Motherboard's gone

5/6/09 Wednesday
I’ve set up my journal on Cherie’s computer so I can keep up with things. The tech at Best Buy informed me that the motherboard on my laptop was probably dead. “That will cost three to eight hundred dollars to replace” she said. Nuts. I’ll go online to see what I can find for less after I figure out what I need. Considering our new budget with the loss of the disability check it will probably be a while. I need to look into the external hard drive to find out how to extract the information I need. Once again there is lots of research on my laptop, research for the business plan and on how to grow things. There was tons of stuff on the old hard drive that is lost to us till we can afford to send it to a lab to see what can be recovered. The hard drive currently in my laptop is brand new so can be placed into another computer with little difficulty. Money, Money, Money, the biblical root of evil, is also the answer to a lot of problems for us. But our needs are constantly met, just when they need to be. Not our wants, our needs. While it’s frustrating to live at this level it’s a daily blessing too. We’ve learned to be content, though sometimes it’s hard. No matter how hard it gets we know that at our worst we are still much better off than many others. We have food, we have clothes, and we have so much more. Top of the list is that we have friends.

Ben is doing quite well. He doesn’t put weight on his bad leg but hops around on three fairly well. We worried about him doing that but Dr. Law said he would be fine. Ben will often hobble to where he can see me working and lay down there. The other three stay with me as I work. Rascal is the most loyal and is always close. He’s daddy’s boy for sure. We love them all and despite the frustration of dogs acting like dogs they are a big blessing in our lives. After Ben’s accident, on top of losing Ginger and several other pets, we have developed a degree of fear that something will happen to one of the others.

I need to install the software for downloading pictures from the cameras so I can start posting them. Had some killer sunsets recently that I look forward to accessing.

I’ve finally gotten off my butt and started tilling up the garden plots. Been doing that for two or three days now. Last night I worked way after dark with the headlight thing on my hat to light the way. It’s much cooler then. Plus I’m getting out early to beat the heat. The depression seems to have subsided and that helps a lot. The frustration at not accomplishing my goals is still there but I can used that to keep motivated. It’s going to be another triple digit heat day, with the temperature predicted to hit 105 degrees. That just drains me. I don’t know what else I was planning on writing as it’s a little hard to formulate thoughts right now. I guess I’m a little slow but not too bad. A big problem for me lately is deciding what to do. Do I till weeds under where there is so much rye trying to survive? That will leave the ground bare and you can bet more weeds will take the place of the other ones. Or do I get the hoe out and chop them down? That will take weeks to do and other needed tasks would be neglected. Should I just focus on one plot and get something planted, letting the weeds go? It sure hurt when Tommy got his hernia. We had sold him Cherie’s car in exchange for physical labor so now they have a car basically for free and I don’t have the help I so badly need.

I need to focus on just one thing. Running the tiller works good because there are a lot fewer distractions that can get me off task and sidetrack me. First thing I might do is put in drip irrigation on the borders of the plots so I can get the sudan planted. That’s the tall stuff I plan on using to make borders for it also serves as a fairly effective wind break, thus protecting the plants.

Time to get moving. That fatigue thing, a common problem with traumatic brain injuries, is raising it’s head now. I’m resisting falling asleep as I write this. Once I get out working that will lessen.
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I forgot how quickly I get tired in this heat. To top it off I’ve got one of those headaches that make me sensitive to bright light. I’ll have to get out my sunglasses to continue. I came in and heated up some tamales Cherie had in the fridge. Hope she didn’t have plans for them cause they’re gone now. After that I laid down for an hour. I just uploaded the pictures from the camera to Cherie’s laptop. I’m drained. Don’t know if I had a slowdown or what but there’s too much to do so will push through.
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OK!! I lasted about an hour and a half out there. Came in and drank a big cup of tea and turned on the air conditioning. My typing speed tells me I’m slow. About a four on the bob scale. That’s pretty slow. I wasn’t aware of it till now. It’s so strange, this not being aware of it. As soon as I have to do things like writing or talking to others I’m aware of how slow I am because I must process information to do so. (This took fifteen minutes to write, give or take a few) When I’m out doing something simple like running the tiller there’s no problem processing information so I can’t tell I’m slow. I wonder if the heat and exercise cause or contribute to a slow down.