Snow

12/5/11 Monday
It’s a rare thing out here. I’m talking about snow, or any kind of moisture for that matter. We had rain two days ago and over three inches of snow last night. We went to the widow’s house yesterday afternoon, where I did a variety of chores and installed the insulating cups we bought for her outside water faucets. But mostly Geneva craved the company, someone to talk with and share the things going on in her life. It was good for Cherie too as she had someone to share with other than me. We all sat together after I got done with the various chores and talked about God and spiritual things. But knowing it would freeze last night I called it an evening and said we had to go. So we prayed together, as we always do when we visit, and I hurried home.

The urgency was because I knew I needed to insure the work I had done with the booster pump was protected from freezing. One good freeze and all that work would be erased with broken plastic pipes spewing water all over the place. We found an old electric space heater that I put in the pit we dug, then I covered it over with old pieces of plywood and a tarp. Held the tarp down with a bunch of cinder blocks to insure it didn’t go anywhere.

That evidently worked because we had running water this morning. I went out to take pictures and also to see if the old rotted pieces of plywood held up to the weight of the snow. It all seems to still be in place. Today I will focus more time on fixing that up. Eventually I plan on building a cinderblock building to cover and protect all of that but for now I must devise a better temporary solution. There are some serious cold days coming, like tomorrow, when it gets down to 20 degrees or so. That little space heater will send our electric bill up there and things are tight as it is.

I hope to find some work driving a truck. Am studying for the written part of the CDL exam but I need to find a semi to use for the driving part of the test. Meantime there is plenty to do here. I have windows to calk now that I found two new tubes of caulk I’d forgotten I had purchased. And I still need to tile the bathroom but that is a major project that will require the removal of the toilet while I tile that area, along with the bathroom sink.

I must go brush off and warm up Cherie’s truck so will be back.

That took a while. Brought back memories of living in Michigan and Ohio. I like the snow, but I don’t. It’s beautiful and not convenient at all. There were some 4000 reports of power outages in the area, mostly caused by the weight of snow breaking branches of trees that fell on power lines. Plus there are reports of car wrecks this morning. Most of the schools are closed today as this area is not equipped for snow. The weather report says that the snow will turn to rain later in the day. That will be a mess. I sure wish I had a way to collect all this moisture for the dry times to come.

No water this morning

Last nights sunset

12/4/11 Sunday
Sunday morning. It’s chilly and we don’t have any water. I will fill up a bucket from the plastic children’s pool outside, that we always leave full for the dogs to drink out of, so we can use it to flush the toilet. As soon as I am done writing this I will return to working on the booster pump. I think I will take Cherie’s hair dryer out with me because the glues may be temperature sensitive. Perhaps that’s why it blew apart last night, for it was definitely getting cold. Plus, in my haste to be done, I didn’t wait as long as I should have to let the glue set. And there is the possibility that I forgot to put glue on the joint that came apart.

We listened to Charles Stanley this morning. For now our church is on television. We don’t have the money to drive into town more than necessary so visiting the churches in Midland will be put off till things get better. It’s sad we have found such a judgmental spirit at the church in Stanton. From what I hear this is not an uncommon problem in many churches here in America. How our Lord’s heart must break as His commandment to love your neighbor as yourself is ignored every time it becomes inconvenient. But it’s not a new problem, has been around as long as man. It was the religious leaders, the preachers, teachers, and pastors, if you will, who, in their arrogance and self-righteous assurance they were pleasing God, persecuted and conspired to kill Jesus. After Jesus was crucified the persecution was next focused on all those who believed in and followed Jesus. One of the greatest persecutors, Saul, was confident he was doing the work of God as he traveled finding Christians, putting them in jail, and watching in approval as others stoned them to death. But he had an encounter with Jesus on the road to Damascus, and understanding his error repented and became one of the greatest proponents of Jesus that ever lived, changing his name to Paul.

So you, who think poorly of your fellow brother or sister in Christ, gather hope from this. For God is always there to forgive you of this grave sin and help you change your mind as soon as you understand how evil it is to despise those whom God loves.

I've got a well to fix so must resist the urge to do a short bible study or devotional. Bye now.
=========================================================================
Here is the finished booster pump arrangements. The pipes seem to be holding now but there are several small pinhole leaks. I suspect they are due to the glue not working well in the cold weather. The red plastic coffee container I used to provide some protection for the power plug. We can't afford to buy a regular waterproof electrical socket so do the best we can with what we have. When weather gets warm and budget allows I will probably redo the entire thing, re-gluing all those joints. Everything you see is subject to freezing, and that will be a major problem. I plan on building a shed around it with the cinder blocks I recovered from an old hotel that was torn down. Now I wish I had gotten more of those bricks for they all got hauled away. So I will learn a new skill, having never done any brickwork before. But till then I guess I'll have to cover this all with blankets and hope it doesn't freeze and break the pipes. If we had the money I would buy the pipe heating stuff I saw at Lowes that allows you to wrap the pipes and plug it in to keep them from freezing. Maybe a small space heater and some plywood over the top would work for now.

Looked at the whole booster pump array in the daylight. Could only find one area where the joint gave way. It does not appear that I forgot to put glue on the joint but if I did it wasn’t a whole lot. I got Cherie’s hair dryer and heated everything up the best I could in 36 degrees and glued it back together. This time I heated it after gluing for fifteen or so minutes to do my best to insure it held. Read the instructions again just to make sure and it says to leave the joint set for two hours to allow the glue to set, and longer if it’s under 60 degrees outside. I didn’t let it set last night in my haste and tiredness so that’s probably the problem. Will see at 11:30 when I run down to the well and turn it on.

The internet says our high today will only be in the 40’s so I started a fire. Tomorrow the real cold hits with a low down in the 20’s. We dug the electric blanket out for the dogs but Duke and Buddy don’t sleep near each other. Duke sleeps in the garage and Buddy stays out on the veranda. I think I will clean out the insulated dog house I made for Gretchen and Ben a year or two ago, when Gretchen had her puppies. How I miss those dogs. The hurt is still there, along with wondering who shot them and why. Was it random or something personal from someone who is busy with the hate that consumes so many. I don’t know but still pray for them, and continually forgive every time it rises up in my mind again.

Christmas is coming. This is one of my least favorite times of the year as the insanity and fervor for what has become a false holiday increases. It has become the one time of year many businesses depend on for survival as the battle to buy presents rages on. There is nothing wrong with giving gifts but now, if you don’t, you are looked on as a scrooge. So many these days expect to receive and get angry if they don’t. Depression and suicide are at an all time high during this season as many struggle to deal with all the pressures that our society and culture have forced on us. At the root of it is greed. There is corporate greed as businesses strive to strip us of as much money as possible, competing with each other for every dollar we have been so carefully instructed to spend. Then there is the greed we breed into our children as the day after Christmas it becomes a “What did you get” contest.

Lost in this mix is the tale that this is the day that Jesus was born. The fact that the early church, under Constantine and his mixing of pagan beliefs with Christianity, chose this day to replace several existing pagan holidays that revolved around the shortest day of the year is lost on most. The fact is no one knows for sure what day Jesus was born, but historical evidence points more to in the fall than Christmas, based on when the census was that forced Joseph and Mary to travel to Bethlehem and the Jewish feasts. There is strong evidence that Jesus was born during the feast of Passover which would place the time somewhere in the middle of April. Personally I think it not bad to pick a day to celebrate the birth of the son of God, that it is good to recognize and celebrate His birth regardless of what day it was. But the Christmas tree and giving of gifts are directly related to the religion that came out of Babylon when Nimrod’s mother, who was also his wife, instituted that practice. Like it or not this is historical fact.

