catchin up

This morning's view out the front door.

1/29/08 Tuesday
Well folks, I’ve got some catching up to do. Right now it’s windy, the weather guy said gusts to fifty mph. Sure seems like that’s what it is without gusts. Yesterday they said it was forty five mph gusts it wasn’t anything compared to what we have this morning. I’ve been running the sprinklers as much as I can the last few days as we haven’t had any rain for a while and with the freezes the rye needs some help. There’s no sense in turning it on right now cause the wind will just blow the water away before it can hit the ground. I’ll be working inside a lot today. Yesterday the sand was a bit rough to be out in, getting in my eyes and every other orifice it could find. Should have worn a dust mask to keep it out of my nose. All that silica can’t be good on the nasal passages much less the lungs. Nothing like finding mud when you blow your nose. I need to find some bandanas to wear as they are more comfortable than a dust mask.

I think this was Saturday's sunrise

So time to try and figure out what’s gone on the last four days. The last entry in my journal is the one you read on Thursday except for the lone cheesecake recipe I downloaded that is all there is on Friday. I suppose that is when I cooked the killer cheesecake we’ve been chowing on the last few days. I haven’t done much cooking lately though I love to. Unfortunately for our waistlines I prefer deserts. Still been eating on the elk and venison chili I made a month or two ago. Cherie had divided it up and froze it. So Friday I cooked cheesecake. The only other thing I can remember is Friday is one of my two scheduled poop scoop days of the week. But Cherie called and told me it had already been done. This kind of worries me as I tend to conjure up worst case scenarios. Steve and Janie have been doing lots of travel as she is changing jobs so Bud is house sitting. I am sure he’s the one who cleaned up the yard but my worry is that Steve and Janie (I think I’ll call the S & J to keep it short and be lazy about typing their names) will be unhappy that I’m not doing the job. Janie, I’m sorry but can’t help it already being done before I get there.

Friday or Saturday's sunset

Yeah I know, I’m paranoid but it’s part of the package and something I fight all the time. Not so much worrying about accidents or stuff like that but mostly that I offended or did something that will effect what people think of me. Considering how we were shunned by the first church of Stanton there is a basis for that. The odds are I contributed to that by what I said. This is one of the reasons I seek to help others understand traumatic brain injury because this is a common issue for us survivors. It’s unfortunate that not one person in that church took the time to get to know us despite my begging for it. It’s a sad reflection on their Christianity.

I best not get back on that but the pastor in me, who I was in the past, wants to help them open their eyes so they can be better. I suspect that instead of understanding, the ones involved will just be offended at my talking about it and harden their hearts, confident in their self righteousness. Nothing new there. Jesus had some pointed words to say on that subject. We steadily meet people in Midland who tell us that Stanton is a “Closed community”. One said that if you weren’t four generations back in the community you weren’t accepted. So the town has a reputation that goes far and wide. If only I could help them see.

I just called Cherie and got some good news. There is poop in S & J’s yard!!! HURRAY!!! What a strange thing to find relief in. So I’m running to Midland now where Cherie and I will hit Rosa’s for their taco Tuesday special and I will gladly do my job. Hey, it’s simple things folks, at least for me. It adds to my perception of self worth.

So looking at my pictures I see that it was Friday I went to the landfill and found this wood. There is a mountain of it that some company dropped off. Thinking that it was just standard pine lumber I went over to pick some out for building projects on this farm I was surprised to see that most of it was oak, white oak at that. WOW!!! It’s all rough cut with some even having the bark on but this isn’t cheap stuff. Not only is it some of the best firewood you can get but can make some great furniture too. I grabbed a little of it and some plywood that was laying in the dirt as well.

Saturday I don’t have a clue what I did. There are no pictures or anything to remind me. I know that Sunday we went to church as usual. There was no teacher for the Sunday school class so Ed took on the responsibility. I offered to do so as I was sharp at the time but Ed had already volunteered. I think I contributed well. Actually right now I am unsure if it was Ed or someone else. That’s not clear in the memory. One of the members of the class has just been diagnosed with acute Leukemia. That’s a tough thing. I have to admire how his wife, Vicky, is handling this as hard as it is. She writes regular letters to all of us through the yahoo group’s thing that is set up for the class. There is usually a touch of humor to be found in them. That is something, to maintain humor at such a time. Pray for them if you are a praying person.

Yesterday I went back to the landfill and got as much wood as the truck would hold. While there I saw an older gentleman who was unloading brush from his trailer. I said hi as I always do with folks out here and he just said hi back without pausing from his work. As he drove off I looked and he seemed vaguely familiar. It’s real hard for me to recognize faces because of the TBI but as I puzzled about it I thought he might me Charlie P. whom I knew going back to when I attended the first church of Stanton in the seventies and of course met again when we returned. His wife is the one that did my grandmother’s taxes so we’ve talked a few times recently. But I figured it must not have been because he didn’t seem anxious at all to talk to me. When he came back with another load I stopped what I was doing and walked over. “Is that you Charlie?” I asked. It was. He stopped unloading his trailer and we exchange pleasantries for a bit but he seemed rather reserved. Now there’s my paranoia again. I wonder what he thinks of me, I wonder what the gossip is that goes around in those quarters, I wonder if he would rather I didn’t come up to him. And there is no way I can know because I can’t read minds and am poor at interpreting body language and all the subtleties of human communication.

So I worked all day getting that wood. Had it loaded by noon or so and worked till after five unloading and organizing it. This morning I hurt bad from that. Took one of the hated pain pills first thing when I woke up.

Time to get to Midland folks so see ya next time.