The ice has grown

1/14/07 Sunday
As you can see the ice has grown. Kinda like plants when you water them only quicker and nastier. I decided we won’t go to church today after walking out to the road. Sure we can make it and I have twenty five years experience driving on this kind of stuff but it’s not worth the risk. Instead we will stay home and stay as warm as we can. It’ll be a good time to work on the business plan and perhaps do the carpet in the hall. I am running an average 7 on the bob scale. Love it and hope it stays.

I went out to see how Skittles is doing. He has figured out that the “penthouse” is indeed a good place to stay. Got him some food and checked his water. Then we went for a walk as I do every morning to check out things on this farm. I call this my “walkabout”, a term I heard on Crocodile Dundee that I like. Took the camera with me to record this event. Skittles went with me as he loves to do. I could tell he needed to “relieve” himself so grabbed the rake I recovered and repaired out of the henhouse and broke through the ice so he could dig his latrine. He watched, sniffed, and went somewhere else to crap where he saw fit. Typical cat.

After taking some pictures as Skittles scampered around as he does I sat in the chair on the veranda to give him the pets he craves. Of course he ate it up. With this cold weather he doesn’t see us much cause we stay inside so he is lonely. I know he’s just an animal and some say animals can’t feel these emotions, only humans can. “It’s a God given gift” I’ve heard said. “What sets us apart from the animals” Whatever. Skittles is lonely and craves companionship. That I can relate to and so can Cherie.

So what to do with this day? Relax sounds good but I’m not good at doing nothing despite I do that so often. Can’t help it. There are times it is better I don’t do things when I have a bad slow down and then there is often a period of exhaustion after. Of course the migraines don’t help either. Drives me nuts cause I used to put in eighty hours a week running my companies. It wasn’t the brightest thing to do and took a toll on my second marriage and the kids I raised. But now there is so much that needs to be done.

I am sitting up on the bed writing this and it is aggravating the back pain so I need to lay back down and type with this laptop on my raised knees. Emptied the pans of water under the sink as we must every morning. I have a headache coming on now. It’s 10:27.

Cherie reluctantly gave up the PC card so I can go online and publish this post on the blog. I am getting more visitors from disability sites to the blog now. It makes me feel like I am doing some good sharing my life though my problems pale in comparison to most others who are disabled.

I posted a comment in response to an article on one of the blogs focusing on the needs and lives of those who are disabled. The article talked of the open and sometimes veiled attitudes of others towards those who are not as fortunate as they are. I talked about how suspicious some are when your issues are not as obvious as others. How some suspect you of playing the system for money or playing them for sympathy. There is a quiet judgmentalism that often increases as they discuss and gossip about you. As with all things this judgment evolves and human nature is to suspect the worst instead of believing the best of others. There is a bible verse that says “to the pure, all things are pure” and that implies that to the “impure” all things are tainted. There is a truth I have learned, that is that we tend to impute our weaknesses to others. A liar doesn’t trust others, fearing they are lying to him. A thief will suspect others want to steal from him. It goes on and on with every type of vice.

Enough of Bob philosophy (or whatever you call it) Time to post this and get to researching for the business plan. What do you see when you look at this picture? I see fruit trees, I see rasberry vines, I see rows of healthy organically grown vegetables, I see greenhouses where they can be grown even in this weather. I see the future that we can create through hard work and careful planning.

Winter is here.

1/13/07 Saturday
It’s cold but not too bad, at least not yet. Tomorrow is when things start getting ugly. The temp was 48 degrees in the kitchen when Cherie went in to make coffee. We know cause the space heater we have on a long extension cord so we can take it from room to room has a thermometer on it. It’s thirty one degrees outside and will only get up to thirty four today. Tonight they say it will go down to eighteen degrees. That’s when we have to worry about the pipes freezing in the house. I don’t think they will cause all the faucets leak providing that small flow of water that can prevent freezing. Speaking of that, I need to go empty the containers under the sink that catch the leaking water.

Got that done. We empty them every night and then again in the morning. The smaller pan overflowed this morning. It only holds about a gallon of water so I will put another of the large stainless steel units under that part.

So what will we do today??? I will work on getting the scraps of carpet seamed together in the hallway. Last night I was researching for the farm. I mentioned in an earlier post the possibility of planting date and olive trees so I Googled that and found some great information. Yes we have the ideal climate for both of those. California is the current king with both of those crops raising pretty much all the olives commercially grown in the states.

Dates are even more fascinating. Lots of varieties as with olives. In looking at them I found other palms that have edible fruits and some with medicinal qualities. I am leaning more to addressing the growing health conscious market. There is big money in us baby boomers who are getting older and more conscious of our mortality. It is just plain good business sense to find a need and meet it. I may have brain damage but that doesn’t mean I’m stupid, though some seem to presume that. A farm is a business and business is about making money. So we are looking at producing an eclectic variety of products for the U-Pick concept that will make this a fascinating place for the public to visit with something for everyone. I’m talking apples, pears, peaches, raspberries, blueberries, blackberries, pecans, grapes, herbs, spices, dates, olives, anything else that strikes our fancy, and also a greenhouse/nursery operation. It is a vision of a place for family outings, a place to take your kids to where you can pick these delightful fruits and enjoy the time together. In my minds eye I see a large open structure with a parking lot where you can get pies, jams, jellies, canned veggies, and other delights made from the produce we grow. Our experience up north with these types of operations involved festivals focusing on whatever product was coming due. Usually up there it was apples and strawberries and the farms mostly focused on one product.

How much of this will actually happen only time will tell. I still don’t want to accept that my abilities may be diminished from this brain injury and perhaps am not in tune with reality but damn it, I’ll push on anyway. Regardless I will take care so we won’t jeopardize losing this farm. No big loans we can’t repay. That’s where learning how to access the government and private foundation grants comes in. All of this will necessitate a decent size work force which will mostly be seasonal. With my former marketing company I had 122 employees one year (the best year) but not all at the same time. It was a high turnover situation with us having to hire for projects as we got contracts that were often short term. Many of my employees liked working for me so much they would quit another job to come back for a project. Not always the smartest thing to do but flattering non the less. Even when I came back from the coma and was still pretty lost they would ask when I would start my company up again so they could come to work.

I went out to feed Skittles. He is cold to say the least. Wanted to come in the house in the worst way. Cherie and I both wish we could let him but not until we can afford to take him to a vet and get him checked up and fixed. I turned up the heating pad and made him go into the den I made where it is to get his pets. His water froze so I got some more from the house.

It’s 10:38 – I have the dizzy ringing ears thing that often precedes a petite seizure so remembered I didn’t take my medicine. It’s getting harder to put these words together but that won’t stop me. I know what I want to say, it’ll just take longer to say it. That’s the power of writing for me. I discovered it in St. Louis on the rare times Larry let me use his computer. While I have a hard time keeping a train of thought, especially back then, with writing I can always go back and read, thus taking up where I left off. One of the things I had been thinking of, as I discussed what I’d like to do with this farm, is Mark Sherry. Mark is a professor who was given a chair of disabilities studies at the University of Toledo. He was an attorney in Australia exposing corruption when he was run down in an assassination attempt. This resulted in a coma and a traumatic brain injury. He experiences thirty to fifty petite seizures every day and has a dog trained to detect them with him at all times. Despite that he is a teaching professor who heads up a whole section of a college. He just needs assistance to accomplish these things. I draw inspiration from this as I dream of building a future here. Like him I can’t do it by myself but with my wife by my side and the help of others I can do what some might view as impossible for someone like me.