So I will celebrate the birth of Jesus, every day. And not just His birth but His death and resurrection too. For it is in this that I have a hope of eternal life. I explained this to the young man in Jail. We have all heard (or most of us) the scripture found in John, 3:16 16 “For God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life”. I spent a lot of time with the young man explaining what it really means to believe. Lots of people believe, or say they believe, in God, but do you really believe that you will stand before God and be judged for what you do? To truly believe means you understand God is God and Lord and thus you submit to His authority, obeying what He says to do. Most people are not willing to surrender what they want, to make a sacrifice of personal pleasure, to obey God. Instead they try to put God in a box that allows them to do what they want without fear but in the end God is God and we will have to answer. Do you really believe? I know I get preachy but I hold an answer to many peoples problems, an answer I have learned is real and works, I know how to live forever and enjoy God's blessings here in this life as well. When you have a life saver in your hands and are watching someone drown to not throw them the life saver and even try to save them is a crime. And God will hold us accountable for that for sure.

Not as good as I used to be

12/3/11 Saturday
I focused on finishing up the well today. It was a greater struggle than I expected. I thought I had all the pieces of PVC cut and trial fitted so that when it came time to turn off the well so I could cut into the pipes things would go smoothly. Such was the hope but that was shattered by a strong dose of reality.

I hate reminders that I am not as smart as I used to be and today those reminders were slapping me in the face. I’ve come a long way since I woke from that coma but still face some difficulties. I looked at a piece of pipe as I prepared to glue it in place and wondered why I had cut it so long. So I cut it shorter and glued it in place. It was maybe twenty minutes later I realized it had been cut correctly. I confused the intake with the outtake parts of the pump and that was just a start. Five hours later I am finding joints I forgot to glue and came up with some creative ways to compensate for mistakes I made earlier.

It’s dark now so I got flashlights out so I can see what I am doing. My pain level is way up there from crawling in and out of the pit I dug in addition to carrying the pump itself to the garage five or six times to modify the mounts in order to make the pipes line up. Finally I think I am done so have Cherie come out and keep an eye on it while I drove the half mile to the well and turn it on. Unfortunately my phone had run out of juice unbeknownst to me earlier in the day so she couldn’t’ call like I had asked.

Coming back to the house I discover there were just a few small leaks from poor glue jobs but I figured I could live with that for now and would fix that later. But then a pipe let loose. Nuts. So I rushed back to the well and turned it off. Coming home I find Cherie screaming at Buddy and Duke, who were viciously fighting. I tore them apart. It’s not the first time they have gotten into it. In fact they had fought just the day before and I got bit when I reached in with my hand to pull them apart. Not good. Looks like we will have to find another home for Buddy. He is absolutely the friendliest dog I have ever known, but he doesn’t get along with other dogs well.

I am beat. Worked on the well all day long. But tonight we have no water at all. While we did have the booster pump running I had Cherie turn on the water in the bathroom. It was a little better but still just a trickle coming out of the shower. This tells me that the new pipes installed are plugged up. Probably with the shredded plastic I have found in the filters of the farm irrigation system along with salt and hard water deposits. It looks like I must replace the pipes in the new bathroom already. What was installed are small diameter flexible hose things that screw into place. The new fixtures were set up to use those or to use conventional copper or PVC pipe and the plumber our friends hired to do the job opted for the easier flexible pipe stuff. I don’t think it would have mattered as that shredded plastic would have lodged where the valves and stuff are. Oh well.

Cold blew in

12/2/11 Friday
I finally got the concrete slab poured. Took three loads with this concrete mixer I bought a few years back, knowing I would have many uses for it on this farm. I’ve used it to mix seeds, soils, fertilizers, but this is the first time I used it for concrete. I have a poor eye for volumes so was surprised at how small an amount of concrete it made after it was poured out onto the ground. I took the pump and set in on the wet concrete to make marks where the bolts that hold it down go. Then I pushed the bolts into the wet concrete. I hope that the bolts are in the right place when the concrete dries.

Cold weather blew in hard last night. Got the woodburner going and because the high for today will only be 40 degrees will keep it burning all day long. There is moisture outside. Not rain so much as a drizzle. I hope to finish the booster pump today. Had a bad slow down last night. Don’t remember having many of those lately but Cherie reminded me that I have had a few. She reminded me I need to take a bath too. I take great consolation in learning that Albert Einstein and Steve Jobs of Apple fame also had to be reminded to bath. I simply don’t think about it and don’t remember when I last took a bath. If I took one yesterday I won’t remember. I don’t remember to eat and if I do don’t remember that either. When it comes to taking my medication that can be an issue. If I don’t remember taking my pain pill so take another one it can be dangerous. To combat that I make notes of when I take a pill or tell Cherie when she is home.

It will be a cold work day, but that’s what coats are for.
===========================================================================
Hard to believe it is already noon. Certainly cold out. Just came in to warm my hands and put a few more logs on the fire. Step by slow step I am progressing on the booster pump. The bolts I placed in the wet concrete were close but not quite close enough so I spent an hour using a chain saw file to alter the holes in the pump base so it would fit. As usual I lacked the proper tools so had to do the best I could with what I have. So the pump is in place. Next I will piece together all the PVC pipe fittings needed to insure I have everything cut to the proper size and ready to glue together. That requires putting the one way valve first, then running pipe to the pump intake. The one way valve will prevent water from flowing backwards. Then I must connect the pumps outtake to the pipe that leads to the house and also out to the farm irrigation system. That will require some manipulation. Also I need to hook up the 55 gallon pressure tank to that same pipe. Plus I need to hook up the electrical wiring to the breaker box. Part of that task requires me to nail the wiring I ran onto the rafters and wall of the garage for it’s all just hanging loose right now.
=========================================================================
I went to the jail to visit the young man who made the decision to become a follower of Jesus. He was glad to see me for sure. I talked to him of the seriousness of the decision he made and read the parable of the sower so that he could hear what Jesus said regarding those who hear the words about God’s love. When I said something about how people talk about others he started crying for there is no question that there is lots of talk about him. I explained what the Love of God is and isn’t, going through first Corinthians 13 to make clear the importance of the motives behind what you do. It says that even if you give all your possessions to the poor but do not have Love it means nothing. There are many we know who mouth the words but who’s actions reveal the truth of what they believe. It’s a simple basic fact that if you reject someone, refuse to talk with them, and instead talk about them to turn others against them, you don’t love them. And when you do that but then say you are a Christian and love everyone you are a liar and total hypocrite.

The young man asked me if I had a church. I told him that he was my church, that the true church isn’t buildings but consists of the people who love God and are practicing the truths He gave us through the bible. I said “My church is in prisons and jails, it is where ever I go. Anyone I touch and share the things of God with is my church”. And so it is and has always been. The Kingdom of God that Jesus spoke of is not a place, nor can it ever be. It is a spiritual condition, an attitude of the soul, a unity of hearts bound together by the Love of God that spans generations and is not constrained by time or physical borders. The Kingdom of God has always been, but we have gained entrance to it through our faith in Jesus and because He has revealed the keys to us. I told the young man that I may start a bible study here in Stanton soon and the church would be there as well.

We prayed, he thanked me for coming. I am tired now. Didn’t get the booster pump all the way installed yer but am close. Hopefully that will get completed tomorrow before we go visit the widow and help her winterize her home.

