Friday, September 15, 2006

Should be a good day cause I'm due.

Mushrooms. These show up once every year.9/15/06 Friday

Let’s see, what else did I do yesterday? The MS lunch was well put together as always. The nurse who travels several states to advise on MS issues was there again. There were several new people at this luncheon. We got there early so were the first and the room was empty. After a while we finally had company, a woman in her late forties came in. I could see the wear and stress on her face as she looked at the empty room and wondered if she came to the right place. “This is it. We’re the MS group” I said. We struck up a conversation. Wayne is anxious to let her know he has MS so the conversation started with his announcing “I have MS” to her.

Her husband has MS but won’t go to a support group. He’s one of those proud types that doesn’t want pity and “I Can do it myself”. She asked about it getting steadily worse and Wayne started a dialog of all the bad things that can happen, describing in detail Denise’s tremors. I had to reach over and tap on Wayne’s hand to get his attention as I saw a look of despair beginning to come on the poor lady’s face. He looked at me and, holding up my hand in a slow down gesture so the lady couldn’t see it, I whispered “Shhh. Tone it down ok”. He didn’t quite get it and continued his litany. Finally I said “Wayne” and he figured it out and stopped.

Several people asked when we were leaving and if they would see me again before then. I told them the odds were slim so one of them gave me a hug telling me they’ll miss me. It is nice to be missed and that is something I am not used to. There were so many that not only weren’t comfortable around me but rejected Cherie and I. Here at the MS luncheon that is noticeably different. Everyone here has a disability or helps others who do. That and the fact that many of the symptoms of traumatic brain injury are identical to those of MS as their disease deteriorates their brains. The difference is I am getting better as my brain rewires it’s self and they are in a decline. That’s a big difference. I have things to look forward to, a bright future. For those with MS or similar ailments it is hard, or at least scary, to even think about the future. Doing so is dangerous as it feeds the depressions that steal any joy from life.

Anyway it is good to be accepted and missed. One of the things that was touching about this group is how well they understand disabilities. One of the new guests is deaf and I loved how she interacted with others. They all know I can never remember any of their names so made sure to tell me their’s. I think the lady who did that and hugged me is named Cindy but I’m not sure. It started with a C.

Wayne could see that I was getting tired and probably was himself so suggested we go. That worked. I took him home. He had wanted to go cash his check and pick up a few groceries but I begged off and said I could do it tomorrow. (Good thing I wrote this cause otherwise I would have never remembered that. Gotta call Wayne now)

What else? Ok, I went to Home Depot and bought stuff for painting the trailer and then worked on that. Spent $68.00 which pretty much drained the bank account leaving maybe ten bucks. I put some stuff back to bring it down to that. (Good thing Cherie gets paid today.

Then I went to Allen’s. He hemmed and hawed but I made him get out the paper work from Family Services. Allen puts off taking care of these things and is afraid of doctors. To a great extent that is due to an intestinal problem that will require examination and perhaps surgery. I preached again to him the importance of following through on this so he could get medical help. Then I called his caseworker at family services. She returned his call and I told Allen to explain that he couldn’t afford a doctor so had no medical records to verify his condition and ask her advice. He had wanted to lie to her and say he never got the letter but I stopped that.

I got out of there and home by 5:00. Don’t remember the rest of yesterday right now so let’s get on today.

It is 9:12 and I am up and writing. It is good to have these times of lucidity though there have been fewer of them lately. I am sure that is because of the added stress that comes with our move to Texas in four weeks. I plan on getting busy quickly, which of course is a good idea because the brain is working. First I’ll shop for groceries. Probably ought to fix some breakfast but we’re out of eggs. Suppose I’ll hit McD’s on the way to the store. Got to make sure I eat. Cherie gets upset when I don’t but I do the best I can. Hey, I seldom feel hunger and forget quickly. I’ll think of fixing food and get distracted so the thought is gone.

After groceries I plan on working on the trailer. Oops, I still haven’t called Wayne. Perhaps I should pick him up and take care of him while I get my shopping done. Kill two birds with one stone. I think there is something else I should do today but can’t think of it now. Perhaps later. Just need to focus on one thing at a time so things get done.

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