What to do?

1/19/08 Saturday
So now I need advice on the right way to do things. I emailed Eric and he asked me to make a list of questions he could show some friends who may have the experience to answer. I think I’ll post this on the blog for it will contain pictures to help you get a better idea. Don called as I was heading for Bill’s fireplace to see what he had. Don let me know that Tractor Supply carries woodstoves so they might carry what I need. Bill wasn’t in so his secretary called him and handed me the phone. Bill said he no longer carried thimbles and stuff but he had one somewhere in the back. He asked me to write down what I needed and leave a number so he could call back. I’m still trying to figure out what I need so that’s difficult. The thimble I know so I wrote that and tried to describe the bottom part I don’t know the name for. He didn’t call back.

Tractor Supply does have woodstove stuff and in fact it just went on sale as they are clearing stock for the upcoming spring season. There is one of those kits like Lowe’s has but it was $250. Neither kit has the five 36” lengths I need to get up over the top of the roof included. The ones at Tractor Supply cost $76.00 each. Ouch. Times five that is $380.00. There was one out of the box I could look at. They are stainless steel units with an insulated center pipe surrounded by another one with an inch or so air space between the two. Unfortunately my memory can’t recall what I saw at Lowe’s so we will go back there this morning.

One of my questions is “Do I need something this nice?”. I called the place in Odessa suggested by a friend in the comment section yesterday. The lady flat out said they were “Ten times the cost of Lowe’s”. “OK…Thank you” I said after she also informed me they do not stock this stuff but would be glad to order it. There is no question I want to put the good stuff through the wall but I wonder about the need to use it all the way to the top.







Everyone (including Tractor Supply) carries the single wall snap together stove pipe so I have to believe it’s not totally unsafe. I’ll need to see if there is something that transitions the insulated double wall stuff, or what ever it was Lowe’s has, to the single wall pipe. (You can see what I had before in the top of the picture) That would be much less expensive. There has been two hundred dollars donated through the PayPal button to the right for this need. Thank you very much guys. Plus we have a couple of hundred bucks to use so I would like to do it all within that budget. Bob at Christmas in Action will donate some siding and perhaps other building material so that will help.







Here’s another question. What is the best way to repair the wall itself? Bob has some cement based siding that would be very resistant to heat. Unfortunately I don’t have a clue about it. Would love your input on this folks.

Could I just screw in a short piece of 2X4 where the stud was burned or do I need to replace the whole thing. That would require taking off a ton of siding. Jay had suggested I reside the whole side of the house and I think Bob could supply that much siding. But that becomes a major project that I can’t do by myself and it’s winter so it’s probably not workable. Besides we plan on residing the entire house as that is desperately needed with the rot in various places. A project for next year or whenever it works out.

The drywall repair I think I can handle.

That’s it for now. We are heading into town where we will look at and perhaps take pictures of the Lowe’s stuff as well as buy groceries. Can’t make that drive without getting more than one task done.

The culprit

1/18/08 Friday
It was sixteen degrees out this morning and the weatherman put the wind chill at five degrees. We were comfortable tucked under the covers and down blanket Cherie got a steal on before Christmas. A seventy plus dollar blanket for seventeen works good for us. So everything was nice and cozy till I had to sit on the toilet. OK!!!! I’m AWAKE now. Outside of the bedroom, where we have the space heater, it wasn’t bad all things considered. This old house is well insulated. It was forty five degrees in the office area with no heat back there at all. I was surprised the puppies slept on the couch in the living room. If there was a wind it would be different with these old leaky windows. Anyway, I don’t think we will have to worry about the pipes freezing.

So the official investigation on the cause of this fire is complete in my incomplete way. “Here is the culprit” the detective proclaimed. At least I think it is. This is the original “thimble”. I learned that’s what they are called as I looked at stove stuff in the stores. Ace Hardware, where I bought the stove pipe last winter, doesn’t carry them. Home Depot has absolutely nothing for woodstoves. Only Lowe’s so far has these types of items. I’ll get to that in a bit.

You can see in this picture that the thimble is rusted out. Odds are it was this way when I installed the woodstove last winter but I decided it wouldn’t hurt as there was still a large air space there. Besides, when you are poor you do the best you can with what you’ve got. I just went back in this journal to read about this. We got the stove on 1/27/07. It took me quite a while to get it all installed but there is no mention of me noticing the thimble was rusted out. I know it was rusty but it may have rusted through over the last year from the combination of heat and rain seeping in during this unusually wet year. Regardless I put in all new stove pipe. There is a note I made that said I didn’t have a clue what I was doing. Nothing new about that. Much of what I do I must figure out as I go and making mistakes is a regular event. Going back and reading this journal is always an experience as I see what I can’t remember. Brings things back, mostly sadness about how things went at the first church of Stanton. I just don’t understand how they can be so blind, I don’t understand any of it but am sad and was hurt.

I suppose you could call us the "Hole in the Wall Gang"

Amy made a comment yesterday about seeing some things that were probably done wrong. No surprise there. When I went to Lowe’s they didn’t have any thimbles by themselves but did have a lot of insulated pipe and a kit with everything you need from the stove to the top. There is a piece that goes on the bottom of the outside pipe with a removable part so you can run a chimney brush up to clean out the creosote buildup. The kit costs $218.00. That’s a chunk for us but I want to do this right. Don’t need any fires. This is our home and future. The place we will build a life we can be happy with.

It will get up to forty eight degrees today. Nice and warm compared to yesterday. Jay let me borrow his reciprocating saw so I will be able to cut out lots of the burned wood. Eric called yesterday to check on us. The Marshal’s called and offered to let us stay at their place. (I think it was them. They talked to Cherie) I’m not real clear on it all because of the memory thing. As much as I hate to I might take Eric up on the offer to help financially. There has been so much generosity shown us by the Sunday school class. It’s just…I don’t know, I would rather stand on my own two feet I guess and don’t like being a bum. That’s a pride thing but pride is something I’ve been swallowing ever since I woke up from the coma.
It's patched up for now

That reminds me. I was going to write the “Poop Scoop Essay” and as usual didn’t get to it. Cherie has gone to Janie’s to clean and I will head up there to poop scoop when it warms up. I’ll do some more shopping around for wood stove stuff while there. Just put $84.00 in the gas tank yesterday. That makes $160.00 for the month so far. Someone asked me “Why so much?” a while back. It’s twenty miles to Midland from here, which means it twenty miles back. So going to town is a forty mile trip plus the miles we put on in town. At sixteen miles to the gallon and roughly three bucks for a gallon of gas it costs at least eight bucks per trip. It adds up so I try to do as much as possible when I go up there to get as much out of that trip as I can.

Poop Scoop Essay

So here is the poop scoop essay.

