Building a fishing pole

9/3/10 Friday
We got rain!!! Not just a sprinkle but enough to make a difference. They say it will go back to being dry for the rest of the week but this will help germinate the seeds I put out. Today I’ll be tilling and planting more seeds, in a rush to get them in while the ground is still wet. Plus, with the ground wet, I can possibly dig trenches to extend the underground pipes to areas further out where we need irrigation.

With the rain came a cold front and that means the high temperatures today will only reach the 70’s. Cherie loves it and is greatly appreciative of this moment of coolness. It’s been so hot and humid all year that even indoors with the swamp cooler we’re lucky to get the temperature down to the mid 80’s. When your out in a hundred degree temperatures mid 80’s feel good but Cherie works in an air conditioned environment so she comes home to a hot house. We both sit in front of a fan a lot.

Today there is a Kairos event at the Lynaugh prison in Fort Stockton. I want to go and can get a ride with George but am under the gun to get things done while the ground is wet. I will go out and work as hard as my body will let me and when it gets close to the time I must leave to meet George must make a decision whether to go or not. It’s always frustrating, so much to do and only one of me. No matter what something gets neglected. When it’s the ministry of going to see the guys in prison versus a do or miss out timeline with the farm it’s tough. Do I neglect things of God for what I hope to one day be our livelihood?

At moments like this my frustration with a situation wells up within me. I constantly fight to keep that in check, to keep it from becoming a root of bitterness. We prayed for help and people helped. What we need is help building this farm into a business, a source not only of income but a place where others in need can find jobs and a safe work environment. Sure we had temporal needs but in the balance of things our greatest need is to be able to turn this farm into a profitable business. It goes back to my parable of either giving a man a fish because he is hungry, or giving him a fishing pole and teaching him how to fish so he can feed himself. Give him a fish and he has one meal that is soon gone. Give him a fishing pole and he can feed others for life. I am eternally grateful for the fish we’ve received but am looking for a fishing pole so I can not only help myself but others also.

Part of the frustration is that I know someone will paint this statement as showing ungratefulness for all they have done. It’s an awkward place for me to be in. The view from a self righteous balcony is one that blinds the viewer from seeing themselves. Self righteousness always paints the picture in favor of the painter, not showing the truth of the picture. It amazes me when I read the bible how the Pharisees, the religious leaders and elite, in their righteous zeal, were so blind to what was right before them. Jesus would heal someone before their eyes, not just a minor thing but undeniable big time miracles like someone being blind from birth seeing, and the Pharisees would get mad about it. And in their righteous blindness they then plotted how to kill Jesus, justifying it in their mind to the point that plotting to kill someone was actually doing something good? It just blows me away to read this happening time and again till they actually succeeded in killing Jesus. The fact that Jesus came to die and in doing so gave us all life is a part of that picture for Jesus knew their pride and He knew their hearts. Just like the prophets of old, Jesus knew that pointing out the errors of those who’s pride in their religiosity, who exalted in the acclaim and recognition they had among the people, would lead to their anger. This is the way of pride. Pride is the root of all evil.
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Got work to do and a tight time line so enough of this. I just pray that someone can open their eyes and see the truth. Not for me to be right but for them to be right with God. Got to go for I have a fishing pole to build, for this farm will do far more than just provide an income for us. It will reach out and draw others in so we can give them life.
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11:30 – Two more hours on the tractor and I haven’t gotten to the plow yet, just ran the disc. Had a hard time getting it started so that had me worried. Ran and got more diesel thinking it was about out but it wasn’t. One of these days I’ll fix the gauges but till then everything’s a guessing game. I am grateful for the coolness of the day. Pain level is fairly high but not too bad. It’s amazing how the tractor can beat you up. When I must turn around out in the pasture ground that hasn’t been worked yet it’s a real bumpy ride.

I need to get a rain gauge. We only got enough rain to wet the ground about three or four inches deep. It helps and will be enough to germinate seeds but sure could have used more. If there was more it would make pulling weeds out of the ground much easier.

I think I need to break out the tiller next, or should it be the plow? Perhaps the plow so I can prepare where I desire to put drip tape in the ground and that works better while it’s still moist. For that I need to change the arms on the three point hitch. Discovered recently that the arms were reversible so I’d been struggling with the smaller size hitches needlessly. I’ve been running it the way it is since we bought the tractor because I didn’t know any better. There is so much I don’t know. Sure would be nice to have a relationship with a local farmer where I could learn this stuff. I’m just not good at relationships. Not even close. That’s part of the brain injury but has been an issue all of my life because of the Asperger’s Syndrome.

I suppose I’ll fix a sandwich. Need to eat and need to plan the rest of the day. I so want to go to the Kairos meeting in Fort Stockton but it doesn’t look like it will happen. Only four hours till I’d need to leave and eight hours of work to do. Need to go back through the seeds and pick more out to plant, because the rats stole the ones I had picked out.