The first day of December

There are storms coming, storms that will rock the world and cause many's hearts to fail them for fear

12/1/11 Thursday
First day in December, the last month of the year. Time moves so fast but plans and dreams seem to still move at slow motion. I’m desperately working on the booster pump for the well project, making lots of mistakes because I don’t really know what I am doing and there is no one I feel comfortable seeking advice from. I’ve asked some for help but when I do it seems that they become distant. One enthusiastically told me he would come out to the farm and look around, even offered to bring equipment to help dig out the well from the wall of sand that has overtaken it. I saw him a few times since and tried to gently remind him, but still got positive “I’ll be out there” words but no actions at all. If asking for help estranges friends then I won’t ask for help.

There are some who have been wonderful in their assistance but I know that can get strained. I don’t want to be the person always asking for help. It is such an awkward position to be in. But then I must wrestle with the truths of our faith I believe in. The bible is pretty clear regarding these things, that we who believe, the family of God, are to look out for our brothers and sisters, and always be not just ready but anxious to help, to show that true love which is illustrated by actions, not words. As a preacher of the good news of God, and a teacher who has the responsibility to encourage others to follow the truths of the bible I find myself torn. For I know that some will not willingly receive a message that they are falling short, and will resent what they will interpret as a judgmental attitude. Then there is the concern that my words would be seen as an attempt to manipulate others for my personal gain, and thus find my reputation damaged. I’m not sure what my “reputation” is in many circles as it is, but I know that in some there has been plenty of talk and gossip and in those arenas I am not well thought of.

I cannot let that bother me. However I know that what others think of me reflects on my Lord Jesus Christ and for His sake I will be concerned. So I will live my life to please God and try to walk with care concerning my words and actions. We have seen so much hypocrisy it astounds us, and have also seen how that keeps others from coming to God. For the rest of the world sees it too, and rejects God because of it. It is the core value that seems to be missing or compromised. What value is that? Love. “Oh we love!!!” I can hear some protesting but the reality of their actions reveals the truth. What you really believe is shown by what you do, and true love compels action, not just talk. I am so tired of empty words, of those who talk but not much more. Love is patient, Love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast. Love is not proud, it is not rude. True love doesn’t seek selfish desires but puts the needs of others before personal wants. Real love is not easily angered but keeps no record of wrongs done. Of course it doesn’t delight in evil, in putting down those who have made mistakes. Love rejoices in the truth. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes for good to come, and perseveres in the face of adversity and doubt. Jesus only gave two commandments. Love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength is the first. The second is harder. That is to love your neighbor as yourself.

When you see someone close to you, a family member such as your mother, brother, or wife, in need of help what do you do? Most of us will take time out of our day, sacrifice that which is most valuable, our time, and do whatever it takes to resolve that issue. That is most of us. These days I see the bible prophesy, that in the last days the love of many will grow cold, coming true in so many ways. Love has become a thing of convenience for so many, and an empty concept with no teeth for others. How we remember our former friends, who would always make a point of ending a visit with the words “You know we love you guys”, but who proved themselves liars and hypocrites later. Because I do love them and have great concern for their well-being, I pray for them constantly, for they will answer to God, as we all must. I so want that final time of judgment for them to be one with no faults found. But they seem blind to the truth and have placed God into the box they want Him to fit in, a box that allows them to practice the fleshly pleasures they enjoy without fear of any accountability.

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. (1 Corinthians 13)

If the church, those who are believers in and followers of Jesus Christ and the only true God, who created the universe and gives life, would practice this true love, it would change the world. Part of this love requires us to make others more important than ourselves, and demands humility along with sacrifice. There is no room for judgment here, for looking down at others and thinking you are better than them. That in itself is a sin, and a bad one. If someone is trapped in problems, whatever they may be, love requires us to work to help them get better, to throw them a life raft so to speak, to lift them up and not tear them down. This is what our God longs to see in us, for this is how the kingdom of God will grow. God so loved us He sent His only son to die for us, so that we may live and not die, so that we may be set free from all that enslaved us. And Jesus said that we are to follow His example. This is the core, the foundation and bedrock of our faith, the first love that so many have left behind as they pursue religion and the accolades of others around them, and in the process forget that they too were brought out of the mud and washed clean by God, because of His love.

I will mix up some more concrete this morning and try to get it right this time. What I did yesterday didn’t turn out the way I wanted so I hope to do better this time. Then comes the plumbing part. That’s where it gets scary for me because once I cut those pipes coming from the well I must get it right. If I don’t we have no water for the house or anywhere else.

There is much else on my list of things to do but on top of that is visiting the jail. I helped lead a young man there to make the commitment to accept Jesus as his Lord and savior so with that comes a great responsibility. Jesus said we are to go out and make disciples of others, not just to “Get them saved” as so many preaches seem to think. The world is filled with people who “Got saved”, or who had an emotional experience brought on by skillful oratory coupled with music and other psychological pressures to make a “decision”, but were then left alone as the preachers proudly made more notches in their records so they could brag about what great things they had done. This is so wrong. I need to spend some time with this young man, to teach him the things of God so that he can understand what he has done as well as comprehend what lays ahead for him. Oh, I’ve got things to do, but nothing more important than a life hanging in the balance, so I must choose correctly.

the journey to Toledo and back

I realized that in the fuss of catching up after we made it home I had failed to post the journal entry regarding what happened in Toledo. This is by no means complete, for I'm sure you don't want to read a book and some things that happened we will keep to ourselves. Read here then the joys and sadness we found when we went back to where we are from.

11/2/11 Wednesday
Wednesday morning in Toledo Ohio. There is much to write and I haven’t because we are busy here and because I don’t want to publish on the internet the fact that no one is at home back in Texas. But I do need to keep a journal of what we do here. This morning Cherie and I are going to meet Suzie, the daughter of Eileen, my former secretary who died three years ago under suspicious circumstances. We do our best to keep up with Suzie and others of Eileen’s family and help when we can. Right now Suzie’s husband/boyfriend is in prison but should be released in a month. He was sent to prison for punching the father of Suzie’s son’s girlfriend and possibly breaking his jaw. Stupid stuff to go to prison for and because Calvin has an extensive criminal history there was no mercy from the court.

So many of the people I know, or knew, back in Toledo are trapped in lifestyles of their choosing. Perhaps it would be wrong to say they chose the lives they live for most of them were raised in that type of life, that world of drugs, crime, and a different set of moral principle, which is foreign to many of us.
========
11/13/11 Sunday
We are finally home. Arrived at about 5 yesterday afternoon. What a trip this has been, a trip filled with sadness and joy, good things and bad. This promises to be a long post so I will start at the beginning. This journey became possible when I sold the big diesel service truck we had purchased about 3 years ago at auction in Michigan. I paid $3,000 for the truck then, bought it in order to bring the John Deere tractor we also bought at auction back to Texas. We sold the truck for $6900, much less than the nine thousand dollar listed value but there were bills to pay. Besides the truck was pretty rusty and they are not used to rust here in Texas.

We had been trying to sell the truck for over a year with little success but I leave much of that in the hands of the Lord and trust His timing for such things. The timing was right. Cherie had been increasingly homesick, caring for and missing her family that lived so far away. I have been needing to fix my truck as the transmission had finally gone so we were down to one vehicle and knew I could get a used transmission for a cheap price up in Ohio. Besides that the truck was more than worn out, with windows that no longer rolled up and down and the air conditioner had not worked for over a year. It has nearly a quarter million miles on it, the motor still runs well, but it’s about done and needed to be replaced. What I knew was that I could find deals at auctions up in the Midwest so now that we had some cash after paying bills this seemed like an ideal time to get a new used truck.