That took an effort. The headache is on the rise so I’ll take some aspirin. Might need to nap but will resist that as long as I can still get something done. Cherie is working on taxes right now. I’m going back to researching for the farm and must organize what I already have found. Organizing is a key cause there is stuff all over this computer and in notebooks that I forget I have, thus doing the same thing over and over again.

WOW!!! Cherie was going through her old bankruptcy stuff and found this old poem she had written around January 1999, a short time before she left Phoenix. This was an emotional time as she had filed bankruptcy, lost her car and everything, was deeply hurt by the church she attended, and everything looked black, a real dark time in her life. It is a poem about me. I was still in her thoughts despite our divorce fifteen years prior.

I’ve been playin’ with this pain
for way to long
and findin’ out I’m really not that strong.
To fight the lonely darkness
Of this place
What I wouldn’t give
To see your handsome face
When the mountains look like walls
It’s time to go back home
To the cities and the prairies
That I know
And if I could find a way
To find the love I threw away
I wouldn’t have to be this
Rolling stone

I had walked into the office to get a kiss and saying “Look what I found” she handed me a small piece of paper with this on it. When I read it I just started crying. She was too. We hugged and kissed and were again amazed at the full circle life had gone. We are blessed.

Cherie just called home and talked to mom. They are doing ok but were of course concerned about us with this cold snap we are in the midst of. The ice is building up slowly but steadily. There is a light mist coming down that is like a fog and sticks on whatever it touches. Hope the power lines hold up cause if we lose power it will get rough.

I'm not sure if Skittles is in the warm place we set up for him. He stayed in it all afternoon but wasn't this evening. Cherie saw him heading around the front of the house after I fed him and put some water in the box we set up. Think I'll go look despite it being pretty damn cold. If he's not I'll see if I can coax him out from where ever he is by calling his name. If he don't come that's too bad. Won't go looking for him. Time to post and crawl under the covers now. Here's some more pictures of the ice as well as Skittles penthouse.

Gonna get cold

1/12/07 Friday
Cherie was inspired to finally start writing her memoirs. I’ve been encouraging her to do this for quite some time. She stayed on her computer till 3:00 this morning and came to bed on principle, not cause she was tired. This morning I got up, fixed coffee, and tried to be quiet so she could sleep. Carman woke her up anyway cause he wanted his breakfast and morning treat. We are all creatures of habit, even the creatures. I fixed breakfast for us. Cherie was apologizing over and over last night for staying up and writing. There was nothing I could say that would keep her from feeling guilt. This is an ingrained part of her personality, where it seems that every time she is doing something she wants she invariably feels there must be something wrong. When she got up this morning it was the same thing. “Cherie, I’ve been trying to get you to write for three years now. You just told me that you had prayed to God that when you came to Texas you would like to write and start up your sewing business. What’s wrong? Why can’t you just be comfortable?” I said. She agrees it’s OK but I know it will come back again. I’ve often joked that she has the worlds fastest “I’m sorry”. It is the result of a lifetime of having every detail of her life criticized and not being good enough. We are all formed in our early years, with our thinking molded by the events that surrounded us. It is hard to break that mold.
Here's some pictures Cherie took of our quail yesterday. Yeah I know she's not the best aim with a camera but there they are.


I enlarged these two out of the gang. Fat little suckers aren't they. They are good eating and I suppose if I had to I could throw a rock and kill one but that might take a year or two the way I throw. Besides that we'll never starve cause we're in America and the church folks would help us out if we really needed it. I don't intend to really need it. We do OK by being frugal and not wasting anything.

This will be the last warm day for a while. I warmed the pot of water like we always do to wash up and did my standing up wash cloth bath. As usual I poured alcohol on the wash cloth to make sure everything was sanitized. I used to shower every day but now only do this twice a week or so. Whenever I would get into something nasty like cleaning out the rat nests with thirty years of feces built up I’d clean up but other than that I stretch it out. It is not at all fun to stand naked, washing down with a wet cloth when the room is only forty degrees or so. With an electric bill we can’t afford to pay we are using the space heaters at a minimal level now. Can’t wait till spring cause that will make the electric bill much less. Cherie just checked our bank account and we have $57.00 to last us till the end of the month. That’s nineteen days away.

We will have to let our Direct Buy loan lapse. That’s a shame. It was a great idea when we thought there would be cash enough to fix and equip the house. Being able to purchase everything from windows to appliances for the same price the retail giants pay would have saved us thousands. I am going to see if we can sell the contract to get out from under it. It’s amazing how quick things can change. The maneuvering of those who wanted to purchase this farm and my brother who wanted to cash it out bit us in the ass hard. Now we have land worth eighty grand and can’t pay the electric. This land can be a source of tremendous (by our standards) income but it will take time and money to achieve. You wait and see, we’ll get there. No quitters here though we can get depressed a little.

4:14 – Kinda slow right now. I forgot I had written anything today and was surprised to find this. Been out getting ready for the cold weather. The temperature is dropping now. The wind is blowing out of the north east. I drained the garden hose and put plastic over the winter wheat we finally got to grow. I put an extra blanket in the den we made for Skittles and turned on the heating pad we put in there. He doesn’t seem to go in there but who can tell. When I go out in the morning he is already out of the garage. Yeah, I’m pretty slow now. Running a four on the bob scale. Wasn’t bad most of the day.

I spent hours on Cherie’s computer trying to figure out what was wrong with it. It wouldn’t go to Yahoo so she could check her mail. I tried to download some anti spyware such as AVG and Ad Aware with no luck. Actually I finally got Ad Aware to load but it wouldn’t update it’s definitions. Couldn’t even get it to load the new Explorer 7 from Microsoft. Ran Ad Aware just now and it found 77 items 54 of which it labeled critical. I’ll see if that helps tomorrow. Not up to messing with it now. Fact I’ll just post this and call it a night unless I get sharp with a burst of energy.

It'll be a good day, cause I said so.

Here's our back yard this morning. Glad I don't have to mow this 80 acre lawn. Imagine it filled with fruit trees of every type. I'm contemplating olive and date palms as they do well in a hot dry climate. Who knows what'll happen but it's good to dream.

1/11/07 Thursday
Good morning world. It will be a better day than yesterday because I said it will. That has lots to do with how a day goes, that being choosing to make it so. Being determined to not allow things to get in the way. Now that all sounds good but doesn’t always hold up in the face of reality. I lost pretty much a whole day yesterday. Woke up with a seizure and stayed slow for most of the rest of the day. Mercifully I was better when we went to the church lunch. I had one of those turn off every source of sound and pull the blankets over my head to cut off the light migraines that didn’t quit until about 4:30. Needless to say nothing got done. I did try to work on the computer several times but wasn’t able to mentally process how to operate the software so had to quit. Last night was the final straw. Despite being much better I was still unable to make it work, in fact something I did froze up this laptop. With that I quit and went to bed. I woke up at 2:13 this morning and couldn’t get back to sleep. Just laid there slumbering and thinking about things like the farm and what people think of me, and if I said something that was offensive or inappropriate.