“…but know that you’re over qualified for the poop cleaning job!!! You are very intelligent and a hard worker and need to give yourself more credit than you do” a friend wrote. I suppose that is true but not true at the same time. Over qualified? Let’s see, I founded and built several companies with only pennies in my pocket with up to 127 employees. I commanded $120 an hour consulting fee teaching companies how to create a corporate image, find customers, and sell their products. And there are many other things I could put on a resume. Sure I could find a job in Midland where they are starving for workers. Oh I could put on a show in a job interview, as long as I wasn’t having the slowdowns that come with stress. But I would have to lie and it wouldn’t take long to be found out when I freeze up and forget what I was told or was doing. You know, this is hard for me, to see opportunities all over but be unable to reach out and grasp them. To know I would fail. That’s why I will build this farm. Here there is a familiar environment and I can create the routines the doctors say are good to have. Here I can go lay down when having a seizure and work when I am able. There is no other job that allows you to work when you feel like it.

So I am grateful to poop scoop. You see, no one is born with humility. At least not that I know of. I was on top of the world at one time, had success and reputation, all that stuff folks strive for. Was I proud? I don’t remember but I’m sure I was. But there’s a saying I’ve heard “Pride goes before a fall”. Don’t know where it came from but it rings true. Humility is learned I believe and I learned it hard. In the Bible there was a king. He was the king of Babylon and at that time one of the most powerful people in the world, having conquered most of the nations around. Then his pride pissed off God and the next thing you know he was wandering without his mind and eating grass with the cows. Quite a story. So here was I, on top of my world but then I fell and what a long and hard fall it was.

The precipitous slide down apparently started when I fell from the pallet racking in my warehouse. From that moment everything began unraveling. It probably wasn’t wrapped to tight as it was so didn’t take much. The wife (second wife, not Cherie. She’s the first and third wife) was caught with another man, I wasn’t being faithful either, drugs and drinking escalated, and more I won’t get into. Then came the car wreck. Next thing I know I’m waking up having my diapers changed. Waking up took a week or two. My hands and feet were tied down and I was fed through a tube. Then they began hand feeding me stuff like baby food with a spoon. I can’t talk, I can’t think clearly, I’m pretty much operating at a babies level. I’m learning humility though I don’t know it yet. As they teach me to talk and walk my memories begin to stir. Nothing clear, just unconnected fragments. I knew I had been somebody.

Over the next two years things begin to clear. I ended back up in Toledo but was wandering homeless, sleeping where I could find a spot. If I had a dollar hamburger a day I was happy. My toilet paper came from Wendy’s and McDonalds where I could get their napkins. Despite my circumstance I refused to beg. Other’s I met on the street tried to get me to bum spare change and other things but there was no way. I hung on to that scrap of pride. I still hang on to it but have learned a few things on the way. All pride is not bad but must come with integrity. At least that’s how I see it.

So I am grateful to poop scoop. It allows me to help those who have helped me so much. It allows a little pride to remain. When I get this farm running I can stand on my own two feet but until then I must rely on my veteran’s disability pension and the free medical attention I get from the VA. To take a job that I would only lose is not wise right now. So I work to create my job, one I can do and do well. You can’t get fired when you are your own boss. At least I don’t think so. Humility? It’s a good thing to learn, it’s a good thing to be content and grateful for what you have.

End of essay.

Fire continued

1/17/08 Thursday
It’s daylight now so I will be able to go out and see the damage. Then I will go buy what we need to fix it. Whether we do just a patch up job or what depends on how much it costs. Regardless I want to get the wood stove back to operating safely as it is our source of heat. I think those pass through things that insulate the stove pipe from the wall cost about seventy bucks but I can’t rely on memory so who knows. Then there is the challenge of knowing the right way to repair this as I don’t have much experience with construction or don’t remember it if I do. As with everything I’ll do the best I can with what I have. Damn sure don’t want this happening again. I am impressed by Cherie’s strength in all of this. There was a time I think she would have fallen apart but now she can even make little jokes to lighten up things.









So I have a busy day ahead and it’s cold even for my northern self and going to get colder. I’ll have Cherie check our bank accounts but there is a hundred dollars in our savings account so I think it will be alright. Besides she gets her last check from the cotton survey job tomorrow so we’re covered. Time to dress warm and get out. Dressing warm is now required inside the house. The warmest room is the bedroom where we have the space heater but walk past the blanket hanging over the doorway and the temperatures drop drastically. I’ll take some pictures of the burn damage in the daylight as they will show you a better view of the damage than the ones I took last night.









Wow, I have to wonder how long it was burning considering how much wood is absolutely gone. But this siding is old old so pretty dry. Will have to see how bad the two by fours are burned cause they are structural or something like that. I will call Jay to see if he had Bob Trimble’s number at Christmas in April. Perhaps he will sell me building materials cheap.
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10:45 - I just came in to warm up. Despite wearing two pairs of socks my toes are frozen. The nice thing about being partly paralyzed on the right side is I can barely feel it but I have to be real careful on a ladder, make sure my foot is where I want it to be. I’m going slow, one step at a time, to be safe. It looks like I’ll have to take the whole chimney down. Is that what you call this? A chimney? Not sure but it’s not relevant because you know what I’m talking about. It’s hard to believe I put the whole thing up by myself. But looking it doesn’t seem like too good of a job. Oh well, I’m sure I was proud of it at the time.

I called Jay. He was in the hospital with his son, who was getting a colonoscopy. I’m sure they are glad I mentioned that. Hope it was a routine inspection like we all should have at this age and not something more serious. Jay gave me Bob’s number and let me know he is not allowed to sell material but would probably be glad to give us some.

Got a hold of Bob. He has some cement type of siding I can have but it’s twenty degrees and he wasn’t keen on going out to the metal shed and get it. Besides he has to leave soon so suggested I just put something up to cover the whole and get with him Monday when it warms up. I’ll probably do that but will still work on it as much as I can. Jay said he would call when they are done at the hospital and offered to come out and help. That’s appreciated but it’s freezing and he’s pretty old so I’m not too keen about putting him through that. It is a mark of his character that he is willing to do this in this weather. A good man for sure. We’ll be ok, just batten down the hatches like we did the first winter here with no heat till Amy got us the wood stove. I’ll work on getting the stove pipe removed and cut away the bad wood. Will leave the drywall in place to at least keep the wind from coming in too bad.

The toes are warming and I’ve consumed the cup of strong coffee Cherie prepared knowing it would be appreciated, so time to go back out.