Cherie was checking prices of airline tickets and ran into a deal where we both could fly to Columbus, where her sister lives, for only $370.00. When she told me about that price my response was “You’d better book them now”. She did and the next day that price was gone so it was a good thing. The timing on the tickets would play things close in regard to our attending the 4 day Kairos prison ministry event in Fort Stockton but I figured we could be back with time to spare. That part didn’t work out as planned, nor did several other aspects of the trip but all in all we were blessed.

So we made plans, called relatives, made reservations, and booked a rental car for the week we planned on being there. With any such ventures there are concerns, fears, and trepidations to be allayed and dealt with. We let the sheriff know we would be gone so they could keep an eye on the house. One of the concerns was our pets. It is so sad that we had no one local we could rely on, or even ask, to check on things. What a disgrace and shame it is that we attended a church for a year and yet there is no one there we dared to ask for such a favor. The hallmark of our faith, the core principle of Christianity is Love, love for God and love for each other, yet we found rejection instead. Gossip and judgment instead of acceptance and building each other up in the faith, pitching in to help one another. How Jesus must be hanging His head as He watches those who proudly do such things, confident in their self-righteousness as they do the opposite of what He desires.

With money tight and always budget conscious we decided to board Rascal and Trixie in a kennel and put out a load of food for the outside dogs, Buddy and Duke. We also put out a ton of food for the cats and kept the water dripping in a little plastic pitcher left in the bathroom sink. It all should be enough for the eight days we figured we would be gone. Unfortunately that turned out to be fifteen days, but at least it wasn’t a disaster. It just brings out the sadness regarding the coldness and distance we found so close to home. May God have mercy on them for they seem to be totally unaware of their hypocrisy. I have to wonder, do some of these people really believe in God? Because if you REALLY believed you would know He knows your inner thoughts and what you say behind closed doors. But I realize that the god many believe in is the one they have in a little box, one that lets them do what they want with no fear of repercussions. This is nothing new, people have been molding god to the image they want for all of time, refusing to be clay in the Masters hand, pliable and able to be molded into what He desires.

The flight to Ohio took four flights and ten hours to get to Columbus. Such is the price of cheap tickets. We flew light, having no desire to check our bags so it was just enough to carry our bags with us. First flight was Midland to Dallas and that one was running late by about a half hour. Arriving at Dallas we rushed to get to the next plane on the list. It too was late so we weren’t in bad shape. Next stop was Houston. There was a young man on board the Midland to Dallas flight who was from San Diego. He had come to Midland to work in the oil fields, as so many are doing during these tough financial times. Poor kid had never flown and was filled with fear, noticeable to me despite his attempts to hide it. “First time flying?” I asked, desiring to give him some reassurance. He said “yes” so I explained that statistically flying was safer than driving a car and said I had flown many times. Not sure that helped so I told him, after noticing him holding the cross he wore around his neck, that God would take care of us.

Houston was a bit traumatic. Plane was late landing, had to wait for a spot to park, and we got off fifteen minutes after our connecting flight was supposed to have left. It’s panic time. We run to the first bank of screens showing what flights where were and when they were supposed to leave, and our plane is not showing up anywhere. I rush to a Southwest flight desk and ask the lady “Where is our flight?”. She tells me to get to the back of the line just as I hear “Robert and Cherie Westbrook, please report to gate 40 for your flight”. “Where’s gate 40?” I ask the lady behind the counter, who really doesn’t care and ignores me. Someone else points so Cherie and I run that direction, pulling our bags behind us, thankful they are on wheels.

We make it to gate 40, huffing and puffing because neither one of us is in great shape. There is no one there, the door is closed and locked, and I see a plane with the walkway still attached sitting out on the tarmac. Now I’m in URGENT mode so I stroll out to the middle of the concourse and YELL “Can anyone help us? That’s our plane and the door is locked!”. There is a stunned silence as no one moves, seemingly shocked that anyone would yell in an airport. One lady across the way moves forward and says “Once the door is locked that’s it.” I strode quickly to her counter, because at least she recognized our existence, and just as we got there we heard our names once again on the intercom. This time they tell us to go to a different gate, and that our flight is waiting for us. More huffing and puffing as we scramble to get there. We are officially the last people to board the plane. Evidently someone had announced the wrong gate before.

The stewardess asked a young man to move to a different seat so that Cherie and I could sit together. That was thoughtful of her. Gratefully we sat down and prepared to take off. It took a bit for me to settle down, and some time for Cherie too but we did and realized that they had held up the flight in order for us to get there. Now we are off to St Louise, where we will catch our last flight, that will take us to Columbus. In Columbus Cherie’s youngest sister will pick us up and we get to spend the night at their house.

There was a sweet little old lady in the window seat where Cherie and I were seated. She talked with Cherie for much of the flight, sharing about what was going on in her life. When we were arriving at Columbus I asked if I could pray for her and a relative who has brain cancer, and she gratefully said “yes”. There are times when I feel a need to pray for people and situations and this was one of them. She gave Cherie a book she had just read, dug it out of a bag filled with books.

We were so happy to finally make it to Ohio, and grateful to find Connie, Cherie’s sister, waiting for us when we got off the plane. It was hugs and greetings time and then a trip through the maze that Columbus airport has turned into, in order to find Connie’s car. Connie got us to her home as quick as she could. We were greeted by her husband and son, who has grown dramatically since the last time we saw him. There was the visiting that comes with long absences of course but I was beat and retired early, letting Connie and Cherie catch up as they cooked stuff.

The next day we all left for Toledo, for it had been decided that this was a good time for all the family to get together and have a thanksgiving dinner early. A room was rented at an area hotel so that there was room for everyone. After checking into our hotel room we went to where the dinner was to be held. There was greetings, hugs, tears, and all the other things that go with long absences between family members. Food and people were hustled in, hasty arrangements for how it was to be distributed, and then we sat down to eat. There was lots of catching up to do of course. Much of the families knowledge of our life came from this blog and occasional phone conversations so there were lots of holes to fill in.

It was a good time and we are grateful we were able to get there. We were both glad to make it back to our hotel room, where we settled down and began to plan the busy days ahead of us. Part of those plans involve me finding and visiting old friends and those whom I try to help the best I can. I tried to visit the parents of my old Vietnam veteran friend, Bernie, who died of cancer last year. Unfortunately they had moved into an assisted living center in Michigan and I was unable to find the address before we had to head back to Texas.

Other friends I found, and with them saw again the depression and loss that comes with drugs and a life without God. It broke my heart to watch the 16 year old daughter of one proudly announce she was pregnant as she smoked pot. I felt helpless to help as this is the world she grew up in. Her grandmother, father and pretty much entire family all were and are habitual drug users or alcoholics. It made me grateful I had left that world behind and those things no longer had a hold on my life, but at the same time there is great sadness knowing these lives are so lost. And a sense of responsibility, knowing that I hold a key that can set them free. My other friend has pretty much lost his life, to the painful injuries he sustained from several events, and to the drugs that help his pain but also became an addiction. For him it is a trap with no easy answers. On top of that are multiple traumatic brain injuries, undiagnosed but obvious to me because of personal experience and consequential studies I’ve done. Again I feel powerless to help, a frustrating thing. There are so many lives we see, lives trapped by the consequences of decisions made long ago and locked into a path that leads to pain and despair. But there is nothing we can say, for if we say anything it would be perceived as an attack or put down. So all we can do is pray and hope, all the while knowing that without change there are hard consequences ahead for them. Bleak futures reaped from bad seeds sown long ago. There is hope and life available through faith in Jesus, but so many won’t accept that.

