do we have to do it? What I know is that it’s one of the ten commandments and I’m certain the rest still apply, I mean there’s no question about thou shalt not murder, steal, commit adultery, or any of the other ones. And keeping the Sabbath holy is listed right in there with them. Jesus had lots to say about that and one time he told the Pharisees something about how they would pull their cow or donkey out of a ditch on the Sabbath and consider it ok, to make a point about their being so picky about things. So I read Galatians this morning and discussed what it said with Cherie as part of our morning scripture and prayer. It’s supposed to be a day of rest dedicated to the Lord, but that’s hard for us both. For Cherie the weekends are the days she doesn’t have to work her regular job and is thus able to catch up with stuff around the house. For me there’s always stuff I need to do and I’m always behind. My conclusion, at the moment, is that we are under grace and no longer subject to the Law from the Jewish standpoint. I think we can still keep the day holy to the Lord and get some work done. I think we should strive to make every day holy.

I finally got the welder out of it’s box and used it. Can’t remember when I bought it but it was a few months back when we had some money to spare for that kind of thing. The hoe finally bit the dust. It’s the third hoe I’ve gone through and held up pretty good to some seriously hard work. Cutting down some of those weeds is like cutting down small trees. The steel of the blade snapped across about a four inch area. I got the welder out of the box and of course “Some assembly required” is almost an understatement. It’s a cheap welder that only uses welding rods that are 1/16 of an inch thick, or perhaps thin would be more accurate. It can be wired for either 110 or 220 volts but we never hooked up the extra wire I ran for 220 so I set up of at the 110 level. At 220 I can use a thicker welding rod. It took me a few tries to get it right but I successfully welded my hoe back together. While at it I ran a bead across the edge with the idea that this would provide some harder steel that would hold an edge better. Seems to work but the file no longer will sharpen the edge because it’s harder that the file is now so I use the grinder to sharpen it.

The miscreants didn’t come home till noon today. Sure wish they would stay home at night and not go wandering but that’s the way it is. They were pretty muddy from their adventures but that’s nothing new. Ben was sure glad to get his pets when he saw me.

I’m going to plant some more seeds today. We planted a bunch of sunflower seeds and I figured out I over ordered them. Planted the whole ridge and didn’t use half of one of the two bags I have so we’re going to have a bunch of sunflowers when it’s all said and done.

Money is going to be exceptionally tight this month. I paid out what we had in the farm account for labor and will have to get some money from Cherie to put gas in my truck. No more eating out for a while now. We got dog food and Cherie is buying essential foods today so that’s covered. I need to buy a new wallet to replace the one I lost but that will have to wait too.

Getting a replacement drivers license was an additional expense this week. We took my birth certificate and my DD214 military discharge papers to Social Security to get a new Social Security card and they told me that wasn’t acceptable. “What!” I more or less exclaimed. The lady told me that they would accept a current medical bill or something like that as proof I’m an American but not my birth certificate. So if I was an illegal alien I could walk in with a medical bill and get a social security ID card? This doesn’t make any sense to me at all. It seems that anyone can go to a hospital and get a bill but I know that getting a copy of my birth certificate isn’t that easy. There’s something wrong with the system, something is amiss here.

Lost my wallet, plowed it under

Somewhere out there is my wallet. (and this is just a small part of what I tilled under)

7/1/10 Thursday (and Friday)
It’s been another wet day. Sure nice to have some rain and it gives me some hope that some seed I plant will come up. Sam has worked for me for three days and that helped to catch up with the weeds some. I fired the tractor up and spent a few hours pulling the disc over areas that needed it. Unfortunately my wallet worked it’s way out of the back pocket of my jeans and fell out while I was doing that. We carefully walked every inch of where I disced up the soil but there was no sign of it. It’s buried somewhere out there and odds are it’ll show up. Might be a couple of years from now but the wind will blow and, behold, there’s my wallet.