Fire

1/16/08 Wednesday
It was a great day because I was able work all day and I love to be able to work. The temperatures are going down to about twenty degrees tonight so I laid the usual fire just the way I always do. As we watched American Idol I smelled something burning so looked in the backroom where the stove is. I could see the light flickering from fire burning outside. “The chimney is on fire” I yelled and grabbed whatever was handy, running outside with my boots untied. It wasn’t the chimney, it was the wall. I had unhooked all the hoses because it’s going to freeze so screwed one back on in the dark and turned it on. Then I sprayed water on the fire and was glad to see it went out fast but soaked everything real good just to make sure the fire wasn’t traveling inside the wall.

Cherie called Janie to pray during all this and then was going to call 9-1-1 but I told her not to because I got it. Besides it would play hell with our insurance. For one thing they don’t know we have the wood stove because it wasn’t here when they inspected. I went up in the attic to make sure there was no problem and it seems to be ok. I think the problem is because I used the old place my grandfather had put the chimney way back when. The device that is used to protect the wall from the heat of the chimney (Can’t think of what it’s called right now) is probably thirty years old. That is where the fire started. We’ve been using this since last winter and it gave us no problem.

All I can say is it could have been much worse. It could have happened while we were asleep. Or I might not have noticed till it was so bad I couldn’t put it out with a garden hose. The house could have burned down with everything we value in it. So many possibly worse scenarios but...we are blessed. Now we have a big problem. A big hole in the outside wall with much of the siding burned and the drywall inside is burned through. You can see through to the outside. We will break out the electric space heaters we used when we first moved in and put the blanket down over the doorway to keep in the heat. No more fire till all that gets fixed right.

Can't get comfortable

Click on this one to enlarge. Boy, you can see towers going up for miles

1/15/08 Tuesday
Man, I feel like crap. Woke up this way and couldn’t really put my finger on what exactly the problem is. I’m not slow in the traditional sense of that phrase for me, and I don’t have any of the pain that plagues specific areas such as the small of my back, I just feel lousy. There is a headache that has been with me all day and I did have a hard time answering questions when the lady from the Texas department of rehab called me. Plus I’ve been making wrong decisions regarding where to turn while I drive and thus took the long way to Steve and Janie’s. But my typing speed is up there and I can think clearly (at least I think I can) so it’s a conundrum. I suspect it might be due to the change in weather as this often affects me. My general pain is up there. I seem to be strangely weak though with my muscles tiring out quicker than usual. I don’t have a clue really. Tried to go online several times but Alltel is not being nice about it and I keep getting bumped off and then unable to get back on.

I haven’t gotten much done. Did make it to Janie’s and poop scooped. I’ll do some work on her garden tomorrow. Here at home there is no sense running the sprinklers because the wind is blowing so hard little will make it to the ground and then not where I want it to. I did move a load of wood inside in preparation for a cold night.

So I guess I’ll talk about yesterday. Going to the landfill is the only thing that sticks in my mind. I finally remembered to take the camera so I can get pictures of the wind turbines. You see the one I posted yesterday but I took a bunch more.

The landfill is for me a store I go shopping at. I never know what I will find but the price is always right. I picked up these two big PVC pipes that have been laying out there for weeks now. Not sure what I’ll do with them but figure they would make great structural supports for anything I want to build such as a greenhouse.



There was another roll of fencing I picked up. There are several more out there but I only had room for this one and it was a bear to get in the truck. I can use them for trellis’s in the garden. Will probably pick some up every time I go. Most of what I find is for the farm, things that will enhance what we plan to grow and do.




In that vein I found hundreds of these bags. They are new and the kind that are usually stitched closed on top. There were fifteen or twenty sacks of cotton seed in the pile these bags were in so they were probably for that. All I know is they will be perfect for packaging up things we grow so will come in handy.




What else? Oh yeah. I was going to buy some tires to put on the tiller so it wouldn’t sink in the ground as bad. Was thinking about the same kind of tires that are on the wheelbarrow and two wheeled dolly but saw these at the landfill. They were on a child’s electric car that had been thrown out. I took them off to see if I could make them fit on the tiller. It took some southern engineering but there they are. They work real good and are much wider than the tires I was going to pay money for so are better. How well they hold up only time will tell. The tiller is blowing oil bad but that is just how it is. I’ve done what I can so will nurse it along the best I can.

So that’s all I feel like writing now. It’s either too cold out or too warm in. The wind is howling. Hard to get comfortable. If I’m lucky I’ll be able to get online or stay online long enough to post this.

1/14/08 Monday
It’s been a busy day and there is much to write but I’m tired now. I do want to post this picture I took of the wind turbines while on the way to the landfill. This is the best of the lot.

Cherie's better.

1/13/08 Sunday
Well I missed Saturday. That’s because it was another good day and I stayed busy. Cherie is over the flu and spent most of yesterday sleeping and recovering her strength. This took a lot out of her. I think that the pendulum of my cognitive state has swung to the good side again. If so that will mean I can look forward to days or perhaps even weeks of being sharp and having few seizures. Like I’ve said before this seems to run in cycles. I wish I could predict what would happen when but if I could I would be a millionaire.

So yesterday? Uhmm…Hey, I might be sharp but the memory is still a struggle. I have two pictures that remind me of things. First, I found an old Kirby sweeper at the landfill. Oh it was a mess with a broken handle and all but I know Kirby and if the motor still worked it had a powerful suction. Yep, it works. So I hooked it up to the burn barrel, replacing the weak shop vac I had also found at the landfill. That sucker blasts and burns the entire barrel full of burnables in minutes.

I am the great white hunter. Got another rat. Yeah, I know, you don’t want to see a picture of a “Nasty” (to quote Janie) rat but this is a journal of farm life and out here these pack rats are a part of it. The suckers (probably this one) dragged off a bag of wildflower seeds we had paid something like twenty bucks for. It just disappeared but they’ve been getting into all my seeds so I’m sure that’s where it went. We will need to get a rat proof seed safe now that things are getting serious with this farm. Anyway the rat is toast now. Literally. He went in the burn barrel and actually was my motivation for firing it up because the puppies had a keen interest in this potential puppy treat.

I went to Janie’s and poop scooped. Was glad to do it. She was there with her friend, Pam, so we got to talk a few minutes. A friend of mine sent an email which included a comment about poop scooping. It was a good observation but got me to thinking. I will probably write a short thing about my thoughts, what it brought to mind, so providing I actually get to it (my track record of doing what I plan is poor) you can look forward to a Poop Scoop Essay. Oh Boy! Can’t wait. Now that I’ve committed it’ll probably happen.

Well it’s time to get ready for church. I’ve been running the sprinklers non stop for days. Whether it’s been a week or two I don’t remember but it’s been every day. There is some cold weather coming down the pike, with temperatures going in the teens, so I must cut and split some more firewood in preparation.