I went to the first auction in Michigan, and was disappointed at what I saw. Prices were much higher than I had seen in auctions 3 years ago, but I wasn’t worried, there were other auctions to come. I learned from my nephew and sister in law that one of the online auctions I had enrolled in was not ethical at all, with all kinds of hidden fees and tricks being used, so I threw that out the window.

After we had been there a week there was still no truck to be bought and time was getting short. We had planned to be on the road Monday in order to get back to Texas in time for the Kairos prison ministry so pressure was on. The last big auction was in Illinois, almost at the Wisconsin border. Nate and I hopped in his big car carrier, the kind that has a deck that rolls back and angles to the ground so you can pull a vehicle up with the winch, and made the seven and a half hour drive to the auction.

Here I was confident I could find one, and maybe even two, trucks. If the prices were right I would get one for personal use and another to bring back to Texas and sell. With something like 300 vehicles in the auction I figured it would be no problem. They had them lined up with newer years first and older models at the end of the line. The first trucks were smaller Ford rangers. I wanted a full size pick up so didn’t bid despite the prices being attractive. I figured that as the auction proceeded to older more beat up trucks the prices would come down, but I was in for a surprise. I guess a lot of others at the auction had the same idea for as the auction progressed the prices kept getting higher and higher. In hindsight there were many good deals I could have gotten but was hanging on for a steal that didn’t happen. In the end we got nothing and had a long drive back empty handed. It was a long drive because we had left at two in the morning to make it there, so were definitely tired. I am grateful to my nephew for his sacrifice to help us out.

Now we are under the gun. We had bought one way tickets so had no way home except by driving the truck we came to buy, and there was no truck. The whole time we were there Cherie would hit Craigslist online and I had called about many of the trucks we found there. One of the better looking ones was also an older one. It was a 1994 Chevy 2500 diesel with only 190,000 miles on it. He had it listed at $3400 dollars but when I called he dropped the price to $1600 because they had bills to pay. This truck was 130 miles away in Indiana but for that price I told him I would make the drive. We did and it was a nice truck, other than the rust that plagues everything up north, where the salt the roads heavily to fight snow and ice. It had belonged to his grandfather and the interior was in great shape.

Sold. We now have a way home and I now have a truck that runs. I had hoped to get a rebuilt or used transmission for my other truck, so that we could sell it, but that didn’t work out. The friend of Nate, who rebuilds transmissions for a living, said he could ship one to us, but I don’t think I would bet the farm on that. He’s a great guy who has improved his life in many ways since we saw him last, but in the busy day to day struggle of life in Toledo best intentions often get placed aside. If it happens we will be blessed, and pleasantly surprised, but I suspect that the red truck will stay up on jack stands for a while, waiting for the parts or me to have the finances needed to fix it.

It’s time to say goodbye and hit the road. There were some last minute repairs on the new/used truck that had to be made. I detected a knocking sound that we determined to be the vacuum pump. Should that go it would cause the serpentine belt that drives everything to go too so had to be replaced. There were other things I wanted to check, like brakes, but no time and money getting short so didn’t.

Getting out of Toledo always seems hard. Last minute problems abound, people to say goodbye to have to be found, but we finally made it out. It was late but I was determined to hit the road and at least get out of Toledo. We had extended out hotel stay three times already and were checked out. We didn’t make it out of Ohio, got as far as just the other side of Dayton, but were glad to get that far.

Things were uneventful till we got to Missouri. I was pressing as far as I could each day, driving until tiredness got bad and then pulling into a hotel. We would sleep fitfully in uncomfortable beds till 4:00 or 5:00 in the morning and hit the road again. Had almost made it to Joplin Missouri, where we were going to stop for the night, when it happened. BAM!!! I heard and felt an impact. It was maybe nine at night, long dark, and lots of traffic on the road. I’m wide awake now for sure. Pulling to the side of the road I get out carefully in the heavy traffic to look and see what happened. Didn’t really see anything and all the tires looked good so, worried about the traffic and safety I got back in the truck and headed for the first exit, where I could more carefully examine the truck.

I had just noticed a sign that said if there was an emergency to dial a two digit number and then the pound sign so as soon as I found a place to park I did so. Cherie had seen a flash of white just before the impact but I had seen nothing at all so I wasn’t sure what to report, just that we had hit something, and it was big. We had lost count of the dead deer we saw on the road long before this so I knew that was a possibility. The operator got our location and said a trooper would be dispatched.

I got out and looked at the truck. We had bought a set of tools for the trip home but didn’t think to get a flashlight. Sure would have been nice now. There was some damage to the driver’s side lights, with the turn signal light fixture just hanging by the wires. But the real damage was the whole drivers side of the truck. That was caved in from behind the door to just before the rear wheel. My nice new/used truck wasn’t as pretty as it was, but it really wasn’t pretty to start with due to the big rust holes in the body.

As we waited for the trooper we heard sirens and saw fire trucks and ambulances heading down the other side of the highway, back the way we came. Soon the state trooper showed up. He wasn’t happy we had driven to the next exit, said it was leaving the scene of an accident. The truck had no plates on it at all because Indiana law states one has the right to drive without plates for thirty days after the purchase of a vehicle and when we went to Ohio’s bureau of motor vehicles to get temporary transfer tags they refused because the truck was bought out of state. This raised the troopers eyebrows but he understood and had run into the mess caused by so many states having different laws. We didn’t have proof of insurance because when Cherie called our insurance agent their computer was down, so we had insurance coverage but were unable to get a copy printed fifteen hundred miles away. The officer was nice about that. Technically he said he was supposed to write a citation for that but wouldn’t. I expressed our gratitude. He got our information and had to go because there were wrecks at the mile marker we had our problem at. Later he called and told us it was a deer, probably the same one we hit, that had caused the other accidents. Evidently our impact didn’t kill it and it wandered dazed to the other side of the interstate, where other vehicles finished it off.

All in all we were blessed. “How is that a blessing?” you might ask. We were inches away from hitting that deer head on and it could easily have come through our windshield, so I will look at it that way. It could have been much worse, and others did get hurt along with suffering much worse damage, so I choose to believe that God protected us and look at the good side of it.

We stopped at the first decent looking cheap hotel we saw and gratefully crashed. Woke up long before the sun and got going again. When it got daylight I pulled over to see the damage to the truck for the first time in the light. It actually didn’t look as bad in the light as it did at night, but still was a pretty big dent. Fortunately we could open the door to the fuel tank and had room to screw open the cap.

So we filled up with diesel and checked the fuel mileage again. There has been a disappointing steady reduction in how many miles the new/used truck gets. The day we bought it that truck got 21 miles per gallon of fuel. We filled up every 300 miles and each time it was less till the last tank, which was only 14 miles per gallon. I hope to figure out why and also hope the solution isn’t expensive.

What am I thankful for???

