Rough day.

7/23/06 Sunday
4:05 – Not doing good at all right now. I was up till two this morning going through the boxes of stuff we brought back from the farm. There were pictures going back to the fifties including some of my brother and I as kids. There were also notebooks where Lee recorded all of her financial doings. They also went back a ways. The oldest is dated 1959. These records are quite revealing and it will take a while for me to process this. I found a check for a hundred dollars made out to me that my brother had forged my signature and cashed in Kansas City, Missouri. Not good.

There was much that raised both memories and emotions. I finally went to bed at 2:00 but had a hard time sleeping despite being exhausted. Had a dream about Larry that was probably related to what I found. Finally woke up about 7:00 and Cherie, hearing me stir, brought me a strong cup of coffee. Needed that.

She had been going through much of the stuff I had found including what I threw in the garbage because it is so interesting. Many of the pictures were a window into both my past but Lee’s as well. I will scan some to put on the blog later. I had a physical slow down earlier. Some of my slow downs affect how well I can think but some effect my body. I suppose that is because the portion of the brain that controls my muscles is acting up. I laid down and turned on the TV but kept drifting in and out of sleep.

Cherie went to her parents to do some laundry and I had a resurgence of energy. I just spent allot of time organizing and filing the things I found. There were titles to the bus and pick up Lee had bought for my mom as well as oil leases and documents relating to the farm. I also found mother’s death certificate as well as my grandfather Rudy’s.

I just tried to go online and this laptop froze up. Windows Defender said it had to shut it down to protect it. This is not good so I will be forced to take it into the shop. Will have to wait till I get some money in. My pension check arrives on the first, which is Monday a week from now. Hope this thing doesn’t take a crap before I can get it in. It’s something I picked up while using the wireless at the hotel in Midland. Was there two weeks so who knows what happened.

I am in the middle of a second slow down. It is physical like the first because otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to write all of this. It had started just when I started today’s entry. I am afraid to go back online because this seems to trigger whatever this laptop has. Will give it a shot to attempt to post this.
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Ran every thing I could for the virus or whatever it is. Only found cookies. Even the Microsoft site found nothing. Had a headache for a while but it isn’t a migraine so that’s good. Cherie fell asleep twice. She doesn’t understand why she is so tired. It is muggy out and this apartment, being on the top floor with the sun beating down on the roof is fairly warm. There is yelling outside so we look out to see if it is a fight. Just some guy calling a girl “Bitch” and stuff. I am sure that one of the cars with the monster bass will be driving by before long. Sometimes it is the drug man and the bass that literally vibrates through our brick walls, rattling things on the nightstand, serves as his door knock so his clients know he is there and come out for their dope. Can’t wait to move to Texas. The noise of the oil trucks rolling down the highway in front of the house is quiet in comparison and don’t usually come by late at night. I didn’t get much research done for the farm today. Perhaps tomorrow after I take Fred to the barber. I am sure he will want to go to the dollar store after.