Monday, January 09, 2006
It's a heat wave out here. Going to get up to 45.
It’s another day. I am running about an 8 on the Bob scale. Church starts at 10:30 today. We are going because they are good people who reached out in their own way. I still hope they are not offended by our decision to find another church. We really haven’t put any effort into that. Partly because of all the things going on with my grandmother dieing but also because of my growing skepticism and the revulsion I have for the increasing use of God to make money. Nothing new there but it is rapidly growing.
Well, that’s as far as I got yesterday so let me fill in some of the blanks. We did make it to church. Bill seemed genuinely happy to see us. I know I should be more sure of that and I really believe he was, it’s just that it’s hard to trust anymore. I still carry the scars from Cedar Creek where those we opened up to, those in whom we sought the “Love of Christ”, those we dared think were our friends, shunned us and asked us to go somewhere else. We’ve looked for God but I haven’t found Him in the churches though He is evident in some of the people there. I’m still looking for Him. I hope He’s somewhere.
Church was OK but we both had to fight sleep. Everyone, or at least most of them were really “Feeling” God. I wonder if it wasn’t something worked up as they sang songs and immersed themselves in the music. There were a couple of prophesies or words from the Lord. These are generally platitudes covering loving God, being faithful, hang in there, and the other themes common in this branch of Christianity. I feel bad about these thoughts. Guilty just to think this way but it has been my vow since I woke from the coma to be honest, to not put out a false front.
I just read my Bible during the service and thus stayed awake. I read in Kings where Elijah sent his servant to tell this guy Joash or something that he was king of Israel and had to go kill a bunch of people. Then it was about one group killing another, then the retaliation, fooling lots of people who worshiped another god called Baal into getting in a building where they were all killed. But wait, the fun keeps going. There’s seventy or so heads piled up at the gate of the city, Jezebel gets thrown out a window, trampled with the kings horse splattering blood all over the place. Man!!! The Bloods and the Crips got nothing on these guys.
After church Cherie and I enjoyed each others company like we always do until I had one of those migraines that come on so fast. I was sitting at the table and my right ear started the loud ringing that often precedes a migraine. I took the migraine pill but shortly added two aspirin and a Tramadol to it. By then I had crawled into bed with the blinds closed. I was growling so Cherie figured it was a good time to go shopping and it was.