I carved this in St Louise, while recovering from being dead

11/26/11 Saturday
Thanksgiving is over. When I visited the guys in the local jail, they asked what I was going to do for thanksgiving. “Nothing” I told them and seeing their stunned response explained “All of my wife’s family lives far away. I am not close with any of my family and none of them live close either”. I told them that it was just me and my wife for holidays and that we are thankful for every day we have. There were some new people in the jail so I shared again the miracle of my life, how I had lived a life fraught with drugs and crime, had died in the accident, and how God, in His love, had restored my mind, faith, marriage, and life. I explained that I now know there is a real and living God, who loves not only me but all of them too. At the end I asked what they would like prayer for. I prayed for their families and for one of them that he would find favor with the judge. I didn’t talk of the disappointments we had experienced with the church people who lived close, to whom we had reached out to, hoping for fellowship and to share the love of Christ with, for that would not help build them up. Instead it would reinforce the feeling so many outside of the churches have regarding the hypocrisy of those who call themselves religious, but only have an outward show with no inner true care, concern, or love. They are springs without water, vines without fruit, empty and in danger of facing a fearful judgment when they stand before the living God, who will call us all to account for what we did and did not do while here on the earth.

What am I thankful for? I watched the ABC special on Gabriel Gifford, the senator from Arizona who had been shot in the head. They showed early clips of her rehabilitation, as they taught her to talk, nod her head, and all the basics of life. This brought me back to that hospital in Oklahoma where I woke from the coma. On a strictly medical basis my injuries exceeded Senator Gifford’s. I didn’t suffer a bullet tearing through my brain, instead my brain was torn to shreds through violent impact. That type of injury damages the entire brain, tearing billions of connections throughout that precious organ that enables us to live, breath, and think. In me a focus of the damage was on the frontal lobes, a kind of self-induced accidental lobotomy. Fully ten percent of my brain no longer exists at all and they discovered that I had incurred a stroke at an earlier time of my life along with evidence of multiple brain injuries that date back to childhood.

I watched as Gabriel Gifford struggled with basic tasks, and as she broke down crying in frustration, and remembered well my tears and even screams while still in the hospital. She has the benefit of the best medical help available and the most valuable healing tool, the love of her husband and close family, as well as a nation. It is a marked contrast to what I had. Her coma was medically induced to allow her body to cope with the trauma, my coma was not induced, in fact they doubted I would ever wake up, much less live. I had no insurance, had signed a divorce the day I left town running from the law, and there was no close family there at all, just my brother, who chose not to understand what I had endured or needed.

In essence I was thrown out by the hospital and barely tolerated by my brother, evidently an inconvenience he wasn’t pleased to be saddled with. But to his credit, he did more than anyone else, I’ll give him that. Through the help of social agencies, that I was put into contact with after wandering to a hospital desperate for help for the intense pain and confusion I was experiencing, I was enrolled at the Brain Injury Institute in St. Louise. There I was finally given some basic tools on how to live and function, but I was suddenly extradited back to Toledo, where there were warrants out because I had fled the state.

It didn’t take the judge long to figure out I was a mess, and would be expensive to keep, so I was placed on probation and kicked out to the streets. There I wandered lost and confused, homeless and not remembering much of my past, just bits and pieces like a giant jigsaw puzzle. The Veterans Administration put me in their homeless program and provided some basic medical attention, but seemed anxious not recognize I had incurred a brain injury or was disabled in any way.

But look at me now. Ten years later I can carry on a conversation and function well in society. There are still some issues with my memory and it appears that my ability to socially connect with others is hampered, but I suspect that is as much their fault as it is mine. There are many we get along great with, but always a few who seem to choose to judge and look down their noses rather than love and accept. The saddest part of that is they so proudly wear the “Christian” label and are apparently unaware of just how far from that mark they fall. We pray for them every day.

So life isn’t easy but I am incredibly blessed. I have a roof over my head, I have the first love of my life back and our marriage miraculously restored. My mind functions well, and despite being partially paralyzed and suffering serious pain my body does too. But most importantly, my faith has been restored. So now I have a hope for eternal life, a future forever to look forward to, a goal to aim for of standing before the living God and being found pleasing in His sight. With that is a realization of how far I have to go to achieve that goal, an understanding of my faults and inadequacies, but also knowing that my God loves me and is merciful, extending grace that helps me overcome these faults.

So I am thankful for every day I wake up, for I realize that each one is a gift. I am grateful for all those who display how little they think of me, for it reminds me of who I am with Christ and allows me to practice the love and forgiveness He made the foundation of our faith. I am thankful for every meal, for I have wandered lost without a clue where my next meal would come from. I have been blessed with going hungry for it helps me understand those who have no food to eat. I have been honored to be poor for it has strengthened my faith and dependence on God. Experiencing poverty helps me appreciate the little we have and understand we are truly rich, and that the worlds riches mean nothing in Eternity. So I learn to be content with what I have, and true contentment cannot be bought at any price.

Power is out

11/21/11 Monday
This morning we are without power. It’s foggy out so I fear someone had an accident and hit a pole. Power went out at almost exactly 6:00 am and I said a quick prayer for the protection or health of whoever had an accident, if indeed that happened. Cherie had already made our morning pot of coffee so we had that. The fog means moisture and when I took Cherie’s phone out to the truck, in order to charge it up on the truck battery, the soil was wet. Out here on this desert farm any wet is welcome. There is a chance of thunderstorms predicted today so we pray and hope some comes out way. The winter wheat and rye I planted is sure starved for water, along with everything else.

I got a door put up in the bathroom yesterday. Was grateful to Cherie for her encouragement and reminders to accomplish that task. The new used truck is now legal for the road but I need to pull wheels and investigate the brakes, for there is some grinding and squeaking to be heard while I drive. I also need to see if I can find some exhaust pipe in order to take out the soot collector device that is part of the exhaust. It looks like a catalytic convertor but isn’t and is not legally required on this year diesel. They are known to plug up and that could account for the steady decline in mileage. The shop that repaired our rusty exhaust so we could pass inspection pointed it out to me and will do the work for fifty bucks. Fifty dollars right now is a lot of money. We had gone up north with four thousand budgeted for the new truck but when all was said and done the $1550.00 we spent was all we had left. So I’ll see if I can do that exhaust job myself.

It’s 8:19 and there is still no power. There is a good lesson in this for us. Our reliance on electrical power is an issue we need to address when it comes to our long term plans for this farm. Out here on the farm power outages happen but in the days to come there may be serious interruptions. Iran has published plans that reveal a strategy to destroy or hamper our electrical grid and China has teams of computer hackers that regularly attack the computer systems that control our electricity, along with everything else. To be self-reliant is one of our goals, and that is why I bought a diesel truck. Should things all fall to pieces we can at least run the tractor and truck on vegetable oil. I can buy vegetable oil for a buck a gallon or so but need a filtration system to process it into bio diesel fuel. A press designed to extract oils from seeds would be great for the future too. We could grow our fuel then.

2:41 – The power is still out. I called this morning and learned that a substation that Sharyland Utilities (our power company) shares with Oncor, another power company, had caught on fire. He said they hoped to have the power on by noon. It’s obvious that won’t happen. Must have been one heck of a fire.

I have a fire going now in the woodburner. It was pretty cold here so a fire was a good idea. Plus with the woodburner I can heat up water for coffee or hot chocolate and in a pinch cook food. One of these years I would love to get a real wood fired cook stove. The kind that every house had before electricity and electric appliances became the norm. They still make them new, but those run about ten grand for the real good fancy ones. There are plenty of antique wood stoves out there, mostly up north, that can be found. So it’s on the dream list.

right now I am at the McDonalds in Lamesa. Came for the quest for manhood class I help teach at the prison and figured I could use the wi fi at Mcd's to go online.

It's good to be home

This morning's sunrise

11/20/11 Sunday
We are so back home. Been back for a week now and still catching up. There was great concern regarding our outside dogs, as we had no one to come and check on them. We had left out several tubs and containers of food, confident we would be home in a week, but it didn’t last two weeks. Driving up to the house in our new used truck we were ecstatic to find both Buddy and Duke in the driveway, loyally waiting for us to come home. Seeing how thin they had become, especially Duke, who’s ribs were pronouncedly visible, brought home how sad it was there was no one we knew close by we felt comfortable asking to check on them.