Meantime I must apply for a new driver’s license, social security card, VA Id card, and get new bank cards ordered. There are phone numbers and business cards in the wallet that I can’t replace but that’s not the end of the world, just a big inconvenience. I don’t think there was very much money in it cause we don’t have much money at the moment. Today was Sam’s last day of working. He so wants to keep working and I so need the help. He knows that when we are blessed with more funds we’ll have him come back. Till then it’s just me again.
Just some of the piles of weeds we hoed up. There's about 20 more like this

7/2/10 Friday
It’s hard not to get depressed when I work on the farm. It just slaps me in the face, all the things I haven’t kept up with and understanding that I can’t keep up with it all by myself. Plus there’s the fact that I really don’t know what I’m doing. I know a lot more than I did five years ago, when we moved here, but there is so much more I need to learn. It would be nice to have a friend who understood what it takes to grow farmer’s market type crops and could give me advice. I’ve met people who do but they have busy lives and one of my big weaknesses is that lack of social skills, an inability to develop close relationships with others that has plagued me my whole life. I’m guessing that’s a reason. Don’t really know for sure. What I know is this lack of closeness that exists for me here. A big part of that is probably due to the depression I must always fight. In Toledo I had two close friends, my secretary and Bernie, the glass artist, they are both dead now. I have other friends up there but not close ones.


Today I’ll work outside when it’s not raining. It’s raining this morning and the weather forecast says I can expect it to continue off and on all day, plus tomorrow too. This is rain from the hurricane that has made it’s way up here. Sam got all the weeds chopped down from one garden plot. That took two straight days of work to do. There is still one more area that needs to be cleared. We’ve been hoeing down the weeds and raking them up in piles that I will allow to dry and burn. The idea is to capture as many of the sticker seeds as possible so they don’t grow more sticker grass but that’s a lost cause now. The sticker grass has matured to the point that the seeds/stickers fall off the plants as we rake it up and cover the ground. If I’d gotten to this earlier it would have beaten the making seeds cycle, but that’s just another thing I haven’t kept up with. So at this point it’s a lost cause. I’m not physically able to hoe this all down by myself so I’ll till it under with the tractor despite the fact that in doing so I’m essentially planting weed seeds.
Squash bugs. Because they are still white and haven't developed their black and red skin I can tell they are young, thus susceptible to pesticides. Hate to use pesticides but these critters will quickly destroy what little managed to grow. So I'll compromise my morals in this instance.

I discovered that the squash bugs are back. They have infested the spaghetti squash pretty badly. I’ll look in the fridge that is in the garage, where I store seeds and chemicals, to see if I have anything to kill them with. That fridge no longer cools but I keep it plugged in and running anyway, hoping it at least keeps things from getting real hot inside. The idea is to keep seeds and things from going bad. It was free from the widow because it didn’t work for her so I brought it here to use as a worm bin, but when I plugged it in it worked. It might just need a recharge of Freon or something but we don’t have the money for that right now.

Time to get to work. Hopefully I’ll get lots of seeds planted. Don’t have a lot of confidence in that. Don’t have a lot of confidence in much of anything right now. I’ll try my best and see what happens. Part of today will be spent applying for replacement driver’s license and other things lost with my wallet. At some point I might run the disc over areas I disced yesterday with the hope it might bring the wallet to the surface. That’s a lot of area as I spent about three hours doing it.
This is the area that I'll just disc under. You can't see it but it has carefully plowed furrows with drip irrigation tape installed. I'll pull of the tape and start over.
Went out and took these pictures. It started raining again. The soil is too wet to run the disc over again so that idea is out, the one about running the disc to see if it brings my wallet to the surface.

Posted a picture on Burr’s Sibley Nature Center site of a plant that was mixed in with the weeds I pulled. Come to find out it’s called “devils claw” that has a wicked looking seed pod I’ve seen in various places. Burr put a link to a photo essay they have at Sibley’s website on it. Cool plant that has many uses from food to basket weaving material. Hard to believe this delicate looking flower can produce such a nasty looking seed pod. Don’t have time to look up a picture of the seed pod but it has wicked long curved hooks on it designed to catch a ride on passing BIG critters.

Cherie’s got some nice clothes out for me to wear when we go to town to start replacing lost wallet stuff. She’s going to drive cause I don’t have a license with me. Normally I wear whatever nasty clothing I’ve been working in because I’m not terribly worried about how I look to others and don’t feel like changing clothes every time I go somewhere. I’m sure that just gives the gossips something to talk about.


