Life comes from death

4/21/10 Wednesday
It’s 9:45 am and I just came in from digging post holes. The pain level is high but that’s expected and nothing unusual when I’m out working. It’s time to take one of the pain pills that I both hate and appreciate at the same time. I’d prefer not needing them and dislike the idea of taking a drug that can be addicting, especially because there was a time in my life that drugs were a problem. But they allow me to keep going, making the pain tolerable, so I am careful about it.

As I worked I once again contemplated the relationship between death and life. Back in the day I wore a T shirt that said “Death is certain, Life is not”. It was one of my favorite shirts that showed a giant grim reaper with dozens of agonized souls in it’s bony hand. At that time this was a central part of my philosophy but that sure has changed now. Yes it’s true that death is certain but there are now some truths I live by that reduce the uncertainties of life.
Here's a wildflower Cherie found growing on our CRP acres and had me transplant to the front yard. Don't know what it's called but they look good. There's some purple daisies she wants me to transplant as well but I haven't gotten to them yet.

Now I say “There is no life without death”. “Oh! That’s morbid” some might think when they hear this but it’s a truth that reaches into many aspects of life. Think about it, everything you eat was at one time alive and it’s through it’s death you receive nutrition and thus life. As I regarded the blessings of our life, the miracle of Cherie and I being restored and building a life on this farm, I realized that even this came through death. The farm is our inheritance and became available when my grandmother died. Even the tractor and many of the tools and supplies I have this year are a result of my father’s death and the inheritance I received. Actually that inheritance was from his mother that he had held onto for forty years and I only got once dad died.

But more importantly, my life came through my death. Sure, in the Christian theology there is a death to self and your old life that is required, a spiritual death so to speak, but in my case there was a literal, physical death. (I’m still listed as a fatality by the State of Oklahoma on the accident report) When I woke from the coma it was as if I was a child again. I had to have my diapers changed and was spoon fed what could only be described as baby food. Then they taught me how to talk and how to walk. At the time the prognosis was that I would be a vegetable the rest of my life. It was a long road from there to where I am now, but what a wonderful journey that’s been, despite the hardships that would stop some in their path. Through this death and subsequent restoration of life I was able to see what I had been blind to prior to the wreck. I saw the waste of life I was practicing, the worthlessness of drinking, using drugs, women, and partying all the time.
The car I died in. Actually I was flung out of it according to the accident report.
Oh I had money and drove a fantastic car, I had my companies and the prestige that went with that, but I didn’t have life, not like I do now. These days things are tight, my truck only has two gears that work and doesn’t look pretty, and…well I could list all the things that aren’t perfect but that’s not the point. It’s not what I don’t have but what I do that’s important. You see, I believe I’m one of the richest people in the world for I have what money can’t buy. I have my wife, my first and now third wife through the miracle of the circumstances following being raised from the dead. I know that sounds overly dramatic but the fact is I was declared dead at the scene, life flight was called off, I was covered up and loaded in the ambulance for transport to the coroner, and came back to life.

I have eternal life through God, who loves me so much He sent His son to die in my place. So through His death I have not just life but eternal life in heaven with Him. But it’s important to note that I have a better life here on earth through Jesus, that by living and practicing the moral principles found in the bible I can avoid many of the pitfalls that would ensnare me and drag me back into the living death I once practiced. So I strive to give life now, give the gift I’ve been given to others so that they too can be free of the chains that bind them, the habits and practices that bring death, not life.

There is no life without death, and through death you can find life.

It’s time to get back to work. The medication has taken effect and sitting in this chair for an hour has allowed the pain to subside. This evening Ron Charles arrives and Cherie and I are so looking forward to picking him up at the airport. Be blessed y’all. I know that some of my friends and readers don’t share my faith in God and hope you are not offended by my openness. Please understand that I am not offended or judgmental of you and that through the life I’ve lived and things experienced comprehend many other belief (or lack of belief) systems. I’ve seen others who tried to cram their religion down your throat and know the uncomfortable feelings that brings up so have no desire to be seen that way. I just love life, the gift of life I’ve been granted, and share that with you.