Monday, April 30, 2012

dumbest smart person

4/30/12 Monday So much to do, so much to write about, but so little time. We spent 4 days at the Lynaugh prison Kairos event and it was both wonderful and troubling. I must think carefully regarding what I write about. I decided to not return to work in Odessa, and choose instead to work on the farm that has languished while I helped someone else make a lot of money. It will be hard work as the tiller no longer works well so I must do by hand what was once done with machine. As I write I am contemplating discing up the areas that are overrun with weeds, using my tractor. If I do this I destroy all the drip irrigation tape that was so carefully laid in the ground before. It may actually be easier and quicker to do this and reinstall new drip tape. I have a new roll of tape purchased last year, but we are out of the fittings to put them together and have tight funds so buying new fittings is a challenge. How frustrating this is, to be unable to grasp what we need to succeed, to have it just out of arms reach. During the Kairos event there were unfortunate times where my memory loss problems were openly displayed. I try to hide these events of memory loss but also let others know it exists with the hope of understanding. Understanding seems to not be easily grasped by some. Here on the farm I was elated to find garlic springing up in January but then forgot it existed and never watered it. Happened to remember this while at Kairos so went out to look this morning. It is all dead and gone now. It is frustrating to be highly intelligent yet unable to remember and follow through on so many things. I am the smartest dumb person or dumbest smart person you will ever meet. God has made me where I need others to help, but everyone is busy. It will be hot and humid, humid being a rare thing here, so I want to work outside before it gets too nasty. There is plenty to do inside as we had three dogs locked in for four days while we were at the Kairos event, so I will do that later when it gets hot. .

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