Just about choked!!!

6/29/09 Monday
Ok, what has happened since I last posted? I helped the old man load and move stuff Friday morning. Then I came home and worked on the farm till…I can’t remember but it was until I had to go to Midland. I poop scooped and think I went to Mrs. G’s but can’t remember for sure. Yes I did, I remember now because her lawn mower wouldn’t start so I took it home to fix. Then I worked again on the farm. Don’t remember what I did but know I wore myself out doing it.

Saturday Cherie and I both went to Mrs. G’s. She visited with her while I mowed her lawn with the lawnmower I fixed and did some other work around the house. They immensely enjoyed each other and never ran out of things to talk about.

Sunday we went to church. After I asked for help loading an old refrigerator that Mrs. G was throwing out and met the guys at her place. It wasn’t easy to load but we managed. The fridge doesn’t work but I hope to fix it. If I can it will be nice to store the seeds and organic stuff we use. We had put our old one out there when J and S bought us a new one. Unfortunately it stopped working. It will end up in the back where I will convert it to another worm raising bin.


Getting the fridge unloaded was a challenge. I created this ramp to do the job with. Unfortunately the tires on my dolly were too wide so I had to walk it down by hand, rocking it slowly inch by inch. Then I went back to work. At some point I let Cherie know that I was experiencing the strange symptoms that often precede a slowdown/seizure. My ear rings and sounds become oddly clear with little ones, like a bug flying somewhere, stand out in front. Plus my balance and coordination are off. Sure enough one came after that. It was pretty bad so I wandered around lost, forgetting what I was doing as I did it. But I persevered, kept working, focusing on one task to help not get distracted. This lasted a few hours and after that I was drained, done for the day.


When I downloaded pictures, just now, I saw this one. Evidently the wind blew this big metal thing you see at many oil wells down. It’s the well just across the highway from us. What a mess this is. Quite an oil spill. I’m glad Gretchen and Ben don’t wander off like they used to cause it would be not good for them to get in this stuff. I thought of getting some of this crude oil in a jar and sending it to friends so they could see what their gasoline and oil came from. But I don’t want to mess with it so that’s that.

I just got back from the VA. We had dropped Cherie’s truck off at John’s Automotive in the morning to get the air conditioner fixed and I took her to work. Then I went to Big Spring to find out why they didn’t send my seizure medicine. They had ordered it but the computer showed they never printed a label so it wasn’t processed. Big mistake on their part. Having a major seizure, like I had back in Toledo four years ago, would be incredibly dangerous if I was driving. I made sure to tell them that. They apologized profusely. Problem fixed.

On the way home John’s Auto called. When he told me $760.00 to fix the air conditioning I just about choked. There’s a switch that doesn’t work and a hose that leaks. The switch is Three hundred thirty something dollars and the hose a similar amount. I told him to just replace the switch. If the hose doesn’t leak bad I will just keep recharging the air conditioner. A can of refrigerant only costs twenty something dollars and I can refill it by myself. If it leaks bad we can save up the money to replace the hose.

I’m tired again, falling asleep at the computer. It’s always so frustrating to get so tired. This time I filled the screen up with K’s as that finger was on the keyboard. Both the dogs come in to the office when I’m on the computer and lay at my feet. This always touches me. Such great dogs. It’s only 11:13 and there is much to do but I think I’ll need to take a short nap. Didn’t get much sleep last night. The night before I didn’t fall asleep till after three in the morning. Hopefully an hour nap will refresh me so I can get my butt to work. They usually do.
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It’s so frustrating to be me. I woke up at 1:45, or maybe I should just say got up as it really wasn’t what you would call sleep. I could hear thunder outside. “Great” I thought, “We might get rain”. Putting my hat on I went out. As soon as I stepped out I really became aware of the headache. Oh I hurt while still laying in bed but walking into the light just stabbed it home. My pain level is up from moving the fridge but I can deal with that, took one of the pills that help so much. Even that frustrates me, not the pain but the pain pills, but they help. However they do absolutely nothing for these headaches. Aspirin seems to help a little so I’ll go take two right now before I forget. It’s so strange to have a headache and forget to take aspirin despite feeling it so acutely. And then after I take it I must make a note because five minutes later I can’t recall if I did or not.

It drives me nuts to not do the things I want and need to but this is a big reason why not. I lose hours and sometimes whole days where I just can’t do anything or if I can it’s not much. I keep telling myself that I’m lucky to be alive and often say to Cherie and others that “This is the cost of being alive” but that doesn’t always help.

I just realized I never ate. Don’t feel like it at all but know I should. I’ll look in the fridge. The peanut butter and jelly sandwiches I often have, one of my favorites, don’t even sound good. I’ll force something down.