1/28/06 Saturday
Yesterday was a very good day. I stayed sharp all day long and got lots done. This morning I have a headache coming and am slow. Running a 4 on the Bob scale. Figures. Yesterday Glen and Eileen gave me the McAfee security program. I think it costs $80 or $90 dollars new. It is being a pain so I may uninstall it. I’ll wait till I am sharper to decide that. There is much I need to fill in on yesterdays entry and that too must wait till I clear up. Think I’ll go back to bed now. It is only 9:26. I showered and shaved because Fred said he might like to get out today. At first he said no because he knows I like to keep my weekends free but I told him it was OK. Cherie got me a couple of aspirin but they aren’t touching this so it’s time for the Zomig.
Fred called and I will take him out at 11:30. Hope the headache is better but it is 11:23 now so I’m out of luck. I will still do this because it is right and with the service comes the use of his Cadillac, which is a tremendous help to a one car family. Gotta go.


1/29/06 Sunday
Woke up at 6:00 this morning. Cherie was still asleep which is unusual because she is used to getting up for work. I got up and turned this laptop on and checked my E mail. Cherie got up around 7:30. It will be rainy all day. We don’t have a plans and I am not inclined to get out in this. The temp is going to drop all day long, down to just above freezing. I am running at a 7 this morning. Maybe a 6. Was alert but now am getting tired. I got upset at Cherie. She was shopping for about four hours yesterday and this morning I found she did not get everything on the list we keep of things we need.
Just got back from Kroger. This is one of those frustrating days that exemplifies the strange instability I have from the brain injury. I have a slight headache which I don’t care about too much. I am just a little slow but not bad at all. I laid down at 8:30 or so and when I woke up I was surprised to see it was 11:30. My right leg (The one that is partially paralyzed) is exceptionally numb and walking through Kroger was a chore. For those of you who don’t know, part of what they had to do at the hospital was to teach another part of my brain to operate that leg as well as to regain some of my right side coordination. This is one of the things that made some think I was faking because one moment I would limp badly and later would walk just fine. It’s just like me going from smart to stupid with the slow downs.
It’s already 3:00. Cherie just went out to do things like get cat food and visit her parents. When I stood up to kiss her I almost fell over because of the leg. I am kind of light headed now, the equilibrium is off.
3:42 – The ears are ringing and the headache is moving from mild to migraine. This sucks.
4:10 – I have closed all the blinds and had turned off the TV a while ago. I have slowed down to a 3 or 4 on the Bob scale. Called Cherie because a recipe I looked up to make for Ahmed calls for rolled oats. Don’t have a clue what that is and neither does Cherie. I’m feeling hot also so wonder what is going on.
I called Larry and left a message for him to call. Really don’t expect him too but it would be nice. Always hope for him to show integrity. You know, hope for the best.

