More puppies

10/10/07 Wednesday
I’m feeling better this morning. Still running a little slow, a six on the bob scale. Of course the puppies aren’t jumping for joy as they usually do in the mornings. We let Trixie stay with us all night instead of putting her in the puppy room. We were going to let them both stay in the house but Rascal got active around midnight, wanting to play and get us up. So he got put up. Trixie isn’t remotely excited about anything but that’s to be expected considering her surgery was basically a total hysterectomy. We will have to keep an eye on Rascal to protect Trixie from his exuberance. In two weeks I am sure that she will again be running circles around Rascal. Right now she just lays hurting with an occasional whelp when she moves wrong. We just pet and love her. That helps us as much as her. They are the children we can never have.

Today I will try to figure out what is wrong with the truck. I hope I won’t have to tear the dash off again. Crawling underneath it to look up at the wiring is painful. For that matter so is crawling under the truck. My two ton hydraulic car jack is broken so I have no way of lifting the truck. Hope I never get a flat. Poor Rascal wants to play but Trixie is not even up to it.
--------------------------------
I think I’ll have to give up on fixing the truck myself. I looked and looked, pulled on this wire and that but cannot find the problem. Started the truck with Cherie’s car and let them both run hooked up with the cables for an hour to charge the battery. Then Cherie and I went to pick up our mail in Stanton with the truck to charge it some more. We stopped at the FSA office to correct the address they have for Cherie. She found out that the CRP checks haven’t been released yet. That leaves things pretty tight. We are counting on that once a year check to catch up on stuff and get a few extras like food for a cookout for all those who have helped us. Plus Wally pointed out my inspection sticker had expired on the truck. We are not used to the Texas way of doing things yet. Ohio doesn’t have an inspection program like this at all so the thought never crossed our mind.

I left the truck running the whole time we were out. When we got home I immediately tried to start it after turning it off. Nope, dead as it could be, just clicked. When that CRP check comes I’ll have to take it to a shop and pay the big bucks to get it fixed. If I’m lucky it’s just the battery or alternator. I just don’t have the bucks to buy a battery and put it in to see if that works. We’ll just use Cherie’s car and when we need to use the truck I’ll jump start it and not turn it off till we get home.

It’s another hard day for me. That makes two or three in a row. The brain is still operating at a six on the bob scale but I’ve got one of those splitting headaches. I’m still trying to work but it’s no fun. Planted the seeds from the cactus plant we picked up along the road in New Mexico. I hope some come up. I’m gonna get on the tiller again. Haven’t touched it in a while. Chuck and Lillian dropped by yesterday with Miracle, their little girl. What a cutie she is. I again asked if I could take some pictures of their place and see if I could dig up some help for them. They are fine with it.

Puppies fixed???

10/9/07 Tuesday
I was sick yesterday. Had to stay close to the bathroom and pretty much had no energy. It is hard sometimes to tell the difference between being sick versus the effects of the brain injury. With both I feel like crap but having the runs let me know it wasn’t just the brain thing. I’m not much better this morning and stayed in bed most of the time. We took the puppies in for their operations early this morning. They are both getting “Fixed”. I was so out of tune that I didn’t realize I was wearing my house slippers till we went to McDonalds to grab breakfast.

I hope to get the truck figured out today. Will force myself to get out and work. We pick the puppies up at three or so. That’s it for now. Our friend, Amy, is coming up next weekend and asked if we could advise her on a hotel closer to us because the one she stayed at before is on railroad tracks so not restful. It would be nice have her stay with us but there is only a couch she could sleep on and no shower. Her budget is tight so the motels we know of closer to Stanton might not be good. They look expensive but it would be smart to call and know for sure.
-------------------------------
It’s been a hard day so far. Real slow and it’s hard to figure things out. I got my volt/ohm meter out to look for the electrical problem on the truck. It didn’t take long for me to put it up. I would poke and prod but when the needle moved didn’t have a clue what it meant. Everything is hard now. This is when I tell Cherie to not ask me to make simple decisions such as what I want to eat. I let her drive when we took the puppies to the vet. Can’t trust myself to drive when like this.

We just got back from the vet. The puppies are doing well considering. We will watch them carefully over the next few days. Trixie will have the hardest time as there was much more to her operation than Rascal’s. I hope my mind is clearer tomorrow. Yesterday was rough also. It feels like I’m on drugs right now. Ears ringing, head feels full, and not too steady on my feet on top of having a hard time thinking clear. It’s hard on Cherie as I get picky and am nervous when she’s driving.

Off to a start

10/8/07 Monday
What a start for this day. Our neighbor stopped his tractor at the corner of his field and our property and came over to talk. He asked if it would be ok for him to mow along our side of the road between us where the weeds grow pretty tall. I’ve been wanting to catch them about that ever since Cherie and I saw they had done so up by the well but stopped halfway down. I wanted to make sure they understood it was fine with me and that they could mow there anytime they wanted. He explained that when the weeds dry up they can blow into his field and that isn’t good for their combines. (I think that’s what you call them) I made sure to let him know it was fine, not only this year but from now on. Eventually I will have trees planted as a windbreak along the property line.

I walked out and pulled up the stakes I had placed yesterday marking the five acres we are pulling out of the CRP program to hopefully begin farming. That depends on if we can get a tractor. I had to pull up the stakes in order for him to mow. After marking it off I realized just how big five acres is. It’s a chunk of land for sure but only a shadow of the seventy six acres we have.

Sometime this morning I lost my keys. At first it wasn’t a big deal as forgetting where I left things is a regular event. One of the things I was taught at the Brain Injury Institute is to have a place for everything and to keep everything in it’s place. Unfortunately that doesn’t always happen. After looking everywhere I began to get worried. Cherie helped look as well but there was still no sign of them. After looking for an hour I finally found them. I had set them down when I clipped back the Dahlia’s by the mail box that the dogs had trashed.

Unfortunately the stress of losing the keys triggered a slow down. This is a rude reminder of just how delicate my brain can be, how susceptible I am to stress. It brings up doubts about my being able to teach in Sunday school. After finding the keys and relaxing I cleared up just fine.

Yesterday the truck again needed a jump. It appears that the electrical problem has returned. I know I fixed something before but suspected there was more to fix. That is confirmed now. This morning the truck was dead as a door nail. I pulled Cherie’s car up and jump started it so I could take the trash to the landfill. Out of habit I turned the truck off when I was getting out of the truck to unload the garbage bags. I had determined to leave it running but forgot. When I immediately tried to restart it, it was dead. Fortunately someone was there dumping garbage and they gave me a jump. Once again I have this problem to solve.
-----------------------------
3:35 – I am not doing so good right now. Cherie went over to Steve and Janie’s to finish cleaning up for their return from Santa Fe. When I wrote the previous entry I was having to work to stay awake. Right now I am only running a four on the bob scale. Pretty slow. I took a nap at 1:00. Have a headache on top of everything. This sucks.