Two steps forward, one back

1/11/08 Friday
It is much harder to put something back together than take it apart. The tiller project is going slow and today I must take it apart to put on a piece I forgot about. Two steps forward and one step back. At least I got the motor put together. Won't know how good of a job I did till I try to start it.

I only had a small slowdown yesterday so that was good. Don and Cynthia dropped by on their way back from Lubbock, for a short visit. Cherie had just run into town so missed them by only a few minutes. They couldn’t stay long because they are picking up the grandkids who I think are spending the weekend. Cherie is not feeling well this morning. We are planning on going to Steve and Janie’s sometime today. It is Cherie’s regular day to do laundry and stuff there. She may not make it today. Janie was going to hire a company to pick up dog poop in the yard but I told them I would appreciate the job. They weren’t real sure about me doing it because of reliability issues but will give me a chance. Today will be my first day. We can always use the extra cash.

The metal halide light bulbs came in. Now I must hurry to figure out how and where to set up a seed starting operation. It’s time to do that for sure. There is so much work to do. I’m not real confident on getting it done. Hell, I still haven’t finished the Year in Pictures thing yet. I need to sift out the compost, start laying posts for the storage area, build a worm bin (not a high priority), map out what we will grow where, finish trying to find the water line from the well, tap into it and start running irrigation pipe, start building the six foot high vertical lattices for tomatoes (something I’ve studied online), do a concrete dirt mix for a floor in the old henhouse (that will give a solid base rats can’t burrow in), and lots of other stuff I can’t remember at the moment.

Speaking of rats, I finally got the sucker in the garage. Odds are there are more but at least there is one less now. I must get busy. Unfortunately I am getting the dizzy ears ringing feeling that tells me another slowdown is coming. Tough, I’ll work through it anyway, keeping focused on simple tasks. As long as I stay focused on one thing I’m fine. Otherwise I’ll wander from thing to thing lost and little will get done.

I had to change the password on my email because I’ve started receiving spam sent from myself. That tells me someone has accessed it or perhaps put a Trojan on my computer.

Been reading my past journal entries from before my grandmother passed and it is disturbing and sad. Will work past it but it brings up lots of stuff I need to deal with internally, or maybe externally. We’ll see.
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Cherie definitely has the flu. Being the loving couple we are, sharing everything, odds are I’ll be sick soon. Today I’m taking care of her and plan on cleaning the kitchen. I cooked gingerbread cookies last night because I saw the recipe on the molasses jar and it sounded good. They are. Just ran to the store and bought Cherie some popsicles.

So here’s the good news. I have a tiller!!! It works!!! Took a lot of pulling to get it going but once started it ran fine and restarts easily. It still blows some oil but I figure that will reduce when the new rings get seated. If it doesn’t I’ll just keep putting oil in it cause the sucker is going to get used whether it likes it or not. I still have to run to Steve and Janie’s to do the poop scooping. She called to warn me about parking in front because some low life shot the window of her car out. Probably punk kids. I don’t have room to talk considering my shenanigans as a teen. Things like stretching a rope across the road with a garbage can tied on each end. This was in Big Spring right where the air force guys sped off base when their shift ended. A car would catch the rope at speed and the two garbage cans would swing and collide violently behind it making a loud crash. It never hurt the cars but sure caused a fright. Didn’t do the garbage cans any good either. It was fun at the time but not the same as shooting windows out.
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You can see two of the fans we use to pull as much heat off this stove as possible. There's a third one that helps circulate it through the house.

Cherie’s pretty sick. Running a fever, running to the bathroom, and…well it’s the flu so no need to go into detail. Cherie wanted some ginger ale so I went back to the store and got some. Fetched her some saltines and poured a glass of ginger ale for her. Brought in firewood for the night. This will probably last two days as it’s only going down to thirty tonight and will be in the fifties tomorrow. After that things will get a little colder, in the mid to high twenties. We’ve got enough wood to last the week and there is always plenty dry and seasoned wood to be cut out of the mulberry as well as a couple truckloads of pecan at Chuck and Lillian’s.

Now that I have the tiller running I can start clearing and cleaning the garage to make room for other things I need to do. There is a lot as there always will be. Still need to finish the headboard recovered from the landfill. It’s covering about half the woodworking table so when it’s done that will free up more space. I still haven’t run the wiring in the garage. Last year I ran an underground cable from the house to replace the overhead wire that feeds electricity to the garage. That wire has insulation flaking off from years of exposure to this Texas sunlight but is all I have till I get the other hooked up. Just another thing I haven’t gotten to. Still running the garage on extension cords. There’s so much to do and I seem to do so little. It’s frustrating. But the tiller works!!!

I’m going out to the garage now. I’ll keep my cell phone so Cherie can call if she needs anything.

The good, the bad, the ugly

This morning's sunrise

1/10/08 Thursday
I didn’t write in the journal yesterday because it was a good day with no slowdowns. Consequently I worked, I pushed, and I didn’t stop long enough to write in this journal. When I did stop it was 8:30 and I was worn out. On top of that a headache came on quick, the only problem in the day, so instead of continuing to run the sprinkler I called it quits. I don’t think I made it to the ten o’clock news before I conked out. If I did I don’t remember.

The most notable thing from yesterday is I discovered Fred Reitz had died. A few days ago Cherie had found two pieces of paper as she cleaned and organized things. One had Fred’s phone number and address and the other a name, number, and the note “niece”. A few months ago I had tried to call Fred only to find his number was “No longer in service”. This had me worried as his health hasn’t been good. I suppose I should tell you who Fred is now that this is a public journal. First I must go back in the journal to refresh my memories. After all that’s what it’s here for.

Fred with a birthday cake we got him

Fred Reitz was the eighty seven year old man who lived in Cherie’s apartment building in Toledo. He was the first person I met there when Cherie let me move in. (This was after I asked her to remarry me by the way) The first entry I found for Fred was this one dated 5/4/04
Today I will help Fred, the old guy who lives downstairs with emphysema, by driving him around. We will get groceries for a female friend of his who is disabled and then get his new glasses. I enjoy helping people.

This was the start of the two years I would serve Fred, helping him with just about everything. I was his chauffer and his eyes, reading the mail he got and the labels of food at the grocery stores. Cherie and I enjoyed helping him and the friendship that developed. Oh Fred was a cantankerous old coot for sure. He had lived quite a life and told some fascinating stories such as when he would fix drinks and wait on mobsters during their poker games. Toledo has quite a history in that regard. Being right in between Chicago and Detroit there was a lot of traffic during prohibition. It is rumored that Sylvania, a suburb of Toledo, is a retirement community for old mobsters. I have been in houses that have secret tunnels going under roads to other houses and eaten in restaurants frequented by well known gangsters who’s names are nationally recognized.

