92305 Friday

9/23/05 Friday
     I woke up at 4:45 this morning so put on some gentle guitar music and will do some writing. I woke up with memories of my time at the Volunteers of America fresh on my mind. This after another vivid dream which this time I remember.
     In this dream I was involved with helping an organization by using my knowledge of antiques to help them raise funds. I drove to a fancy glass high rise building that is reminiscent of the Ren Cen in Detroit. Leaving my car in the drive up entrance where the door man and those who help with baggage are busy I rush into the hotel. I am not sure what floor to go but push the right button and arrive at this black tie function. I get involved with different individuals, telling them about short term memory loss, all the while looking for Christine who had gotten me involved with this affair. She is not available but as I look around I notice my name is on the paperwork with hers. It was a surprise and I feel like my name had been used for their benefit without permission. When I go to leave I find that I had forgotten leaving my car in their drive. Asking about it I learn it had been boxed up and put in their storage room many floors up. I take the elevator up and find a warehouse filled with rows of shrink wrapped boxes stacked on pallet racking twenty foot high. One of them contains my car. End of dream.
     Now back to the VOA. As I woke up this morning and felt how wet my pillow is from the night sweats it brought back the memories of my first days at VOA. I was taking the interferon for hepatitis and that caused me to sweat profusely while I was shaking from the chills in addition to it being winter with poor heat. I did get an extra blanket from the  staff and stayed under the covers much of the time. With that door of memory unlocked there was much that returned. The journal I kept which disappeared when they threw me into jail, the file full of wrinkled papers Christine would not let me read or return to me, and the reaction of staff members when they would run into me after being jailed by them. It was a place of corruption and when I publish that it will cause a problem. I am anxious to be free of this probation for while I am in the system it is to easy for them to again use it to have me jailed in retaliation as they did before.
     This morning I am to go work on Dave’s van. The first hurdle will be telling Fred for I know he is upset that I refused to take Barb this morning. It would be much easier if I would lie and tell him something like I have to see a doctor but I won’t. We’ll see how that goes. Right now I think I will work on building the website.
     I had forgotten I meet Jeff but thanks to it becoming a routine remembered to go. We had a good talk and the guy in the booth next to us got into the conversation when he heard me telling Jeff we were going to buy a car. Then we talked of prison and the justice system. He had been a prison guard in Maryland so had a good inside perspective. He is also a Fed ex driver so I asked if he knew a place Ahmed could park his tractor trailer. He said some of his drivers use the K-mart parking lot. I told him about Ahmed’s truck being towed and they tried to crank him for a thousand dollars. He is familiar with that kind of scam. I called Ahmed to tell him but he is skeptical because of being towed from a similar lot.
     After that I went to Dave’s to work on his van from hell. After four hours and $80 worth of parts I was still not able to get a spark. I am exhausted and toward the end the migraine started coming up. The positions I had to get in to reach the work areas have my body pain really high. I got home at 3:00. I washed as much grease off my hands as I could and scraped it off my fingernails.
     I helped Dave get to several places to buy groceries, laundry soap, go to the bank to cash his check, go back to the bank to get money for the auto parts, and of course three trips to Murray’s to get the parts.
     I took a survey but had difficulty following the instructions. Took some aspirin and Tramadol as well as my seizure pill. Hope the headache goes down. Almost fell to sleep as I took the survey so perhaps should take my nap. It frustrates me because I once would go for twelve hours a day with no problem and now four hours wears me out. The headache wins. Will lay down and close the blinds to keep out the brightness that bothers me at these times. I would close the window to reduce the noise but we need the air flow to keep it cool in the apartment.
     Cherie had a rough morning with the hot flashes at a high level. It put her in a nasty mood and she told the cat to shut up. She never does that. I tried to get some humor out but it couldn’t override her discomfort. I hope she did alright at work. Wish I was in better shape so I could cook a nice dinner for her. Perhaps I will take her out to dinner.
     Just called Cherie at work to see how she was doing she is tired as the hot flashes drain her quickly on top of working all day. I will meet her outside and we will go to the bank to deposit her check and then straight to the restaurant on Glendale we like to beat the rush. It is so good to be back with her after twenty years that I can’t help but write about it all the time. I’m sure it will get old if I ever get an audience on the blog but don’t care. The blog is me with no pretense to impress any one. Don’t like it tough. I do. This honesty and openness I try for is scary to some we have met. Seems that the whole world is so used to false faces honesty is uncomfortable.
     Dinner was good as it always is at the Glendale Garden Café. Great food at an unbelievable price. It’s no wonder there is always a line there. We just beat the crowd and by the time we left there were fifteen people waiting and they didn’t mind at all.
     We went looking at cars after dinner. Because we are car shopping virgins we were surprised to fine the dealerships close at six on Friday. No problem cause that means we can look without being pressed by some anxious salesman who wanted to get our money more than help us find what we wanted. I called Bill after to get his advice because he sells used cars professionally. Being our pastor helps me feel safe asking for advice. He gave me a better idea how things work which will help me decide the best way to approach this. I think that because of the time constraints we will be better off going to a dealer where we can unload Cherie’s car by trading it in and the dealer can get the financing pushed through. If we had time I could go to the bank and get pre approved for a loan thus knowing how much we can spend. Then I could go with Bill to a dealer’s auction and buy at dealer prices. Oh well, to late for that.