Oil rigs here

10/6/07 Saturday
It is 3:39 right now. I am pretty tired but that isn’t unusual for this time of day. To finish up yesterday, we went to Steve and Janie’s where Cherie did some of our laundry and worked on organizing one of the closets. Bud is house sitting for them and I think we caught him by surprise. I know he had to run and get clothes on cause he said he had been taking a bath. He didn’t seem very comfortable with us. I went over and visited with Jay and his wife. Jay is the neighbor next door who is getting us a new window through his friend who runs the “Christmas in Action” ministry. We talked for a few hours I guess. Jay let me know that the ministry was putting a new roof on a ladies house and he was volunteering to help them out. I don’t know if he asked me of if I asked about helping as well. Regardless it was ok and I got the address.

With all that done I went back over to Janie’s to see how Cherie was doing. We ran out and got a bite to eat and then returned to do some more work. I guess Bud had fallen and bumped his head when I was next door at Jay’s. He told Cherie he would be going out that night. I would have been in the way of Cherie so I watched TV. Their dog, Zack, got up on the couch next to me and, laying his head on my leg, went to sleep.

This morning Cherie went to a quilting show. I drove over to where Christmas in Action was putting the roof on. Jay was there and we helped clean up the ladies yard. There was lots of stuff that had gathered up. The lady is ninety or something and it all reminded me of how things were here with my grandmother’s place. Lots of things were in poor shape due to age and neglect. She sure needed the new roof and it looked like some of the plywood underneath will have to be replaced. Christmas in Action is taking care of all that. Cool stuff and so needed.


I called Wayne up in Toledo. What Wayne told me was sure confusing and not really lining up with what he said before, in fact he contradicted himself several times during the conversation. It’s got me worried. I really don’t quite know what’s going on there and lots of what Wayne said didn’t seem right. He was vague and seemed to be avoiding my questions. I hope he is alright and not being taken advantage of. I spent three years getting him set with a place to live and his social security. Now I pray it doesn’t blow away in the wind on him.

I called Sharon, another friend whom I met at the public housing project I got Wayne moved out of. Cherie and I spent a lot of time helping her also. She talks to Wayne on occasion so I hoped to get an insight on what’s going on. Sharon said that Wayne told her he didn’t trust anyone. There is a woman who has been borrowing money from Wayne that lives in his apartment complex. Also Wayne’s son is a regular visitor and I already know he’s a real winner. Wayne caught him stealing money out of his wallet. Sharon worried that the MS is affecting Wayne’s mind. That is exactly what it does. Multiple Sclerosis is a deterioration of the nerves and chemistry of the brain and the spinal cord with all it’s connections through the body. Sharon will try to get the name of Wayne’s caseworker at the Zeph Center. I should still be on his paperwork as his advocate so will be able to talk to her and try to make sure she protects Wayne’s interest. Or at least try to. God I wish I was up there.

Well they put the drilling rig up we were expecting. We watched the practiced crew putting in the pad or whatever it’s called for it several months ago. It is close enough that we will be hearing it running for however long it’ll be there. It sure lights up the sky at night. It’ll be interesting to watch how they do stuff. I’m tired now so will call it a night.

The clouds come down

10/5/07 Friday
It’s hard to believe that Friday is already here. Geese, I haven’t even gotten my sister’s birthday present yet. Been meaning to do that since we got my disability check on the first. Cherie and I have scheduled doing that for today. That’s what it takes for me to get things done. If it isn’t scheduled it seldom happens but that’s life with TBI. Cherie is at the chiropractors this morning. Don’t know what she did but her back pain is back. She had a hard time going for our walk yesterday. I insisted she call and set up an appointment. She doesn’t like to because it costs money. I reminded her that Janie has set it up with her chiropractor, the one Cherie sees, that she picks up the tab for these visits. I understand Cherie’s feelings that this is…I don’t know, she just isn’t comfortable accepting other’s help. I’m the same way also but have learned to accept the love others show. Part of that came from having to convince Wayne many times to accept the help I was giving him. That lets me see it from those shoes.

So I am behind on this journal. No surprise there. Yesterday…uhmm??? No, Wednesday we had dinner at Don and Cynthia’s when we returned the mower he had let us borrow. What a great meal she cooked. My favorite part of it was the bread she baked with her bread maker. I think I’m gonna put getting one of those on my list. Got the store bought stuff beat hands down. We had an enjoyable time visiting afterwards but I ran out of steam as I do. Cherie said I just got quiet and stopped talking. It must have been pretty noticeable, especially after I told Cherie I was tired and should go home.

Janie had called while we were there and upon hearing we were having dinner with friends (It’s so good to be able to say that, “Dinner with friends”) she asked if we could call when we were done. I may have been tired but when it comes to Steve and Janie we will always be there for them. Janie was really in a tizzy as you can read on her blog. She was getting ready for the trip to Santa Fe she and Steve were making for her job and really needed help with packing things. So we went straight over. As soon as I saw the “What do you think of this dress? Does this blouse match” stuff I bee lined it to the TV room and hid out. Nope, don’t want nothing to do with all that. Even if I was up to speed I wouldn’t but I was pretty tired and vegging in front of the TV was the best help I could be.

There was an old Charles Bronson western on. Odds are I’ve seen it before because the little tune he played on a harmonica was familiar but none of the rest was. That’s one of the beauties of memory loss. I can enjoy movies for the first time all over again. Bits and pieces may be familiar but the rest isn’t. I remember seeing the Wizard of Oz while being housed at the Volunteers of America place the courts put me in. (What a place that was. Full of crack cocaine and corruption. It may be recounted earlier in this blog. You’ll have to do a search to see. Just type in VOA). I remembered big chunks of that movie but was surprised to find it was a musical when Dorothy sang. At that time emotional control was much worse and it was embarrassing when I started crying during a sad part of the movie.

Cherie was a big help for Janie and was elated to have been so. Janie took us out to Whattaburger after. It was after midnight. The Whattaburger was kind of nasty with lots of some kind of small beetle and a few crickets crawling around. I even had a beetle or two crawl up my leg. Yuck. Doesn’t make for an enjoyable meal. We didn’t get home till around one that morning. We didn’t have a problem falling to sleep though waking up wasn’t as easy.

