9/29/07 Saturday
It was a restless night with lots of not so pleasant dreams. Many of them had the old cast of characters from my life and involved me looking for drugs. There were the flavors of desperation, distrust, and paranoia that had been a part of that lifestyle. Those are days that I am glad are ancient history and no longer play a part of my life though I live daily with the consequences because of the wreck. It was most definitely connected to the drug use.
So we are heading out to do the last cotton field. Yesterday Don and his wife came over with their lawnmower. I had put an email on the Sunday school newsletter asking if I could borrow one to cut down the weeds that are growing back from when they had rented the brush hog and cut them down. I don’t want to let them get seven feet tall again. It’s borderline but I think I can mow them down with a regular mower. Anything too big I’ll chop down. It was a nice visit. They brought the mower out instead of letting me pick it up because they wanted to come see the place. We really appreciate that and enjoyed visiting with them. It’s nice to have folks come over. I wasn’t doing that well, rather slow, but I think I hid it well.
My check came in so that relieves the pressure. It was getting close. Janie paid Cherie for the work she has been doing over there and that supplied the gas we needed to go to the cotton fields. Some of them are sixty miles away making it a hundred and twenty mile round trip. The first thing I’m doing this morning is filling the gas tank on the truck. That will be about seventy five bucks as I have a thirty gallon tank. Gas is always the first thing I get with the check. A hundred and fifty dollars worth of gas a month makes a big dent in a nine hundred dollar veteran’s disability check. Don had asked about that and Cherie’s job, just getting a handle on our situation I guess. I showed him all the things others have blessed us with over the eleven months we have been here. An air conditioner, wood burning stove to heat the house, hot water heater, and a kitchen. How grateful we are and in retrospect how sparse life was when we first arrived. We pretty much were camping out in the house.
Cherie just went out and started the truck so it’s time to go.
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We’re back. I forgot to take a hat so probably got a little red on the bald spots. It was windy, which I like. We got the last two fields done so we are finished till next month. On the way home we drove by Luchi’s and saw it was open. Didn’t take much to decide to go there for lunch. When we see their sign saying “Open” and have some money that’s were we go. Good barbeque brisket and everything else. They aren’t open that much so it’s always good when we catch them.
I am pretty tired and have one of those headaches coming up. Haven’t had them as much lately. I tried calling Eileen, my former secretary, again and got the same “All circuits are busy” message I’ve been getting. So I called her daughter, Suzie. Woke her up, which is no surprise. She said that Eileen no longer has a phone at all. Said she was doing fine but I can’t put much stock in what Suzie says. I asked her to have Eileen called me and she said her mom doesn’t return calls. Now I really want to go to Toledo for Eileen is the best friend I’ve had and her health hasn’t been good for years. From what Suzie said I think she’s pretty depressed. Would love to move her down here, as I would Wayne and Allen. That’s me, concerned and wanting to help my friends. I’d move the whole lot down if I could. There is just no place to put them. I’ll have to take a nap. The headache is at the sensitive to light level. Not good.
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2 comments:
One thing that's changed for me since becoming a grownup is how I prefer to wake up from bad dreams rather than good dreams. It feels so much better when I wake up from a bad dream and realize that's all it was. However, waking up from a good dream is always such a letdown.
For me these dreams are a reminder of how far I've come. My past enables me to help others have a better future.
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