In a bad mood this morning

7/25/06 Tuesday
Not in a good mood this morning. Cherie is still taking everything on her shoulders and is exhausted. I have asked her for the three years we’ve been together to tell me things to do to help. She will do it one or two times and then go back to doing everything herself. I may have a disability but I am not helpless by any means. There is a pile of laundry that she has fretted about for days. She took some of it to her parents but there is still tons sitting on the floor. When I asked her if I could do it she told me that I shrunk some of her stuff and was kind of pissy. That was back a year ago and I told her all she has to do is separate things out and give me clear directions on what to hang up and what to put in the dryer. When she did that there were no problems.

Fought with this computer again this morning. Waiting for some money to get in the bank so I can take it in and have it cleaned up. Fixed some eggs and will go do some shopping. At least Cherie made me a list of what to buy. I tried to go online and check the bank account to see if the $100 credit from Firestone showed up. Couldn’t get in our main account because Cherie hid the passwords instead of putting them in the notebook we keep all those things in. Called her up and she said she hid it in case we got broke into. That didn’t set well at all. I told her that if we got burglarized we were screwed anyway. No one’s going to steal an innocuous notebook when there are multiple computers, TV, stereo, and other things a thief would want cause they could turn it into cash for drugs. I’m going to run to the store now. That won’t settle me down but it will be good to get out.

I was up late using the HP scanner to scan in the film negatives we found in the stuff from the farm. There are pictures of my brother and I when we were kids. Some were when we went to a place near the Mexican border they took us too. I remember that well. There was a spring of water gushing out of the hillside and they made some small lakes by damming it off. In them were catfish they fed daily. We would catch a batch every day and cook them right up. These were some of the rare good memories I have. I am sure there were many other good times but their memory is gone. There were some pictures of us with our mother. That I absolutely have no recollection of. I’ll post some of these when I get back from the store.
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Searching for memories. I spent the last two hours scanning in pictures from the farm. So much there, so much lost, some of it came back but there are mysteries here. Cherie came home for lunch and was nearly in tears because of our morning. She said she didn’t know what was wrong with her and was sorry. I hugged her and tried to get her more positive, telling her it would get better as she learned to ask me to do things. That seemed to help.

I went back to scanning pictures when she went back to work. Then the phone rang. It was Barb. She needs a ride to the courthouse to get the police report of when Basil broke into her place. This is important because she must have it for her meeting with section 8 to insure she will still have a place to live. That I will do for her. Called Fred to use his car. I’ll tell you more when I get back.
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Well the word’s out – Bob’s back in town… Taking Barb downtown was a reminder of what I do. You know, the short term memory needs reminders. Barb was kinda lost about things but that’s the way it is with a brain injury. I didn’t help because I, cock sure I knew where she needed to go, took her to the wrong building. Barb kept saying she thought it was wrong and even said “Let’s stop and look at the board that has all the departments”. I told her no, we needed to go down to the basement. Nope, Wrong Place!!!

Barb stopped a lady who worked there and learned we needed to be at the safety building next door. She called it the police station at first which lost me. I’ve been there several times in my life, often to purchase or deliver furniture for my business but also for legal problems.

We walked over there and found the place she needed to get the police report. I went with her to the window and when she got lost trying to explain to the lady behind the bullet proof glass jumped in to help. Come to find out the only police report they had was from the first time Basil broke in. That was the time he got arrested. The second time Barb had to go to the hospital because of the injuries Basil caused and never followed up on filing charges. Part of the reason is she has no way of getting downtown but most of it is again from the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). This is the same thing I fight, to follow through on anything. Never did finish the Love Story. Talked about that for a couple of years and even wrote most of it. It is somewhere in this computer.

There was no police report then. So back to her place I took her. She filled me in all the things going on. They are checking for two types of cancer. One in her breast and the other is what they already found in her uterus or someplace in that area. That’s the one she’s having a hysterectomy for. She has a new lady leading her “group” at the Zeph Center. Maybe she’s in a different group session, don’t remember exactly. This woman has been showing Barb “new ways to cook” as Barb puts it. She showed me some of the spices the lady had given her and told me what they do. This is basic homeopathic herbal medicine and will probably be very good for Barb. She is learning how to cook and eat healthily and has lost quite a bit of weight. I told her she looked great. Barb is caring about her appearance more and wore a bra in addition to some nice clean clothes. It is good to see.

She told me about who was smoking crack, the pervert who has stolen some of her Meals on Wheels food, who was with who, and the lesbians at the end of the row, one of whom switched her addiction from heroin to crack. Then she took me down there because the other one, who is also named Barb, is one of those I was taking to get food. “They want to see you” Barb told me. “OK, I’ll go over” I told Barb. They were happy to see me. I told them about Texas and they told me how much they appreciated the help I had given. It was enough. I’m not big on lots of praise so I said I needed to get home and excused myself.

I have been in one of those aggressive modes, which is not always good. Got home a bit faster than I should have. I had decided to make flan, the Mexican desert I made before that we love. Checking the ingredients I saw we didn’t have any sweetened condensed milk so hopped in the truck to get some. Saw some Western ribs on sale so picked them up. I guess I want to remind Cherie that I can and like to cook so she will schedule some days for me to do so. The ribs I will do in the crock pot tomorrow. I made the flan. The recipe recommends it sit for at least four to six hours and overnight would be better. When I made it before it never made it four hours before we attacked it. It is hard but we will stay out of it till then. Maybe. Hmmm, it’s sitting right over there in the fridge. “Did you hear that?!” it’s calling out my name. OOOH this is gonna be hard but I can do it. I kicked dope and cigarettes so I should be able to not eat a little innocent dessert.