This morning I am doing well, running a seven on the bob scale. That’s average for you new readers. I always call it the “bob scale” cause that way I can do a search on that phrase and have a record of my daily conditions. I suppose I could create a graph or chart based on that. Been recording that observation for four years now.

Anyway I’m doing fairly well this morning so want to get as much done as I can cause you never know when it’ll change. We got our electric bill yesterday. It was $95.00 for the house yet only $3.00 for the well. I guess they had mad some kind of mistake and put a correction on the bill. Works for me. We won’t be able to pay it till I get my check on the first of the month. I told Cherie that we need to see if they can change the billing date so that’s when it comes due cause that’s when the money is there to pay. There’s some cold weather coming that won’t help. It’s supposed to hit Saturday and will drop into the teens every night for a week or five days with highs just above freezing. We’ll spend a lot of time in the bedroom as that’s where our main space heater is and the warmest room in the house. We will be wearing coats indoors during that cold spell.

Heard coyotes wailing last night so was worried about Skittles. He wasn’t out at the door this morning as he usually is but I woke him up when I opened the garage door. Guess he had a long night. “What’d you do, party all night?” I asked him as he stretched awake. Yeah I talk to my cat. Other than Cherie it’s the most intelligent conversation I usually have in a day. Course Cherie talks to the cats more than I do. I’ll hear her say something in the other room and reply cause I thought she was talking to me. “No, I’m not hungry” I’ll say only to find out she had asked Carman kitty.

That’s all the rambling you get this morning. Check back in as the day goes by cause you never know when I’ll be adding something.

Well we just got some bad news. The secretary at the church just called to say that the committee met last night and decided to close the custodian job position. That is depressing and a real blow. Just a little income would make all the difference to us. Cherie had looked forward to working there and I had looked forward to helping out on my good days. I always wonder if I did something to cause things like this.

Started out with a slowdown.

1/10/07 Wednesday
Cherie woke up at 6:30 as we used to do. After some coaxing she got up and made coffee. Turned on the news as I always do to see what part of the world is till falling apart. I was strangely tired and uncharacteristically handed the remote to Cherie and pulling the blankets over my head went back to sleep. Slept for almost three hours. When I finally dragged myself out of bed it didn’t take long to see I was in the middle of a slow down. Still there now at 10:46. Got a serious headache also. Makes me wonder if you can have one of these petite seizures while you sleep. Was sharp last night and went to bed early yet woke exhausted.

It will be a beautiful day out. In fact it already is. Just have thin wisp’s of those high clouds (I think their called sirus but not sure. Used to know) and lots of sunlight. I have to shave today as we plan on going to the church dinner tonight. It’s good to be around friendly people but it’s also good to enjoy a great meal when food is tight. They ask for a dollar contribution but I’ve been told not to worry about it for us, it’ll be covered. It’s good to find Christians who act like Christians. We didn’t find much of that in Toledo, at least not with the church hierarchy, but there were individuals who shined in the midst of that darkness. I suppose that’s the way it is and always has been. Reminds me of the Pharisees in the bible and for that matter all through recorded history. When there comes money and power there comes this blind hypocrisy where folks get all wrapped up in how good and religious they are yet neglect those less fortunate.

I may refuse to use the label of “Christian” but I know more of this religion than most who profess that moniker. I’ve done a bible study that goes in depth on the subject of the poor and downtrodden. There are over 830 references in both the old and new testaments to that subject, more than any other area the bible talks of. It is the key focus of God. I think I will finalize this study and publish it. The neglect, abuse, and taking advantage of those less fortunate was listed as a big factor in most of the “Judgments” where God came down and trashed cities and the nation of Israel. I was fascinated to see on the news a report that insurance companies charge the poorer parts of our society significantly more than others. The reporter was interviewing an expert on a street where if you lived on one side, where the per capita income was low, you got cranked on insurance where the other, richer, side paid significantly less. That has nothing to do with the church, just is an example of how society is. To quote the favorite saying of a former boss of mine “The more things change, the more they stay the same”.

By the way I have cleared up some while I was writing. That’s the way it is. Throws people off when this happens. Still have the headache and am not terribly motivated. Think I’ll post this and perhaps lay down. These things drain my energy.

I just noticed that I didn't have a link to the blog I created to put the story of Cherie and I down for y'all to read.Here it is Created it September last year and just now figured that out. The links there now so go read the story. It'll be a book some day along with the rest of my wild and unusual life. That'll be another book in itself.
Here's a picture from our first marriage in 1979.

The Ugly, the Bad, and the Good.

1/9/07 Tuesday
Today ran the full gamut. Remember the movie “The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly”? To put it in proper order for today it would be The Ugly, The Bad, and The Good. This morning I asked Cherie how our money was. She said it wasn’t good at all. I asked what she spent on cat litter and when she told me I got upset. Of course this got her upset but I can’t see spending that kind of money on something the cat will poop and pee in just because it clumps and doesn’t smell as bad. Of course that means she won’t have to clean it as often. It ended with Cherie crying and saying she doesn’t like this being poor stuff. We took the cat litter back along with the flea powder she got for Skittles. That all added up to $25 bucks which is a lot right now. I’d rather eat than have the cat poop in better poop stuff. Regardless Cherie was not very happy. In fact I found out that earlier, when this all started she had “Folded” our little hand calculator. That’s a nice way of saying she broke it in half. It only cost a buck at the dollar store so wasn’t a big deal. I didn’t learn of this till we got to the “Good” part of the day and we laughed pretty hard about it.

So that was the Ugly part. Next came the Bad part of the day. Our leak under the sink had escalated to the point it was filling this large pan and the two other ones up fairly quickly. Now I knew we would have to replace this whole set up, from the faucet to the sink and even the plumbing underneath. I had already talked about it to Cherie and mentioned that I would have to turn the water off at the well because the plumbing was so rotten it could well break. Of course I didn’t remember that. So what could I do to stop this leak? Perhaps I can turn off one of the cut off valves underneath. I’d do it one at time in case it was just either the hot or cold water side that was leaking.

“Great Idea Bob” I thought as I reached for one of the valves. Cherie heard a loud “Sh-t, F---, F---, damn” (pardon the language, I can be colorful) and came running. Sure enough, right as I started turning the valve everything let loose. As you can see it was in bad shape anyway and a classic case of Southern Engineering as it was. “I’ve got to run to the well and turn this off” I yelled. Cherie said she would do her best to reduce the flooding as I rushed out the door.

As I screamed down the dirt road leading to the well I looked at the speedometer and saw I was going 40. Reminded me of the good ole days when I raced. I got to the well and struggled to close the valve. Barely had the strength to do it, in fact when I tried to turn it back on later I couldn’t and had to make a device to get it turned. At this time my adrenaline was flowing so it got closed.

