Start of another week

6/14/10 Monday
Start of another week and always more to do than I can keep up with. I still need to finish tearing down the barn in Crane but we are out of money so I can’t even afford the gas to go there. Had a surprise charge made on our account from the Stelera internet guys when the charged me for the replacement internet box. Looking at the bill I see that they never gave me the discounted rate we signed up for, the low rate designed to attract new customers. Seems that we were charged full price from the start. Now I feel lied to. I’ve placed several calls to the lady who replaced the original representative, who either got fired or went somewhere else, but she has yet to return a call.

Replaced the section of pipe that the gophers chewed through. Not a good sign at all, the amount of damage those little pests caused. This could be a really bad problem if I can’t get a handle on it. I’m sure they are not happy about the wire cages I surrounded the wind break trees with but at least so far that seems to be working. All of the trees are still alive as of now. We lost 90 trees before and that hurt. Nothing is easy out here. Not at all like the farm country we were used to up in Ohio/Michigan.

We have a few sporadic patches of Bermuda grass that has managed to grow out of the twenty or so pounds of seed I put out. Most of it never came up but I’ll take what I can get.

I found myself trying to explain why I don’t have a “regular” job last week to a well meaning person who offered to try and find me one. First of all folks don’t seem to understand that I work full time as I strive to build this farm. I put in 12 or 15 hour days, on the days I’m able to do that, so it’s not like I lay around doing nothing all day. I tried to convey the difficulties I face but am not sure if I was successful or not. People seem to have fixed opinions about things, little boxes they desire to fit everyone in based on their experience. I don’t fit in a box. You can’t generally find a job where you can work when you feel like it, or those times you are able to, and not work when you have a seizure, severe headache, or hurt so much you must lay down till it goes away. I have that job right here on the farm, it’s just what the doctor ordered. I just am not making any money at it right now. Plus I find time to help others out despite the difficulties. I mow the widows lawn and do chores around her house as well as spend time visiting and praying with her as she wrestles with so many problems it makes my life seem mild. I visit and sometimes teach bible at the halfway house and intend to get back to going to the prison in Fort Stockton on a regular basis. I endeavored to explain to this well meaning brother that I don’t do well in unfamiliar environments and my brain isn’t able to process lots of new information fast so any fast paced situation would leave me in shambles. Plus there’s the emotional control issue, one that hasn’t been a problem lately because I avoid situation that would aggravate it.

I can do a lot of things, no question about it, but they have to be on my terms. There’s a chance I can build some pagoda type things for a lady and that I can do. It would be great and would also help me find work for some of the guys at the halfway house. I’m not concerned about me for God takes care of us, but in my mind life isn’t about taking care of yourself but about helping others. That’s why I liked building those table tops for that lady last week. I would see the existing ones every time I went to eat there and they had totally deteriorated so I offered to make her new ones. When she asked how much I would charge I just said “Pay me whatever you think they’re worth after I’m done” and offered to take food in trade as well. I’m not worried about money, I just want to help and was glad to do so.
Here's a picture of the wild sunflowers that grow around here. Cherie likes them and so do I so they didn't get chopped down with the rest of the weeds.
I’ve spent two hours on this computer and that’s a waste of valuable time so got to go. There’s a list of things to do and they won’t get done with me sitting here.