Yesterday? I can’t remember much of it right now. Let me think. OK, I fired up the weedeater for the first time. I don’t know why but that sucker tires me out much faster than the lawn mower. Yeah! That reminds me. Wally brought over his mower for us. He wants to buy a new one so said we can have his old one. He may need to use it a few times as, being a savvy shopper, he wants to wait for the prices to go down as they always do in winter. It’s a real nice Craftsman with a 5.5 horse motor that should handle the heavy stuff out here just fine. This is the mower that…uhm? What’s His Name from Sunday school said was coming. I apologize for not remembering names and being too lazy to go back in this journal and look it up. Usually I can ask Cherie who’s name it is but she’s at the doctor now.

What else happened? I took some cool pictures. The one at the beginning of this entry I call “When Clouds Come down”. It was great to watch. We could have used the rain here but the storm stayed just north of us. At least we were able to smell the rain washed air. Then there is this rainbow. It never made a complete bow but was cool with the oil rig as a backdrop. There was almost a double rainbow. You might be able to see the glimmer of one forming to the left but it never really materialized.

Cherie did some laundry and wasn’t happy with the laundrymat. “I’m not happy. You get what you pay for” she said when she came home. We will go over to Janie’s and take her up on the much repeated offer to use her washer and dryer. It’s a battle for me to et Cherie to do so, that same uncomfortable thing she has accepting such offers.

So today I’ve broken out the weedeater again. I’m using the brush cutting attachment again to attack the big weeds I couldn’t get with the mower. Some of them are a challenge for the weedeater. Took a bit of doing to get em. I’ve cut some of the weeds on this fence row but need to go on the other side to get at the rest.


Here is the pile of weeds I started. It’ll get pretty big and when all dried out will make a great fire. Won’t last long but there nothing like a five minute bonfire. I might do it at night. It will be a week before it’s dry enough to burn.

So I came in for a quick rest about an hour ago. It’s time to get back to work. They are predicting a warm day in the nineties so don’t want to waste the cooler hours
----------------------------------
I just did a search for VOA in this blog. What a powerful thing this journal is. I've been going back in time with it, reading and remembering. God what a life I have lived. How appropriate the title of this blog is. There is so much good and so much bad. Everyone tells me I should write a book. I've started it a few times but it's hard to focus and there is so much else I must do that I don't find the time.

Today I pay

10/3/07 Wednesday
Today I pay for yesterday. It’s a pain pill morning but I am sharp with the brain operating at a strong eight on the bob scale. I hope it stays that way all day. I love these times when my fingers dance on the keyboard of this computer because I don’t have to think through what I’m going to say or what button belongs to the letter I want to type. Cherie and I will go for a walk this morning, renewing this morning exercise routine. We stopped during the cotton surveys as that involved lots of walking through plowed fields with soft sandy soil. Cherie got maybe four times as much exercise doing that than our half mile walk up the road. The puppies miss that and kept trying to get us to go for the walk yesterday and the day before. I’m going to fire up Don’s mower and finish getting everything mowed. After that I am looking forward to using the weed eater (I’m not really sure what you call it) that our Sunday school class bought for us. Slowly but surely things are coming together for us. We have hot water, a kitchen to cook in, air conditioning, along with several other things, and soon a lawn mower. Basic things that help greatly with life out here. We are so blessed it’s hard to take in.
--------------------------------
It’s 3:30 now. Been mowing since nine this morning. This is a clear illustration of how my ability to judge things like volume and time is impaired from the brain injury. In my mind I was almost done and only had maybe an hours worth of mowing left to do. I’m still not done. I think I’m almost there but can’t rely on that. Had to take a break and Cherie suggested I go ahead and quit. Quitting I’m not good at but she made a good point when she said she didn’t want me all tired out when we go to eat dinner with Don and his wife. Her name escapes me at the moment but I think I have it written in earlier entries of this journal. Hang on while I go look. It’s Cynthia. See, that’s how keeping this journal is a tool that helps compensate for the short term memory loss.
Johnson grass?? Crabgrass??Don't know the name but it's nasty stuff

I need to go clean up the mower before we take it back. I already sharpened the blade back up. The Johnson grass was so thick that it has built up an inch thick with the thorns on the wheels of the mower. I want to make sure all the thorns are gone or they will infect Don’s lawn cause all they are is seeds. Cherie went to Midland to pick up her prescription and look at canning equipment. She picked half a bushel of tomatoes off the four plants that are producing this morning. We’ll have to give them away cause we don’t have what we need to can or preserve any of them. There is so much we need to learn here. Next year, God willing, we will have tons more. The five acres we are pulling out of CRP will be available and if I can get a tractor I’ll plant all of it. I don’t know too much about farming but I know more than I did this time last year. In November we will celebrate our first full year here in Texas. Hard to believe that’s all it’s been. Seems like we’ve been here three or four years. I suppose I should take a nap cause I’m nodding off as I write but I really want to keep working. There is so much to do. Maybe I can only nap an hour or so. The puppies are in so they will wake me up if they start stirring. If nothing else Cherie will come home and get me up but I want to make sure I get the mower cleaned up. Nuff talking. Nap time.

Mowin and mowin

10/2/07 Tuesday
I’ve been out mowing. Mowed till I ran out of gas so figured that was a good time for a break. It’s slow going with the weeds and grass so high. The mower surprisingly does better with the weeds than the grass. I guess that’s because the grass is denser. I’ll have to sharpen the blade again when I’m done. I look forward to tilling the whole area up and planting regular grass. It will look so much better in addition to being easier to keep up. First on the list though is going to be the Johnson grass wars. I was calling it crabgrass because I’ve heard the name before and it seemed to fit. At the compost seminar the extension agent referred to Johnson grass so that may be it. I don’t really know but it’s nasty stuff and everywhere.

I took a pain pill and will do some more research for the business plan as I lay down and rest a bit. Cherie said that when she talked to Don’s wife, Cynthia, and she said that his foot was hurting and when they had it X-rayed there were two fractured bones in it. I hope it didn’t happen when he loaded the mower on his truck to bring out here.

Yesterday Cherie ran into a lady we had known at the first church of Stanton. Cherie was surprised and happy when she was greeted with enthusiasm and invited to come out and visit. I am glad to hear it as well. It gives me something good to write about regarding that arena.
----------------------------

12:21 – That’s the second tank of gas I’ve used with the mower. Got the apple orchard (Only nine trees but I’m calling it an orchard. Just feels good) mowed. I’ll focus on the back yard and perhaps the melon patch after that. Haven’t decided on mowing the melon patch yet. Thinking about saving that for the tiller so the weeds get tilled into the soil, thus enhancing the soil. For sure I want to mow on the north side where the school bus is. It’s getting pretty warm but I’m gonna push through. Will make sure to stay hydrated with Gatorade. We want to return the mower tomorrow. Cynthia called Cherie and asked if we would join them for dinner when we returned the mower. I told Cherie to ask if their lawn needs to be mowed. Would love to do it and besides that Don’s foot is in a cast or something because of the fractured bones. So I’m setting in front of the fan and Cherie is heating up some tomato soup and making a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch.

