I'm not going to answer the door

9/22/09 Tuesday
It’s cold. The first day of fall came in with a chill wind and a dramatic drop in temperature. Yesterday it got to 94 degrees and last night dropped to 45. Today’s high will only get up to 64 or so. I’ll need to dig out the electric space heaters now. Fall is only a couple of months long before winter comes so it’s time to prepare. I was going to remove the wood stove in order to make room for those who were going to repair where our wall burned two years ago but am glad I didn’t get to it now. It doesn’t look like that will happen and that I’ll be needing to fire it up to heat the house before too long. I do need to locate more firewood if I can. There was a place that had piles of it from where trees had been cleared but every time I stopped by no one was home. I left notes but got no reply and now the wood is all gone.

My toe is still painful, making walking a chore. Don’t have a clue what caused it, just hurts down in the bone or joint real bad. If it’s not better in a few days I probably should go see the doctor at the VA hospital. But this is causing me to concentrate on the writing I need to do so that’s good. I’m starting my days out with prayer and reading the bible now as I continue to seek God. There is such a conflict inside when it comes to that.

I need to run to Midland today and plan on getting Cherie’s truck while there. With it I can transport a big box of old video tapes to a friends house so he can pick out whatever is there he might want. Then I need to get a load of horse manure from the old man. That will be tough with this bad toe but needs to be done. I never planted any fall crops. Just gave up on that after learning how bad the water is. But despite that I’m still collecting manure to condition the soil. Why? Hell, I don’t know. I refuse to give up but lost my enthusiasm. That makes it hard to keep going. Now the tractor won’t start and there’s a lot of work it needs to do. Sounds like depression is knocking at the door but I’m not going to answer it. Once you let depression in it’s hard to get rid of. That’s a fight I’ve been battling for years now.

Got to go.
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I had to get a flannel shirt out and put it on as it’s getting chilly. All the animals are on the bed with me so that makes things cozy and warm. If I can get one of them to lay across my feet it would be perfect. I heated up the last cup of coffee but that didn’t last long. By the way folks, Rascal is recovering well from his leap out of the truck. He had us worried for days as he wouldn’t get up or go anywhere but once he started going outside he picked right up. Poor Trixie was depressed and lonely till then as her brother is her main play (and fight) partner but she sure perked up when Rascal started going out. The bond between Rascal and I is deep so it perked me up too. Nate’s (Cherie’s nephew) dog, Maple, is in bad shape and may need to be put down. It’s a hard thing and hard on Nate as well. I can sure feel for him on that. I’ve had several dogs in my life that have passed on due to old age or other causes so it doesn’t hit me quite as hard now, though it still “hits”, but this is Nate’s first dog. I hope Maple pulls through Nate, Ok? Will pray for her, best I can do from here.

So it’s back to business plan work.