A foggy start

2/9/07 Friday
It’s a foggy morning, both inside and out. I suppose for me it’s residual leftovers from last nights migraine. Don’t know but the constant ringing in my ears is still there and I am running maybe a 5 on the bob scale. Not real good. Tired as well. When I woke up Cherie was already up and doing things. It is 29 degrees out and as you can see very foggy. I put my sweats on and ran out to take these pictures. The first one came out interesting. It was on the auto setting and because it was not real light out used the flash.

This second one I had on the distant scenery in low light setting. It came out much clearer but three of them I had to delete because they were blurred due to the slow shutter speed. Got lucky on this one. Hopefully I will get clearer like this picture did.

Today Cherie and I will finish up kinda clearing the living room. Amy and her two daughters will be here tomorrow. They will be our first guests that we will “entertain” if that’s the correct word. The only visitors we have had were pastor Dave and Steve the Sunday school teacher who brought us some food. He wasn’t able to stay so didn’t come in the house. Other than that the only visitor was Paula who came to inspect for our insurance. We are very much looking forward to Amy’s visit.

I took my meds this morning and think I should take some aspirin or maybe the Hydrocodone for the headache. I only will take the Hydrocodone because I need to get things done.

Well here’s a good example of how this journal helps me remember. I got up to take the Hydrocodone and gave Cherie a kiss telling her how much I love her. Then I went out and grabbed a few more logs to put in the woodstove. Looking out I decided to take another picture because I like the way things look with this fog. Cherie is tired so I invited her to crawl under the covers with me cause I’m staying here till this headache clears up. The brain has moved up to a 6 on the bob scale so that’s a good sign. Coming back to bed I open this laptop to read I was going to take the headache pill. It had completely slipped my mind. As usual a little distraction sends me on a different course with the old intention slipping away.

There, I took the pill. Got up and did it before I forgot again. Cherie is in bed and from her breathing will be snoring soon. There’s more wood on the fire so we will be nice and warm, thank you Amy. I will go online and after posting this will look up Texas A&M University to check out their courses on agriculture. Texas Tech didn’t have much except viticulture which is growing wine grapes. I would like to eventually do that but it is not a high priority for now.

I am up and moving and the pendulum of my brain function has swung to the higher end of the scale, running a strong 8 now. Love it when I even approach my before coma capabilities. Just got off the phone with Bob at the department of public safety? Or something like that. He’s the one that the department of transportation referred me too who handles things like felony auto theft. We had a nice talk on the details of my issue and when he gets back from his knee surgery next week he will call me and we will get together on this. Really hate to do it but it’s been eating at me along with the others who have taken advantage of and stolen from my grandmother and consequently from me. There are other motivations in this but I am not sure if I am in touch with reality in the hope this will open a door for any contact with my father. Part of my suspicions are that my brother has purposely poisoned my dad’s mind regarding me. I know that somewhere my dad got the idea or fear that I would sue him. For what I haven’t a clue. Hell, I turned down ten thousand dollars of inheritance from my paternal grandmother that he was going to release to me. This is because I said the only way I would accept it was if he would just talk to me. Of course the only pathway to communicate this was through my brother. Who knows what he said. I also know for a fact that Larry tried to talk Minnie Lee into leaving me this house and giving him all the land. That and how he took everything he could when our mother died shows a pattern of behavior. Like Dr. Phil says “Past performance is a good indicator of future behavior”.

I got distracted and went to studying Asberger’s syndrome online after googeling “Undiagnosed Asberger’s, Autism”. The more I read the more I see it as evident this was a big part of my problems through life. Pretty much match the criteria. Here’s another area my father could help me solidify if he would only talk with me. I can probably count the conversations we’ve had in the last thirty years on two hands. It is my continuing hope this closed and locked door can be cracked open just a hair.

My ears are still ringing but at least the headache has been greatly reduced, perhaps due to the medication. Time to go back online and this time look up Texas A&M University to see what they offer in the way of agricultural classes. I probably should see what local educational entities such as community colleges offer. Lots of work to do there. If I’m gonna do something with this farm I have to invest in the education.

And the pendulum swings. It’s 3:16. I have been doing great and accomplished much in the way of research. Not as much available in regards to agricultural education as I had hoped. At least not so far but there is more searching to do. Got into the populations of all the counties that fall within a seventy five mile radius of here. Gives me a picture of just how remote this part of Texas can be. The census data lists Martin county as having 4700 or so people. That is for I think an eight thousand square mile area. Thought that was thin but then I found a county with only 740 people. “Now” I thought “That’s got to be the lowest one”. Then I found a county that has only 347 people. Understand these counties are all about the same size. Now I was sure I found the record holder but Noooo! Here is the winner over all. Love county Texas, population 67. It’s bigger by far than Martin county. Haven’t found the square miles yet, got tired of looking. That is something else. Odds are one person owns the whole spread. Who knows but it’s fascinating, makes me want to go over there just to look.

We got a package in the mail today. It was made out to “Bob Carver” which caused some confusion as that is my E mail and blogging name. It came from Mellisa in Massachusetts . I met her on the Homestead website. She is another homesteader who is active on the forum there. Y’all ought to check it out cause there are some great people and a thousand topics going on. Another world and one I like to be a part of. She sent me a ton of seeds. She learned we are just starting out with this farm and want to plant a garden. Me and another homesteader, who’s name escapes me right now, started a threadcalled "Plant exchange, share what you got and Mellissa said she had tons of seeds to get out before they go bad. The little packets at the top are all carefully hand wrapped and labeled. They are the ones I look forward to the most as they are all spices of different types. Thanks Mellissa. There are tons of flowers which means tons of work for me. I told Cherie she has to show me where she wants them planted so I can create the flower beds. I look forward to doing that. We are going to bring this place to life folks.

Right now I am laying back down. Damned inconvenient. Ears never stopped ringing. At least I had a few hours of prime time. Think I’ll take some more headache medicine and rest a bit. I suppose it’s about that time anyway. Usually I wind down around 2:00.

That was whacked out. Had all kinds of wild dreams as I teetered in and out of sleep. Glad to be up now. Of course all the things that are on my mind come rolling out as I drift around in R.E.M. sleep stage. I heard knocking on the front door, which we don’t use, and walking there the door comes open and Amy walks in. She and Cherie start talking together and I go to start a fire in the woodstove. I find that Cherie had tried to start it and the woodstove was lifted off it’s base leaving the wood that was stacked neatly sitting out in the open. I start it and try to put the stove on top only to discover the stove pipe was pulled out and sitting on the floor. Now I am panickly trying to get this all together and it gets worse as the fire starts roaring. This goes on and when I did fully wake up I was still discombobulated and took a few to sort out. Glad to be up.