Getting back to the house I pondered what to do. We didn’t have money to replace anything so I either had to figure it out or we would go without running water till the first when my check comes in. What to do? Here’s a thought. We don’t have hot water cause there’s no gas. The hot water tank has a cut off valve so if I’m lucky it was the hot water side I broke. I went to the hot water tank and shut the valve off there. Then I went back to the well and called Cherie on her cell phone. With her standing by at the sink I turned on the well valve. Actually I tried and couldn’t do it so had to come back and figure out how to make something that would give me leverage. I took apart the golf bag cart Larry had left here and devised something out of that. Then I went back out to the well and we repeated the calling her and having her report if the water started spewing when I turned it on. OH YEAH! I’m lucky. That was it. The sink still leaks from the cold water side but it’s not as bad.

Now comes the good part. Cherie and I laughed and laughed. She told me that when she heard a F---, F---, she knew it was a real bad one compared to hearing just one F---. “When I heard a double F--- I knew it was bad” she said. I guess you had to be there cause reading this now I can’t see the humor at all. Regardless the days tension was broken.

Actually I got out of sequence with this day. We had gone into town to pick up our mail and drop the letter I had helped Cherie write for the custodian job at the church. Pastor Dave was just walking out of the church as we were coming to the corner so we stopped and chatted a bit. Cherie asked if the job was still open and he said he thought so but didn’t know for sure. I gave David the letter to give to Darrell, my cousin who happens to be one of the ones responsible for this area, and invited him to read it also. Yeah this is an unabashed attempt to influence the decision to hire in Cherie’s direction. I really don’t know if this is correct behavior or not. That is part of social skills and social skills is an area that has been hit with the brain injury. Not just with this last wreck but evidently from childhood as evidenced in my whole life.

So we went to the post office and checked for mail. Didn’t even get junk mail today. We went to Midland and returned the cat litter and flea powder. Then we went to Home Depot where I picked up some Seam Tape to use to join pieces of the left over carpet scraps for the hallway. Told you we don’t waste anything. On the way back Cherie’s phone rang. It was the church asking if she would like to come in for an interview. Now that’s when the tension began to break. It was when we got home that I decided to flood the kitchen.

So that was the ugly, bad, and good of today. Cherie went to the church this evening to help prepare for the dinner thing they do on Wednesday. It is our Sunday school classes turn to do that. This was a chance for her to get out and interact with other women. Always a good thing and is another step on the way for her to be accepted and a part of this community. It’s not as hard for me to be solitary because I’ve been that way most of my life but it’s different for Cherie. She needs the strength friends can lend. It wouldn’t hurt me either, I just have to learn how.

Folks it’s been a long day. I think I’ll call it quits now. You can tell I am sharp because I’m waxing eloquent on the writing. Only had a couple of the petite seizures today and they were the quick short lived variety. I want to thank all the new visitors to this blog. Been quite a few of you from the “Homesteader Neophyte” blog site. Also to the guy who shows up as being from Dublin Ireland, leave a comment so I can say hi. Always like to get to know the regular readers. Still am amazed that others are interested in our lives. Mostly this blog was a way family and friends could keep in touch but it has grown. Tell your friends about this blog. We can make it fun and even get some discussions going.

Night all.

Not a bad morning

1/8/07 Monday
Not a bad morning. It got down into the twenties last night but will be a sunny cloudless day that will reach 66 or so. I was up till one this morning looking up farm stuff online and was surprised that I wasn’t tired this morning. In fact I seem to have a high energy level. My back pain is up there this morning so sitting in this chair is difficult. It helps to pull this laptop of the keyboard drawer and put it in my lap (a laptop on my lap, imagine that), that allows me to lean back in the chair. There are some days when I must lay in bed and put this computer on my raised knees to work on it.

Skittles was still with us this morning. He has an infected paw and I would suspect worms as he is skinny despite now being well fed. We would like to take him to a vet but there’s no money for that. Cherie has gone into Midland to do laundry and shop for groceries. She will get some flea powder and see if there is an over the counter worm medicine for him.

I plan on fixing the silverware drawer in the kitchen and installing the base board in the back room. I am sure there are other things I want to do but can’t remember them. Oh, here’s one. I want to write a letter to go with the stuff I’ll be turning into the state regarding my brother. Have to get that done by today as the Bureau of Motor Vehicles is only open on Tuesdays. I did draw up a sample letter for Cherie to use for her application at the church. I’m kinda pushing a little on that but it’s a perfect job and she should fight for it.

Time to post this and get moving. I fixed myself a big breakfast. Figured Cherie would appreciate it. Eggs, grits, and sausage gravy

4:34 – I had a good run. Put the baseboard in the backroom till I ran out of the nails I had pulled and hammered straight. I got one piece nailed into place in the hallway. Called Cherie in Midland and asked her to buy some nails as they don’t cost much. She can use the Home Depot gift card to pay for them. I still need to put in the half round strip that goes on the bottom of the backboard. Don’t know what it’s called. Anyway I was doing great till about fifteen minutes ago. Having a slow down right now. This is the first partial seizure for the day. Pretty bad one. Steadily going downhill. Managed to put finish on towel rack I made. Cherie just got home. Good time to quit.

I helped Cherie carry in the stuff she bought. Remembered I fixed the silverware drawer and told her. Saw that I forgot the threshold I went to do. Now at the point where I wander, starting out to do a task and it vanishes from this brain. Spell check keeps telling me I’m misspelling words. Love spell check. Need to do something with garbage. It’s smelling. They haven’t picked up dumpster yet but we cancelled so I won’t put anything in it. Will have to go to landfill tomorrow. Got to get aspirin now for headache.

That was mercifully a short one. Only lasted two hours. These things always tire me out, drain me like I’ve had a long day. This slow down had me down to where I was stuttering. Glad it’s gone now. The headache is still there though. Oh well.

Cherie fixed pork chops that she had marinated in a teriyaki sauce. She fried up some potatoes and put season salt and tarragon on them. All in all it was a great meal. Afterwards I decided it would be nice to make the French vanilla pudding that was in the cupboard. Glancing at the instructions I see “two cups” and “stir for two minutes” so I measured out two cups of water, mix, and put it in the freezer as Cherie does to hasten it’s setting up. As I waited in the bedroom for it to get done I mentioned to Cherie that I thought two cups of water was allot. She looked at me incredulously and, seeing I was serious, started cracking up. I always tell her “Read the instructions” because she sometimes tries to take shortcuts. Well, I get to eat those words. The instructions call for milk, not water. If I was still slow I’d have an excuse but not this time. Oh well, had to throw it out.



There’s nothing on TV except football and some stupid sitcoms so I came to the office to write this and then go online. Good night all.

Great end

1/7/07 Sunday
It looks like Skittles is gone. He wasn’t waiting at the door as he usually is and his food wasn’t touched. That’s the way it is out here. There have been signs of coyotes around here and the hawk is continually on the hunt so odds are Skittles was cat food. Adding to that equation is the bobcat Chuck said he had seen. The smell of cat pee could well have attracted it. I had explained to Cherie that this could well happen but she seems to be taking it well, in fact maybe a bit better than I. After church I walked through the field looking for any sign of him. Perhaps he’ll saunter in later but I doubt it. It’s a shame. We both liked Skittles but that is the way of things, natures circle of life.

