Great end

1/7/07 Sunday
It looks like Skittles is gone. He wasn’t waiting at the door as he usually is and his food wasn’t touched. That’s the way it is out here. There have been signs of coyotes around here and the hawk is continually on the hunt so odds are Skittles was cat food. Adding to that equation is the bobcat Chuck said he had seen. The smell of cat pee could well have attracted it. I had explained to Cherie that this could well happen but she seems to be taking it well, in fact maybe a bit better than I. After church I walked through the field looking for any sign of him. Perhaps he’ll saunter in later but I doubt it. It’s a shame. We both liked Skittles but that is the way of things, natures circle of life.

Church was hard for me. This is the first time I’ve been there during a slow down. I started out the morning fine but had a headache going by the time we got to Sunday school. We got there early so I walked around a little, exploring I guess you’d say. When I went past the class who’s teacher had invited me to attend a few weeks ago I saw them making a fresh pot of coffee so stopped in and got a cup. We visited briefly, talking a little about Minnie Lee (my grandmother who’s farm we inherited). My cousin Darryl walked and greeted me warmly. I’m still unsure of myself regarding what family thinks of me.

I went back to Steve’s class where Cherie was waiting and sat down for the class to start. (I’m pretty slow as I write this so am struggling to make the sentences better) By now my headache is at mild migraine level and my ability to follow the teaching is hampered from the slow down. The lesson was based on the Genesis creation story and I have some serious misgivings about that so was going to keep my mouth shut anyway. After the class Steve asked me how my week had been. At times like these it is hard for me to formulate answers to questions so I said “I don’t know. Ask Cherie”. I hope he didn’t find it rude of me.

In church things had gotten worse. My back pain was getting high on top of the migraine and this time the petite seizure was effecting my balance and visual centers of the brain. I couldn’t close my eyes during prayer because I can fall over if I do and had to hold onto the pew in front of me. They always have a “go greet someone” period at the beginning of the service but I couldn’t deal with it so just stayed seated. I don’t know what folks thought as they came over and sticking out their hand would say “Hi, I’m so and so” and I unenthusiastically responded. The lady next to me asked “Are you OK?”. I lied and said I was. Not really an intentional lie just what came out. On the visual end my depth perception is strangely affected in that different colors appear to be different distances. It’s hard to describe but I’ll try. The girls in front of me had different colored jeans on and the lighter one looked like it was two feet closer than the legs of the girl next to her despite they were standing together. Our bathroom floor has a pattern of blue and light colored specks. The light specks look like they are pieces of gravel on top of the floor. This doesn’t happen often, in fact rarely, but is disconcerting.

Cherie could tell I had a bad headache just from looking at my face so I’m sure I looked unhappy to everyone else. Much of the time I just held my head in my hand, covering my eyes. Probably looked like I was “under conviction” to use church terminology for those whom the message was hitting home and were feeling bad about their lives or something. Nope, just miserable. Cherie asked if I wanted to leave but I told her “No”. I was there and would tough it out because I don’t want anyone thinking bad about me or gossiping as they conjectured about what was going on. Yeah I know, I’m being paranoid but probably always will be unsure of myself regarding how others perceive me.

I was glad to get home. Went into the bedroom and closed the curtain (fancy word for blanket) on the window because light hurts my eyes when migraines reach this level of intensity. Cherie and I are going for a walk now. I’ll have to wear my sunglasses. Of course part of our motivation is to look for Skittles.

It’s 7:00 now. I cleared up after the walk. We saw tracks that looked like they might have been bobcat’s. Gotta go online and see if they were. Not really feeling literate so I’ll just post this and watch mindless crap on the TV.

Well, right when I was writing that I heard Cherie call out “Skittles is back”. Imagine that. He has mud on him and I suspect he got stuck in some hole somewhere, probably chasing a rat or something. Anyway we are both relieved and it has brightened Cherie up tremendously. Great way to end the day. See ya tomorrow.