Sunday, April 08, 2007

Easter

4/8/07 Sunday
It’s Easter Sunday and it’s twenty four degrees out. I woke up with a headache. Was up and down all night. It helped me keep the fire going in the wood stove though that is not why I was up. Just couldn’t get comfortable no matter what.

We’re not going to church this morning despite it being Easter. Don’t feel up to it and am only operating at a five on the bob scale. Not real cognizant at all. I don’t know how it is here but in most churches across America Easter is a fashion show as women, and probably a few men, trot out their best for church. Nothing really that wrong with that but we can’t compete. I don’t care personally but Cherie doesn’t have a lot that she can wear anymore. She has a lot of really nice stuff but with age clothes sizes change. Gone for me are the days my suits were all hand tailored and I had the best of everything. Now I wear jeans to church though they are my best “dress” jeans. How life changes. All that is not why I’m not going, just don’t feel up to it.

I’m a little depressed about my not keeping up with things. I dream of building a business with this farm but can’t seem to handle planting and caring for a garden. I know it’s early and all and an Easter freeze is something out of my control but that’s not it. I planned on covering the corn, draining the water hose, and wrapping that spigot to protect it from freezing. Planned it, told Cherie I’d do it, thought up ways how to do it, wrote about doing it, and nothing got done. It just vanished from this mind as all things do from time to time, only to return when it is too late. Eats away at my confidence.

My thoughts constantly turn to my family, wondering how my dad is, what my brother is saying about me, if anything, and how my sister, Robin, is doing. I’ve been meaning to send her an E mail for a couple of months now but that is just another thing that doesn’t get done. I imagine walking up to my dad’s house and knocking on the door. In that daydream we talk things out and I help him understand why I was such a strange son (Asberger’s syndrome). In the end I am accepted by my father. Like I said, it’s a daydream.

Not the best way to start a day.

6 comments:

sweetbeachcafe said...

Happy Easter Cherie & Rob! I hope you both have a great day and stay warm...lol. It snowed here also. Cher - congrats on the new job. It's a great way to learn all the back roads and neighbors!

ByronB said...

I'm amazed you get as much done as you do - I feel quite tired at the end of reading some of your entries, I wish I had half the energy!
Keep dreaming - where would we be without dreams?

Amy E said...

Happy Easter Day! I sure wish I lived closer so I could help you cover your corn and such. Had to rush out and cover my tomatoes tonight, as it is supposed to get freezing here tonight. Don't worry Bob, you have plenty of time to plant more corn. Just figure this year as your "learning curve" and don't stress too much. That is what I am doing, as this is my first garden myself.

Congratulations Cherie on getting the job! I am so jealous! I wish there was something like that near San Antonio! Happy Easter again!
Love, Amy

portia said...

Hello Rob-
I came across your blog in an odd way - I recently wrote a book called 'Strange Son' about my son with autism who didn't communicate until he was nine years old. I have a "Google alert" which looks for any reviews on the book, etc. and I happened to see your blog and the reference to Aspergers syndrome. Did you know you had it before your accident and how long were you in a coma? Your story is truly amazing; I was very moved by your writing and your honest self-examination that you share with the world. I believe that if you can "see" something in your mind it means you can do it. Call it day dreaming, imagination or whatever - the fact that the mind can envision something means it has already happened in a mental form and that means that some manifestation of the thought can take place. Whether that event will take place symbolically, or in real time or "on time" is another story - I am a chronic daydreamer and thinker myself, and I too often show up late and forget to do things because I am so busy "thinking". Maybe that's what writers do and you seem to have a knack for writing yourself. Best wishes to you in all that you set put to accomplish in life,both big and small. -Portia Iversen

Bob said...

Wow! It is taking me a while to process all of this and decide how to respond. I'll be going to your blog where I will leave my E mail address. Actually the address is listed in the foreword at the top of this blog. I think I will address your questions by posting an entry specifically on this. If any of my story can help anyone I am more than happy to make it available. Did I know I had Asberger's before the coma? I didn't know Asberger's existed till I began to study brain injuries to understand what was going on with me. I'll have the full response posted a little later. I always love people who see a problem and do what they can to help others about it.

portia said...

Hi Bob-
Thanks for your reply, I'll be interested to hear your further reply whenever you write it. FYI, I have started an online community for people with family members on the autism spectrum - it's at my book website: www.strangeson. com, if you'd like to join the community just sign in on the right side of the web page. Also, you may already know this, there is an extensive Asperger web community and discussion group at www.wrongplanet.net. I am now really curious if you think the Aspergers was a result of the injury or if you always had it but didn't realize it until after the injury. I am impressed with your writing style in any event. Thanks for sharing whatever you feel is useful or helpful. Best wishes, -Portia