Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Gotta pick the meat off the bones

Last nights sunset

8/17/10 Tuesday
11:35 – It was time to come in. I managed to finish laying out the drip irrigation to the blackeyed peas. Started on it yesterday but began pulling up weeds so that was it. One little distraction and I’m off in a new direction. This morning I managed to stay focused till I got done. It’s running now and when the dirt softens up I will be able to put the wire holders into the ground that will keep the drip tape from blowing away. The ground is so hard that I can’t even drive the wires in. They just bend. Fortunately this is one of the rare days when the wind is not blowing at least twenty miles an hour.

I laid a towel down on the bed, as I do every day in order to not soak the bed with my sweat. It’s time to take a pain pill. The problem is that I can’t remember if I took one two minutes ago or not. There is enough drunk out of the glass of tea I poured to indicate I could of. Didn’t mark it down so I don’t know. That’s the problem with short term memory, or in this case what they call immediate memory loss. If I’m not careful I could take a half dozen pills and not know it. I’ll wait an hour and see if I still hurt, that would perhaps indicate I didn’t, though I hurt no matter what, just less with the pills.

It feels good to sit in front of the fan and enjoy the cool of the sweat evaporating out of this T-shirt. Today I may go to Midland and do yard work for the widow. Will poop scoop for some friends just because. What else? I need to by a rear seal for the pickup’s transmission but should put it up on jack stands and make sure that’s what it needs first. Always so much to do. We went to get some horse manure from people we met at the new church but couldn’t find it so ended up coming home. They called later in response to the note I left on their door so perhaps we can try again today. I must wait for Cherie to get off work cause we have to use her truck. It’s a shame someone soured our relationship with the old man, where I used to get lots of manure. That still bothers me, still hurts.

I’ll fix a sandwich in a bit, after I lay down for a while and let the pain pill take effect. Went ahead and took one because I’m pretty sure I didn’t take one earlier. There’s lots of work to do so I know I’ll need it.

Still working on the letter to some people we know. It’s a hard letter to write. I’ve got most of it done but, because it’s an uncomfortable situation I’ve been putting it off. I may or may not talk about it later. That depends on how it’s received I guess. There are other letters to other people I wanted to write and avoided for the same reason. But to let things lie means they sometimes fester into nasty feelings and thoughts so it’s better I think to get it out in the open and dealt with. I just haven’t done that because…I wonder if that will make it worse. I’ve learned that people don’t like honesty. They like their pretend sugar coated false reality to not be disturbed. I wrestle with this desire to help people see themselves, to point out the hypocrisy that just grates on me, this desire to help others be better people and improve their lives. Is this one of the results of the brain injury? It could well be as there are plenty of documented cases of the drastic personality changes that come with TBI that involve radical behavioral anomalies. I don’t know. Don’t quite understand a lot of things about me.

I know all the prophets in the bible went through hell because they pointed out others wayward actions. Many were killed, tortured, or thrown into dungeons or even a cistern in the case of Jeremiah if I remember right. Am I saying I’m a prophet? NO!!! I don’t hear the voice of God, no wonderful clear visions or pictures in my head and no voices telling me what will happen in the future. But I have had premonitions that turned out to be correct. I told Cherie once that there was going to be an earthquake in Ohio, where earthquakes aren’t heard of and a week or so later there was one. There was a moment I had a sudden sense of urgency about someone we know and I emailed or put on their facebook (Can’t remember which) a scripture about eating, drinking, and making big plans for the future but, the scripture said, such plans were foolish because tomorrow the Lord might take you. A week later the friend had a ruptured appendix and almost died. There have been a few other things but the problem with all this is I just don’t “Know” if it was just my imagination or coincidence or what. That’s the problem I’ve seen with so many others, that they imagine themselves to have such gifts and go off on a tangent, running around and saying “THUS SAYETH THE LORD” when all that comes out of their mouth is their own thoughts and self serving crap. I have no desire to be ranked among them. I just pray a lot and see things in life that are sad and should change.
This is where the corn will be planted. Gotta clean out the weeds and put in drip irrigation

Enough of that. I need to eat. Just dozed off as I wrote the above paragraph so perhaps the four hours I spent outside are catching up with me. Already drank two big cups of tea and water so will drink a couple more before I’m done. It’s already in the nineties and will hit a hundred before the day is done. I’m anxious to get back out to work as I want to get fall crops planted, with the hope of finally producing some sellable produce. Found another wild watermelon vine that sprung up from some old seed from last years melons. It has one watermelon on it that’s about the size of a large softball. This is the kind of surprise I like and it’s where I just ran the drip irrigation so will now get water. Not the most convenient place for it but I’ll take what I get.

That’s it for now. I need to pick the meat off of the chicken bones for the soup I am making. It’s been in the fridge and thus out of sight so forgotten. Cherie put it on my list so I would remember to take care of it.

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