Church was hard for me. This is the first time I’ve been there during a slow down. I started out the morning fine but had a headache going by the time we got to Sunday school. We got there early so I walked around a little, exploring I guess you’d say. When I went past the class who’s teacher had invited me to attend a few weeks ago I saw them making a fresh pot of coffee so stopped in and got a cup. We visited briefly, talking a little about Minnie Lee (my grandmother who’s farm we inherited). My cousin Darryl walked and greeted me warmly. I’m still unsure of myself regarding what family thinks of me.

I went back to Steve’s class where Cherie was waiting and sat down for the class to start. (I’m pretty slow as I write this so am struggling to make the sentences better) By now my headache is at mild migraine level and my ability to follow the teaching is hampered from the slow down. The lesson was based on the Genesis creation story and I have some serious misgivings about that so was going to keep my mouth shut anyway. After the class Steve asked me how my week had been. At times like these it is hard for me to formulate answers to questions so I said “I don’t know. Ask Cherie”. I hope he didn’t find it rude of me.

In church things had gotten worse. My back pain was getting high on top of the migraine and this time the petite seizure was effecting my balance and visual centers of the brain. I couldn’t close my eyes during prayer because I can fall over if I do and had to hold onto the pew in front of me. They always have a “go greet someone” period at the beginning of the service but I couldn’t deal with it so just stayed seated. I don’t know what folks thought as they came over and sticking out their hand would say “Hi, I’m so and so” and I unenthusiastically responded. The lady next to me asked “Are you OK?”. I lied and said I was. Not really an intentional lie just what came out. On the visual end my depth perception is strangely affected in that different colors appear to be different distances. It’s hard to describe but I’ll try. The girls in front of me had different colored jeans on and the lighter one looked like it was two feet closer than the legs of the girl next to her despite they were standing together. Our bathroom floor has a pattern of blue and light colored specks. The light specks look like they are pieces of gravel on top of the floor. This doesn’t happen often, in fact rarely, but is disconcerting.

Cherie could tell I had a bad headache just from looking at my face so I’m sure I looked unhappy to everyone else. Much of the time I just held my head in my hand, covering my eyes. Probably looked like I was “under conviction” to use church terminology for those whom the message was hitting home and were feeling bad about their lives or something. Nope, just miserable. Cherie asked if I wanted to leave but I told her “No”. I was there and would tough it out because I don’t want anyone thinking bad about me or gossiping as they conjectured about what was going on. Yeah I know, I’m being paranoid but probably always will be unsure of myself regarding how others perceive me.

I was glad to get home. Went into the bedroom and closed the curtain (fancy word for blanket) on the window because light hurts my eyes when migraines reach this level of intensity. Cherie and I are going for a walk now. I’ll have to wear my sunglasses. Of course part of our motivation is to look for Skittles.

It’s 7:00 now. I cleared up after the walk. We saw tracks that looked like they might have been bobcat’s. Gotta go online and see if they were. Not really feeling literate so I’ll just post this and watch mindless crap on the TV.

Well, right when I was writing that I heard Cherie call out “Skittles is back”. Imagine that. He has mud on him and I suspect he got stuck in some hole somewhere, probably chasing a rat or something. Anyway we are both relieved and it has brightened Cherie up tremendously. Great way to end the day. See ya tomorrow.

Cold it is

1/6/07 Saturday
Cold it is. Thirty two degrees is just barely freezing but put a twenty mile per hour wind with it and it chills the bones. I washed Carman kitty’s rug outside with the hose and it didn’t take long for my hands to grow numb. I think Carman’s peeing is probably a response to Skittles doing the same outside.

It will be an inside day for sure. I have a headache already this morning and took one of the Hydrocortisone despite my misgivings about them having Acetomenaphine (Tylenol) in them, which is proven to be bad for the liver. I am running about a 6 on the bob scale, just a little slow. When I get done with this journal entry I plan on getting the carpet stretched and nailed down. Need to put my knee brace on. I keep forgetting and once I’m up, dressed, and moving don’t feel like taking my pants back off to put it on. Today I will have to because I’ll be kneeling on the floor. Might keep the walking cane handy to help me get up. Will definitely wear the knee pads also.

The headache is getting worse and my cognizance level is dropping. Not a good sign. Have gone a few days without a slow down. I’ll have to go read the journal to see how many. It’ll be important to just pick a task and stay on it. otherwise I’ll get lost.

Here is something I’ve been meaning to write about since we received it before Christmas so I’d better do it now while I’m thinking about it.


Ron and Paula Charles are old friends from back in the days Cherie and I had first met. They are the kind of people you want to brag about just knowing, just having met in your life. Kinda like if you went to school with a movie star or something. He was in our first wedding. That's him on the left.




Here is the church we helped build

When I graduated from bible college we joined him as he founded a new church in Oregon, Ohio. Those were incredible days where we would go to the seedy sides of town and right into bars with drugs and prostitution openly doing business and tell them about Jesus. Of course we mostly did what you would consider normal church things but that stands out. Ron and I grew close and would spend hours talking about theology, life, and other things.

One of the great pains in Ron’s life was watching our marriage break apart. He strived hard to keep that from happening and knew it was the start of my life unraveling. I unraveled for the next seventeen years, ultimately leading to the car wreck and coma. As I strived to regain my memories I looked up one of the fragments I could recall. That was the church we had started in Oregon. There were only a few of the original members still attending and among them were Fran and Marsha Duschel. I met with Fran and as usual didn’t recognize him but he was able to help me greatly in recovering some memories. Just to keep you new readers up to date, this the time I was wandering, looking for whatever I could find that was familiar. I had already been reunited with Cherie after being featured on ABC news as Toledo’s John Doe. As I would find these fragments of my past they often were like keys unlocking the memories that had been trapped in my brain. Then these memories would sometimes return in a flood that was overwhelming, like watching a movie on fast forward.



Fran let Cherie and I know that Ron would be speaking at a church in Ohio. I can’t remember the church or what city it was in but I remember it was several hours away. For Ron and Paula to not only see me but to see me and Cherie reunited was a great joy. We spent the rest of the day with them but Ron had a busy schedule, traveling around the country.









Let me brag about my friend if you don’t mind. It’s Dr. Charles now. He has written several books. One of them is a scholarly tome entitled “In Search of the Historical Jesus”. He gave me a copy of it and it is incredible in it’s depth and in the research he did, traveling the world to visit dark corners of museums, digging up documents seldom heard of before. I deeply regret that my injury prevents me from being able to digest a book as everyday I would have to start over because I would forget what I read the day before. I can read and absorb a book but have to do it four or five times before it stays.

