Monday, July 26, 2010

What's behind smiling faces?

Today's bird picture. We thought there were only three baby birds in this nest. Come to find out there are four. It's already crowded so we worry that one will eventually fall or get pushed out. This is the way of nature, life can be cruel and the concept of "fair" doesn't exist in the wild.

7/26/10 Monday
It’s the start of another week. There is always more to do than one man can do but I’m used to that. Time and God will help me find the means to accomplish the goals we have. I am motivated by many things, the love I have for Cherie and the desire to create a life for her being way up there on the list. Another motivation I have is the knowledge of the low esteem some have for us. I love to prove their concept of who I am wrong. But ultimately I desire to create that which will change lives, provide the jobs, help, and assistance some need to pick themselves up in life. It will be a legacy that keeps giving long after I am gone. I was recently told, in an indirect way, that we had no need for a legacy and in that the teller revealed their heart and the true value they placed on us. There is a disdain there, an air of “We’re better than you are and thus deserve more than you do". It was sad to hear, broke our hearts.
Love these cannas, or whatever they're called. Grow no matter what and attract hummingbirds too.

But I refuse to be discouraged. I will press on towards the goal, confident that my life has a purpose and that I was raised from the dead for a reason. If I achieve these goals will I gloat and throw it in others' faces? I hope not for then I would be just as hypocritical as they are, I would become the very thing that is so distasteful to me. My prayer is that I will show mercy and grace and work to help those who judge, and in their heart despise, to become better people.

Was talking to our friend, who visited the farm yesterday, about the plaque I so often display on this blog. She’s seen it and when I quoted the creed written thereon “Money and things will vanish in a flash. What has true lasting value is the lives you touch”, she shook her head in enthusiastic agreement. So that is my motivation. The bible says “Whatever you do in word or deed, do all to the glory of God”. I am no longer interested in simply filling my pockets or acquiring possessions. Been there and done that years ago before the coma. I’ve had money, prestige, and all that comes with it. In fact these things contributed to my destruction.

This was the car. Was flung out the back window as it rolled end over end
You may get tired of hearing it but I’ll say it again, my life is a gift. I was pronounced dead at the scene of the car wreck (still listed as a fatality in Oklahoma) and then was like a baby, having to have my diapers changed and spoon fed. I was taught once again how to talk and walk and then wandered homeless for almost two years as my brain struggled to repair itself. What was important to me no longer matters. Oh, it wasn’t an epiphany as in a sudden realization or change. This took years to evolve, a slow retraining of thought so to speak. Finding Cherie twenty years after our divorce, and having life restored to us, is an integral part of this change in how I view the world. So here’s the scripture of the day, from my favorite chapter of the bible, Mathew chapter 6, which contains the Lord’s prayer along with so much else.
Just a couple of weeks ago this was all weed free. We've only lost 3 of the Afghan pines so far.

Mathew 6.19 "Do not store up for yourselves wealth here on earth, where moths and rust destroy, and burglars break in and steal. 20 Instead, store up for yourselves wealth in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and burglars do not break in or steal. 21 For where your wealth is, there your heart will be also.

I may not have all I once did, and in fact don’t have much at all and the government says that our level of income places us at the poverty level, but I am one of the richest people on earth. I have life and my wife. Everything is paid for from the home, land, to our vehicles so by many standards in the world we are wildly wealthy. I’ve seen true poverty so what the government standards are, are really irrelevant. We are blessed in so many ways. There is a roof over our heads, food in the cupboard, and we have found a few friends, whom we can trust. The last, friends we can trust, is the most valuable of them all.

There’s work to do. I came in to fix some eggs and sat down with this computer to quickly check email and ended up writing all this. Be blessed folks, think about what is really important and if needed make changes accordingly. Love life and live a life you can be proud of.

Frustration comes in many ways. There was one single watermelon that managed to grow in the garden. I took a picture and posted it just a few days ago. It was almost ripe but I decided to give it a few more days. Gretchen and Ben, but most likely Gretchen, broke into it and ate it all. Pissed me right off. I’ve put up fence posts and have the fencing ready to go but am unable to stretch the fence by myself. It’s been sitting here ready to go for over two months now. One of the guys from the halfway house helped me fence in where the tomatoes are back when we could afford the help. We really need to finish this. Ben was laying right on top of the peas that were just coming up, crushing them. He seems to very much enjoy laying on the beds I’ve made for the plants. They did this all before, not just laying on the plants but digging nice little places in them to lay in. So fences are important and till they get put up it will be difficult.

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