Anyway, Fred was quite a guy. Through him I was able to find and help Barbara, another survivor of traumatic brain injury. Fred had promised her mother on her deathbed that he would take care of Barb. Many of the trips I drove Fred on were to her place where we delivered food and needs as well as taking care of various problems.

Barb

I’ve just spent an hour reading entries I made regarding Fred. Used the search engine to find them. What a lot of stuff there is. Fred was a major part of my life then and there is pretty much a mention of him every day. Fred let me use his car for my own needs after a few months so that was a big blessing. I became the taxi service for Barb as well. She needed lots of help and Fred was her benefactor so to speak. I was too through Fred and spent many hours helping her and also trying to protect her from the problems that come with public housing. I worry now about her and wonder how she is doing now that Fred is gone. I wish I could afford to drive up there for there are so many I helped and care about that I am unable to contact now. Plus it would just be good to visit my newly married son and meet his wife for the first time.

Going back and reading this journal reveals much that I of course had long since forgotten. I can see that I was in pretty bad shape then. But what is disturbing are the notes I made immediately after talking with my grandmother. There is no doubt that my short term memory loss and cognitive difficulties have not served me well in this and there are some who have taken advantage of it. Here is an entry dated 4/10/05

It is now 1:40 and I just got off the phone with Minnie Lee, Mee Maw If you will. (my grandmother) It is not good what she tells me. But I am uncertain if I can trust everything she tells me but at the same time I cannot afford being wrong in this. Lee tells me that Virginia is writing checks and signing or having Lee sign them. These checks are to Virginia’s brothers for things they are charging in Lee’s name. Lee has some of the checks Virginia tried to get her to sign. Larry had come down and got a copy of the key made to the farm house. He told her that her brand new washer and dryer were gone along with lots of other things. Virginias brother had come over drunk and abused Lee. Lee told more of that to Cherie

This one I wrote two days later. All of this spurred us to drive to Texas.

Virginia with my grandmother

Dear friends,
There is so much happening it has been hard to keep up with. Cherie and I are suddenly needing to go to Texas. When I talked to my grandmother Sunday what I heard chilled me. My grandmother, Minnie Lee, was put in an assisted living facility about 4 weeks ago. Her niece, Virginia, had been given power of attorney with my blessing to handle the many complicated issues involved when one nears the end of life. Minnie still has a sharp mind and questioned Virginia regarding some checks she had presented for signature. Virginia’s response was to throw the checks on the floor and leave. Minnie told me that Virginias brother came over drunk and talked dirty to her. What that means exactly I don’t know but it doesn’t sound good any way I look at it.
Minnie also told me that my brother had come down and made a copy of Minnie Lee’s key to the farm. He said he stayed at the house and there is much missing, such as the brand new dryer. The problem is he has been known to take advantage of situations like this before. I know enough not to prejudge any of this till I get there and see for myself but it is hard not too. We are going into a mess so would appreciate your prayers.

I’ll have to read what happened when we went to Texas later because I am busy working on this farm now. It’s another good day so I don’t want to waste any of this period of cognition. Hey, this might make two days in a row.

Still doing well

1/8/08 Tuesday
I am tired this morning but that’s to be expected. Was wide awake last night with thoughts such as what I am going to plant where running rampant through the hallways of my mind. Finally I got up and went online to study a method of growing I had found months ago. That was an exercise in frustration as everything on the several linked websites was a tease to buy books or a push to buy special fertilizers. As usual it’s all about money and of course I have little to waste. But even perusing the teases gave me information I can build on. The mention of using Epson salts and Borax to supply trace elements is intriguing. I will chase that down through Google. There was a drip feed irrigation method using PVC pipe I want to investigate as well. Basically this method is a marriage of hydroponics and conventional growing techniques.

I’m not as sharp as I was yesterday but not bad at all, running a seven on the bob scale, which I designate as average for me. Already have the water going but the wind has changed direction forcing me to adjust how I set it up. It’s coming out of the north and has a decided chill to it. I plan on getting much done today but must focus on finishing this Year in Pictures thing that should have been sent out for Christmas.

John Marshal emailed to let us know they published another one of my pictures in the paper. This is always flattering. I must wonder what I could do with a better camera shooting more than just sunrises and sunsets from the farm. I do think I have a good eye for this kind of thing. It’s part of the artist that is in me I suppose.

Enough writing. I need to focus on one task to get it done and avoid getting distracted for then nothing gets completed. So it’s going to be the Year in Pictures thing. That and moving the water every half hour when the alarm goes off. It takes a week to water three acres with one sprinkler so must keep on it.
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12:16 – I just called Wayne in Toledo. He’s doing ok all things considered. When you have primary progressive MS with only a steady, hopefully gradual, downhill slide to look forward to it’s hard to keep your attitude up but he’s doing well. Because MS is a disease of the brain his symptoms are very similar to mine, at least that is, some of them are. He experiences slowdowns just as I do. We talked for a bit but he was getting tired so cut it off. I’m glad I remembered to call.

I am slowing down now. This is a gradual one that started maybe an hour ago. I began to have problems sorting through pictures and deciding which ones I want to put on for March. That’s as far as I’ve made it on the Year in Pictures project. At first there were only going to me eight pictures for each month and I already picked them out. Then it was where to put them and what to write regarding each picture. I have to resize them to fit on the page and stuff. But now that I’ve figured how to work the collage program again (I forgot since the other day) I’m going back and picking out different pictures because I can fit more in. Besides I want to give an idea of what we’ve done and what’s been done. I am so tired now and getting confused. At least I had a good day yesterday.
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1:15 - The alarm went off for me to move the sprinkler. If it wasn’t for that I’d be zoned. Even when I went to put the last post on the blog I was dozing off while waiting for it to come up. I’m glad writing this reminded me to reset the alarm, otherwise I’d be gone and the water would probably run till Cherie gets home. I’m still real slow, down to a three on the bob scale.

Still going strong

It’s 2:00 and I’m still going strong though I am tired and this is the time I often take a short nap. Went to the landfill as I usually do on Mondays. Picked up a nice rope handled tub that will be great when we start harvesting crops. Also got some sheetmetal that is used for the sides of buildings and roofs. It is bits and pieces that I can cobble together for the shed I want to put on the backside of the garage. Talking with a guy who scraps out of the landfill he tells me he just picked up thirty whole pieces last week. Boy I sure could have used that but he sold it for scrap. Oh well.


Also got some chicken wire and a couple of pieces of wood when I went back a second time. There was half a telephone pole there. I don’t know how I managed to load it on top of the truck but I do know it hurt. This will be great for building the shed or who knows what else.

You can click on any of the pictures to enlarge them. That would help you see the towers in this one.