The more I research RV parks and campgrounds the more I see what a valuable part of Westbrook farms that would be. In fact it excites me. Looking at the ones that are listed for sale I find twenty acre sites going for up to two million dollars. It is a rapidly growing industry and there are whole websites dedicated just to investors because it is so lucrative. I drove through the property yesterday, just looking and visualizing how the whole concept of Westbrook farms can come together. It’s all beginning to gel, to become clear. So here’s the big picture. A model farm that is self sufficient using the latest technologies. It will have a pick your own orchard with apples, peaches, and whatever else grows well out here. The one in Lubbock has 6,000 trees on twenty two acres. There will be several large greenhouses where organic herbs and vegetables will be grown. They will incorporate aquaponics, which is a hydroponic system that uses fish raised in tanks to fertilize and feed plants which in turn clean the water as it returns to the tanks. Thus we have fish such as Tilapia that can be harvested along with the crops. Chickens that will also be raised organically thus providing income from their eggs and meat. Goats for both meat and milk. An RV park and campground with a fish pond and swimming area as added attractions in addition to bringing in customers for the orchards greenhouse produce. There will be a large building that will house the store and a restaurant in addition to a food processing area where we will make and package products from the farm under the Westbrook Farms label. I envision lots of fruits and berries. Raspberries, blueberries, strawberries, and anything else I can grow. Part of the concept is to partner with a land grant university such as Texas A&M to provide an educational entity, thus tapping into a powerful resource to help create all this. Yeah, I dream big. If nothing else I will have a nice garden.
-------------------------------
It’s been a long day. Used five tanks of gas in the mower. Just kept going till I couldn’t go anymore. I was getting pretty lightheaded towards the end but pushed on till the mower ran out of gas. There is still a little left to do but that’s too bad. Maybe I’ll finish it up tomorrow. Maybe I won’t. Depends on how I feel. We are returning the mower tomorrow so I have to clean it up. When Cherie asked Cynthia about their lawn she said that Don had borrowed his daughters mower and mowed it today. With two fractured bones in his foot. He’s about as stubborn or whatever you call it as I am. I’m going to work on the business plan now. Dug up some good information on what is called Agri-Tourism. Got a paper on it from the state of Virginia. They call themselves the commonwealth of Virginia. Lots to do so enough writing on this.

Sprayin

It’s a little after two now. I put together the weed eater that our Sunday school class bought for us. Then I disconnected the self propel drive from the mower Dave gave us. I don’t need it and the cable was in need of replacement. It frustrates me for it to take so long to accomplish tasks. I wanted to be mowing by now. I just remembered that I did finish spraying Roundup on the weeds. I finally broke down and did this despite how much I dislike using any kind of poison. There had been some Roundup left in the garage when we first moved here. I guess no one wanted to steal that. There was also a sprayer that didn’t get stolen but it had been tucked away and not easy to see. I’m going to buy another bottle of it and finish spraying the rest of the weeds. Mostly the Johnson grass as it’s stickers are our biggest nemesis. They get all over our boots and tracked in the house despite our efforts to avoid that. They also are a constant source of pain for the puppies, getting stuck on their paws all the time. I figure I’ll spray this year with the theory that next year will be better because I should be able to till the yard and plant Buffalo and Bermudas grass.

I’m pretty tired as I often am at this time of day. Cherie went into Midland this morning. I don’t know when she will get back. As much as I dislike it I will take the nap the doctors and my body say I need. It’s like I’m eighty years old or something. Frustrating.
-----------------------------
Well, I sharpened the blade, changed the oil, removed the drive, put gas in it, and tried to start the mower Dave gave us. No go. Seven years of setting doesn’t do a mower any good. I don’t know if the float was stuck or seals dried up and cracked but the gas just poured out of the carburetor. It’ll take a bit of work to get this running. I went ahead and started up the mower Don is lending us. Didn’t get much done because I ran out of time. Had to stop to grill the steaks we picked up yesterday. It’s the once a month get something nice meal. Good stuff but I over cooked the steaks. I gotta practice this grilling stuff.

To the glory of God

10/1/07 Monday
We are both planning on a busy day. Yesterday was both a good and rough day. The rough part was due to partial seizures that effected the physical side. For any new readers I’ll explain. The partial seizures, or petite as some doctors call them, aren’t the kind most think of such as epilepsy. These are where particular parts of the brain become hyperactive, with neurons beginning to fire at an ever increasing pace. One medical paper I read put it well. Imagine a room full of mousetraps, all of them laid tightly together and each one with a ping pong ball on it. Then throw a ping pong ball in the middle. That starts a chain reaction which soon has the entire room in uproar with ping pong balls flying all over. When these happen to me whatever area of the brain it occurs in is the area of my body that is affected.

Yesterday it was primarily on the physical side. I was dizzy and had to keep my hand on something to provide a reference in order to not fall or stumble. At these times the partial paralysis makes itself known. You see, when they taught me how to walk in the hospital they basically taught another part of my brain to operate my right leg and other parts of my right side. They call traumatic brain injuries the hidden illness for many times it is not clearly apparent to the outside observer.

These seizures ebb and wane during their occurrence so I may limp noticeably one moment and not at all a few minutes later. To some it seems like I am faking and this has caused a little gossip or whatever you call it. I suppose judgmentalism would fit. Then there are the times other areas are affected such as my reasoning ability or emotions, the cognitive part of the brain.

The emotional part is hardest on Cherie as I may fly off in anger with a minor provocation. Often cognitive impairments are triggered by outside stimuli. Things such as being in a big store with lots of activity and needing to make decisions on what to buy. This overwhelms my ability to process information and creates the event I call a “slow down”. But it doesn’t always happen, again raising question in some minds.

Now I admit I have a level of paranoia regarding this, generated by the attitudes and experiences I have had since I woke from the coma. Now much of this I realize I cause myself. My lack of social skills, saying inappropriate or not well thought out things in addition to the facial expressions that convey emotions that aren’t there. I had been described as being “Arrogant” based on how I stood and looked in addition to being angry by one of the pastors of a church in Toledo we became members of. That church then asked us in writing to “find another church”. That hurt was deep for both Cherie and I, it was the same pastor that called me arrogant who married us in that church.

I write all this because of my goal to help others understand traumatic brain injuries for the sake of the 1.5 million or so who suffer a TBI every year. I told Cherie that if I was drooling in a wheelchair I would have been better accepted for then the issues would be clearly visible. What a relief, what a blessing it is for us to have found and been accepted by those in our Sunday school class at First Baptist of Midland. There is a fear I have deep inside that something will change. It is not justified but a fear none the less. Kind of like fearing being hit at a stop sign because it had happened before. I am always worried I will say something wrong or cause this. That is one of the reasons I’ll have Cherie review this before I post it on the blog. She is my editor so to speak. Unfortunately I don’t always take her advice, convinced of the rightness of my position. But she is pretty much right in her judgment on this stuff.

