My dad has cancer

I just went to get mail. Opening the box there was only one envelope. I was surprised to see that it was from my dad. This would be the first time he’s initiated contact in thirty years. I was elated and apprehensive at the same time. I didn’t wait till I got to the truck to open it and was reading as I walked out the post office door. My heart sank. He said that in March he noticed he had mobility problems with his right side. At first they thought it would be a stroke but it turns out that he has primary CNS Lymphoma. That’s cancer of the brain. I looked it up online and it’s not good. Not at all. He’s being positive and said “hopefully I will be fully recovered in a few months”. He’s undergoing chemotherapy. In May he caught pneumonia and has been bed ridden ever since.

It’s heartbreaking that it took this for him to contact me. But now I have hope we can reconcile. He did say that I could write if I wish to. Even that is a first, a door that has never been opened. I want to go visit but don’t know where to go. I’m reeling here, all kinds of thoughts and questions in my mind. I am afraid that I will say or do something that will set him off and slam the door in my face.

I was going to get something to eat after I picked up the mail. Lost all interest in that and came straight home. I’ll whip up some peanut butter and jelly just to make sure I have some protein and will probably go work in the dirt as I work through all this.