Expose darkness, scurry back under a rock

11/5/09 Thursday
This not eating for three days is not going to be fun. (Duh, state the obvious bob) The VA was supposed to overnight directions for all this colonoscopy stuff but it never came. So I drank two bottles of the laxative stuff they gave me with the predictable fun fun results. I’ll spare y’all the details. I feel weak and a little dizzy this morning and it’s only been one day. But there are things to do and the weather is nice. I’ll focus on the stone floor this morning but I also need to do some work on the old man’s doors. Perhaps I should do that first because once I mix up mortar for the floor I won’t be able to stop till it’s done, or else the mortar dries up and turns hard. So that’s decided. See how I figure things out as I write? Writing helps me organize my thoughts and puts them down so I can go back and recall what I came up with.

My thoughts have been on my family a lot lately. I need to email my sister just to keep in touch, to keep the door of communication open. And I wonder about my brother, how he’s doing and about the bitterness inside him that he projected towards me. My thoughts are that this is a screen put up that he can hide behind for fear I will expose what I know about him. The truth is something that so many people seem to fear and hide from, exposure to the light that brings all things out and makes them visible for all to see. Jesus said that there is nothing done in the darkness that won’t come to light. A simple statement and truth that makes many uncomfortable. And I understand this well, having lived in the darkness for so long myself. In nature there are those creatures who’s normal habitat is the darkness, who live under stones and debris. When the stone is lifted you can see them scurrying for the cover of darkness that hides them and keeps their lives hidden from view. For these creatures it’s a protection mechanism and the way it should be for them to continue life, but for humans it is different. We weren’t made to hide under the cover of darkness but to be out in the light. And the lives we lead should be such that we fear not exposure but indeed welcome it and can bask in the light for the world to see without shame. This is a goal I strive for and part of the creed I live by, “Love Life, Live a life you can love, become a person you can be proud of”. It’s a continuing process with ups and downs. Living publicly through this blog for the world to see helps me accomplish this. You know how it is, we all “straighten up” when we know someone is watching us. When you see a police officer with a radar gun you check your speed and make sure you use the turn signals. When your mom’s watching, you watch your p’s and q’s. (that’s one of those interesting sayings I wonder about, where it came from and how it came to be)

Some idiot put ad’s for boots on about 20 of my blog posts. I don’t know if they developed a computer program that figured out how to bypass the thing where you copy down the malformed letters or did it by hand. So I had to spend a lot of time deleting them.

So I’ve had my coffee with honey for breakfast and need to get going. Don’t need to be as close to the bathroom for now so will go to the old man’s and put some clavo’s or whatever they are called on a door. They are these big hand hammered rivet looking things that really enhance the rustic look of the doors. Bye now.
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I got the stone floor done. Didn’t have a clue what I was doing so did this and did that till something seemed to work. I’ll know more after it dries. I guess it’s warming up because I worked up quite a sweat doing it. Of course I was in a hurry because I didn’t know how long it would be before the mortar started setting up. Had to add water to it as I didn’t mix enough in the first time. But it’s done and now I can hook up the wood stove.

I’ve got one of those headaches. Unfortunately I can’t take aspirin because of the upcoming colonoscopy. I can take all the pain pills I need but no aspirin because it makes things look like they are bleeding or something. Too bad the pain pills don’t touch a headache. I found some chicken broth in our pantry so heated it up for lunch.

Bought another plow from the old man today. He was going to pay me for the work I did on the doors and I offered to trade what he owed for the plow. We went out and looked at it and he said “I think I’d be getting ahead on that deal”. I explained that I wasn’t worried about that and would be happy to trade the twenty hours I worked for it. He gave me the plow and some cash along with it. I’ll take the plow blade and put it with the other one to make what they call a “Two bottom” plow. Then I can make use of the three point hitch to make other things I can pull with the tractor.
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I screwed up. Was supposed to drink the last two bottles of laxative at 2:00 and totally forgot about it. So I drank them a few minutes ago, at 6:30. That means I’ll be visiting the bathroom till late at night. Crap, pun intended. I will be so glad when this is all done and over with. That will be tomorrow. Is it tomorrow yet? Is it? Ah, come on. Like I said before, fun fun.

That ugh boots idiot is back and put another batch of ads on my comment section. Spysweeper says they lead to a known attack site. Great.