I had put a request on the Sunday school group email to borrow a lawnmower with a note that if anyone had an old one they didn’t need, even if it needed repairs, we could use one. Don brought his out (which I broke as you can see it the previous journal entry) Dave had one that had been in storage so he brought it to Sunday school and gave it to us. Then Randy and Judy, told us they had a surprise to give us after class. It is a brand new Toro weed whacker with a heavy brush attachment. He let us know that the entire Sunday school class has chipped in to get it and that there is also a lawnmower that will be coming soon. It is overwhelming for us to be the recipients of such generosity and compassion. A few months ago I posted an essay entitled “Why me” to describe our feelings on these displays of Christian love. The miracle of our life continues. It seems that ever since I woke up from the coma things have been falling into place as if there is an unseen hand guiding it all. Just the miracle of how Cherie and me have had our marriage restored is amazing in itself. But that is only one brick in the wall of this new life I, we are being blessed with. It is as if everything is slowly falling into place of a structure who’s blueprint was drawn up long ago. There have been some exceedingly hard times but I feel that even they will ultimately be used for good, lessons that can be transferred to others, improving their lives. We are truly blessed.

So there is lots I wish to do. As you can probably tell my mind is working well this morning, running a strong eight on the bob scale. Time to get to work

Good pride, bad pride

It’s 7:43. I am still rough, slow and the headache is still there. I laid down for an hour or so but made myself get up because there are things that need doing. Not feeling good is just an inconvenience. I fabricated a cover for the lawnmower Don let us borrow. It covers a hole where he had removed the gears for the self propelled drive. Don said he was going to fix it so I figure he’ll appreciate me doing it. Then I sharpened the mower blade. It didn’t look like it had ever been sharpened, which is not unusual. The blades still cut so most folks don’t even think about it. However, with the big weeds I was cutting it makes a big difference. Besides that it’s the right way to do things, take care of the equipment someone lets you borrow.


So with that done I started mowing. The mower handled the weeds just fine. I went slow and often had to pull the mower backwards over where I had just been to catch the plants that had been pushed down as I went over. Things were going well till I started to hear a loud clicking. I thought I may have run over a rock but pulling the mower back didn’t see anything so I proceeded. BAM !!! It stopped. I tipped it over to discover that the metal blade guard that runs across the front had come loose and hit the blade. Did a number on the freshly sharpened blade. I took it back to the garage to take a closer look. At some point one side of the guard had been unfastened and not reinstalled correctly. Looks like it had been set over the bolt that’s supposed to hold it.


The tension would have held it in place and it probably would have been fine for years but cutting the heavy weeds did it in. It’s pretty chewed up. The mower works fine without it but is more dangerous as rocks and things can get flung out. No danger for the operator cause it’s in the front. I’ll see if I can fix it later. It took a lot to get the mower started after that, probably because I had it on it’s side while I worked on it. I mowed in front of the house but finally had to call it quits. Just hurt too much. I wanted to get this all done today so I could return the mower tomorrow but didn’t make it. I’ll talk to Don at Sunday school. I think his name is Don but am not sure at the moment. That’s the memory thing acting up.

It’s almost nine. I think I will go out to the garage and work on the tiller some. It’s good to have the light bulb hooked up. I look forward to when I get the fluorescent lights I picked up at Habitat For Humanity hooked up. This picture is our burn barrel. I've hooked a shop vac I picked up at the landfill in reverse so it blasts air into the barrel. That sucker incinerates everything, even melting glass. You can see how it glows red.

I’ve missed quite a lot on this journal. Going through some pictures I see a couple I want to post. First are these showing how I covered the holes that the puppies have dug in the walls of their room. I used panels peeled off some doors I scavenged at the landfill. While doing it I remember thinking of the advantages of being poor.


When you don’t have much you appreciate more what you do have. When you don’t have much you learn how to be resourceful and make do with what you have. When you don’t have much pride becomes healthier. Now pride is the root of all evil but not all pride is bad. You can take pride in doing a good job. But those who are well off can be proud they are better than others and proud of silly things like how good of a car they bought or how much stuff they have. When you don’t have much it’s a little different. So I am proud of how I scavenge and make do with what I have. I often say “I do the best I can with what I have”. Is that wrong? I don’t think so. In my mind healthy pride is working to not be ashamed.


It been a harvest moon. I had to take this picture but it doesn't touch the beauty of it.

Last cotton field

9/29/07 Saturday
It was a restless night with lots of not so pleasant dreams. Many of them had the old cast of characters from my life and involved me looking for drugs. There were the flavors of desperation, distrust, and paranoia that had been a part of that lifestyle. Those are days that I am glad are ancient history and no longer play a part of my life though I live daily with the consequences because of the wreck. It was most definitely connected to the drug use.

So we are heading out to do the last cotton field. Yesterday Don and his wife came over with their lawnmower. I had put an email on the Sunday school newsletter asking if I could borrow one to cut down the weeds that are growing back from when they had rented the brush hog and cut them down. I don’t want to let them get seven feet tall again. It’s borderline but I think I can mow them down with a regular mower. Anything too big I’ll chop down. It was a nice visit. They brought the mower out instead of letting me pick it up because they wanted to come see the place. We really appreciate that and enjoyed visiting with them. It’s nice to have folks come over. I wasn’t doing that well, rather slow, but I think I hid it well.

My check came in so that relieves the pressure. It was getting close. Janie paid Cherie for the work she has been doing over there and that supplied the gas we needed to go to the cotton fields. Some of them are sixty miles away making it a hundred and twenty mile round trip. The first thing I’m doing this morning is filling the gas tank on the truck. That will be about seventy five bucks as I have a thirty gallon tank. Gas is always the first thing I get with the check. A hundred and fifty dollars worth of gas a month makes a big dent in a nine hundred dollar veteran’s disability check. Don had asked about that and Cherie’s job, just getting a handle on our situation I guess. I showed him all the things others have blessed us with over the eleven months we have been here. An air conditioner, wood burning stove to heat the house, hot water heater, and a kitchen. How grateful we are and in retrospect how sparse life was when we first arrived. We pretty much were camping out in the house.

Cherie just went out and started the truck so it’s time to go.
------------------------------
We’re back. I forgot to take a hat so probably got a little red on the bald spots. It was windy, which I like. We got the last two fields done so we are finished till next month. On the way home we drove by Luchi’s and saw it was open. Didn’t take much to decide to go there for lunch. When we see their sign saying “Open” and have some money that’s were we go. Good barbeque brisket and everything else. They aren’t open that much so it’s always good when we catch them.