Ron is in a documentary that I think was produced by National Geographic regarding the search for the lost ark. He travels the world and often puts his life at risk to follow his hearts beliefs. When we received their Christmas letter it listed his accomplishments for last year. Just blew me away what one man did. Here’s what was written;
God opened these doors in 2006
Ministry accomplished in America
• Sponsorships of Pastor’s families & Needy Children in third world countries- over 200 sponsored.
• Conferences held in California, Louisiana, Kentucky, and Jamaica to promote ministry to Muslims.
• Missions meetings in: Ga, Fl, Ms, La, Tx, Ok, Oh, Ky, Ca, Mi, Il, In, and Al.
South America and Central America.
• Feeding center started in Honduras and ministry meetings.
• Pastors Conferences in Nicaragua with Brad Charles and Rev K.F. Charles.
Middle East and Egypt
• Began Feeding Program for Widows & Children.
• Bought 25,000 liters of fresh drinking water for Garbage Dump Christians.
(Here’s a little note from me about that. In Egypt, if a Muslim becomes a Christian he immediately loses everything and he and his family are taken to the garbage dump, which by the way is one of the largest in the world, and dumped off. The garbage dump is surrounded by armed towers to prevent their escape.)
• $6,000 given to Garbage City Christians for food, clothing, medicine, & school supplies.
• Bags of Hope given to numerous widows and children. (James 1:27)
European Meetings
• Germany, Belgium, Holland, Romania, & Moldova.
• Built roof for the Tipton’s – able to leave enough money to finish the project in Deva, Romania.
India meetings
• Ron ministered 57 times in 2 weeks to lost Muslims and Hindus. The Lord is good.

This is what Ron had on his letter along with his schedule for this year. That is equally daunting. In the midst of all that they did last year Paula fell from a horse in Egypt that almost took her life and Ron had hip replacement surgery.He will be in Texas August and September so may be able to visit us. We so look forward to that. When I read all of this it brings me a sense of shame that I have lost my faith. I am proud to have just known him much less to be able to call him a friend.

It is 11:00 now. Took me two hours to write this and mostly it was copying off of Ron’s letter. Still have a headache and not too speedy but you know me, I keep plugging along no matter what. Time to post this and put my knee brace on.

Still trying to post this. Got bumped offline twice now and the Picasa software, which best controls my pictures, is updating.

It's 12:00 now and I am just now getting finished. I am much sharper now, which I always appreciate. The sun is out and I suppose I better get to work.

It's a great day

1/5/07 Friday
It’s a decent morning and will get up to around seventy degrees today. Tomorrow a cold front comes in so I want to get as much outside stuff done as I can. I pulled the metal cabinet that Cherie wants for her sewing into the garage to paint it. I decided to use the HVLP sprayer I had bought for painting the trailer on it so there will be no brush marks. After running over the cabinet with my sander to prepare it for painting I went and grabbed the gallon of white paint. You have to thin the paint pretty good for it to work with the sprayer so I got out the acetone that I had used with the Rustoleum paint before.

I got the paint carefully thinned to what I believed was the right consistency an put it in the sprayer. Going over to the cabinet I began spraying. “Gee, this isn’t coming out right” I said to myself as I watched clumps of paint spit out onto the cabinet. I checked the hose to see if there was a leak and then opened up the sprayer. The paint looked like curdled milk. Not good. I took the paint can and read the directions. It’s a water based paint!! How can that be?

Now I hurried to clean the sprayer. I got a brush out and spread what was left onto the side of the garage. It didn’t go on pretty but I’m not about to waste it. Don’t waste nothing around here if I can help it. Cherie came out and I told her of the problem. As I explained I noticed for the first time that the gallon can of paint did not say Rustoleum. No it said Latex Primer and looking up I saw the can of Rustoleum sitting across the garage on my cabinets. NUTS.







All said and done I got the right paint thinned to the right consistency and sprayed on Cherie’s cabinet. It looks great now. Used my saw jig to cut a bottom for the cabinet and that worked like a dream. It’s good to get something right.






I got the mess in the henhouse mostly out to where I think I’ve come to the original bottom. There are some 1957 license plates that Rudy had nailed up on the walls that are like new. That’s the year Cherie was born. I’ll pull them off and figure out something to do with them. Had to wash my hair after the henhouse. At least I was finally smart enough to wear a dust mask.






Cherie and I did our walk to the well and back. We both agree we need to do more often to get in shape and lose fat. I timed it and it only takes us eleven minutes each way. They just had some expert on the news this morning that said thirty minutes of walking a day was a good thing to do. As we walked we discussed where we could put things like the fish pond that would be used to raise Tilapia, other fish, and for aquaponics. That is a form of hydroponics that uses the water from the pond that is enriched by the fish wastes to nourish the plants which in turn clean the water as it returns to the pond. This greenhouse operation will provide year round crop production.

This has been another day without a slowdown. These things seem to run in cycles. I do have a headache that just came up (it’s 4:34) It’s not a migraine but not being nice either. Cherie and I were both tired so I laid down for about an hour. Almost went to sleep but forced myself to get up and moving again. She has been cleaning and is working on making tacos for dinner. One of the things she brought up earlier was that she needed to get on the ball about working around the house. “I used to work a full time job that was physical but now I’ve been relaxing” she said. I think it has just been hard for her to motivate with the stress and depression she’s been fighting. We are both getting renewed with this vision of what we can make out of this farm.

Why worry?

1/4/07 Thursday
Not the best start for the morning. Cherie is waking up very slowly lately. It takes a while for her to drag herself out of the bed despite Carman kitty’s insistence. We had a conversation about the beans she was cooking in the crock pot that she did not remember at all. She went into the office where she keeps the books and when I walked in she was depressed about our finances. I wasn’t as understanding as I should have been and bluntly told her “Where is your God”. This wasn’t nice but we had many conversations about the miraculous way our needs have been met. When she went through the bills with me I told her what to pay and to let slide. Despite that she worried and fretted and wrote out checks I had asked her not to. All said and done she started crying so I left the room after telling her she needs to “snap out of it”. Like I said I wasn’t as understanding as I should have been but when times are tough you have to toughen up to get through them.

I called Paula at the Farm Bureau to ask about their quote for our car insurance because we are late with State Farm and they will cancel our insurance if they don’t get a check. If we pay State Farm we can’t pay the Farm Bureau to get the Texas insurance we need. Another rock and a hard place situation. Paula said she would get back with us on that.

It is going to be our first warm day in a while. I plan on nailing the baseboard in on the side of the back room we just painted and then moving the furniture over from the other side. That way I can pull the carpet up and caulk that side before stretching the carpet as best I can and putting the baseboard in there.

Things got allot better as the day moved on. I didn’t get too much done on the carpet. I had Cherie call up AIG insurance as they have been advertising how they beat others rates heavily on TV. Their quote was much lower than we had gotten from State Farm but we still didn’t have one from the Farm Bureau. I decided we could go ahead and get AIG’s because if the Farm Bureau beat them we could always cancel.

We went to the Farm Bureau that afternoon to sign and give a check for our farm insurance. Paula had finally gotten a reply from her insurance broker and while it was close it didn’t beat AIG so we’re sticking with them for now. By the way, the car insurance is much less than we expected so that helped Cherie greatly regarding her worries about money.

