Friday, September 16, 2005

91505 Thursday Try again

9/15/05 Thursday
     And I’m off. Woke up but didn’t want to. I forced my self to get my butt out of bed and got cleaned up. I went across the street for breakfast because I was too lazy to cook. While there Sharon called me. They moved someone next door to her and he knocked on her door with his belt undone and his zipper down. Not good at all. Sharon asked if they were still taking section 8 where we are so I went to the office and checked. MD properties is not to keen on it because of problems they had in the past. The lady I talked to will call the owner to see if he will make an exception. I got to go get Wayne now so will finish this later.
     I am back. It is 2:53 now. The MS luncheon was really a good thing and I am glad I finally got Wayne to it. We got there at 11:30 and there was no one else from the group present. The restaurant did not have any tables set up so they threw a couple together. Wayne and I sat there for the next half hour by ourselves and I worried that I had screwed up again. Wayne kept chattering on, asking me the same questions over and over about when it was to start and which Thursday of the month it was supposed to be on. This just aggravated the feelings I had about not having it together and the fear I had come on the wrong day again.
     Then to my relief I saw a van pull up that had two people in it who needed devices to help them walk. One was a motorized wheelchair and the other a walker. This gave me hope which was confirmed when they came to our table with the white haired woman in the wheelchair leading the way. She had a radiant smile that lit up her whole face and asked if we were here for the MS lunch.
     There was just three of them, two with MS and the other was the driver of the van who’s exact position I am not clear on at the moment. I think she is a volunteer caretaker or something but she has a sweet disposition and is in sales with a computer corporation that I believe she said was a spin off of IBM. We all began the process of getting to know each other and began to share with each other. Denise was the one with a walker and had the most obvious physical symptoms of MS with a pronounced shaking and her speech was also affected.
     I was slow by this time because of the anxiety I had earlier and the need to process all the things going on like the restaurant commotion and trying to follow the conversation at the table. There was so much helpful information and input that I went out to the car to get my notebook and write things down. I hope I can follow through on things because it would make a significant improvement for Wayne.
     Right now as I write this I am tired and slowing down. I want to take a nap but want to write this stuff down. Think I will lay down. Took my pill and some aspirin. Got a headache. Wayne wanted me to come in and visit but I just wanted to get home cause I felt the headache coming. I am yawning those big yawns that cause the paralysis thing in my neck. Laying down wins. Be back later.
     It’s later. I did the half asleep half awake thing that I do so much now. Cherie came home early from work and fixed a noodle and chicken dinner that was good. She seemed surprised. The headache is a killer this time. The right leg is less operational and the knee is stiff and painful. I am still not up to speed and writing this comes slowly. I had hoped to record the events of earlier so it wouldn’t vanish into the recesses of my mind. I can’t recall much right now and hope it will be accessible later. I also hope to do something on the blog and may be able because I can just post some of what I already wrote.  
     I got that done after going through it to X out Allen’s name.

9/16/05 Friday
     It is 5:25 in the morning now. I have been up an hour. Woke up to the sound of water dripping from the bedroom window as it does with every rain. I pulled the latch to tighten the window hoping it will reduce this flow. I know I do this every time it rains but don’t remember if it works or not. I fixed some scrambled eggs and Bob coffee, which is unusually strong even for me. It is kinda like a liquid defibrillator as the caffeine jolts my system. I was slow at the end of the day and still have difficulty writing this but not to bad. About a six or seven on the Bob scale of cognizance.
     I tried to post on my blog but it doesn’t seem to have gone through. It is not on the blog but the record of the post shows when I push the tool bar button that is at the top of this Word page. As usual I am confused and will have to go back to the basics on the educational instructions at and relearn what I already studied. I get tired of being confused. It makes me feel stupid when everyone tells me how smart I am. I will try a small post in case I had tried to put too much on at once and exceeded the limits set by the blog host (or whatever you call them). I wish I had money to pay someone to help me learn how to do this and put it together.

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