So I’m taking a break but will get back to it in about thirty minutes when the alarm goes off to remind me to move the sprinkler. I finally remembered to take some pictures of the wind turbines they are putting up. Every time I go to the landfill I forget the camera including this time so I went back and got the camera. The second picture is what we can see from the house. You can just make out the towers though they don’t have the propellers on yet. Believe it or not those are seven to ten miles away. There are about twenty in sight from our house. Won’t be long and they’ll be spinning away making electricity. That’ll be a sight.
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It’s been a great day. I’ve had no slowdowns at all, only a headache which started about ten minutes ago. Personally I’d rather suffer the pain of headaches than have these seizures. Pain I have learned to live with over the last seven years but being debilitated by having this brain go absent just pisses me off. I try to make light of it saying “I’m either the smartest dumb person or the dumbest smart person you will ever meet. It just depends on the moment you meet me”.

But I am grateful. I am grateful not just for life but for the wonder that my life has become. Cherie, the farm, our friends, and being free of the old life are all wonders to me. And I am grateful for every moment of clarity I have and even more for a full day of it. And I am always aware of how blessed I am despite the difficulties.

Ok, enough of that. I just don’t want to stop working. It’s 8:40 at night and I still have the water sprinkler going with my alarm sounding every half hour so I can go out and move it. I knew I’d be doing this after dark so went out and put stakes in the different locations I’d need to move it too. Sort of mapped it out so I can find it with my flashlight. It’s getting cold and late so when the alarm sounds next I’ll just turn the water off. The warm days and water are helping the rye come up. Some rain would be nice but there’s none in the forecast. I still haven’t finished putting together the Year in Pictures project so I think I’ll work on that now. These slowdowns have sure put me behind.

Off and running

1/7/08 Monday
I am off and running this morning. Running a strong 8 on the bob scale. Love it and hope it stays this way. I love to work and look forward to getting much done. Yesterday was another rough one with more than one seizure. Only one of them was a major one so that was good. I ended up having to lay down and as usual all my energy was sucked out of me so I slept for maybe three hours. It was about 4:30 that I cleared up and reenergized so I did get some stuff done. Till then it was mostly moving the sprinkler every half hour or so. I did get started on putting the tiller motor back together. That will be a challenge as I can’t remember taking it apart so must figure out what goes where. Nothing unusual with that, one of the normal challenges I face daily.

So I’ve been moving pretty good. Got the sprinkler going as soon as it was light enough to see. There was a mist covering the ground that I tried to capture with the camera but the camera can’t see what I do so the pictures don’t do it justice. Cherie is motivated too. She’s been working hard the last few days, really busting her butt cleaning and arranging this house. Plus she’s been cooking up some killer meals.

It’s always good to see her like this. She is so pretty when she smiles. Not that she isn’t other times but her smiles melt my heart. We were talking yesterday, during one of our reminiscent periods, about how we have now been married four years. Or at least it will be come our anniversary on June 20th. It seems like its only been just over a year. We were only married five years the first time so are looking forward to “Breaking our record”. Cherie laughed when I said that. I told her that I looked forward to making her laugh the rest of our life, and I really do. That’s the way to do it folks, laugh, love, enjoy life. It doesn’t get any better than that. Possessions and position matter little when there is love.

Don’t get me started now. I’m lucid and clear so could write a book right now when it comes to how blessed I am and we are. Four years and we still get teary eyed when we talk about the miracle of our reunion. I sometimes think of where I would be if I didn’t have Cherie in my life. She is it, the reason I desire to do so much, to be good, to do good, to live well. Otherwise I suspect I might just sit around drinking and smoking pot, not really giving a shit about anything. Existing and trying to make myself happy in empty ways. Maybe not but I’ll never have to know. Life is good and we are blessed.

If you could see what I see

1/6/08 Sunday
It was one of those mornings that I wished I had a camera with one of the lenses that allow you to capture a big horizon. "If sunrises had music it would be surround sound" was the way Cherie described it. The puppies woke me at five this morning wrestling around. When I got up a bit later I could see it would be a good sunrise despite of how early it was. In the past I have taken several pictures and tried to put them together to get this big West Texas horizon but it didn’t work. So here are a few. You can kind of get an idea what it was like.
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I’m glad I didn’t go to church. This has been a bad slowdown with a major headache to go with it. At least I’m getting the watering done. I just noticed that I forgot to water the grapevines I planted two or three weeks ago. Not good. They are watered now and hopefully I’ll remember to make that a regular routine, if they live that is. It’s noon and I am tired as I always am with a slowdown, so will lay down. Am using the alarm on my phone to remind me to change the sprinklers. Wish I had thought of this before as an alarm is a powerful tool to compensate for short term memory loss.

I remembered to tell Cherie about how there are occasions where things seem to be moving out of the corner of my eye. This is disturbing and I must wonder what it is a sign of. It is stationary objects like trees. I told Cherie to make a note and be sure to bring it up next time I see the doctor.



Yesterday wasn’t bad but I did have some slowdowns. Cherie has noted these seem to come in cycles where I go through a period of many seizures, sometimes several in one day. Then I might have a week or two that are real good. But I got some stuff done though not nearly what I wanted. Today it is to get almost to eighty degrees so I want to take advantage of that. I told Cherie I didn’t want to miss church because I didn’t want people to think bad of me but she said I need to stop doing that. “People miss church all the time for all kinds of reasons” she admonished. I suppose. But I will skip it today. There is so much to do. I’ve been running the sprinkler non stop for…I don’t remember but a week or two. It’s all in an attempt to get the rye grain up and healthy. There hasn’t been any rain for quite a while now. It will be interesting to see what the electric bill at the pump will be as come growing season I will be using lots of water. That’s why I want to drill another well and put in a windmill.

Crap. My right ear just started ringing loud and the left kind of went out. Not a good sign. It is sometimes a precursor of one type of seizure I get. I’m fairly sharp this morning so don’t want that at all. Like I ever do, duh. Now my fingers are having a hard time hitting the right keys. I’m gonna get outside now and get working with the hope this will be short or light, but at least I will get something done.

Any day I wake up

1/5/08 Saturday
I woke up with a headache. It’s not the best way to start a day but like I often say, any day I wake up is a good day. Dying and being in a coma helps you appreciate every moment even if it’s not too fun. As always I have a big list of things to do, mostly things that have been on the list and never gotten to. I would like to build the cold frames, finish putting the tiller together, and also finish the headboard I was rebuilding so I can clear the woodworking table. This will give me room to do the woodwork, hell it will just give me room. The shop has become quite a mess. Yesterday I managed to finish rebuilding the Lands End chair picked up from the landfill.
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It’s looking to be a great day. I’m sharp and energetic. I pray I will remain this way for much can be accomplished while in this state. Ran to Walmart to get the hose repair thingies but they didn’t have them put back up since all that was pulled for Christmas crap. I did get a pair of work gloves. The pair I got at Harbor Freight only lasted a few days before I wore a hole through a finger. Hope the Walmart ones last longer but being made in China there’s no guarantee. Not finding the parts at Walmart I ran to Ace Hardware where I knew I could find them. Now it’s time to get out and take advantage of what I call “prime time”, the periods of clarity and low pain. I’m know pain will come as I work but don’t really care. Will take the pills when it gets to bad to handle.