We use this area of the driveway as our rain gauge.

Miscreants

6/30/10 Wednesday
It rained some more last night and off and on most of the day so far. That makes it too muddy for me to use the plow. Maybe tomorrow, we’ll have to wait and see. Doesn’t matter cause there is plenty to do. It’s noon now and I just came in to take my pill. Ben and Gretchen were not here in the morning, as so often happens. When there was no sign of them by 11:30 I got in the truck and drove around, hoping to see them and encourage their journey home, and half afraid of finding their bodies somewhere. Didn’t have any luck locating them so I came back to the house.

Sam has been busy working for me all day. When I picked him up at the halfway house he expressed his gratitude for just allowing him to get away from there. I’ll keep him here working for as long as we have money to do so. He needs the money to pay his rent there, and is appreciative of having something constructive to do. We started the morning with a short bible study and prayer, as I try to do. Don’t always succeed at that when it’s just me working but when I have any of the guys here I make it important.

We alternate between working outside and organizing the garage depending on the rain. If it’s a light sprinkle we stay working out in it but when a shower comes rolling through we head inside the garage. We restacked the pile of wood that is to be burned for I noticed how close it is to where the main power line comes across from the pole. Last thing we need is for the intense fire to melt the insulation off of that. Right now we are clearing more weeds from some of the garden plots and plan on sowing more Bermuda grass seed there to take advantage of the wet ground.

On my way inside I saw Ben and Gretchen coming across the farmer’s field across the highway, on their way home. I breathed a sigh of relief and a prayer of “Thank you” to God (Yeah, I pray for my dogs) when I saw the miscreants. Suckers sure cause us a lot of stress. It would be nice if they stayed home but that’s not going to happen. At least they were in one piece and not full of porcupine quills or anything.

That’s it for now. There’s work to do and I can’t let Sam do it all by himself while I lay in bed and write this.

I am blessed

Here's a patch of Bermuda. Eventually, with care and fertilizing, it will be a lawn

6/28/10 Monday
The start of another week. First thing I need to do is make a list of what I need to do, or at least would like to accomplish this week. The quarter or half inch of rain we got yesterday spurs me to take advantage of it. It’s been dry for months now so this is a break I’ve been waiting for. I wonder if any of the Bermuda grass seed I planted over the last two months will now come up. There were only bits and pieces that germinated and they have barely survived. An exception is a place in the back yard where I would lay a garden hose that has a slow leak to keep it watered. That area has done well.


The raked out area between the posts is the pathway I sowed Bermuda grass seed. Eventually my vision is to have all the pathways lush with grass


I disked up the area I wanted to plant the Giant hay Bermuda in yesterday after church. I had some of the lawn grass Bermuda seed mixed with sand still in the broadcast spreader I’d used to spread it a couple of weeks ago and that got soaked by the rain so I had to do something with it. It was soaking wet so wouldn’t go through the spreader so I prepared an area and sowed it by hand. There’s no way I was going to let it go to waste and besides that I needed to use the spreader to get the Giant hay Bermuda sowed.


This is where the Bermuda hay seed was sowed. It will be interesting to see how it does. Don't have a clue what it looks like, nor am I sure what to do with it when, or if, it comes up.

There were dark threatening clouds to the south and not much daylight left so I pushed to get it sowed. Pulling the broadcast spreader through the disked soil fast enough for it to fling the seed out was quite a chore. Despite the rain the dirt was mostly dry because when I ran the disk it mixed the inch or so that was wet on top with about six inches of bone dry sandy soil that was underneath. If you’ve ever walked on a sandy beach you’ll know what I’m talking about. Only I was walking fast and pulling the broadcast spreader behind me, and had to maintain that pace without stopping in order to insure the seed was spread evenly. I can sure feel it this morning.

With a 70% chance of rain predicted today and more rain possible for the next few days there’s an opportunity for me to plant many of the seeds that I wasn’t able to before. I was able to I guess but learning that the seeds won’t germinate with the well water I lost hope and didn’t. So I plan on hooking the plows up to the tractor and once again attempting to plant crops.

