Saturday, May 27, 2006

It's a weekend

5/27/06 Saturday
This morning I am a little cloudy and tired. Feel like I worked all night. I did have lots of dreams. Don’t remember them but feel they were disturbing. Woke up at five this morning. It is a beautiful cloudless day this morning and the weather report says it will be this way the whole memorial day weekend. We will reach 90 degrees tomorrow. That on top of several days of rain means it will be muggy. 90 degrees in the Texas dryness isn’t bad but 90 when you have 90% humidity is a different story. We will probably use the air conditioner for the first time.

Not sure how the day will go. Allen wanted me to come over Thursday but I put that off so he expects me to come over today. Not really looking forward to that but he could use the moral support. Helping others is seldom convenient. I hope I clear up some. If not I will probably stay home.

Cherie asked what I wanted to do today. I need to get on researching the grants and government incentives that will be available to us in Texas. She said she wants to continue packing for our move there. I am only running a 6 on the Bob scale this morning. Got moving OK, showered and fixed breakfast. I seem to be going downhill as I write this with a possible migraine on the way so will take some aspirin to hopefully head this off.

10:00 – That worked. I am much clearer and running at an 8 on the Bob scale. Nothing like waking up and having to take a nap to start your day. I suppose I would call that a petite seizure. This unpredictable instability is frustrating but part of the package. Cherie and I had our morning time of laughter and love as we pretty much do every morning. She knows when I am not doing well and let me curl up on the bed undisturbed. It is amazing how quick I can swing from doing good to bad and back to good though this morning I woke up cloudy.

I looked at Nate’s blog this morning and reread about how he had to close up the company he had started. Kind of made me sad that we never really connected because I had offered to help him out. He did do the paperwork and made things legal like I had suggested though I would bet he will deny I had any influence at all. It is a shame because I have nearly twenty years experience starting, building, and running companies. He was doing things correctly but… Nuff said there. It is unfortunate that he interprets things as personal attacks or something like that. All I want to do is help him be a better person and change the mindsets that generate problems, not only for himself but for those around him. It’s not that I don’t like him I just don’t like some of the things he does. How dare I want to help him! How dare I point out any flaw! He initially started his blog as a response to what I said in mine, at least I think so but can’t really remember. Anyway he refers to me as his “asshole uncle” and on the title page of the blog lists as one of the reasons he started it was to comment on those who think their shit doesn’t stink.

I recognized clearly that I have lots of problems, some from the brain damage but not all of them. Social skills are one of the major problem areas listed for traumatic brain injury victims. You can find lots of information on this at the Brain Injury Association’s website. Despite that I know my motives for doing things are correct. Ever since I woke up from the coma I just want to help others. I may not be too good at it but I try. I really enjoy the television show “My Name Is Earl” because I am amazed at the parallels to my life. Not only is his past life similar to the one I lived but his drive to correct the wrongs he committed is one I can relate to. I have already contacted as many as I could remember to make things right. There was some success in that. The Karma thing featured in the show is a truth in life. What you do will come back to you. Live by the sword and die by the sword. You reap what you sow. Enough of being introspective. Hope this doesn’t cause a big stir at the in-law’s house but who knows. I have decided not to walk on eggshells anymore. I had signs posted at my businesses before the wreck that spelled out one of my core beliefs. They said “It only takes two things to earn my respect. Say what you mean and do what you say”. That creed hasn’t changed.

I am sure y’all can tell I am doing well brain wise because I am rambling on. Don’t have a clue if I make any sense or not but I’m not real concerned. Time to research stuff for the farm. Cherie’s sister, Cathy, gave me some websites regarding agriculture that will take me a while to wade through. I have a notebook here because if I don’t make notes everything I read will disappear from my mind. I can learn, just have to work extra hard at it. Time to go to work.

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