I can do all things through...

1/28/10 Thursday
It rained hard this morning. I went online and googled Met Life, fraud and came up with lots of hits. Called a law firm that showed up regarding the sweet little old lady’s problem and it sparked immediate interest. So I’ll be gathering information and sending it to the lawyer for free evaluation. Hope it gets her help. I’ll sit down with her tomorrow and write down the details she told me before but I can’t remember. The lawyer asked questions I know I was told the answer to but was unable to recall. Makes me feel stupid but reminds me (like I need a reminder) that this TBI is still there after nine years. I’m much better but will never be as sharp as I was. Actually, now that I think about it, I haven’t been as sharp as I was since 1981 when I fell out of a tree, broke my neck and back, and sustained the brain injury that led to Cherie and I getting divorced. When I later built my companies I had a secretary who served as my memory and thus helped me keep up. I was and am still sharp when it comes to business but always had a problem with my memory.

That brings up something I’ve wanted to write about for some time. That is in regard to what is called a “disability”. I’ve experienced and seen many things in connection to this brain injury. There is a judgement at the core of many peoples responses to me that hurts and creates a wall that prevents any depth of relationship. I've watched as people bank on my forgetting and seen my thoughts discounted as those of someone who's "not right in the head".

So here’s the deal, "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me", is a scripture I cling to, but the fact is I can do much more with a little help to keep me directed and on a correct path. Stephen Hawking, the world famous physicist, has ALS. You can read about it on his website at http://www.hawking.org.uk/index.php/disability/disabilityadvice. His “disability” didn’t become apparent till he was 21 years old and through the years steadily worsened. If it wasn’t for the family and comrades who help him do basic things like get out of bed you would have never heard of him and he would not have the impact on science and the world he has today. If someone, totally ignorant of who he is and what he’s done, just ran into him in some waiting room you can bet that his initial judgement of this guy trapped in a wheelchair and unable to talk wouldn’t be terribly high. They might think “This guys a retard” or something to that effect. But because of the help, recognition, and understanding of those around him Stephen has been enabled to accomplish what he has.

Now I don’t pretend to be anything approaching Stephen, but I know that with a little help and support I can change the world, at least the world around me. Yet I feel a little isolated. Not from some who have been very loving and supportive but there are others, who keep me at an arms length and seem afraid to get close. What I do know is that I can make people uncomfortable. Whether it’s the lack of a smile, or the scowling countenance on my face, or that I say things that might not be appropriate, I can never be sure, but there’s something there. What I know is what I see. What I also know is that I can do little by myself but much with the help of others. Ecclesiastes 4 starting at verse 9 says "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: 10. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity on the man who falls and has no one to help him up! 11. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? 12. Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.