Pathways

5/18/09 Monday
I settled down just fine Friday. Did a good job fixing the stove top and it works great. I’ve been running the tiller all weekend. I focused that on the pathways that will be a key part of how we put this farm together. With the “pick your own” concept it is important to have easily identified walkways. Another motivation is to eliminate the weeds. There are tons of them and until I can get buffalo grass established they will be a constant battle. Buffalo grass won’t stop that but sure could reduce the number of weeds.

I can’t believe it’s already 10:30. I got out early and had the sprinklers going, mostly on the pathways I tilled. I’m doing this with the idea that when wet I can pack the dirt down with the tractor and thus create rock hard surfaces. I’m not sure how that will work. I’ve been running the tractor all morning. It gets hot and stops working so I have to let it cool off before I can go again. There is a lot of fluid leaking from where the steering column goes into the transmission housing. I sure wish I had the service manual that tells what fluids goes where and what kind of fluids to use. We were going to order it when I lost the disability check so that’s on a back burner now. I am really tired already. It’s like I’m 80 years old. Not at all convenient but that’s part of the brain injury.

This morning I must juggle all the things that need doing. That’s pretty much how it is every morning. There are weeds growing everywhere but there are crops to get planted and beds to prepare for that. If I keep putting the weeds off they will overpower everything and the longer I let them grow the harder it is to get rid of them. So I guess I’ll spend the day pulling weeds and neglect the other chores. That’s how it is, damned if I do and damned if I don’t. Wish I had about three of me.

I’ll set the alarm and allow myself a forty minute nap. Hate to waste even that much time but I operate better once refreshed. It clears the mind and helps me think.
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My frustration with Kodak grows. Yesterday I was again touched with how Rascal would keep pace with me as I ran the tiller so asked Cherie to make a video of it with the Kodak camera. She did but when I try to play what was downloaded from the camera I only get the sound, no picture. I can watch it on the camera itself but it won’t work on the laptop. I tried and tried to download pictures or the videos to my Picassa program but it wouldn’t recognize the camera was even plugged in. “No devices available” was all it would say. I tried to move them from the Kodak “Easyshare?” (What a lie even the name is) program to Picassa with no luck at all. Never took my nap. It’s not good to let these things eat at me till I’m about ready to throw things at walls. But I don’t give up easy and try and try again and again. I give. Anita, if you have an answer I would love to hear it. These things make me feel stupid, like I’m some kind of idiot who can’t understand simple things. Doesn’t help the depression at all, just makes it worse.

I long to get my computer running again. It didn’t have as much of a problem with this. I learned that Toshiba laptops like mine have a common problem with solder joints breaking. There are instructions on how to fix it online. I’ll have to take the whole laptop apart and take the motherboard out to do so but have little to lose, except the time it takes.