Monday, December 01, 2008

Friday was a bad one

12/1/08 Monday
Friday was a bad one. The slowdown lasted well into the afternoon so very little got done. We did switch our cell phone service to AT&T and got new phones. I am having a hard time figuring it out. Even dialing a number or answering a call were a challenge. I’ll get used to it.

Reading Friday’s journal entry I see there was much I wanted to say about what I’m thankful for but didn’t. The list of blessings we have had this year is a long one and I hope no one is offended because I didn’t list what they did. There have been a lot of material things we have been blessed with but the most important is friends.

I’m not good at social things like being a friend. I can do it but am uncomfortable, always worried about screwing it up. I commonly ask Cherie “Did I act alright? Did I say anything stupid?” after we do something with others. I do this because of my history of offending others. Right now I am worried that I upset Mike, who has done much to help us. He got me a Ryobi cordless set of tools that included a drill, reciprocating saw, circular saw, and flashlight. It is a small lightweight set of tools designed for small lightweight jobs so what do I do? I told him that. At the time I just didn’t comprehend that you don’t do that. That is all typical for survivors of traumatic brain injuries. The lists of TBI symptoms all have “Social skills” and “inappropriate speech and behavior” towards the top. I figure it out later most of the time. I’m most comfortable by myself unless Cherie is around. She often helps me navigate these situations though my stubbornness gets in the way.
I'm resurfacing the top and have put sides on the workbench. Been planning on doing this for two years.

Among the blessings we have is a table saw, jointer, small bandsaw, and miter saw that a Steve gave me. With that and having lights installed in the garage I am motivated to make it a working shop. I raised the height on the big woodworking table so using will be less painful for my back. I’ve also built a work bench along the wall and put up some of the pegboard I recovered from the landfill. I still need to put support legs under it but it’s usable now. Now comes a hard part, deciding how to arrange all of these tools. Making decisions can be hard for me, especially when I don’t trust my reasoning skills. I want to raise all these pieces of equipment so everything is at the same height as the woodworking table. Not sure how to do that. The tablesaw has wheels so can be moved around a bit. I’ve been studying this for days now and changed my mind a dozen times.

I’m not working for the old man this morning so can perhaps keep working on this. As long as I can stay focused things actually get done. The problem is there are so many things that need to be done but if I focus on one thing the others are neglected. I have five hundred pounds of rye seed that needs to be sown. Last year I did this in January and February while it was snowing. I need to order seed and supplies for the farm. We forgot to order more Afghan pines but the CRP money is gone now.

The two years of research I put in for making the business plan for the farm is all gone now with the crash of my computer. Along with it are all the links to key sites as well as the downloads on how to do things.

I’ve got to get to work now.

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