Friday, September 25, 2009

Reaching through clouds

This is a real rough day. It’s like reaching through a cloud and trying to grab something you can’t see. I have a headache too and that doesn’t help. I’ve gone out to work on the tractor a few times now but don’t get far. I tried to work on the business plan with the same result. I ran to town for mail and picked up a couple of burritos. Just sitting there listening to the people making the food was like being in a cloud where I had to struggle to follow the conversation. It’s frustrating to become so stupid, where simple things become hard. Hope it passes. Suppose it’s part of the brain injury. But I’ve been so much better. Don’t want to go backwards. Just want to fall asleep and wake up better. Hope dad’s ok.
I went out and took another piece off the tractor. Just couldn’t stand not doing anything. It was hard to reach and hard to see. As far as I could tell it was a central part in the electrical maze/system that I was certain I saw wires leading from it to the starter. After finally getting it off I discovered there were no wires connected to it at all, at least not any more. That there had once been is certain but in the years of southern engineering this tractor has gone through since then it had long since been bypassed. Another moment of frustration as I reach through clouds. I put my tools up. I had left them out in the rain so they were getting rusty. One good thing about working indoors on the business plan is that I haven’t needed to take any pain pills for days. But I hurt now. It’s not hot out but I seem to be getting sweaty and warm, then cold.

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