We visited with Paula for quite a while. Talked about what we’d like to do with the farm, marketing, and herbal and organic foods. In the process we talked of how the price on the farm had been jacked up so high and quickly. When Paula heard who the attorney was she had an immediate reaction. “He controls most of Stanton” she said. She also knows about Wayne, who had made the offer on the land. All in all it seems to confirm our suspicion of a conspiracy to get the farm. I remember how the attorney told me that I would have no choice but absolutely had to sign off on my half. The way he put it was that if I couldn’t match the offer the whole farm would be sold and the proceeds split between my brother and I. That was exactly what Larry was pushing me to do in his haste to get the cash. Yeah, there is a “Good ole boy” network in this little town.

Being out and talking with Paula helped Cherie’s spirits immensely. Almost a night and day difference in attitude. She is pretty lonely and really doesn’t have anyone to visit with. I have hoped to find friends for her at church but that happens slowly I guess. Paula has a good spirit and I think they would get along well. So how do you go about making a friend? I really don’t have a lot of experience there. When I was wandering with the amnesia and found the people I had done the war of 1812 reenacting with for several years one of them, John Dustate, told me that I was always distant and aloof when I inquired about what he could remember of me. He actually used the term “arrogant” in describing me. I can recall few who could be classified as friends in my life so I suppose making friends isn’t something I was good at. Cherie doesn’t have many friends either though there are a few from Phoenix she keeps in touch with.

I pulled some more of the rat debris out of the henhouse. Just now starting to get to the bottom, or at least I think I am. Now it is mostly dirt mixed with rat droppings over and under a few layers of plywood. I burned much of it.

We are both tired. I didn’t have any slow downs so that is good. It’s a good time to call it a night so I’ll be going to comfort the love of my life. It’s hard to keep her spirits up some days. We’ve got $80,000 worth of land and a hard time paying bills. I’m confident of our future, that we can make something of this but it is hard for her to see. Look forward to taking this pressure off of her. Night all.

By the way, I deleted one of my blogs, the one called Our Oasis, Our dream. I did that cause I haven't posted in it since August of last year. It was to be a documentation of fixing up the farm and that's pretty much covered here. Besides I don't have the time to devot to it.

Restless night but I'm off and running

(I have to give credit where credit is due. All of these prints I use are by my favorite artist, Beverly Doolittle. You can click on them to see them enlarged)

1/3/07 Wednesday
It was a long night. I kept thinking about the farm, what was I going to do and how would I do it. I have been researching “You pick farms” and am leaning hard in that direction. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this these are farms that usually have fruit orchards and are set up so the public can come in and pick their own fruit, usually at a discounted rate. We are familiar with these as they are not uncommon up north and there are several in the Toledo area.

In talking to other farmers I get a message that there is little money in raising pecans. Heard several stories of farmers who just let their pecan orchards die. I had already planned on planting a variety of fruit trees and plants just for us. Apples, raspberries, blackberries, blueberries, peaches, and whatever else caught our fancy. Now I am contemplating doing this on a much grander scale. The nearest U-Pick farms are in Lubbock and Abilene, both a hundred miles or so away. One in Lubbock is an apple orchard and seems to be set up much like the ones in Toledo with events such as making apple butter. I will get in touch with them and any others I can find to see if they will let me come see their operation.

Anyway my mind was filled and excited with thoughts on this. I would drift in and out of sleep and couldn’t tell between the thoughts and the dreams I would have. Of course I had drunken lots of coffee so having to get up and use the bathroom several times meant there was no deep sleep. I will continue researching this and have to admit it is an ambitious plan but I’ve never been a mediocre person when it comes to business. That is why I was such a success with my two companies in Toledo despite the poor business conditions of a depressed local economy. This thing they call a disability is just an inconvenience I can work around. So is being poor.

Today I will put the baseboard down in the backroom and hallway we painted two days or so ago. It is supposed to be cold and miserable out just as it was yesterday. Despite my saying I would work indoors yesterday I didn’t. Can’t help it. Like being outside in the open air. That is my preferred environment. I will probably finish cleaning out the henhouse but need to make myself work on designing a business plan for the farm. That probably won’t be hard to do as it has captured my mind and is an exciting return of the enthusiasm and positive can do attitude of my past. Love to have a dream and vision for the future. Lots to overcome but I’ve never shied away from a challenge. (except as a child when I would run from those who wanted to beat me up)

Enough of this. Cherie has her chores planned out and is already cleaning in the kitchen so I need to get moving also. I am tired from not sleeping well but the brain is working well, at an 8 on the bob scale

7:15 – It’s the end of the day, at least for me. I didn’t have any problems other than a headache. So what did I do today? I was full of energy this morning and some how got the hospital bed into the bus. Just moved it a few inches at a time as I pulled it up the steps. Then I went and got the tools I had taken out of the henhouse and thrown in the back. The axe is actually a rare one that is designed to plane logs straight. That was a surprise. The mystery piece of equipment is a device designed to project an enlarged microfilm image. I took the lenses out of it. Fred would love them to enlarge print so he could read it.

What else?? I had to take a nap at one or so and conked out till three. Then I tried to make something I could stretch the carpet with. I drove a bunch of nails through a piece of wood and attached another piece on top of it to strike with a hammer. It worked ok for about thirty seconds when the wood split and all the nails were bending backwards so I went out and made a heavy duty version. Didn’t get too much done before Cherie had dinner ready so called it quits. Cherie has turned into quite a cook. She baked a cake and made a Chinese type of dish with the chicken stew we had leftover from sometime.

That pretty much sums up the day. No wait, I just thought of something. Cherie called State Farm insurance in Ohio cause she could no longer go online for some reason. We have to send them a check or the insurance will be cancelled. We haven’t heard back from the Farm Bureau on their quote for car insurance yet.

I did spend some time online researching what might be available regarding grants we can apply for. There is so much it will take a while to sort through. Some of them have already passed the cut off date to apply for. There are thousands and thousands of grants out there covering about every category imaginable. There are Federal, state, and private foundation grants we can qualify for. Being a veteran, disabled, low income, and having a farm are all big areas for grants.

I am a bit tired and slowing down just a little on top of still having a headache so I think I’ll just call it a night. See ya next time.

A good yet hard day

Just thought of something I need to get going on. That is researching the many grants available for veterans, farms, disabilities, and other areas. Then, with Cathy’s (Cherie’s sister) help I can apply for them. The funds would be a key to making this a working farm.

1/2/07 Tuesday
That was the last little entry on yesterdays journal. It is cold outside with that dampness that makes you feel it so I don’t think I’ll do much outside today. I am running at a six on the bob scale this morning which is just below average. I will work on the research thing as well as start drawing up a business plan for the farm. I had done allot on this while we were in Toledo but stopped when we saw the money vanishing away, partly because of my brothers frantic rush to get a hold of his cash without allowing us to arrange financing to buy out his half. With that and Wayne Stroud’s offer on the farm that more than doubled the assessed value everything changed. We were told by the attorney handling the estate that the farm would be sold whether we wanted that or not. I was going to get wedding rings for Cherie and I as well as pay to have her teeth fixed but now we worry about paying the utilities and food.