Part of the problem I’ve had was losing that hope, being demoralized by the failures of almost everything I planted before. The other part is my inability to keep up with all the work that needs doing. The time are resources spent on tearing that barn down took a big bite out of it. All of that work required paid help and if that had been focused on this farm there is so much that would have been accomplished. Poor decision making on my part I suppose, but at the time it seemed right.



On the list of things to do is the ever present weeds. They grow despite a lack of rain and they grow…well, like weeds. When Mike, one of the halfway house guys I hired, came out to help finish the barn he was amazed at the weeds for what he had done for me before was chop them down. He couldn’t believe how fast and big they had grown.


That weed, behind my now defunct tractor (Transmission blew) wasn't there two weeks ago

The weeds are everywhere and huge. I’ve had to use the hoe like an axe to chop them down and worry that I will break it. I’ve broken several hoes since we moved here and this one was the biggest heaviest hoe I could find. The Toro weed whacker we were gifted with will not touch these weeds, even with the solid metal blade attachment on it. With this rain these weeds will explode. I’ve been focusing on hoeing the sticker grass and weeds out of the garden plots and haven’t even been able to keep up with that. There’s about three hundred dollars left in the farm account, so I’ll use it to pay Sam to come out and help. I earned about $400 working for a friend but that’s already been spent on labor, plus fuel and almost a hundred for flea and tick medicine. Plus I earned $150 cutting down a tree so I’m working to pay others to work here on the farm. That works for me just fine. I’ve always been a do whatever it takes to reach my goals kind of person and enjoy work. Work just doesn’t always enjoy me and comes with a price that I pay in this beat up body. Thank God for pain medication. As much as I despise it, it allows me to keep going.

I’ll call the halfway house this morning and see if Sam is available to work. It’s going to be nice and cool for a few days so that will help. Cool out here being 87 degrees, much better than the high nineties and over one hundred degree temperatures we’ve had lately, with high humidity on top of that.

(Click to enlarge) The plaque that hangs on my wall. I carved this while recovering

So that’s it for now. I’m blessed folks, no matter how things look. I have a loving wife and a house to live in, we have food to eat, so what more can a man ask for. Oh some people would ask for a lot more but with these simple things I am content. I’ve lived without a roof over my head and not knowing if I would eat that day so understand what it means to go without. I’ve wandered lost with sever brain damage, I was taught how to walk and talk, facing the real possibility that I would never be able to do either one of those things. I was dead, but now I live. So I am blessed and so much has been restored to me. I will strive to improve what I have and part of my motivation is to be able to help others, to provide for those who have less than I. That’s part of my creed, part of the code I live by. You can read it on this plaque, which hangs on the wall of our office. “Money and things can vanish in a flash. What has real lasting value is the lives you touch”. There is a God, and my life is proof of His mercy and grace.

Time to get to work.
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2:30 – I got the brush unloaded from the trailer. Can’t remember when I took a pain pill last and I didn’t make a note of it, but the pain level is pretty high so I’m taking one anyway. My legs are a little weak from trudging around with the seed spreader for a couple of hours straight yesterday. Had a hard time climbing up on the trailer. Had to do that over half a dozen times and each time was an effort. But I got the job done and that’s the point. Moved the truck and trailer to where the big pile of future firewood is. It has the bigger logs from the tree I cut down on it and I need to cut them to the right size to fit in the wood burner. Plus I’ll pile the scraps from the other wood on the trailer as I cut it up and transfer them to the burn pile. I might have to think about that because it’s a big pile now and will end up being huge. It might be better to make a separate pile. When I light that sucker up it will be a pretty big fire and safety is always important. I can’t light any fires like that till the burn ban is dropped. That will require a lot of rain before it’s considered safe. Plus I must wait till the wind is blowing in a safe direction. Our house is old and the siding tinder box dry with the paint mostly worn off so a single spark could well cost us everything. I’m careful even when I burn the small piles of sticker grass.