I am pretty tired and have one of those headaches coming up. Haven’t had them as much lately. I tried calling Eileen, my former secretary, again and got the same “All circuits are busy” message I’ve been getting. So I called her daughter, Suzie. Woke her up, which is no surprise. She said that Eileen no longer has a phone at all. Said she was doing fine but I can’t put much stock in what Suzie says. I asked her to have Eileen called me and she said her mom doesn’t return calls. Now I really want to go to Toledo for Eileen is the best friend I’ve had and her health hasn’t been good for years. From what Suzie said I think she’s pretty depressed. Would love to move her down here, as I would Wayne and Allen. That’s me, concerned and wanting to help my friends. I’d move the whole lot down if I could. There is just no place to put them. I’ll have to take a nap. The headache is at the sensitive to light level. Not good.

Been busy, I think.

9/28/07 Friday
I know, haven’t posted in three days. I just found the camera where I had set it down and forgotten about. I’m glad it didn’t rain cause it was outside where I’ve been working on the tiller. There are many pictures on it that will help remind me of the last few days. Actually a lot of them are sunrises and sunsets so that really doesn’t help me remember what I did. So I’ll put this morning’s sunrise on and figure it all out later. This morning we are heading out to the cotton fields for more survey work.
----------------------------
Want to make a few notes here. We just got back from doing the surveys. I had that dizzy feeling that is a precursor of a slow down while we were still out there. It has since gotten worse but isn’t too bad, running a five on the bob scale. This is a physical one effecting my coordination.

Cherie told me that I have been real angry the last few days, that every little thing sets me off. I hate to hear it because this is one of the common issues with TBI. For me these things seem to come in cycles. I dislike it of course. I am much better than before but it reminds me that I still am not “normal”. The doctors say I never will be but I tend to forget that. I like to forget it and want to but can’t quite escape it. It is hard on Cherie, real hard. I love her dearly but can’t always control this anger.

Yesterday I went with Cherie to Steve and Janie’s. In my mind I was going in order to put a new screen in Steve’s laptop. I got honked off when I found he had already done it and went home in a huff. Cherie later reminded me that the main reason I went up there was to remove the morning glory vines that were taking over part of their garden. I felt like a fool. Despite having Steve point out the vines to make sure I didn’t pull up the wrong thing I didn’t remember at all. It just vanished from my mind. What gets me is I remembered the computer screen fine but pulling the vines was not there. It is so strange to remember one thing and forget the other despite having learned them both at the same time. I will be going over to do the vines as soon as I am done posting this.

There was something else I was going to write but it’s gone now. It’ll come back later. Thanks Tricia and Amy for your concern. It’s a little thing but just knowing folks out there care means a whole lot. Especially after…well I need to let go of the hurt of those who talk about love and God but never got off their ass to visit or call. Like Cherie said, I’ve been angry lately. But the simple things like comments from people I never met, showing their connection with us, is a contrast that tells. Thanks Sandy, Tricia, Amy, and the rest of you.

Out in the fields again

9/25/07 Tuesday
It’s almost three now. We got out to the cotton fields by nine or so, at least we left the house then. It was a sixty mile drive to our survey spots for today. With the plants bigger there is more work but none of these compare to the cotton we sampled yesterday. This farmer's cotton is way impressive. Joe, Cherie’s boss, said he knew it would be. The guy has a reputation for good farming. One of the things I noticed in his field was the use of winter wheat. At least I think that’s what it is. Anyway, it had been planted solid and left to grow. Now it lays dead in the rows and serves as a mulch, retaining moisture and keeping weeds down. It costs more to do this but the payoff is obvious. There are so many little tricks like this I want to learn. A little extra effort goes a long way.

I’m pretty tired now as I often am at this time of day. Just dozed off as I wrote the previous paragraph, one of those two minute snoozes. We were back out to the field I got stuck in last month. This time it was worse as the farmer had disked up the path so the sand was deep and loose. I kept the pedal down and we flew down the path. That way we didn’t get bogged down. Cherie yelled “There it is, stop” when we went past the red ribbon that marked our sample spot. I told her I couldn’t cause I could feel how deep the sand was and knew that if I did we would be stuck. I kept going till we found some more solid ground and I felt safer stopping. It meant we had to walk farther but that’s ok, better than having to walk home. I somehow got the truck turned around when it was time to go. Learned how to drive in the sand when I got stuck before.

We met Joe at home when we were done. He showed Cherie a piece of cotton and explained how to tell when it is ripe to pick. He also gave her his evaluation, which wasn’t bad at all.

I just snoozed off again. Think I’ll post this and take a nap.

An early start

This morning's sunrise

9/24/07 Monday
This week we start the months end cotton survey. Will get a jump on it this time. Heading out in a few minutes to beat the heat. I opened the calendar I keep on this laptop, something I don’t do much now a days, and found, to my chagrin, that my sister’s birthday was the third of this month. I missed it. Not good. She is the one person in my family that talks, or at least emails me. Of all the people I need to keep up with she is top of the list. I did remember to send Bruce and Adam, my two boys that came with the second marriage, short emails last night. I am so poor at keeping up with these kinds of things. Think of it all the time and forget it all the time. That’s why running a written schedule is so important for me or anyone else with my level of short term memory loss.
--------------------------------
Absolute freedom brings slavery. In a society with no rules anarchy reigns and those with evil intent and violent natures impose their will on the rest. So there must be standards, which translates into a form of censorship. Regardless of the standards there will be some who object but the standards need to be that which promote a healthy society and culture, a place we can all live in a degree of peace and harmony. I suppose a speed limit or any law can be considered a form of censorship. Those who desire to be unfettered by moral or ethical strictures will always fight to be "Free" of them. A line must always be drawn but over the eons it is always pushed back a little farther.

-------------------------
Our friend, Amy, at http://www.queensedgefarm.blogspot.com/ mentioned a paper she was writing for a class on censorship and asked for some input so I wrote this. Thought I’d put it up to see what you think.

We had a great day. I love to work and was able to get lots done. Here is Cherie out at the cotton field we sampled. Yep, we were cotton pickin son of a guns by golly. It’s a lot of work going through these plants one at a time looking for all kinds of details. My back can’t take a lot of bending over so I just sit on the ground and scoot along.


I’ve been wanting to take pictures of some of the old abandoned homesteads you see all over the place out here. There are probably hundreds of them and they all have stories to tell. I’ve been thinking it would be nice to put together a album of these and research some of the backgrounds they have.

I got stuff done here at home too. Managed to make the front door not stick as bad. You can close it with out kicking and pounding now. This way the puppies won’t be able to open it as we can close it far enough to latch.