9:33 – Just got off the phone with Larry. He never called back so I called him. I am still processing our conversation. In a way talking to Larry is like talking to air. He kept telling me why it would be good for us to move to the farm as if he was trying to sell me on the idea. During the conversation he told me about ten times “I want you to have the farm” (referring to the house). I finally told him that I was glad he wanted that because it was mine anyway and we were going to move down there whether he liked it or not. I said it to make the point that it wasn’t his decision exclusively. “Larry, we already own the farm. It’s yours and ours”. Then he said something about Virginia as if we had to get her OK on it. Then it was back to the he talked to the lawyer thing as if that was relevant. I’m really clueless about his train of thought. At least we didn’t get all pissed off like we usually do.
I had started out the conversation asking him if he read the E mail I sent. He said “Yeah, the real nasty one where you called me a liar and a nigger”. That threw me off so I told him I never called him a nigger and I grabbed this laptop and pulled up my E mail while we talked to prove it.
(Here it is) Well Larry, you ran allot of stuff by me the other day but here is what I need you to do. Put everything down in an E mail. I do much better with written statements and this should eliminate confusion and the "I didn't say that" crap. By the way you seem to be clueless about Virginia's powers and role as the executor of the estate. Her function is to assist us in negotiating the division of property and assets. I have consulted with those who know and it appears that you are full of shit and were trying to manipulate me. For you to "tell me" how it is going to be is an insult. I am far from stupid and will not be treated that way. While I am writing I would like a list of what you have removed from the house and what you have told others they can have or do. That includes Troy and his use of the garage. I don't have a problem with that but as half owner I will require you to include me in the loop. This is not just your domain to do as you wish. I am a phone call away. Getting along requires you to treat me with the same respect you would like shown to you.
Your brother, Bob
This was a response I made regarding Larry’s telling me Virginia would just sell the farm if I didn’t “come to an agreement”. (See the 1/16/06 journal entry) I started to read it to him and he didn’t seem to remember. I went back to the E-mail he was referring to which was sent November 27. I did get a little pissey in that one.
(Here’s that one)
Well Larry, I see things haven't changed with you. Virginia said that when you told her you finally had a job you said you would pay me what you owed because you were tired of me riding your ass. Really? How many times have I talked to you this year? Not many at all and only a couple of phone calls in the last six months. I had hoped you would do the right thing but it was in vain. I guess I will just add this to the long list of lies you have told. Not only have you lied to me but Virginia also. I have to wonder what other lies you have told about me to the rest of my family. I covered your ass regarding forging mothers signature on the title of the truck. I'm done with that now. I tried. Nothing like screwing over your own family, huh? Are you proud of yourself? Call me or E mail me. I'm tired of playing.
For the growing family of readers this refers to how my brother took what he could when our mother died without telling me. I could have let the state know he forged the title, which is a felony, but decided not to.
Anyway this ended up being one of the nicer conversations we have had. He told me he would be glad to come down and help work on the house to get it fixed up. That would be real nice because he knows a heck of a lot more about constructions stuff than I do. Only time will tell if he will do what he says.
Larry seemed again to be curious or inquisitive about my veterans benefits. He asked more questions about it and then lamented about how he has no insurance so if he got sick he was screwed. He asked about my discharge and seemed unaware I had an honorable discharge. Then he asked again about Social Security. Larry explained how the last companies he worked for had no benefits and that he needed to find a job. (He is still out of work) I mentioned that there were fantastic opportunities in New Orleans but he said he was not moving from Fort Worth because this was where his friends are. That I can understand but you got to do what you got to do to live. With his skills he could make a killing down there. Hell they’re rebuilding an entire city. It wouldn’t mean he has to vacate Fort Worth, just have to spend some time away. With my background and skills starting and running companies I could tap into the eight billion dollars in government grants set up for that area and set him up. The only problem is he would need supervision cause he is not a people person in the running employees area.

You know, it was a rough day all day and now that it’s getting late I am sharp. Figures. Yesterday was hard as you can tell by the short entry that I haven’t published yet. Eileen and others have had lots of questions about the farm in Texas so I think I will do a whole piece on that. Lots of the pictures we have. We will be rebuilding the house and everything else. It will be fun to do a step by step pictorial as we transform it into the oasis we have envisioned.


I have been spending lots of time researching what is called sustainable living. This is setting things up so your dependence on outside services such as electricity is reduced to a minimum. One of the things we are looking at is a composting toilet. This thing uses no water or with some models only takes a pint to flush, then it composts the waste, turning it into a dry humus that you can put in the garden as fertilizer. We will raise chickens and grow a big garden for fresh food. I have looked into rain water harvesting where we catch all the rain and send it to a cistern where it is treated. Rain water is about as pure as you can get. We have lots of plans and dreams but as with all things only time will tell.
Cherie talked to her sister, Connie, today. They talked about her parents. This is an area of great concern as they have both had strokes and are becoming increasingly unable to take care of themselves. We would like to get them safely set up before we leave so they can be looked after but it may not happen. Whenever Cherie brings it up her mom does her “It’s up to the Lord” thing. This blind belief is unnerving. She seems to think that God is just going to come down and take care of their problems. She is going to just sit there in the middle of the road while a truck comes barreling down towards her and wait for God to fix it. Where this theology comes from I don’t know but it seems more like giving up than believing. Kind of a cop out to sit on your ass and do nothing.