But what it also did was cause me to think of the spiritual principle our dogs illustrated. Their food bowls were empty and had been empty for quite some time. Both Buddy and Duke are strays we rescued, so they had been on their own before, yet they stayed. Why did they stay and not go wandering to at least look for food? Because of loyalty and also a form of faith deep inside them, faith that we loved them and would always take care of them. Now I know they are only dogs and don’t display the higher cognitive thinking abilities we humans have, but there is a core deep inside them, a trust and faithfulness that we should all make note of.

Just as our dogs stayed, faithfully waiting for their masters to come and provide their needs, so should we wait and trust in God. Oh, there was rejoicing when we got home. They bounced and leaped, excited to see us, and we loved them intensely back. I ran and got food for them and even had to encourage them to eat for they, despite being desperately hungry, were more interested in crawling in my lap and being close. There is a lesson in this for me. Just as they trust in us, to the point perhaps of starving, so need I to trust in God, to truly believe He will take care of us and knows our needs even before we do. When things get bad, when situations all seem to go wrong, when church people who are supposed to love and care reject and gossip instead of doing what they know is right, I need to understand that God is still God. That He loves us even more than we love those dogs and will always lift us up. We pray every day for the pastor and others at Hosanna, intercede for them, ask God to be merciful but also ask that He help them see and understand how their actions directly contradict everything our faith is about. We are to lift up, not tear down, strengthen, not destroy.

I went to the Lynaugh prison yesterday. So missed attending the 4 day Kairos event we had planned so hard for. At the prison I shared something I had read when I was in prison over 30 years ago. It was a poem that I no longer know word for word, but the message still remains with me. The poem told of a man driving along and noticing a group of workers busy tearing down a building. He stops and talks with the foreman of the group, who tells him, “In a minute or two, I can tear down what others took years to do”. When I first heard this decades ago it had an impact on me, for the truth is it is much easier to tear down than it is to build up.

I shared this with the new converts and new members of the Kairos community because we are laying a foundation for them to build on. In prison, and out here in the free world, it is important to be builders and encouragers, to help each other out, protect and nurture our brothers and sisters in the faith. But when pride, ego, envy, jealousy, and all those other shortcomings we all must control, are allowed to rise up, then there comes discord, strife, and all manners of evil, and the Love of Christ, the foundation of our faith, is shoved off to the side. This is a dangerous thing to allow, for with it comes the judgment of the living God, who makes it clear many times that He will protect His little ones and hold accountable all who wear the label of “Christian” but harm the least of God’s children.

Mathew 7:21 "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' 23 Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'

I watched a pastor squirm regarding this verse not so long ago. She said “It says many people will “say” they do these things, but doesn’t say they do, in her attempt to make sure it didn’t refer to anyone she knew. Fact is there will be many false teachers and prophets who do have signs and wonders following them, they WILL prophesy in Jesus’s name, they WILL cast out demons, they WILL perform miracles, yet they are not pleasing to God.

1 Corinthians 13 says 1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

It’s not what you do, but why you do it that is important. True love is shown in actions, not empty words. True love forgives and always works to build up others, to choose what is best for them, not best for yourself. There are so many who seem blind to themselves, deluded they are all that in the church when the fruit of their lives reveals the truth.
The truck we bought in Indiana
That’s it. Got work to do so must go.

a heavy millstone

The new faucet I put in.

10/20/11 Thursday
It’s starting to warm up a little, but I like the cool weather. I’m still getting used to this new laptop but it’s a great improvement over the old one. Biggest issue I have with it is that the keyboard is not centered because this one has a number keyboard on the right side so that slides the rest of it over. The touchpad is much larger than on the Toshiba and that is causing consistent problems. I’m used to resting my palms on the base of the keyboard and with this touch pad the heel of my palm touches it quite often, with some unwanted results. So I must learn a better way of holding my hands as I type. It keeps popping up screens that I am not familiar with, such as one that says “zoom” and other modifications of the view. On occasion it makes those modifications despite me not wanting them.

I just installed a new faucet for the kitchen. The old one had been given to us by Amy, a friend we met through the blog, along with the kitchen sink. It was great but the water out here is destructive. All faucets here develop leaks as the salt and minerals build up inside them. Salt is unfortunately one of the most corrosive natural elements out there and apparently ate through the metal of the faucet. Of course we have to wonder what else is in the water due to the extremely high level of oil field work done all around us. Fracking is a fairly new technique used these days to increase the production of oil wells but unfortunately that has often been linked with the corruption of the water supply.

We will be going to visit Cherie’s folks up in Ohio before the year ends. She is looking forward to that and it will be good for her. Out here there is no one close we can call a friend and that definitely contributes to her feelings of isolation and loneliness. We really have a hard time understanding the mentality we have run into in this area. What makes it even more sad is the “Christian” label so many wear but show no outward signs of actually practicing. Jesus died for us all, and gave only two commandments. Love God, and love your neighbor as yourself. We have found many good friends in Midland and through the Kairos prison ministry but they are miles away and visiting isn’t a practical thing. We had so looked forward to making friends and becoming a part of the community here in Stanton when we first moved here, and were baffled at the response we got. First we were rejected at the Baptist church. Gossip evidently played a big part in that. No one talked to or with us, but they had plenty to say about us when we weren’t around. Four years later we decide to attend the little church down the road called Hosanna. We attended faithfully a year and once again we experienced that cold we had found in the Baptist church. I know I talk about these things a lot, but I have good reason. We have heard and seen so many stories of those who should be showing the love of God doing quite the opposite. I can only imagine how Jesus’s heart breaks each and every time this horrible, and total, disobedience of the heart of our faith happens. How sad that the ones performing this sin so often believe they are doing the right thing. I see the same arrogance and self-righteousness that was so often displayed by the Pharisees in them. May God have mercy on them for Jesus said "And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me; 6 but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. I would not like to be in their shoes.

We’ve got tons of watermelons that need to find a home. With all the time I’ve spent with the prison ministries we have been unable to make any of the farmers markets. I’ve sent out emails to those we know to get the word out. If any of you readers who are near want some watermelon just let me know.

Time to go now. Good night folks

Red out

10/17/11 Monday

I’ve seen blackouts, and endured whiteouts up north when the snow blew so hard you couldn’t see five feet in front of you. I think I’ll call what I just drove through on the way home from the prison a red out. While we were at the prison teaching the “Quest for Authentic Manhood” class a storm blew in. We heard a rumbling sound that almost sounded like thunder, except it was constant. Looking out the prison window we saw a red sky full of blowing sand. Everything got dark as it thickened and soon the guard came in to shut down the class. All the inmates were ordered back to their cells and the prison was put on lockdown. I knew it was a serious storm then. We headed back out through security and made the very sandy dash to our vehicles. I had to use both hands to get the door to my truck closed against the wind.

Sitting in the truck I called Cherie as it rocked back and forth in the intense wind. “Is it blowing there yet?” I asked. “Of course it’s blowing” she replied, because the wind always blows out there, so I explained about the storm that was heading her way. She went out and checked for things that might blow away and I headed home.