I’m done for tonight. Ya’ll sleep well. See ya tomorrow God willing.

New day dawning

9/23/07 Sunday
It’s a new day. Caught this sunrise on camera. I love the sunrise and sunsets, still maintaining that childish wonder I’ve had ever since waking from the coma when all things were new to me. The puppies pushed open the door and galloped excitedly in as they often do in the morning. They are getting so big Rascal has no problem licking my face in bed while his hind feet are still on the ground. We gotta do something about his claws though. I haven’t gone out to see if the truck starts yet. Will wait till it’s closer to when we go to church.

Workin on the truck

This one is easy to see, or is it?


9/22/07 Saturday
I’m working on the truck, trying to figure out the electrical problem. I don’t have a clue what I am doing. Might have found a problem but might not. Using the ohmmeter everything on the truck seems to be shorted but that has me confused. It’s hard for me considering I was trained as a crew chief on B-52’s responsible for the whole aircraft including some complex electrical, and then I was chief engineer at a radio station. Granted I wasn’t qualified but I could still do a lot. Now I am unsure of everything as it doesn’t seem to line up with how I think it should. Went online and looked automotive electrical and couldn’t follow everything there written for those who weren’t familiar with the subject. Right now I am tearing the dash off to correct the mistake I made while putting in the CB radio and electric brakes. I drilled a hole through the firewall to run the wires from the engine compartment. I didn’t use a rubber grommet to protect the wires from the sharp edges and they cut through some insulation. But there still seems to be problems. I was hoping to work on the tiller so I could use it to “Mow” the lawn as it’s the best way to deal with the weeds that are our lawn right now. Will work on the truck till it gets fixed, hopefully. It’s already getting hot out.
The type of cactus we dug up on the way home from New Mexico
-------------------------------------
I’ve spent five hours working on this. Probably an hour or two of that getting the wires threaded through the firewall hole. Filed down the rough edges as best I could and then looked for something I could wrap the wires with to prevent them from getting cut again. Electrical tape didn’t work. It’s a 3/8 inch hole and four wires are snug in it. I found an old pen that was a tight fit in the hole so I cut it off and drilled out the inside as much as I could. Then I worked to get the four wires through it. Sprayed the wires with silicone but the spray’s solvent started to dissolve the plastic pen. That glued the wires in. I finally had to cut the pen tube length wise with my razor knife and open it up to remove the wires. Tried to drill the firewall hole bigger but couldn’t get the drill in there. Don’t have a clue how I drilled it before. Finally got it all done. Just came in, took a pain pill cause this has killed my back. Will lay down till it relaxes. Then I’ll go see if I can hook the wires all up. Wrote down some of where they go because I know I won’t remember.

Hey Janie, if you read this give us a call. Hope you are doing OK.
------------------------------
Well, I may or may not have fixed the truck. The alternator is charging now and the strobe light on the back is now working. However the readings of the ohm meter have me confused. They seem to indicate a short still exists and when I hooked up the positive side of the battery it sparked indicating something somewhere was pulling juice. I ran the truck down the road to charge up the battery. We will know more tomorrow. Hope everything is OK. This was an all day affair. Started on it early this morning and just got done at 8:00. One thing for sure is that I did fix something. It was all from the work I did on the truck in Toledo while preparing it for the journey to Texas. I put in the trailer electric brake controls, a CB radio, and installed the wiring for the trailer lights. That was just as confusing for me as working on it today was but I got it done. Just didn’t protect the wires where they went through the firewall. That’s all it takes, just one little oversight. Maybe I will finally get to the tiller tomorrow. We’ll see. It’s Sunday so we may have a chance to fellowship with folks after church. Won’t pass that up. I think I’ll look over the Sunday school lesson and call it a night

A near miss

This is a picture Sandy was asking about. As far as I can tell there are no hidden images though the arrow the fox is looking at is hard to notice. I find it appropriate for this post considering it looks like we dodged a bullet ourselves.


9/21/07 Friday
It was good to sleep in our bed last night though we were a bit restless. I had planned on putting the sealer on the front porch but predictably decided to go to bed instead. I was up at six and made coffee while I let Cherie sleep. She got up a half hour later because Carman kitty wasn’t as nice about letting her sleep in. After breakfast I put the sealer down and Cherie took care of her morning stuff. We both hurried so we could get the puppies. Missed em just like you would your children. Well they are our kids, ok?

Oh they missed us as much as we missed them. At the kennel I sat on the ground when the lady brought them in. It’s puppy attack time!!!! Lick, Lick, wriggle, climb on my shoulders, and lick some more. Got my face washed good. Done with me they went after Cherie next. Outside they jumped in the car in a flash. No coaxing needed here. Cherie had to work to keep them in the back seat on the drive home. Once here they have settled down a bit but still beg for attention. The kennel lady said they stayed in their cage the first day but after that came out and played with the other dogs. That’s good cause they need to get used to other dogs and people.

So back home I checked the oil, knowing it would need some after the nine hundred and sixty four mile drive to Albuquerque and back. I started it up to check on the transmission fluid and hearing a tapping sound looked closer. Whoa !!! What’s this??? I’ll be damned. You can see the remnants of where a rat started to build a nest and the surprise find is that the rat had chewed all the way through one of the spark plug wires and started on another.

We made that whole trip on three out of four cylinders. It’s amazing we didn’t break down or blow the motor. Where the speed limit was eighty I would set cruise control at eighty five. It’s a testament to the durability of the motor I suppose. Someone was looking out for us. There is no telling how long this has been in that condition. We are heading out to buy new wires and pick up Cherie’s prescription now so I’ll be back later.
--------------------------------
That was a fifty dollar rat. Gone are the days you could replace spark plug wires one at a time or even make up your own set. Now the auto makers are custom designing everything so you have to spend the big bucks for your parts.

When I went to start the truck the battery was once again dead. The intermittent short has returned. I jumped it from Cherie’s car and we went to Midland. First stop was Walfart for Cherie’s prescription and some oil. The truck was again dead but fortunately the lady across the space from us was just returning to her car and she agreed to give us a jump. From there we drove to Auto Zone for the plug wires. Cherie sat in the truck with it running while I went in. I wasn’t turning that truck off till we got home.

