Monday, January 16, 2006

This is my late grandmother, Minnie Lee, who's house and possesions have been pillaged by some of her own kin. My kin also.

1/16/06 Monday
I am tired. Cherie has left for work a little frustrated because it has become a contest for parking with many already in and working by a quarter till.
I went back to bed and am watching Dr Phil. I am not doing bad cognizance wise, running at a seven. I will try to call Minnie Lee’s lawyer in an attempt to get up to date regarding probate. Being this far away without understanding what is going on is maddening.
It is another beautiful day like yesterday and the day before. I didn’t get out at all because I wasn’t doing well. Two days of migraines and slow downs was tough. I fixed breakfast this morning and will get myself moving. It would be a good day to go to
the Y.
I called the lawyer, James McGilvray, in Texas and talked with the woman who answered the phone. I explained that we hadn’t heard from Virginia or my brother and wondered what was going on. We talked a little and she reassured me that things were going ok though Virginia had canceled the probate hearing and it didn’t seem to be rescheduled. I told her that Virginia had an infection that required a trip to the emergency room and that I feared it may have returned because she has not responded to our calls and E mail.
I called Virginia at her work and she answered the phone. She said that she was still fighting the infection and was going in for another dose of antibiotics today. She told me that she had sent a couple of E mails, including a reply to one of mine. I haven’t received any and told her so. Then I asked her to send me an E mail right away in case something was wrong on her end. This is strange because, from my experience, E mails don’t get lost. If they aren’t delivered I always get a notification regarding that and I am sure she does also. Actually we have Yahoo and that may be a service from them. Neither of Virginia’s E mail address is a mainstream server so it could well be the mail was lost. Beats me. I just listen and think about what I hear.

I just got off the phone with Larry. It will take me a while to digest all of this. He starts with “Hey…I’m sorry I didn’t get back with you earlier, I was busy”. “How ya doing” I asked. “Oh, I’m laid off again, I’m not working. This is the third time with these guys” he answered. Larry now blurted out with a statement “Either we come to an agreement or Virginia will sell off the land and split the money.”. I don’t think that’s the way it is and told Larry so. He repeated this several times, trying to convince me, and got a little upset when I told him I would check with a different attorney from the one handling this. “You can do what you want but I’m telling you that’s the way it is.”
Then Larry started with “I’ll tell you what I’ll do” and listed how he had decided things will go. “If you and Cherie want to live in that house I think that’s great and will let you, I’m all for that”. I let him go on for a while as he disgorged his rehearsed litany and then stopped him. “Larry it sure sounds like your being gracious. But who are you? It sounds like you are telling me this is how it’s going to be. That’s not how it works.”. He breezed over that and started talking about selling the land. “Larry, I not selling the land” I let him know. He probably doesn’t realize, or I am sure doesn’t care that I had promised Lee I would not break up the farm. For him a promise is something you say to get your way, not something you keep.
Now Larry tells me he had an appraisal made “The lands worth $30,000 and the house isn’t worth much, only $10,000. I already have a buyer for the land”. Evidently in his graciousness he planned on selling all the farm but leaving me and Cherie the house. You know, the one that’s not worth much.
The will hasn’t even gone through probate yet and he is pushing ahead with his agenda. He kept telling me that if we don’t come to an agreement Virginia can do what she wants with the estate. “I’ve been talking to Virginia” he told me as if it would convince me. I find that curious. Something else to ponder. Larry pressed me for an agreement “We have to be in agreement. Do we have a deal?” “Larry, this all sounds good but I’m going to wait for probate and then we will sit together, negotiate, and record our agreement all nice and legal” I told him. “Oh! Yes, I want to do everything right and legal” he said. With sarcasm he did not miss I said “Really! You want to do things nice and legal! That’s good to hear”. (This was in reference to how he had cleaned out my mothers estate and forged her name on the truck titles and did not tell me she died till four months later) Larry said goodbye on that note.

It’s 3:56. I just got back from taking Wayne to get food perhaps a half hour ago. I have been going over this call from Larry ever since I got it. Cherie returned the call I made while on the way to get Wayne, leaving a message I had talked with Larry. She called while we were in Kroger. I started to tell her about the phone conversation but it became a struggle to put it together. Looking around the busy store and Wayne talking to an old friend I realized why it was suddenly hard. Too much activity going on for me to process it all. I told Cherie I was in the store so would have to not talk. She knew instantly why. I love that. She is a good wife. I am a lucky man.

Still chewing on this whole situation. I had written earlier, last week or so, that I didn’t trust anyone. It bothered me when I wrote it. But it has me thinking. What is trust? Do we really trust? I do trust but it is not a black and white thing. I extend trust, just kind of lay it out on the table a little at a time. Then I watch to see what is done with it. Fact is I just watch everyone and see if what they say matches what they do.
There are only two that I trust in the true sense of the word. They are Eileen, my former secretary, and Cherie. There are many others that I trust to certain degrees but always with reservation. Just because I trust doesn’t mean I won’t verify what I am told or what is presented. One of my favorite songs, favorite because of it’s message, is “Smiling Faces”. Here’s the opening lyric. “Smiling faces, sometimes pretend to be your friend”. Then it goes on to warn of the deceptions of the world.
So trust is a rare commodity that must be earned with me now. My own mother lied and stole from me, from her mom Minnie Lee, and I am sure many others. My brother also betrayed trust. Minnie Lee’s farm house has been repeatedly ransacked and stripped of everything of value, all the while locked up with only relatives having the keys. So who can I trust?? The list would fill volumes if I put down every time my trust was violated. Either I was just a fool all those times or there just aren’t many who can be trusted. Nah! It’s a little of both. The fact is most prey on the weak. How’s that? Think about it. The true test of character comes when circumstances place an opportunity to benefit without getting caught in front of you. It’s the classic question. Would you turn in a bag full of money that you found abandoned? Would you take just a little out?
So what is different from finding the bag of money and taking just a little of it, and leading someone to believe your looking out for them while pocketing what you can. It’s when you think you can get away with something that you are tempted. For most a fear of the consequences is enough to check their behavior but if the consequences are negligible they will take greater chances. Thus I learned that by making the consequences as severe as possible I reduce the likely hood of being hoodwinked. Then some dumb ass who doesn’t have a clue who I am comes along. It is like an endless cycle. I’m tired of it.

It is 7:30. Cherie fixed a fantastic chicken enchilada dinner and I whipped up some guacamole. When we got done I felt a headache coming. This is a fast one and comes with a slowdown. I was fairly sharp all day long. If I am going to have a slow down I would rather it happen late. I missed two days because of this. Why can’t I just have them in my sleep?
This headache went away fairly quickly with the Zomig melt in your mouth medicine. We are still concerned about Texas and what Larry said. I think I will need to find a Texas lawyer to look into things a bit deeper.

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