Gotta get farming

This morning's sunrise


1/4/08 Friday
I pretty much lost most of Wednesday. About the only thing that got done was running the sprinkler, and there wasn’t much of that either. Yesterday was much better. I can’t remember much but I know I got some things done. Cherie and I went to Midland where we visited with Don and Cynthia after picking up some hay they no longer needed. I was surprised by how much a bale of hay carries when it’s all uncompressed from the bale. Filled up the back of the truck. We talked about politics and Islam, which came up regarding Obama. I googled that later and got lots of different views saying he is and isn’t a Muslim. Who knows the truth on that. I was able to share some of what I’ve studied and heard on the Islamic faith. We talked about other stuff like developing a self sufficient farm where we produced our own electricity and biodiesel fuel, thus insulating ourselves somewhat from the uncertainties of this world. After that we went to Sam’s and Walfart to pick up some needs and Cherie’s prescription. That’s mostly what I can remember at the moment.

This morning I am conscious of our need to get motivated on this farm. Last night I visited one of my favorite blogs, Homesteading Neophyte. There I saw Phelan’s design for the seed starting apparatus they are building. Reading that and some of the plants they are starting for early planting made me realize I was already behind on that. The earlier I get stuff started the better it will do. Last year I failed miserably on some stuff by planting it too late. Lots of the seeds I put in the ground didn’t even come up because they were baked by the sun. I have PVC pipe, sunscreen netting from Eric, and other things I have gathered to create cold frames and things that will greatly enhance my production. Considering that this is the first year I will grow stuff to sell it is vitally important to get off my ass and get to work. I have a job, it’s this farm, so it’s time to start punching the clock and organizing my days. By organizing and scheduling tasks I can overcome this thing called a disability. It’s what was taught to me at the Brain Injury Institute in St. Louis so I need to put it into practice.

Phelan listed three sources for heirloom seeds that we will be ordering catalogs from. I will stick to heirloom seeds as much as possible because it fits my philosophy and will enable us to harvest seeds for the following year with some assurance of them being true to the original. Care must be taken to keep separate different varieties of the same type of vegetable such as tomatoes to prevent or at least reduce cross pollination.

One of the tasks I must do is map out what I’m going to put where on this five acres. Some of this will require study and perhaps advice from those of you who have the experience I don’t. With that thought in mind I talked to Cherie about starting a thread on the Homestead forum about building this farm. I’ve been a member for well over a year but haven’t participated much lately though I visit it daily. This will allow me to access a world of experience that can help guide us and hopefully avoid some major pitfalls. Because I have a hard time keeping up with things I will probably just put some of the blog entries on it to save time. So you’ll probably see blog entrees more geared to that stuff.

We ordered ninety Afghanistan pines for windbreak trees. They will be ready early March. One of the reasons I need to develop this map is to design the drip feed and subsurface irrigation system. Yesterday we stopped by the NRCS office to submit our CRP paperwork. There we learned they may have funds available for installing such an irrigation system. It is a co-pay program where we must match the funds. That will be hard to do with our budget, especially this first year, but we can probably do it little by little. They gave us the name of a local company (In West Texas anything within an hours drive is considered local) that specializes in this stuff. We plan on visiting to nail down the cost and just learn. This will be one of the most vital investments we will be making in this farm. Water is the key to life in farming, especially out here in the West Texas desert. Eventually we want to dig a well and put up a windmill on the house side of the property. The other well is a half mile away on the far corner.

Looking at the one catalog we have I can see lots of the things we plan on growing. There will be a big emphasis on berries at this farm. Blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, huckleberries, boysenberries, strawberries, and many others. For the most part these are perennial plants that will last years before needing replacement. However they are thus more expensive and will be beyond our financial ability to get. Blueberry bushes run about eleven bucks each as do many of the others. Some of the berries grow on trees that are twelve to twenty feet tall. These are all long term investments that will pay off big in the future. Many of them won’t produce fruit till the second or third year.

Lots to do and must catch up on what I didn’t get to during the slowdowns I had Wednesday. Cherie tells me I’ve had several bad days regarding the seizures so that all puts me behind. I’m doing great now so must move to take advantage of that. Plus it’s going to be warm the next few days. Gotta go.
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Just had a thought. We have had several who have donated using the PayPal button on the right. If any of you wish to help us build this farm by getting bushes or fruit trees you can specify what kind you want and we will label it as donated by you. If you don't want it labeled that's fine. Everything on this farm will be clearly identified anyway so I can keep up because I won't be able to remember for the most part.
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It’s 2:00 and I am having a major slowdown. Dropped me to a two on the bob scale. If I was driving I would pull over to be safe. It has a headache with it. Am laying down with curtains closed. Took aspirin.
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I cleared up by 4:30 but had a couple of minor episodes. Cherie cooked a fantastic dinner and made banana pudding from scratch. There was a great sunset.

Another clear day

1/2/08 Wednesday
It’s another beautiful clear day, though there are a few high clouds out. It didn’t get as cold as predicted as it’s twenty two degrees out. Perhaps it got into the teens last night, I don’t know and don’t really care cause we were cozy warm with the wood stove well stocked. The pecan wood works great putting out lots of heat. It leaves bigger coals underneath the ashes so that means I just have to rake them up and stack wood on top. I packed it too good last night I suppose cause the side started to glow a little. It wasn’t much and you could only notice it when the lights were turned off. Don’t worry about it folks as everything is installed on the high side of safety with a stone floor on top of a concrete panel designed for bathroom tile work. Plus it’s all a good distance from the wall with a UL listed steel lined insulated panel on the wall. Eventually I want to get a good airtight wood burner that will get more heat out of less wood and burn slower. Plus it would reduce any exhaust gases that may be creeping in from the present stove.

It’s going to be a busy day, I think. I can never be sure because I can’t rely on my level of lucidity. But there is lots I plan on getting done. Cherie and I were discussing how she needs to get more specific on scheduling tasks we both need to do. I told her that just writing down a task and saying “we need to do that sometime today” doesn’t work for either of us. It needs to be scheduled as in “Do ----- at 8:00 AM”. My list of unfinished tasks is ever growing. This is frustrating for me, especially knowing how much I used to handle way back before the accident. Another thing Cherie needs to do is review the calendar to see what I didn’t get to because of a slowdown or whatever, and reschedule it. Come spring things are going to get real busy with the farm so this will be much more important then.

