Blessed just to be here

9/21/10 Tuesday
It’s another day. Everyday I wake up I remind myself that I am blessed just to be here. Yesterday was a little harder to do that with because of the seizure. There are not like epileptic seizures. I use the word because that is what the doctors call them but mostly I describe them the way they affect me, as slowdowns. Yesterdays was a pretty bad one and took a lot out of me. Today will be better because I said it will. I think that the first thing I’ll do is take the big diesel into Midland and get the right seal for my transmission. It would sure be nice to get the pickup running even if the air conditioner doesn’t work. Easier and cheaper to drive for sure.



Had some wild and vivid dreams last night. In them I was back to using drugs, not at all a pleasant thought. Woke up at three and have been up since. Suspect I’ll be pretty tired by the end of the day. I’m to meet Linda at 3:30 to go pick up our new bathtub from Odessa. Some people bought it and I guess it was the wrong size so never installed it. The tub is still new in the box and we are getting it for half price. Actually the church is paying for that. What a blessing out of the blue that is. Linda was telling the pastor and others at church about our bathroom and they all decided to build us a new one. In my mind it is almost a luxury but to Cherie and others having a shower and working tub is more of a necessity. I’m a little rustic having lived on the streets homeless and enduring some pretty rough situations so it doesn’t take much to make me happy. Shoot, when we first moved into this house there was no hot water and we used a bucket to go to the bathroom in. It was much harder on Cherie than it was on me. God always provides, even when we don’t ask for it. When some stepped down from helping us He filled the gap with others.

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11:00 – It’s pain break time. Been pulling weeds most of the morning and when my back couldn’t take any more of that I hopped on the tractor and disced up more areas. Have to do it to keep the weeds down. The weeds I’ve been pulling are mostly tumbleweeds. They’ve intertwined themselves through the fencing around one of my plots so it wasn’t an easy task. Had to use the razor knife to cut many of the branches and pull up what I could. Because the wire fence runs through the middle of it all I’m unable to use a hoe or even the chainsaw so it was a painstaking one big tumbleweed at a time battle.

Yesterday the tractor was blowing lots of black smoke and overheated pretty quickly. It did that while at Linda’s too. This morning it seems to be running much better and did not overheat so whatever it was fixed itself. Hope it stays fixed.

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Out of the hundred plus seeds I planted of the Lincoln peas only eight came up. I keep trying, keep planting, keep hoping. They say the definition of insanity is to do the same thing and expect different results. By that definition I’m crazy. Of the five fifty foot rows planted with various things only the 8 peas germinated. For sure it’s a water problem. A friend was going to have our water tested at a different lab but something seems to have happened. She doesn’t respond to emails or much of anything else. I have to wonder if I said something or someone else did that poisonous words thing out of vindictiveness. We’ve certainly experienced a lot of that, good people who talk about loving God but do the work of the devil. I’ll keep trying, keep beating my head against the wall, keep working till I hurt too much to work any more, rest, then work some more. Don’t know how many seeds I planted this time but it was two rows where I had over a hundred in one row last time.

I’ve got to leave for Midland in an hour. Need to rest the back a bit before I get back at it but have to figure out what I’ll do next. Want to fire up the tiller but don’t have time for that. I think I’ll just pull more weeds.
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I just learned that we aren’t going to pick up the tub till tomorrow. That gives me more time to work around here so I guess I will fire up the tiller.