Sunday, May 25, 2008
Depressed and angry
I’ve spent the last two days being depressed and angry. It doesn’t have anything to do with the dinner at KD’s but that didn’t help. I won’t talk about what made me angry but the depression was severe. “Why am I busting my butt working on this garden?” I was asking myself. I just gave up. I figured I would watch it shrivel up and blow away in this West Texas wind. I’ll just live on my disability check and simply exist from day to day. Watch TV and do nothing. So I stayed in bed or just sat in a chair staring off into space. Nothing on TV was interesting, but there is little to see on the three stations we get anyway. I hope I broke out of it today. Cherie and I had a talk that should help. This is hard on her. I missed four hours of cooler weather this morning. Now that it is hot and miserable I must go out and save what I can. I work on that garden from eight or nine in the morning to sometimes eleven at night. Now I do take a one or two hour nap and often must get out of the heat during the day but it’s still a long day. And despite that I don’t seem to be keeping up. This is hard stuff to do, at least for me it is.