Yesterday I had one of those emotional control moments where I get very angry. This time it was at Skittles. I had planted a five gallon bucket of winter wheat that Ronnie gave us after he mowed down all the weeds but nothing came up. There was some seed left so I raked up a patch of dirt next to the veranda. (That’s the area by our kitchen door. I don’t know what a veranda is but it sounds good so that’s what we call it) Then I spread the seed out and covered it with dirt the way Ronnie said to. Wasn’t long before birds were on it but I figured Skittles would chase them away. Nope. He was laying on his favorite chair ten feet away and not budging as these birds flung dirt around in their greed to get at this evidently prized bird treat. I chased the birds off several times and yelled at Skittles to “Get those birds you worthless cat”. (I probably didn’t say it that nice). They kept coming and Skittles kept lazily watching so I blew up. Hate when that happens. Not good.

Anyway, this morning I got some clear plastic out of the garage and covered the area with it. Don’t know if there is anything left but I would at least like to see what it looked like. This is an issue we will need to understand better when we start planting our garden in the spring. There are also things like animals who love to eat garden plants we’ll have to learn how to deal with. I’ll put a post on the homesteader website I visit so much to see what these professional growers do.

Cherie is going to run into town this morning to take care of financial stuff at the bank.

8:45 PM – It was a good day yet a hard day. I didn’t get much better regarding how sharp my thinking processes were but I did have a headache that eventually moved to migraine level.

Today I picked up and boxed the remaining canning jars that Lee had hoarded over the years. I threw away all the jars that wouldn’t work with standard canning lids yesterday. There were so many they almost filled a third of the dumpster. I gathered all the aluminum pieces of cookware and other aluminum items that I will strip down later and turn in for the scrap money. The seashells and other decorative things I put in the garage where they will remain till we are ready to decide what will go in the house and what won’t. I was going to put the hospital bed back on the bus but it’s too heavy for me to handle. Taking it off was hard enough but climbing up with it I can’t do. I did put the mattress in so it won’t get all soggy.

With that done I tried to open the hood of the bus to see what was there. That proved to be a challenge. It took some prying, spraying WD 40, and a little hammering to get it open. Boy, what a mess. Rats had made a home there also leaving their inevitable mess and the ever present calling card of rat poop. Some of the spark plug wires had been chewed through. Pulling the dipstick I see that there was water mixed in the oil leaving it white and foamy, a sign that the motor could have a cracked block or blown head gasket. I was surprised to see how small the motor is. It is a Ford 330 cubic inch V-8. Never heard of that size and I thought I knew them all. Regardless it doesn’t look good as far as me getting the motor running at least enough to move the bus.

By this time I started to have a slow down. This one affected the part of my brain they had taught to control my right leg. Thus the partial paralysis became evident and walking became difficult and I had to really concentrate on making sure my foot went where it was supposed to. That’s the way it goes. These petite seizures affect different parts of the brain with different types of results. Sometimes I get real confused and other times it’s physical. I never know. The bad ones seem to hit everything. I shuffled around for the rest of the day.

The last thing I did today was tackle the hen house. That is the last big mess to deal with. And what a mess it is. This was the old chicken coop where Lee and Rudy kept the chickens. I remember them well, especially a bantam hen Lee called Gertrude. I have some pictures of them and the quail that the chickens had adopted and raised. They might be stored on this computer so I’ll see if I can find them. Yep,I found it.

Anyway, it seems that after they got rid of the chickens, probably cause they were too much to deal with as Lee and Rudy got older, Rudy used the hen house to store things in. The pack rat debris was piled three feet high along with all the other stuff. Included in that were boxes and boxes of magazines that had belonged to R.S. Lewis, an old friend of Rudy’s. I remember him also. Quite a mischievous old fart. There were old tools buried under this crap, some of which I can use after repair the handles. There is also some mysterious device I will have to investigate later. No time for that now. I burned lots of the debris in the burn barrel but what you see in this picture is after I peeled of the top foot or so of crap. Still have a ways to go..

By six o’clock I was done for, moving around like I was 80 years old. Plus it was getting dark so I called it a day. Cherie had been designing her advertisement for sewing services that she plans on posting on bulletin boards around Stanton. When she saw what kind of shape I was in she made coffee and whipped up something to eat. I had planned on going to the church dinner bible study thing but don’t go out when I’m not doing well so didn’t.

So that was our day. I’ll call it quits now so goodnight.

What will this year bring?

1/1/07 Monday
Well it’s a new year. Last night, in typical fashion the fact that it was new years eve escaped my mind. We had bought a $5.00 bottle of champagne to celebrate in our mild way. Instead we both went to bed and to sleep. I woke up at 3:00 this morning and was unable to get back to sleep and Cherie joined me in that unwelcome event. I thought of getting up and going online but didn’t feel like braving the cold that pervades the house at night and opted instead to stay in our warm bedroom under the warm blankets and stare at a ceiling I couldn’t see in the dark. Fun Fun.

On top of that I am paying the price for all the work I did on the bus. Couldn’t lay on my side to sleep well and laying flat on my back was the least painful. Unfortunately, for some reason I don’t sleep well that way. This morning I am moving carefully to avoid that pain. It’ll get better after I get this body moving. At least I hope it will.

I am running a good 8 on the bob scale, just a hair above average. So what will we do today? Cherie had cleaned the walls in the hall in preparation to paint so that will be a quick job. There is still some paint left in the five gallon pail we bought. That is a good way to buy paint as you get more for the money.

I have been contemplating building a cabinet for the oven/microwave we got from the Habitat for Humanity store so we could put it in the kitchen. Of course I have to run some 220 volt wiring for it and that will be a problem. We need to get a new breaker box and actually rewire the house so there are grounded receptacles. Even not doing that I still don’t think I can hook up 220. There are only five or six breakers on the current box and I really don’t know much about electricity. There is a 220 plug in the back room that had been used for the freezer that no longer exists. Unfortunately that wire will be easy to move over to the hot water heater closet so I don’t want to use it for the oven.

While burning things yesterday I noticed that the couch used some good hardwood in it’s construction so I carefully tore it apart. It’ll take a while to pull all the staples and stuff that held the cloth and springs but it’s wood. Wood I can work with and cut out what I need. There is some old paneling we had pulled off the wall (it was glued on, not stapled) that I can use for the front and sides of the cabinets. It’s a temporary measure to provide some esthetics till I can do it right. There are tons of cabinet doors at the Habitat for Humanity store we can use when I really get into it. Can’t wait till I get a table saw and router. Of course I’ll need some good electricity in the garage. Right now I am plugging into the wire run for the garage door opener and the insulation has rotted off where it runs from the house to the garage.

There was someone in our Sunday school class who was remodeling their bathroom. If I’d thought of it I would have asked what they did with their old faucets and cabinets cause we could have used them here. I’ll have to ask Steve about that. Whoever it was sat near us but I can’t remember their face. That’s one of the weird things about this short term memory. I can remember the conversation but facial recognition is not there. This is not uncommon with traumatic brain injuries.

You can tell when I am doing well cause I rattle on as I write. When I’m slow you will see short sentences and paragraphs. Well it’s 9:00 now so I’ll get myself up and moving. Cherie fixed a nice breakfast with our version of egg McMuffins using pepper jack cheese and one of the grapefruits we got such a great deal on at the Mercado grocery store.