Gonna get cold

1/12/07 Friday
Cherie was inspired to finally start writing her memoirs. I’ve been encouraging her to do this for quite some time. She stayed on her computer till 3:00 this morning and came to bed on principle, not cause she was tired. This morning I got up, fixed coffee, and tried to be quiet so she could sleep. Carman woke her up anyway cause he wanted his breakfast and morning treat. We are all creatures of habit, even the creatures. I fixed breakfast for us. Cherie was apologizing over and over last night for staying up and writing. There was nothing I could say that would keep her from feeling guilt. This is an ingrained part of her personality, where it seems that every time she is doing something she wants she invariably feels there must be something wrong. When she got up this morning it was the same thing. “Cherie, I’ve been trying to get you to write for three years now. You just told me that you had prayed to God that when you came to Texas you would like to write and start up your sewing business. What’s wrong? Why can’t you just be comfortable?” I said. She agrees it’s OK but I know it will come back again. I’ve often joked that she has the worlds fastest “I’m sorry”. It is the result of a lifetime of having every detail of her life criticized and not being good enough. We are all formed in our early years, with our thinking molded by the events that surrounded us. It is hard to break that mold.
Here's some pictures Cherie took of our quail yesterday. Yeah I know she's not the best aim with a camera but there they are.


I enlarged these two out of the gang. Fat little suckers aren't they. They are good eating and I suppose if I had to I could throw a rock and kill one but that might take a year or two the way I throw. Besides that we'll never starve cause we're in America and the church folks would help us out if we really needed it. I don't intend to really need it. We do OK by being frugal and not wasting anything.

This will be the last warm day for a while. I warmed the pot of water like we always do to wash up and did my standing up wash cloth bath. As usual I poured alcohol on the wash cloth to make sure everything was sanitized. I used to shower every day but now only do this twice a week or so. Whenever I would get into something nasty like cleaning out the rat nests with thirty years of feces built up I’d clean up but other than that I stretch it out. It is not at all fun to stand naked, washing down with a wet cloth when the room is only forty degrees or so. With an electric bill we can’t afford to pay we are using the space heaters at a minimal level now. Can’t wait till spring cause that will make the electric bill much less. Cherie just checked our bank account and we have $57.00 to last us till the end of the month. That’s nineteen days away.

We will have to let our Direct Buy loan lapse. That’s a shame. It was a great idea when we thought there would be cash enough to fix and equip the house. Being able to purchase everything from windows to appliances for the same price the retail giants pay would have saved us thousands. I am going to see if we can sell the contract to get out from under it. It’s amazing how quick things can change. The maneuvering of those who wanted to purchase this farm and my brother who wanted to cash it out bit us in the ass hard. Now we have land worth eighty grand and can’t pay the electric. This land can be a source of tremendous (by our standards) income but it will take time and money to achieve. You wait and see, we’ll get there. No quitters here though we can get depressed a little.

4:14 – Kinda slow right now. I forgot I had written anything today and was surprised to find this. Been out getting ready for the cold weather. The temperature is dropping now. The wind is blowing out of the north east. I drained the garden hose and put plastic over the winter wheat we finally got to grow. I put an extra blanket in the den we made for Skittles and turned on the heating pad we put in there. He doesn’t seem to go in there but who can tell. When I go out in the morning he is already out of the garage. Yeah, I’m pretty slow now. Running a four on the bob scale. Wasn’t bad most of the day.

I spent hours on Cherie’s computer trying to figure out what was wrong with it. It wouldn’t go to Yahoo so she could check her mail. I tried to download some anti spyware such as AVG and Ad Aware with no luck. Actually I finally got Ad Aware to load but it wouldn’t update it’s definitions. Couldn’t even get it to load the new Explorer 7 from Microsoft. Ran Ad Aware just now and it found 77 items 54 of which it labeled critical. I’ll see if that helps tomorrow. Not up to messing with it now. Fact I’ll just post this and call it a night unless I get sharp with a burst of energy.