I just got done replacing the wires. Cherie is cooking something to eat. I heard her exclaim “There’s a bump” and went in to se what was up. Water has gotten under the sink of our new countertops and bubbled it up. The sink was never caulked. I think I was supposed to do that but like everything else it slipped my mind. Fact is it should have been done before the sink was installed and all the plumbing hooked up. I’ll have to unhook it to raise it up and put caulk underneath. I don’t have any of the good silicone stuff right now and the fifty dollar plug wires drained our account so we’ll have to wait for my check at the first of the month. I told Cherie to be real careful till then. The damage has already been done but there is no sense making it worse. We will run to the VA hospital at Big Spring and get the forty dollars I have coming for mileage to Albuquerque. That will come in handy.
--------------------------------
Got the travel mileage money and we made sure to deposit it to cover the cost of the spark plug wires. I noticed the air conditioner wasn’t cooling so I went to check on it. The water wasn’t feeding so I got my wrench and loosened it up. Chunks of what looked like thin green paper came out. Not good. This is the same stuff that had plugged up the sprinkler head on the hand unit I watered with. Called Leroy about it and he said it was probably algae and to put a half gallon of bleach down the well.

I planted the cactus we dug up on the way home. It’ll be interesting to see if it makes it. It’s depressing to see how far and fast the weeds are growing. If I had a lawnmower I could at least keep them at bay till I get the tiller running. That’s if I can get it running. The depression I fight all the time is trying to come back again. It’s hard to always be upbeat.

Heading back

Here's another "Whats there?" picture. By the way Sandy, there are two indians riding their horses through the woods in front of the fox in the last one


9/20/07 Thursday
Had a great end to yesterday. We went back to Old Town but most of the shops close at five. It didn’t take us long to get bored with what was open as they all carried the same kind of tourist stuff. New Mexico T shirts and Indian jewelry. When Cherie picked up a pottery piece and saw it was made in China we were done. There were still a few art studios open but we just don’t have the money for that. So it was time to find a place to eat. Everything around there featured Mexican food. We walked around admiring the way this place is put together and the extensive use of stucco with the Pueblo feel. as we did so I looked at Cherie and said “You don’t want to eat Mexican do you? Cause I really don’t”. She didn’t.

I noticed a little hole in the wall place that had menus posted on the wall outside the door. It had an open sign so I moseyed over to check it out. Surprise surprise (said with the Gomer Pile voice) It is a French restaurant. Cool. We went in and it was a small cosey kind of place that didn’t look expensive or exclusive at all. After being asked if we had reservations and seeing the four page wine list I figured that out. It wasn’t cheap but boy was it good. I had to have the waiter interpret the French menu and we settled on fillet mignon for Cherie and I had scallops. We had to have a glass of wine so, not being this incredibly cultured dude with a vast knowledge of wine, I told the waiter to bring out whatever he thought appropriate. It was all just a wonderful to end the day so a hundred dollars later we went back to the hotel room. That pretty much blew the budget but you know my motto, “Love life, live a life you can love”.

So we are going to grab breakfast, pick up a small shovel at Walfart, and hit the road.
------------------------------
8:33 – We’re home. I’m tired. Will tell about it later.

We're here

9/19/07 Wednesday
It was a long drive but we enjoy going down through Pecos as the scenery is great. I don’t have lots of time to write at the moment. We’re in the hotel room at Albuquerque and fixing to head out to grab some breakfast. Here’s some pictures we took on the way. There were lots of others I wanted to take but didn’t feel like stopping. Had to turn around and go back to get the one of the hotel.

I got some seeds off the cactus/Yucca type of plant cause they would look great at the farm. There is another type of cactus we like so will pick up a shovel here and dig a couple up on the way home.

By the way, I didn't get any comments regarding what is hidden in the painting I posted so I presume most of you couldn't fine it. Believe it or not there are two indians riding there horses through the woods right in front.
-------------------------------
We just got back from the hospital. There was the usual routine of prodding and poking to see what worked and how well. The doctor was a young guy as were the ones I saw the last time. I think this is part of the training they all go through. He asked the regular questions about headaches, seizures, and the other issues related to traumatic brain injuries. Tested my strength and coordination as well as how well I could sense motion and touch on various surfaces of my skin. When we first started I was running slow, about a five on the bob scale. I explained this to him and also let him know this is mostly due to the stress of unfamiliar circumstances and that I would clear up as I relaxed and became comfortable with where I was. After he went through the examination he left after telling me another intern would be in for more poking. When there was a knock on the door it was him again. “I forgot to ask you a few questions” he said and proceeded to ask if I knew what day it was, what month, what year. When he asked who was president I said “An idiot”. He counted that as a correct answer I suppose.

After confirming I was cognizant enough to know where I was he left again. When he came back it was with an older guy. I knew he wasn’t an intern because he wore some older, comfortable, not fancy clothes, the kind you wear when you don’t have to worry about impressing someone. Yep, he was a head honcho type. His first name was Peter I think. I had Cherie write down his last name so I could remember it but I won’t reveal it here because I didn’t get permission. I like the guy. The first words out of his mouth were “I’m going to be blunt”. That’s the way I like things anyway, no beating around the bush or sugar coating. With a puzzled look he asked “Just what is it you expect us to do for you?”. After thinking for a few, trying to figure out why he asked I said “I know you don’t have a magic wand you can wave and just fix me so I’ll tell you my goals and you let me know if you can help”. I told him of the dream of getting the farm going and getting off disability. We talked then, talked about realities such as some of my problems won’t go away, there are things I can’t and will no longer be able to do, but there are things I can do. I helped him understand that I have a good handle on and have accepted my disabilities but that I am a fighter and will push on after my goals. Peter also had heard of how Cherie and I had gotten back together after seventeen years. “Brain damage tore us apart and brain damage brought us back together” I said. I think that part of what spurred Peters opening question was the thought I was after drugs, or at least some miracle pill that would make everything better. Once he saw that wasn’t’ the case he relaxed and we just enjoyed talking about things such as blogging and learning to not be in a rush with life. I explained that my request to be seen at the Albuquerque neurological department in the first place is just to have access to specialists in case I need them. Anyway we will come back in a year. I’m doing well.

We went to Old Town here in Albuquerque this morning. Quite a place. Fact is we pretty much love this city. There is a feel, a spirit here that is enamoring. The architecture is pleasing to look at and follows the southwest theme well with lots of stucco and arches. At Old Town (The tourist area of shops and art for those of you unfamiliar) we only went into one shop. It featured the artwork of Kathy Morrow. WOW. She just got added to my list of favorite artists. Right on par with Beverly Doolittle. She has a website which you can find by just typing in her name. Some of her pieces are in the thirty thousand dollar range but there are some factors I won’t divulge right now that will make those prices go way up. There were a lot of her works that were much lower in price but still out of our reach. If I had the money I would buy some strictly as an investment. But I wouldn’t want to sell them cause they look so good.

We are going to go back there and catch some more of the shops and attractions there. Lots of native American stuff. There is a big American Indian presence and influence in this city. It’s nice that we can relax and enjoy things here. Not broke and not in a hurry to get home cause we have the hotel room for another night. See ya later.