Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Migraine start

(The last entry made yesterday. Didn’t get it published) We’re at the Zeph Center now. When I drove up and parked on the side of the building there was a pick up next to us. A guy leaned out of the passenger side window and asked Wayne if he wanted to buy anything. Can’t get away from it. Selling crack at the mental health clinic right next to the front door. I suppose a large percentage of the clients have drug problems, In fact I am pretty sure of it.

4/18/06 Tuesday
7:53 - I am a little rough this morning.
11:36 – Not doing good at all. Fred called and asked me to take him to the Pharm at 10:30. We just got back. I had a mild headache when I woke up but it is now at migraine level. Walking with Fred through the store was a chore, not only because he was being difficult but I am very unsteady on my feet. That in addition to being physically weak made time slow down so everything seemed to take forever.

Fred wanted aspirin so I led him to the aspirin aisle which took forever as he would peer intently at every item on every shelf along the way. Once, sweeping his arm to indicate what he was talking about he said “Looks like they have all their Easter candy out”. “Fred, that’s the bags of charcoal and barbeque stuff” I let him know. When we finally made it to the aspirin he had me look for the specific type of Bayer aspirin he insists on. I found it and handed it to him. “No, that’s not the right stuff. That says pain relief on it” Fred protested. I explained it was the kind he likes and wanted but he said “I know what I want”. I had read every label of every type of Bayer aspirin and with this gave up. I just shut up and let him go through all the boxes again, watching as he would put them up to his face to try and discern what they said. Finally he picked up the same box I had originally gave him and said “Is this the same one you had? I guess it’ll have to do”. From there I dutifully followed him, announcing what aisle he was entering “This is cat food and soaps on the other side. Here is the candy isle you wanted”.

I was glad when he finally went to the cash register. The headache was really there and I just wanted to get home where I am now. Glad to be home. I am scheduled to go see Cindy Smith and help her with her computer today but I suspect that won’t happen. Not unless I go through a dramatic improvement.

3:00 – I just called Cherie and thus see I am only running at a 4 or 5 on the Bob scale. To help y’all (I was born in Texas so I can say Y’all) understand that I’ll explain. While I am by myself I am less able to determine how fast this damaged brain is working. However when I have to interact with someone by having a conversation it becomes quickly apparent. In the course of conversation I must process what I hear as well as formulate what I will say. When I am slow it can be heard in my voice, which becomes less lively and kind of paced, literally slower. By the way I use the label “Bob scale” so I can use the search engine to find this information. This helps me map how I do on a day to day basis as well as over the entire year. Part of the motivation for this is to be able to supply doctors with this information. They ask me how I do and I can’t remember so am unable to give a good answer. “How many migraines did you have since we saw you last?” they would ask. I used to just guess at it but that doesn’t help them help me. That’s one of the reasons for publishing this journal on the blog. I can go online at the doc’s office and accurately answer their questions.

I called Cindy to let her know I am not going to make it. Worked out because her hubby was home in bed with a bad back and she was fighting her computer all day trying to get switched over to broadband from her dial up connection. I tried to help her over the phone but get lost on my own computer so that wasn’t a good idea. Was smart enough to end that attempt at being helpful. Probably would have crashed her computer.

I also called the attorney in Kentucky to see if she got Wayne’s info. She will get back to me. Her mother in law died and of course that ties things up, especially when she is the only attorney in the family. Everyone is leaning on her for advice.

4:00 – Still moving through a fog. At least the migraine has backed down to manageable levels. It is hard to believe that in another life I paid money to be in this condition or worse and called it fun. If it wasn’t at the bar it was drugs. Now I don’t have to pay to get lost in the house and be confused, it’s all FREE, LUCKY ME, I’m naturally stoned whenever I don’t want to be. Brain damage is so much fun. I think I should take a break now before my sarcasm gets to unmanageable levels and I have to explain I am not serious. Seriously!
I was going to have ice cream for lunch but forgot to eat lunch. That's Bob life.

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