Tuesday, September 12, 2006

I'm back (Kinda)

9/12/06 Monday
It is 11:00 now. I just got back from Cherie’s work where someone she works with gave us about twenty new boxes. I was just dozing off when she called so it was good to get motivated and moving. I am not doing real good, running about a five on the Bob scale.

On the way home I stopped at the truck shop I found the trailer hitch at to see if they have the eye bolts I need for the trailer chains. They don’t but suggested Tractor Supply on Central Ave.

I’ve got a headache but don’t think it’s a brain injury one. Probably hay fever or something cause I’ve been sneezing allot lately. I looked at the trailer a bit when I came home but it is doing a constant drizzle out so I came in and fixed breakfast. I’m gonna take some aspirin for the headache and wait for Cherie to come home for lunch. Haven’t touched the blog but am not really motivated at all. Haven’t done allot of things. Need to finish up with Denise’s computer, need to get back on the business plan, need to see friends before we leave town. What I really need to do is smack myself upside the head and get moving.

I can’t work on the trailer right now because we ran out of money. I have had Cherie keep a close monitor of the money because there is much that needs to be bought to complete restoring the trailer. I want to get it done as fast as I can but I can’t seem to do much of anything fast. I’ve formulated a plan of what I’d like to do but will have to rethink it again when I start back on it. One of the things I know I will do is paint the trailer in a red white and blue flag theme. It would be easy to do.

Despite it raining outside I think I will go out and do some minor work on the trailer. Things like securing the wiring better and putting in a few rivets and stuff. Maybe I should take some of the cardboard and small boxes and organize the tool compartment in the truck. It’s getting kind of crowded with the tools and things I’ve bought for this trailer.

For me it is a significant mile marker to have tools. I used to have everything I wanted in an eight thousand square foot shop in back of my warehouse, then came the time I carried everything I owned in a plastic garbage bag slung over my shoulder. Now, on this wondrous restoration of life, I am able to have tools. I know it sounds strange but for me just having tools and something to do with them restores a sense of manhood.

You have to understand that much of that sense I lost from the accident. First I wake up in the hospital unable to even roll over so nurses would bath me and change my diaper. Kinda hard on the manhood thing. Then my brother takes me to St Louise and I find myself totally dependent in others for food, shelter, and clothing. Also hard on the “I’M A MAN” concept.

Next step is getting extradited back to Toledo and dumped on the street by the courts that didn’t know what to do with me. As I wandered the streets searching for who I was I again depended on the help of others to make it through. With the stress of being on the street my damaged brain basically was unable to understand what was going on around me.

Then I was on television as Toledo’s John Doe and that all began to change. Cherie and I got back together and it has been absolutely amazing since then. What a ride so far and we are just starting. It is good to be able to sit at this laptop and write again. Helps me think things out a little. Time to post this and go out into the rain.
(Running a 7 on the Bob scale)

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