Ran with the devil, Walked with angels: It's the weekend. What to do?

2/17/07 Saturday
It is another bright cloudless morning so I hope to get lots done. Running just a little sluggish at a six on the bob scale. Cherie will go to Odessa for a free health screening they are doing at the mall there. Hopefully this will help alleviate the fears that seem to be increasing in her, to the point she is having anxiety attacks where she will take her blood pressure repeatedly as her fear grows. I hope this doctor the lady at Human Services recommended will work out because just having a doctor to see will alleviate much of this fear.

I am trying to work up a list of things to do. This is a normal and often times a necessary task for me, one they taught me at the Brain Injury Institute. Without it I can wander around starting whatever catches my eye and then start on something else with the previous project forgotten. So what do I need to do? I put a patch on the tire tube for the furniture dolly so I’ll go into town to put air in it. While there I’ll refill the two five gallons jugs of water we have emptied. With that done I want to work on the trailer, making it ready for the trip to Ohio. We leave in four or five days, either Wednesday of Thursday. No firm schedule, just whatever works well. Just thought of something else to do. That is to paint the inside of the metal cabinet I’ve prepared for Cherie to use for her sewing stuff.

I just helped Cherie wash her hair by pouring the heated water slowly over her head. I’ll wash mine as soon as the next pot of water gets hot. I think I will have Cherie cut my hair today. Been intending to do that for a week or two but keep forgetting. Want to look good when we go to Toledo. That’s not a very full day I have planned so far but there is plenty to do. I mostly need to stay focused on getting these things done first, then I’ll plan on other things.

It’s nine now and I am tired along with fighting a headache. Cherie went and got her health check up. She’s high on cholesterol, triglycerides, and her blood pressure, which we already knew. She was also a bit close to being diabetic. All of these things are weight related and I must admit I have corrupted her eating habits since I came into her life. I have already been pushing her to take walks to the well and back with me. That is a mile and a start. Told her to not buy what we shouldn’t eat. If it’s not here we can’t eat it. A big part of the problem is my love for sweets so that is up to me to control. I’m not exactly a picture of good health either so we will work on this together. Fact is we are so blessed with being together that it would almost be criminal for us to lose any of that because we didn’t take care of ourselves. I want to have as much quality time with this woman I love as I can.

On that subject I noticed that Valentine’s day has come and gone. “What did we do?” you ask? Nothing. That’s right, we didn’t do anything special for Valentine’s day. Now I know that might seem strange or certainly unexpected considering what a fantastic love story we have but Valentine’s is nothing special for us. We have both agreed not to make a big deal about it. Fact is every day is a Valentine’s day for us. We always find ways of doing things for each other. It’s not to “Show” how much we love each other but “because” we do. There is a subtle difference here. We have no need to prove our love because we both are comfortable and confident in our being one.

I did carve this Celtic heart for her on Valentine’s day in 2004. The inscription I put on the bottom reads “Just as the line on my Celtic heart has no end so is my love for you”. When Celtic knotwork is done correctly the lines always cross over and then under, never going over or under a line twice in a row. This particular design I created for the plaque you see featured on this blog so much. The one I carved in St. Louis as I was recovering from the accident. It is copywrited now and has become a signature of sorts for me.

So what did I get done today? I bought a different mounting hinge for the toilet seat. I got an inverter that we can use to power and charge up the laptops as we drive to Toledo. In fact we can plug anything into it that uses regular 110 volt household electricity. I need to E mail Amy because the one she had just bought when she came up here from San Antonio burned up in her car. Want to make sure I didn’t get the same kind.

I put the new license plate on the trailer. That was not a simple task as I had to dismantle part of the back door that I had built around the bolts that hold the plate in place. What else??? Think, think…I patched a hole I made in the kitchen wall a couple of months ago when I was painting and putting in the fake tile floor. Had forgotten about it till Cherie noticed Carman kitty stalking the hole. He had evidently noticed something moving in it as he was camping out and waiting to pounce. With rodents making themselves known through chewing noises I don’t want any easy access into the house. I did put rat poison in the crawl space a few days ago. Should look to see if it’s been disturbed. Back to trying to remember what I’ve done today. I filled up two of the five gallon and the two gallon water bottles at the drive up coin operated water station. I know you guys up north aren’t familiar with that but down here in the arid southwest you find them all over the place.

I just went and looked at the first part of today’s journal. Didn’t have a clue what I wrote but that is why I write, so I can go back and remember. I see that I was going to put air in the dolly tire and that helped me remember that I actually did get that done. I didn’t have much scheduled so didn’t get much done though I did manage to accomplish what I have written down. Whoopee. A big chunk of the day was spent in Midland where I stopped by Habitat for Humanity to get the toilet hinge and then went to Best Buy to get the power inverter.

There I did what I always say I don’t like to do. That is look at stuff I can’t afford to buy. Did lots of that, wandering through the stereo section dreaming about having a kick ass sound system in the garage. At Best Buy the sales clerks or… I don’t know what label you’re supposed to use but the guys and gals in blue shirts, all eagerly attack with a “What can I do for you? Are you finding what you need?” and the other questions they are programmed to ask. I’m not sure but I suspect that if they are caught not bouncing along someone’s feet like a puppy dog looking for a treat they will get in trouble. It gets old fast but on the other hand it’s real nice for me because I am clueless about so much stuff nowadays. Hell the boom boxes and car stereo’s all do things that are…out of my league. There’s the satellite radio, MGD, GSP, PHD, Bling Blang Bing, and other stuff that is all Greek to me. I know I’m only fifty but I feel like I’m grampa Jones from the backwoods of Hicksville when I look at this stuff. So it’s nice to have a kid patiently explain things.

I was explaining to a clerk how so much of this stuff was new to me and how amazed I was at how much has changed in the short time I was not in touch with this world. Of course I told him the story. You know folks, the one you’ve heard me tell on this blog a dozen or thirty times. “I was in a COMA, I lost my memory, I found my lost love”. I’m sure it gets old but it feels good to tell a great story, to impress someone, to get a message across, to have an audience. Is that wrong? I worry about sounding like a broken record. With a stranger it’s one thing because they’ve never heard it before but I’m sure it can get old fast. I am afraid I drive people away because of this but that might just be this massive insecurity I carry with me. We really haven’t connected with any one here yet as far as creating a real friendship goes but I not even sure how to do that. I know better than to think a friendship of any depth can happen overnight but the beginning stages of just spending time, of learning about each other and sharing thoughts and beliefs have yet to begin with anyone yet. I’m used to being alone as I have been most of my life and Cherie has had her share of that also, but I don’t really like it though there is a safety there.

I see that I am meandering around as I write whatever rises to the surface of this mind. It’s 11:00 now and I should call it a night. Cherie just brought me the PC card as she is done with it, so I can go online now. I reckon I’ll post this and try to get some sleep. I look forward to church now. That is a good thing I think. There is one person there that Cherie and I are observing carefully as we are unsure what lies below the surface when it comes to where we stand with him. Here I must be cryptic for while this journal serves as my memory, documenting our life and what’s going through my head, it also is public, available for the whole world (literally) to see. I will know what this refers to years later though you all won’t know today and frankly don’t need to know. I put this here specifically for me.