It was a long drive home. Visibility at times was so bad I couldn’t see the end of the hood on the truck. Part of the drive was spent going five miles an hour as I strained to see the white line that marked the side of the road. Whenever possible I would go faster but it was a little scary. Lots of oil field tanker trucks were on the road, as they always are out here, but they were moving slowly with hazard lights flashing. Despite being intimately familiar with the road home I had to creep up to where I knew the stop sign was because it wasn’t visible till I was feet away. Cherie had all the lights in the house on because she knew I would have a hard time finding the house. I still had to creep along the side of the road to try and find our driveway and almost drove past it.

Boy, is it good to be home. Even walking from the truck to the front door, a journey of about 20 feet, had me covered with a layer of sand. I took a washcloth and wiped as much of it off as I could but I’ll have to take a shower. Sand is everywhere, in my eyes, teeth, and when I blew my nose I thought I had a serious nosebleed till I identified it as sand.

It’s always good to see the guys at the prison. And they generally are glad to see me too. I was greeted warmly when I walked in and some pulled me off to the side to ask advice or talk about issues they were dealing with.

That’s all for now. I’m tired and looking forward to some sleep.

Went to the doctor

10/12/11 Wednesday
Went to the doctor yesterday about what I thought was an infected big toe. Turns out I have something called gout. I’ve heard about gout many times but never understood what it was, other than it causes a lot of pain. I had figured the toe was infected because there had been a thorn in it that I had pulled out and squeezed pus out of. You can still clearly see where that thorn had been and the whole area had swollen up and turned red. It hurt so badly that walking was extremely difficult despite my high tolerance for pain. Kept hoping the infection would go away but it didn’t seem to so we went to the VA hospital in Big Spring. They did blood tests and I was surprised to learn there was no longer any infection at all, but high levels of uric acid, a sure sign of gout. They gave me medicine for it along with a list of foods I should avoid. The most important thing they said I need to do is drink lots of water, so I’m working hard on that. With the weather cooling off I haven’t been drinking as much water so that’s the big reason this happened. The infection just provided an area for the uric crystals to form so was the catalyst for this.

There are good things that can come out of anything bad. I’ve been needing to write for a while but haven’t been real focused on it. Now that I am hampered from working on the farm and not anxious to walk anymore than I have to I am forced to focus on writing. I see this as God sitting me down a bit.

There is much to do, always. Income taxes for last year need to be completed by the 18th, so that’s a rush. The VA is still confiscating all federal payments we get as we continue the three year long appeal process. Meantime, because we are listed as owing the federal government money, we are exempted from all USDA and federal programs designed to help beginning farmers and those starting up businesses. We are still putting together the business plan for the home inspection program we were trained and certified by the state to perform.

I sold the big diesel truck so now we are looking for a replacement vehicle, preferably a pick up truck that I can use on the farm. May go to Ohio to get one as there are great deals up there because the economy is so poor. If anyone reading this knows of a good deal on a truck let me know. I would love to get a diesel for several reasons but they cost way more than gas trucks do. God will provide, as He always does.




I’m not getting far on putting the booster pump in. As it seems to be with all my projects, I get started and then don’t seem to go anywhere. This drives me crazy and I’m sure doesn’t make Cherie real happy either. Our electric bill appears to be very high at the well so there is something that is not right. We don’t know enough to figure that out and can’t really afford to have someone look at it. What we know is the water pressure is low and the electric bill is high.







I planted winter wheat and rye grain when I knew some rain was finally on the way. Here you can see how I took a fertilizer spreader and tied it on the back of my disc to spread the seeds. Then I drug the old tires I had bolted together on top of it to press the ground down. Waiting to see if that did any good. I am always guessing on how to do things and am never sure because I can’t remember how I did it last time or what the results were.




We haven’t seen many snakes this year. I was harvesting watermelons one morning and after cutting a melon from the vine rolled it over to pick up. There was a young rattlesnake curled up under it that I didn’t see till my hand was about two inches away. It was cold so the snake wasn’t moving very fast. Later, as I was cleaning up the veranda area, I pulled a chair out to shovel the sand that had blown in out. There was this rattlesnake curled up under it. I shoveled it into this rat trap and took it to the tank that’s a couple of hundred yards away, where I released it. They keep the mice and rat population down and I’m all for that. You always have to be careful out here cause you never know where a snake might be. That holds true among people too.

Those who build and those who tear down

10/10/11 Monday
It’s past time to give you all an update. Those of you who care want to know how things are going and those who want to keep tabs on us want to know as well. Our fake Ricardo sure wants to do that, but his/her motives are far from pure. But that’s ok, our God reigns and those who wish for us to fail will be constantly disappointed.

There is an old song I remember that says “Two kinds of people in this world, winners, losers”. While there is some truth to that I understand that things are more complex than this. There are in this world those who build up and those who tear down, the encouragers and the ones who enjoy pointing out all the failures in ones life. We understand that well, and have seen much of it. It’s so sad when those who strive to tear down are the ones who also proudly wear that “Christian” label. God is real clear about what He thinks of them, and it’s not good. A problem is that those who are so proud and arrogant about who they are in the church are also blind to themselves, unable to see or even recognize their hypocrisy.

We had a wonderful visit by Mark Case yesterday. Mark is a man of God who has traveled the world and has a message for the church of today. It’s a message that many don’t want to hear but those who don’t want to hear it are the ones who need to hear it the most. We’ve known Mark for a couple of years now and were so happy when he called to say he’d stop by. He had given a message at that little church in Stanton, the one we used to attend, so was close by.

We talked for quite a while, discussing issues in the church, the world, and our lives. We did a little bible study as Mark revealed some deep things he has been shown. Unfortunately he has a busy schedule and needed to get to Dallas so we had to cut the visit short and send him on his way. There are great needs in our area for accurate teaching of the bible, to counteract the many false teachings that circulate around, so Mark encouraged us to continue seeking avenues to do so. He understands our desire to not cause problems with another church, the one that rejected us, but said that we can’t let that get in the way of what God wants. Thus I am encouraged to start a bible study in the area and will look for avenues to do so. If others feel that this is done out of spite that is their problem, for my heart is pure in my reasons for doing this. I don’t see our faith as a form of competition, but so many others do. Jesus was clear when He, after being told that there were others doing things in His name, said “If they are not against me then they are for me”.

It is so sad when we see discord in the church. Don’t all these people understand that we are on the same side? Why don’t they all join in together to help each other achieve the goals that Jesus set before us all, to love. For our morning devotional I read again out of John 13, where Jesus washed the disciples feet. After He did that they all observed the Passover dinner, where Jesus broke the bread and explained that this was His body, broken for us. When they had all eaten Jesus said “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another”.

How is this a new commandment? It’s the same one that has been around for ages, a principle of the faith found in the old testament, where it says “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself”. So what makes it new? Jesus said we should love one another as HE loved us. That’s what makes it new, the example Jesus gave through His life, where He even died for us all.

But make careful note of what else He said “By this all men will know that you are my disciples”. Understand that when we fail to love each other, especially in the church, that the world will also know that we ARE NOT His disciples. The world is watching and sees every act, both good and bad, and you can bet it sees the bad quicker than the good. So when we get angry, spiteful, resentful, jealous, or any other thing against those who are in the family of God, and all others too, the world watches in disgust, saying “Look at those hypocrites” and many doubt God because of it.

Jesus said “Whoever causes the least of my little ones to stumble, it would be better for him that a millstone were hung around his neck and that he was thrown into the deepest part of the sea”. There is a judgment we all must face, so we should always walk carefully. In Mathew 7 Jesus said “"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' 23 Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'

Enough of that. I’ve got things to do. Will go to the prison tonight and teach some of the guys there.