Right now I’m inside with my constant companions, Rascal and Trixie. Mama’s not real thrilled about them getting on the bed but we’ve worked out sort of a compromise. We keep a sheet covering the bed and I work to make sure it covers her pillows but Rascal invariably works it off as he squirms around. Cherie’s not keen on dog hair all over her pillow. But they love me, especially Rascal, and he always desires to be next to me, especially when he knows I don’t feel well and need to lie down. It’s hard to say no. Whenever Cherie tells him to get off the bed Rascal comes over to me, looks in my eyes with that “Please let me stay” look. As Cherie persists in demanding he get down, frustrated at my lack of support in that, Rascal will lay his head on my stomach and snuggle in, always looking in my eyes. Sometimes he wins but mostly, having some semblance of wisdom, I side with mom and tell him to get down. This he does as if his heart has been broken.

But they are here with me and Carman Kitty has climbed on my chest, as he often does, purring and rubbing his head on my beard. Carman has a particular liking of my beard. Hey, it’s good to be loved. And animals do so without preconditions. Much better than people in that regard. I’ll let the pain pill kick in and head back out in about a half hour.

A muggy day

6/27/10 Sunday
It is a muggy day, already warm despite only being 10:00 in the morning. Last night we were excited to see a big rain storm heading out way. I went online and looked at Channel 9’s radar and saw a big line of storms heading directly our way. “Cool, rain at last!” I thought and went outside to pick things up. The wind was blowing, lightning was flashing, and we could smell the rain in the air as we watched it come over Midland from the back yard. I turned off the water sprinkler I’d just started to try and save a few small pieces of Bermuda grass I found in the side yard. It was getting late and we generally call it a night after watching the news, which ends at 10:30.

The rain never came. It was hard to believe. I woke up this morning thinking I must have slept through the storm but going outside found everything to be dry as dust. In fact dust is a good description of what we have out there. God willing we will be blessed with some rain over the next few days. The weatherman predicts a 20% chance of rain so we’ll pray to be in that number.

Depression is a fight both Cherie and I have to make. I guess it’s Cherie’s turn now. She’s having a rough morning, crying but not knowing why. I prayed for her and assured her of my support and that helped some.

Yesterday we went to visit the widow. Cherie showed her the flyers and business cards she designed for Ms. G. The widows job at the school district is being messed with by the new head guy. He’s brought back children labeled as psychotic to the class and cut her hours. She must take a forced vacation too. All of this impacts the few dollars she makes there and depends on for basics in life. Her idea is to be a senior sitter, to assist families with seniors that need supervision by giving them some time away through her being able to sit with them. It’s a good idea and something Ms G has done before. So we are going to help her get something going.

While Cherie sat with Ms G I mowed her lawn and dug up some weeds. The grandson in law, whom is going through a divorce and living with her, was there. He has his two kids for the weekend so was playing with them. I’ve tried to talk to the guy but he avoids it. Come to find out he has been sneaking a girlfriend, who is also going through a divorce, in at night and trying to get her out early in the morning before Ms G wakes up. It’s sad to watch all of this. Not so much for him but because I know the trauma this has and will cause for the children. He will reap what he sows, and indeed already is, but the children are the innocent victims. I just want to smack him to wake him up. But it’s not my place to do so.



I need to unload the wood and brush from that tree we cut down. It will go in what will be a big burn pile. I just can’t burn until we get a good rain and it’s safe to do so. That might be a while. Time to get to work. We visited the local church we’ve been to a couple of times now. It’s a lot closer. We love our friends at the Midland church so don’t want to neglect them but it’s nice to not have to drive forty miles to go to church and back. I am conflicted about this. We like the little local church and it’s more in line with our background, church wise. For now we will divide our time between the two.
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We just had a short but intense rain. One of these days I need to buy a new rain gauge. Meantime the one at the end of our driveway tells me that we got a decent amount of rain in five minutes. I’ll go out and check the soil in a bit to see how far down it permeated. Regardless of how far down it was there was enough that I can now go out and do what I’ve been desiring to do for weeks now, plant Bermuda hay seed and perhaps blackeyed peas too. It’s 4:00 so the rest of the day I’ll be playing in the dirt. Thank God for the rain.