2:30 – It’s certainly hot. I had to come in and grab a drink and lay down in front of the fan. Got some stuff done. Moved the refrigerator worm bin out to where the compost bins are now. Used the tractor to drag it out. I’m having another slow down coming, the kind that comes with that strange light headed feeling that is so hard to describe. Everything skews a bit. Ringing ears, sounds are loud, not really loud but I hear all the little buzzes and things that aren’t usually noticed. It’s…can’t remember what I was going to say. Hope this won’t be a bad one. Last night PBS had a program about Jason Crigler, a highly talented and acclaimed young guitarist who had a near fatal brain hemorrhage. I had gotten notification about it from one of the organizations for brain injuries I’m involved with but forgot. It’s getting pretty hard to write now because of the seizure but I want to do this.
A link to the program is http://www.pbs.org/pov/lifesupportmusic/index.php
Please go look at this. It will give you a good idea of what I’ve been through. Like Jason I had to be taught how to walk and talk. Like Jason the hospital tried to have me institutionalized because they said I would be a vegetable the rest of my life. Because the VA facility in Florida had no beds and no place could be found in Oklahoma for me they were going to escort me out of the hospital and probably dump me at Salvation Army. They guilt tripped my brother into picking me up. He didn’t have a clue how to care for me. But watch this if you could. And then tell me what you think.
It’s a bad slowdown. I’m having a hard time walking. That’s because my ability to operate the partially paralyzed right side is hindered. Hell, everything is hindered. Got a headache too. Damn it, I’ve got things to do. This sucks. Oh yeah, time to tell myself this is the price of being alive, I’m lucky to be here, but that doesn’t make me less frustrated. But I’m grateful for how good I’m doing compared to where I could be. That’s a reason to watch the documentary.
3 comments:
You know Bob, you make all my aches and pains seem so trivial. You amaze me at how you stumble, fall and get right back up again! I admire your courage and will!!!
I may despair but I never give up.
I know some will think it unseemly for someone to take pride in their...fortitude? not sure what word to use. But many have told me how I'm an inspiration to them so with that in mind I'll say this. When I was waking from the coma, a long process that took weeks, they had me strapped down and enclosed in a tent netting to keep me from trying to get up and walk. It was my stubbornness and persistence that forced them to teach me to walk. I could have laid in bed and let them change my diapers and feed me. If I had I would be a vegetable. I've spent a lifetime getting up after falling.
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