The daily struggle continues

It continues, the daily struggle against all that would hinder us and keep us from achieving our goals. If you believe in God you must understand there is a devil. With that in mind I must ask “How much of this is a spiritual battle?” There are forces at work against us, just as there is an unseen hand that has done wonderful things that defy logical explanation. So I pray, pray that God help us overcome these difficulties and whatever it is that is against us. I know there are people who actively work to hinder what we do, who use the power of the tongue to poison the minds of those we come in contact with. I also see the greed and selfishness that overcomes otherwise good people so that the good they wish to do actually is to our detriment.

There is the depression that comes on like a flood so I must think it too has spiritual roots. I can be feeling great and walk outside to have feelings of despair and hopelessness wash over me with such force that I want to give up and just turn around and come back in. And I watch Cherie fighting this same thing. She will tackle a task such as designing and printing flyers for the widow with enthusiasm and joy but when it comes to something connected to the farm and this house it’s quite a different matter. Cherie remarked to me the other day how she can be doing great and feel energetic till the moment she comes home. Then the depression and even physical tiredness sets in. So I’m beginning to think that there is more to this than meets the eye, that it’s a spiritual thing.

So the key then is for us to have faith, to believe in our heart the scripture that says “If God be for us, who can be against us” and “I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me”. In this regard I have failed Cherie for it is my responsibility to lead in spiritual matters, to dedicate time to pray and study the bible with Cherie. In many ways I must be her strength, someone she can lean on and depend on to hold her up and support her. It is an area I am lacking in currently.

I’ve been out mowing and pulling weeds all morning, and it seems like I just touched the surface. This area is where our onions are, plus some collard greens that surprisingly showed up. They’d been planted along with a whole lot of stuff but none of it ever came up due to the well water poisoning the seeds. One day, after the rains, I was out there with Sam showing him where to hoe and we saw them growing. They weren’t growing on the hills I planted them but evidently the seeds had washed off so these were growing in the walkways.

Despite having a whole T shirt tied on my head I had sweat running into my eyes and on my glasses. The T shirt is soaked through so much I could wring a bucketful out of it. Hard to believe it’s already noon. There’s so much to do, there’s always so much to do.

There is a day coming when we will have the resources we need to work this farm. I’ll be able to afford and support the help we so desperately need, and with that help comes the increased ability to make this a profitable working farm. Till then I struggle forward as best I can. If every door we come to seems like it’s slammed in our face it doesn’t matter. That’s because we trust in God and there is nothing that can stand in His way, nothing God can’t overcome and deal with. Those who wish to take advantage of us must face God. Right now I’m sure someone reading this is snickering at my blind belief, laughing at the naiveté I and all Christians like me, am displaying. All I can say is “watch and see what God can do”.

So pray for us and specifically pray for my wife, that she can overcome this depression that is attacking her.

Part of the daily struggle right now is fighting the ticks that infest the dogs. We put hundreds of dollars worth of Frontline on them but it seems to do little good. Bought some more tick shampoo and I’ll wash them again today. Unfortunately I’m unable to wash Gretchen and Ben, the outside dogs, for they won’t stand still for it. I’ll spray them with the Adams tick spray we have. That will help.

Took my second pain pill and think I’ll run to Stanton, where I’ll pick up mail and if Carols is open buy some tacos for lunch. Then it’s back to work.