Got to get better

9/1/06 Friday
It’s got to get better. Cherie is looking forward to this three day weekend. She plans to spend allot of time packing things for our move to Texas. I plan on starting out this morning looking for the lost stuff I wrote for the business plan. I am sure they are somewhere in this computer but have no idea where I may have filed it. This is another old problem. I have gone through my folders and found things all over the place, some done three times as I forgot I had already done it so did it again.

I don’t know if it’s because I have so much on my plate I am unable to sort it out or what, just know I haven’t done what I need to do.

I’ve spent the last hour going through the confusion in this laptop. I suppose it is a good illustration of what goes on in this brain, of my day to day life. There are dozens of files and folders that are repeated and the same file can be found in three or four places. I am going through them one by one, examining them to see if they contain the same information and if so deleting the ones that are superfluous. If I am up to it I will attempt to reorganize everything so as to make it easier to find what I need.

I got showered and whipped up some scrambled eggs. Not real speedy mostly because of trying to sort my files as well as my thoughts. Still have lots to do with the files and still am looking for the lost farm stuff. I think I’ll try loading up on coffee again and hope the stomach can handle it.
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9:47 – Damn it. That thick head dizzy thing is coming on. It’s getting old, no it’s been old for a long time. I keep trying to tell myself that despite this I am lucky to be alive and blessed beyond measure with Cherie as my wife but it doesn’t make this any better. Hard to keep my spirits up at times like this. I read back in this journal and see times of great hope and positive outlooks. It’s allot better to maintain that attitude but hard. Most of the people I am around are those I help with their problems. Sure it helps me keep things in perspective and understand I could be in much worse shape but overall it does little to keep me positive. Being around misery and despair you pick some of it up. It would be good for me to be around positive people. Tried to find them in the church but they rejected Cherie and I, a swift kick in the butt as they demonstrated the “Love of Jesus”. Pretty much did me in for the social club they call "church".
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Did it again. Went online to post this last paragraph. Checked my E mail and sent a short note to Cherie and forgot. This is a daily occurrence. Now I’ll go back online and try again. If I go straight to the blog it should happen, if I look at anything else such as a notification I’ve got mail I may repeat this again.
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I got some food shopping done. Came home just as Cherie was heading back to work from her lunch. We talked a bit in the parking lot. She is so beautiful to me and lightens my heart. I’ve been working on the trailer. Might be slow but beating out bolts with a hammer and chisel works well for me. I don’t have to think and can just concentrate on what I’m doing. Pulled the sheet metal off the sides of the trailer. This will allow me to get at the rusty frame and look at the possibility of mounting the sheet metal higher to enclose the trailer. We’ve gotta do something so our stuff won’t get wet during the 2000 mile drive to Texas.
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Here's some pictures of the trailer. Got the side door to open. The wiring is rough. There were three splices within a foot and a half and they were just twisted together, coming apart as I removed the electric tape that they must have used a whole roll of.


I took the remnants of the rusted steel floor out of the front storage area of the trailer. One had been placed on top of the first cause it was rusting out.


The sheet metal I took off the sides is three feet wide. That is incidentally the width of the area we need to enclose. I think I will just put it on and figure out something for the rusted out sides.


Here is today’s sunset. Cherie and I had to go out and see it. We haven’t done as much of that as when we first got together. We missed most of it but this was cool