The first thing I want to get on today is finishing up the “Year in Pictures” thing I had wanted to do to send out Christmas. At least I figured out how to do it using the collage software I have. I used it to do a similar thing last year but had to relearn how to work the software again as I must relearn anything I haven’t done in a while. The short term memory has improved over the years but is still a problem, always will be the doctors say. I watched an issue of NCIS, one of my favorite shows, last night. Cherie told me it’s a repeat we have seen several times. It was all new to me, don’t remember a thing. That’s a cool part of short term memory loss.
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I’m having another slowdown (petite seizure) right now. It’s one of the ones that comes on fast, dropped me from a seven to a three on the bob scale in a matter of minutes. So I’m laying back down. The puppies are laying down with me. They are tired out from their morning run. I went out and checked on the rye. It’s hard to tell how the freezes are affecting it when I can’t remember what it looked like yesterday. If I had been able to plant it in September like I should have it would be a foot tall now. Maybe next season I’ll be able to get it out.

Nut’s. The puppies are all settled down and Rascal is sleeping next to me. The little sucker just farted. Odiferous little dog. These seizures always drain me so I will probably fall asleep if this puppy doesn’t knock me out or drive me out of the room. Eeeww, another one. I think I’ll have to put him in the other room. Yeah, I know, too much information but this is my journal where I record all the momentous events whether good or bad and this is getting to the momentous level. What did we feed this dog??? That’s it!!! Another one, “GO TO YOUR ROOM RASCAL”.
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11:44 – I’m still feeling pretty rough and have a headache on top of it all but after laying down and drifting in and out for about an hour am making myself get up. There’s things that need doing no matter how I feel. At some point I want to get some stuff done that Steve and Janie asked me to do around their house. Been meaning to do it for a week but it never worked out. I think I’ll take some more aspirin and get moving.

It's a new year.

This morning's sunrise. May your year be as bright and clear.


1/1/08 Tuesday
It’s a cold crisp cloudless first morning of 2008. Sixteen degrees out but stayed nice and warm in due to the woodstove. The pecan wood I got from Chuck and Lillian’s burns well, putting out a lot of heat and lasting a fair amount of time. It’s not as good as the mulberry but beats out the elm by far. I got up at 2:00 and 4:30 to put more wood in. Beats me why but I always seem to wake up just when it’s needed. Splitting all this wood hurt quite a bit so I had to take several pain pills yesterday and one again this morning. Despite that I enjoy swinging the splitting maul and getting this job done.

When we went to Steve and Janie’s I noticed that someone got into the firewood they have stacked behind the house. Don’t know if it was stolen or they had given permission for someone to take it. If it was stolen I want to catch whoever did it. Don’t like the idea of someone messing around my friend’s house at all.

I walked the dogs one at a time again. There is no way I can do them both at once but one at a time they are manageable, especially Zoie. Zack is the same as always but when Zoie doesn’t have Zack around she is much more interested in investigating the world around her. When Cherie and I walked them both together Zoie constantly strained at the leash choking herself.

After that we decided to go out and eat. My check came a day early because of the holiday so we could do our once a month eat a nice dinner out thing. Cherie’s job ended yesterday so it’s back to being really tight with the funds. We never stopped being frugal but were able to enjoy a few more things than usual. It helped us buy Christmas gifts too. I know she only worked one week a month but that helped a lot.

We went to the Cotton Patch, which has become one of the places we choose often. Walking in a cute short waitress “claimed” us, telling the hostess she wanted to us at one of her tables and rushed to clean it off. It’s flattering I guess to think that we look like good people to wait on. I only shave once or twice a week and was still wearing the clothes I had loaded and split the wood in so beats me. Come to find out she had only been working there four days so was probably just being enthusiastic and wanting to take on as many customers as she could. After all, when you probably make more on tips than your hourly wage your pay is directly tied to how many you serve.

Like I said she’s a cute little thing but was real insecure about doing a good job and not making mistakes. When she told us her name was Britney I said “I think I can remember that”. “I hope it’s not for something I did wrong” was her reply. I reassured her that is was just because it was easy to remember due to a certain “famous” lady who is in the news a lot. Perhaps the term “lady” isn’t appropriate for the person I’m alluding to. Anyway we had a good time. “Now that we know you’re new we’re going to make you run” I teased her. It was fun to watch her try hard to do a good job and she did do a good job. We got her to relax some and there was lots of laughter. I am often awkward in social interactions with people new to me but was in good form so that wasn’t an issue. Both Cherie and I liked Britney a lot and will probably ask for her when we return. I gave her a good tip and also the address to this blog telling her I would be writing about this. Plus I said she could keep up with what’s growing so her and her husband can know when certain crops are available. That’s part of the marketing I’m starting to do in preparation for this first year of selling what we grow.


It's good to get along. Carman Kitty and Trixie relaxed together.


So that’s how yesterday ended. We bought a bottle of cheap Champaign to celebrate the new year, but never opened it. I had two glasses of wine with the rib eye I ordered and that’s it for my lightweight self. Long gone are the days of serious drinking and I am so glad to be rid of them. Alcoholism is an insidious thing that disguises itself as a harmless part of social behavior but over the years grows into a cancer that slowly destroys. The victims seldom even know, or refuse to acknowledge that they have a problem. It’s when you drink alone, it’s when you hide and disguise it, it’s when having a good time often requires a drink or three that the alcohol is taking over your life and will. Denial is another big sign. “I don’t have a problem. I just have too much fun” my brother said when I tried to talk to him about his alcoholism. That’s denial and rationalization in one statement. My Baptist friends won’t agree but I don’t think having a glass of wine or a beer with your meal is a bad thing but one has to always be careful when playing with fire. As in all things in life balance and control is the key. I used to have a problem with pain medication, becoming addicted to the Oxycontin prescribed for broken ribs, and had refused to accept the prescriptions doctors offered after the coma for fear of its return. But now am able to function because of the relief medication brings and am careful to keep it under control. But that’s medication. When you need a drink to function you have a problem.

Ok, I’m starting off the year preaching. Go figure. But that’s me. Like it says on the plaque I carved after the accident, “Love life, live a life you can love. Become a person you can be proud of. All things can teach wisdom, if you look for it. Money and things can vanish in a flash. What has real lasting value is the lives we touch. I have told Wally and many others that even though it’s been bad the things I’ve seen and experienced in my life gives me the insight and ability to help others. My life is a gift that I will do as much good with as I can. You know, if you see someone drowning and don't throw out a life preserver you carry some responsibility for their death.

Happy New Year folks. Love life and live a life you can love.